Foster children to be adopted

Lisa - posted on 05/17/2012

I had four sibling in my home for a year and a half..ages 4mo, 2,3,4.. I got very bonded to the youngest one and wanted to adopt her..but knew in my heart it was not right to separate the siblings..even though I would make sure to keep in touch with the other siblings..I loved them all and was having a hard time with our decision of letting them go or adopt all four..I had a social worker that worked with me...step in and say if I let them go she will adopt them and promised to let us be a apart of their family..I was soo thrilled! She said we can visit anytime..I thought this would be great and just blend in as two families that would be their forever connection and family..Well this was not the case..Our social worker once the children were place changed her attitude and told me I can not see the youngest one until she is placed with her for six months..I did not want the children to feel abandonded..by us and told her this is wrong..we need to just blend..It has been a nightmare for us all! How can this happen?? It has been over two months she is back to work as a social worker putting all kids in daycare, and preschool:(

Brenda - posted on 10/22/2010

we have 2 kids now.there brother and sister.we got the call one day only after 2 hours after having our other set being placed back into there family care. the other foster family had some health problems and needed them gone that day. we had had them for abou 2 months when i got a call from the first foster mom about having the kids over for the weekend for a birthday party and it was ok by the case worker...we agreed. HOWEVER never again. they thought they were moving back .it was hard to explain they were only going for a week end. and when they came back they were wondering why. She allowed them to stay up till way late. they came back very tired. cranky. sassy. started to back talk not play well together. it totally sucks for foster kids to go from home to home. stranger to stranger. its hard for the foster family. we try to plan trips and have to go through the courts to get the ok. mom is very much in the picture 3 in person visits a week and 4 phone calls a week. every day they talk to her in some way.

Cindy - posted on 09/03/2010

I fostered a baby from the age of 1mo old until he was 10 mo. old. We transitioned him into his forever family & it fell through within 3 mo. I tried desperately to get the state to let me foster him again. They would never return my phone calls, my husband even went up there to speak to the director. Anyway, I never did get him back, he was given to a brand new foster family within a week. They went on to adopt him & then a baby brother the next year. The adoptive Mom would not even talk to me or let me see him. I was heartbroken. I should have adopted him, & would have had my husband agreed.

Annette - posted on 03/12/2009

Thanks, Yes as I said earlier, TPR was scheduled for March 6th well that didn't happen so it is another month and ahalf to go again.. so this could take a very long time......  Awesome to you and congratulations on getting the boys.....

Margie - posted on 03/12/2009

We are in the process of transitioning two boys into our home from another foster home for permanent placement. At first, their foster parents had to reassure them that they would still be part of their lives. That was all it took for them. They've been telling everyone that they're getting a new mom and dad, and they're going to live with them forever. Plus, their worker got them into counseling to help with the transition and the loss of bio family. (They've been in care 4 1/2 years, and rights still aren't terminated yet.) I think in some cases, the kids are so happy to know where they are going to grow up and have that security and stability.

Annette - posted on 02/09/2009

Yes the TPR was pushed out now to March 6th so we haven't gone yet.  The little girl is 6 and the little boy is 4.  We were only wanting to adopt one child right now especially since last month my husband was laid off and I work for Sprint and will know if I have a job next month or not.  We are kind of putting adoption on the back burner until we're back on our feet.  

Jennifer - posted on 02/09/2009

Hi, I personally adopted 3 of my foster sons. Then I made the personal decision not to adopt any more, to just foster. I had a little girl for 3 years that just moved in July with her new adoptive family. It was a very long, slow process due to her age. The social workers did a wonderful job with the transition. Although this was the hardest time yet for me and my family, it is also wonderful to see her with her new family and how much they love each other already is amazing.

You said that the TPR hearing is in a couple of weeks. I just want you to know from my experiences that this type of hearing can take awhile to accomplish. It is not always easy to terminate and the parents can appeal. I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't happen.

How old are the children? How long have you been a foster parent? Hope to hear from you and Good luck.

Annette - posted on 01/15/2009

Thank you, my kiddos are 6 and 4.. It's amazing how rezilliant they are though going from one house to another.. the little boy who is 4 I think will have the harder time.

Melissa - posted on 01/05/2009

As termination progresses and possible placements are tested.....be positive. You will have a harder time letting them go than anyone can ever imagine. How old are these children? Age depends on what my husband and I do or say to these children. Good luck!!

Katie - posted on 01/04/2009

It should be a gradual prosess. There should be meeting times set up with a potential adoptive home first. The people should be able to meet the kids and spend some time with them so the kids get to know them first. They dont just say your outta here and bring them to a new family.