Adoption almost complete

Angi - posted on 10/17/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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Evening ladies.

I'm Angi and have been a member for a while. I read occasionally, but this is my first time to post. I have been a foster parent to a little boy for almost 14 months. I found out in May that I am going to get to adopt this wonderful, beautiful baby boy and my friends and family are very excited.



I guess to start off with is are there people here who have done foster care and adopted the child they have/had? I have a ton of other questions, but I thought I would ask that one first, then go from there.

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19 Comments

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Paulette - posted on 12/02/2009

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Hi Angi, I adopted my great neices after having them in foster care for 1 1/2 yrs. They are now 3 and 4. Although it wasn't an easy decision as I am an older parent, I couldn't fathom sending them back into the system after they had been with me for so long already. My younger one was only three weekd old, and her sister was a year. It has been an incredible journey and the best part is sharing my life with these two precious children.

Mary - posted on 11/28/2009

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Hi Angi my husband and I just started foster care with the intention to adopt.We have a 7year old little girl that has been wth us for just a few short months..We were told we had to foster for 6months before we could adopt..So we are waiting on the 6 months to pass so we can go forward with the adoption

Debby - posted on 11/22/2009

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well first thing first, congrats! We adopted our daughter through foster care..she was only our second child too..If you have any questions feel free to email me, I 'd love to help you in any way I can!

Angi - posted on 11/21/2009

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Quoting Leah:

I am very excited for you! We too, are in the process of adopting three little girls. Their ages are 4, 2 and 8 months. We have been put in the state's "Swift Adoption Unit", which we are told takes about 120 days to finalize from start to finish. We have been foster parents for 4 years, and weren't planning on adopting, but as many of you have mentioned, your hearts have a way of getting into the picture. We have also decided to find a special needs child to adopt. Currently we have our home study in on an 18 month old boy with Down Syndrome. We are anxiously awaiting news. I am an educator of moderate to severely disabled children. I have a special place in my hearts for these children and hope we will be selected. Congratualations again and best wishes for a wonderful future!



 



Thank you so much Leah!  I am excited for you too and look forward to hearing about the newest addition to your family as well!





 

Leah - posted on 11/21/2009

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I am very excited for you! We too, are in the process of adopting three little girls. Their ages are 4, 2 and 8 months. We have been put in the state's "Swift Adoption Unit", which we are told takes about 120 days to finalize from start to finish. We have been foster parents for 4 years, and weren't planning on adopting, but as many of you have mentioned, your hearts have a way of getting into the picture. We have also decided to find a special needs child to adopt. Currently we have our home study in on an 18 month old boy with Down Syndrome. We are anxiously awaiting news. I am an educator of moderate to severely disabled children. I have a special place in my hearts for these children and hope we will be selected. Congratualations again and best wishes for a wonderful future!

Angi - posted on 11/07/2009

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How long have you had your baby? Did you do adoption announcements and/or invitations for the hearing? We are. I am just deciding how I want them to look and what to put on them.

Our baby has the most amazing god parents. He will actually have two sets. There was no way I could decide between one or the other. In January when he will be baptised, his god parents will do a reception/brunch for us. I didn't want to do the baptism during the holidays because I want this day to be about/for him.

Rhonda - posted on 11/06/2009

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I'm pretty sure that we were sworn in. The judge just made sure that we knew it was a life long commitment etc. We took pictures. It was the same judge that I saw during the court dates before parental rights were terminated. It was nice to see the friendly side of him. We had a lot of people there. The child welfare worker said that she had never seen so many people at a finalization and we had a Happy Adoption Day party afterwards. We will probably be a little more low key with our baby. Our first two were 3 years and 5 years, so we made a big deal out of it.

Angi - posted on 11/06/2009

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Rhonda,
I am just curious as to what happens during the finalization hearing. I was told that the judge would swear me in. He's even going to come from behind the bench and take pictures with us. The courtroom is cleared out for 15 minutes for the picture taking and such.
How many people did you have at your adoption hearings? I think we are up to 30 people. Did you do anything special afterwards?

Rhonda - posted on 11/06/2009

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We adopted our first two foster children in July of 2008. We have a 13 month old foster daughter currently and have a finaliztion hearing scheduled for November 23rd. Let me know if I can help in any way.

Angi - posted on 10/22/2009

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Quoting Teri:

Hello, We are foster parents right now and down the road would love to adopt, but it will be a long road ahead!
I would love to talk with other people that do foster care too that are looking into adoption or have adopted! It is such a long road to wait and then find out you can or can't!! I just don't want to get hurt! We just fell in love with the girls we have at our house!



