Tara - posted on 03/29/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )
I adopted my son when he was 2-1/2 years old. He's 8 now. It's just the two of us now that my husband and I have divorced, and my son and I talk openly about adoption and his first mother, etc. There are no secrets...about adoption, anyway! ;) Adoption language is part of his everyday vocabulary.
A few days ago my son and I were at his day camp waiting for his performance to start. There was a Caucasian woman there with two little African-American girls on her lap. She said hi to my son and they talked for a moment. Apparently there had been an earlier conversation (the woman told me about it) and it went something like this:
Sean: Are they yours?
Sean: Is their dad brown?
Woman: No. They're adopted. They're from Africa.
My son is very interested in younger children, particularly babies, and approaches people with children all the time. So it wasn't odd that he started a conversation with this woman; it was just kind of strange how it evolved. I apologized to the woman and told her that I hoped she wasn't offended and she said, "Oh, no! Of course not. He's very friendly." That eased my mind a bit, but I was hoping she wasn't just being kind and really meant what she said. My son is of mixed race but looks more Caucasian than anything else. We live in Hawaii where most of his classmates have darker skin than he does and he has never really made much of it, so I was surprised that he realized the differences between this woman and her children so easily. (I guess that's naive of me.)
Anyway, if my son had approached YOU in this way, what would your reactions be?