How hard is the adoption process?

Jess - posted on 07/09/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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i have a 3 yr old foster son,who i would really love to adopt,he is my nephew but sees me as mum,both his parents are no hopers,and would never get him in thier custody again.except i dnt think they would consent to me adopting him!wat do u think my chances are?

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Julie - posted on 07/12/2009

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Well I dont know your entire story but in my case, the state has "encouraged" my sister in law and her deadbeat boyfriend to terminate their own rights, with the threats and beginning action to term. their rights in a trial.
This all just happened about 3 months ago, and our DCF caseworker thinks it MAY be a done deal *the adoption* around Christmas time. So, about 8 months if all goes well. They are now going thru the process to officially seperate my neice from her bio brother and sister. (my another father, who now has custody of them)

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that's hard to say. it's different from state to state, and from case to case. Is he in your care because DSS removed him from the home? If so, enlist their help. If not, contact a lawyer. Good luck and God Bless.

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Teres - posted on 07/16/2009

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If you are unable to get the parents to release custody of the child you have to get the state to. Once the state has PC of the child it will still go one of what feels like forever. Not knowing your relationship with the parents I could only assume that is would always be the easiest route. My husband has been trying, I do mean trying to adopt my sone for over 2 years now......it's never ending. Sons father gave up his parental rights over a year....... we finally have a court date this august...... 2 years after the fact. Be patient and know that you are doing the right thing no matter how long it takes.

Beverly - posted on 07/13/2009

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If you have had the child for an extended period of time and he views you as his mother. The case workers will take that into consideration when the rights of the parents are officially terminated. The parents will have no say in who has the child at that point. If he is used to you, more than likely he will remain with you.

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It sounds like you love your niece, and want her to be your daughter. Get the authorities on your side, talk to the case managers deciding her case, and you should have first chance to adopt her since you are a bio relative. I'll be praying for you.

Julie - posted on 07/12/2009

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Well I guess you hit the nail on the head, I am angry with my sil she has had ample time to get her act together and she continues to act irresponsibly. The children were removed in 2004 for 18 mos. She did get them back at that time though. Then they were removed again in July of 07. It's been 2 yrs this month.Their are 3 children, 2 of them went to live with their bio father about 12 mos ago. But I had them for a year this time as well. I get frustrated cause it seems like she could care less how her decisions effect the entire family, especially her own children. I am friendly with the older 2's bio father and he brings them to family functions... so at least they get to see each other.  As far as the father of the little one tha tI still have custody of, he has only seen her once in her 4 yrs of life, he has never been responsible for her and he actually left the state. He is a deadbeat... He has already signed over his rights tho.. as has SIL.I do however feel that I was meant to be a mother my nicee though... Sorry to highjack the thread! but I felt like you could maybe benefit somehow from my story.





Quoting Debbi:





Quoting Julie:

Well I dont know your entire story but in my case, the state has "encouraged" my sister in law and her deadbeat boyfriend to terminate their own rights, with the threats and beginning action to term. their rights in a trial.
This all just happened about 3 months ago, and our DCF caseworker thinks it MAY be a done deal *the adoption* around Christmas time. So, about 8 months if all goes well. They are now going thru the process to officially seperate my neice from her bio brother and sister. (my another father, who now has custody of them)






It sounds like you're angry and bitter about what's going on with your niece, and I'm very sorry to hear that.  How long has your sister in laws children been in foster care?  In our state, the bio parents have 1-2 years to get their act together so they can get their children back.  If the parents (and I noticed you called the boyfriend a deadbeat) grow up and do right by their children, there would be no termination of parental rights.  And as far as seperating your niece from her brother and sister, if other members of the bio family step up, the girl would probably go to them first.  Or if the adoption is a done deal, try making friends with the new parents.  Our adopted daughter still talks to her brother and sister who were each adopted by other families, including bio families.  It may be hard on your family, but basically, what is best for the niece is what needs to be done.





 

[deleted account]

Quoting Julie:

Well I dont know your entire story but in my case, the state has "encouraged" my sister in law and her deadbeat boyfriend to terminate their own rights, with the threats and beginning action to term. their rights in a trial.
This all just happened about 3 months ago, and our DCF caseworker thinks it MAY be a done deal *the adoption* around Christmas time. So, about 8 months if all goes well. They are now going thru the process to officially seperate my neice from her bio brother and sister. (my another father, who now has custody of them)



It sounds like you're angry and bitter about what's going on with your niece, and I'm very sorry to hear that.  How long has your sister in laws children been in foster care?  In our state, the bio parents have 1-2 years to get their act together so they can get their children back.  If the parents (and I noticed you called the boyfriend a deadbeat) grow up and do right by their children, there would be no termination of parental rights.  And as far as seperating your niece from her brother and sister, if other members of the bio family step up, the girl would probably go to them first.  Or if the adoption is a done deal, try making friends with the new parents.  Our adopted daughter still talks to her brother and sister who were each adopted by other families, including bio families.  It may be hard on your family, but basically, what is best for the niece is what needs to be done.

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