Advice on fostering to adopt

Traci - posted on 08/27/2010

Update on my case....court this week and bio-mom said that she wanted me to adopt her kids but we are arranging a post-placement agreement which just means that I will allow her to remain in the kids lives. I didn't think it was right to not do it that way since the kids know her. She is planning on getting married and having more kids so unfortunately for my kids I think they will be forgotten about. The attorneys say that TPR should go quickly on the dad's and the adoption should be final near the end of the year. How exciting!!!

Traci - posted on 06/16/2010

I know it will be worth it if it all works out....I have 4 of my own children and wanted one more girl....we started fostering May 2009. The call we received they asked us if by chance we had two beds...that made me nervous and when they told me they had these two little girls that really needed a good home how could I say no, then they hit me with oh and by the way the mom is pregnant. Needless to say I now have 3 foster kids, total of 7 children!! The mom claims she wants them back however she is not acting that way....always cancelling visits, no baby proofing her house, not keeping them safe when she is with them, not holding them. The social worker said she has to hold them way to much and the baby is constantly left in a seat. I lost custody of them for a little while to their grandma which broke my heart, however I got them back when the police had been called out to the house a couple of times with domestic violence....and during the time she had custody I thought I would get them back so I didn't take any other placements and I picked them up every to every other weekend and kept them with me....this was one of the hard times. We had a team meeting yesterday to change the case plan from reunification to adoption and the mom didn't even show up.....I hope we are coming to a close.....I don't think I could handle losing them again.

Heather - posted on 06/01/2010

I have found that my 2 adopted through foster care children are more challenging. They came with different issues, biology, etc then our birth children. Even our son that we've had since birth. You can't control what has gone on in their lives before they came to you and you don't always get to know everything about their past. It's a whole different world, but more amazing and rewarding then anything in the world! To love and grow a child in safety and know that you are making a difference is such a gift. The capacity that we have to love others is incredible, and when that child gets to stay and we do get to adopt...it is the most blessed and cherished gift! Everyday, no matter how hard or frustrating, I am grateful, thankful, joyous, and feel blessed that I get to be their mother, forever! Good luck to you as you start this journey! I hope you find it as wonderful and rewarding as we have! :-)

Lyndsay - posted on 05/27/2010

I am a mother of 3 beautiful, healthy children who were placed into our family through adoption. We have had our sturggles with our children (primarily our oldest who has some minor attachment issues).



I would say a few words of advice--first, go through social services in whatever state you're in. Going abroad is very time consuming, lots of money, and the amount of help you receive is minimal. Also, try to stick to a child under 2 years old. I have heard many wonderful, happy stories from people who adopt older children, but my 4 year old has SO many memories of her awful past, and this is what is causing attachment issues with her.



Just be ready to jump through the flaming hoops of social workers and courts. Is it worth it? Absolutely! Providing a home for a child in need is the absolute most rewarding experience...plus being a Mommy!

Karianne - posted on 05/11/2010

as long as your home is happy,healthy and loving then it would be great for a child .just remember if fostering they may not be with you forever,i think that is the hardest part.loveing them as your own but having to let them go if the courts say so is hard