Foster care for my family has been an AMAZING experience.  My co-workers, my friends that I take tap with, my church, have all been so supportive.  One really good friend, my almost son's god mother, gave us a baby shower about a month after I got my little guy!  I even got to register for gifts.



One thing that I discovered being a foster parent is that even though the people around you tell you they wouldn't or couldn't doo what you're doing, they do admire you for doing it and are willing to help out in whatever way they can.  My eye doctor gave my son his eye exam at 6 months old.  She's part of the InfantSee program and those exams are free anyway.  I didn't know about that.  My dentist gave him a dental screening, even though he doesn't take medicaid.  Children in foster care also qualify for Head Start programs.  Since those programs are income based programs, the foster family's income doesn't matter.



 



For anyone who take infants as children in foster care, have them evaluated by your state's early intervention program.  Here in Oklahoma, the program is called Sooner Start.  I think they are called different names by other states.  If you suspect the child may have some delays, have them evaluated.  If you aren't told to do it by DHS, do it on your own if you are allowed.  Apply for WIC.  Get your children to every one of those doctor's appointments.  Something I was told I was to do with my baby was to make a Life Book.  I understood this to be a scrapbook with pictures of his life during his time with us.  I have to admit that I was hesitant about putting pictures of him and I in the book, but I decided that if he left, that I wanted to know that I loved him, too. 



I hope this helps for anyone that is in the beginning experience in being a foster parent.

Teri - posted on 10/22/2009

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Hello, We are foster parents right now and down the road would love to adopt, but it will be a long road ahead!

I would love to talk with other people that do foster care too that are looking into adoption or have adopted! It is such a long road to wait and then find out you can or can't!! I just don't want to get hurt! We just fell in love with the girls we have at our house!

Bonnie - posted on 10/21/2009

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Congrats! We are barely starting to foster. We should have our liscense by the end of the month. We also hope to be able to adopt. Sorry I can't be of any help. Just wanted to let you know I am happy for you.

Angi - posted on 10/19/2009

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Quoting Tara:

I believe the lawyer's purpose is to make sure all the Ts are crossed and the Is are dotted, if you know what I mean. The lawyer makes sure that everything is legal before finalization can occur. Having a lawyer is just one of those things that is required. Are you concerned about the cost? If you are, don't be. Our adoption attorney cost around $300 and we were reimbursed by the county after the fact. Aloha!



 



That makes sense Tara.  Actually, I was told that I wouldn't have to pay any attorney's fees, but since you mentioned that, I will double check with my adoption worker so I don't get surprised.  Yeah, I knew that about the attorney being one of those things.  I just wasn't certain what the role in state adoptions were.  Private adoptions I can certainly understand.





 

Tara - posted on 10/19/2009

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I believe the lawyer's purpose is to make sure all the Ts are crossed and the Is are dotted, if you know what I mean. The lawyer makes sure that everything is legal before finalization can occur. Having a lawyer is just one of those things that is required. Are you concerned about the cost? If you are, don't be. Our adoption attorney cost around $300 and we were reimbursed by the county after the fact. Aloha!

Angi - posted on 10/19/2009

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I became a foster parent to a little boy, right from the hospital. He was 2 weeks old when I got hom and he's now 14 months old. Parental rights were terminated in the spring. I was asked my the lawyers in the court in March if parental rights were terminated, did I want to be considered for adoption. Of course I said yes. In May I was told my the social worker that I could adopt him. I have been on that track every since. The adoption is scheduled to be finalized December 21st, One of the questions I have is the purpose of the lawyer in state agency adoptions?

Tara - posted on 10/18/2009

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Yes, Angi. We were foster-to-adopt parents. Our son was placed with us prior to his first mother's rights being terminated. It took 23 months from placement to finalization because there were bumps in the road (lawyers!), but it worked out fine. Our son's mom wasn't able to take care of him and he was removed from her care while they were still in the hospital after his birth. He has siblings who were in the foster care system as well. Please feel free to ask questions. Aloha!

Anne - posted on 10/18/2009

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Hi there! We were foster parents of our son when we were able to adopt him. We ended up adopting his two younger siblings as birthmom had them removed. They were all "legal risk" when we were their foster parents. It worked out just fine

Tara - posted on 10/18/2009

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I adopted my son from foster care six years ago, when he was 2-1/2. Feel free to email me or ask a question here. Aloha!

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