ARE WE TOO OLD?

Lesley - posted on 12/07/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hello there. I am 49 and my husband is 53. We were blessed with 2 biological children who are now 29 and 26 years of age. Our third child is adopted and is 14 years old. We have always loved and enjoyed children and thought that our family was complete, yet the yearning to adopt another child was always there for me. Now we have been given the opportunity to adopt a newborn and I sit here with such mixed feelings. Can we do this again?Are we too old?Starting over?What is fair? This is probably the hardest decision we have had to make. Would be nice to get some input from other older/younger parents out there.

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5 Comments

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Marcia - posted on 01/01/2010

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I too have 2 bio kids 23 and 25 and a14 yr old adopted daughter I am 48, I guess you really need to think about where you would like to be at age 68, if you adopt a newborn the child will be 20 when you are 68, is the child a sibling of the 14 yr old ? If it were me, with my love for kids I would probably adopt the child but there is a lot to think about there, How is your and your husbands health, how long have parents/grandparents lived My grandparents lives to be in their late 80's I had a great-grandma that died at 102 yrs old so I have some longjevity in my family My parents are 75 & 71. If something were to happen to you would one of your older children be willing to care for the child? I know my daughter would take right over if something happened to me actually 7 years ago my husband was in a bad state of mind depressed no job and we had no money he lost his head on day was angry shot me and committed suicide, my kids with the hekp of family too care of their 7 yr old sister while I was in the hospital for 3 months, there is alot to consider adopting a newborn but think about thegood feeling you would have giving this child a stable loving home. It is a very hard decision and I am sure I WAS NO help at all. good luck pray about it god will give you the right answer

Diane - posted on 12/29/2009

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If you have a chance to make a inpact on a childs life do it any one can die at any time that is why it is inportant to have a backup plan for your children like if one of your older children would be willing to take the children if anything should happen to you and your husband. I hope I can make a inpact on a child until the day that I die.

Audre - posted on 12/12/2009

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Hi Lesley. If you are healthy and active, I think you should go ahead and adopt if that's where your heart leads you. I'm 52 years old and have 2 daughters, 6 and 7 years old. My husband and I also have a new adopted son, who is 4 months old. We are foster parents to two young girls, also. Even though the 5 children tire me out, my 30 something year old friends say the same thing about their young children. I would rather be busy, letting them keep me active, than not having the opportunity to do this. I have no regrets and I'm enjoying my young children a lot. I'm friends with lots of really young moms because of the age of my young school children, but that's good, too. My age doesn't bother me, and my friends are in a wide age range.

Bonnie - posted on 12/10/2009

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My opinion is that as long as you feel it is something you can do then go for it. I was adopted by my parents when they were very close to your age. I am now between 35-40 and I am very greatful that my parents took me and my sister in and cared for us and loved us. We had a wonderful childhood. Sometimes we would be alittle embarrased as to the age of our parents but in the end it was a true gift to be adopted by these two wonderful people. My dad has passed away and I miss him everyday I thank God everyday that they were brave enough to adopt us.

Paulette - posted on 12/09/2009

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Hi Lesley. I adopted my great neices from foster care last year, and they are now 3 and 4 years old. I also have two biological children who are 34 and 21 as well as 4 grandchildren and a 5th grandchild on the way. It isn't easy raising children at a later age,(I just turned 56) but I love those girls so much and they make me feel so much younger. If you have a strong support group anything is possible and you will know in your heart if it is the right decision for you. I wish you the very best, and let God guide you in your decision.

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