HELLO!!

Amy - posted on 06/23/2009

Hi, I'm a relative caregiver for my niece and nephew in WA state. We've had them 2 years and 3 months. Laws here require a resolution within 12 months but this one has gone on and on. The mother doesn't have very good parenting skills, is only working enough to pay half of her rent (our parents pay the rest) and will probably never work hard enough to financially support her children. Despite that she's been drug free for 2 years now and they can't legally term her rights. So they are transitioning over the next 3 weeks back to her. We've been trying to get licensed as foster parents but it's so slow! We've been in the process for 9 months now. It's been interesting to watch the process. It's been frustrating and rewarding all at the same time. We look forward to continuing in foster care if we ever get through the licensing process.
Blessings in Christ,
Amy

Jennifer - posted on 06/21/2009

Welcome Cheryl! A CASA is a court appointed special advocate for the kids and they spend time with the foster children in both environments (the foster family and bio family) and also time with the children alone. I know in Arizona their report has a heavy weight with the judge since they are an independent party to the case. How long have you been a foster parent? Hope that helps!!

Cheryl - posted on 06/19/2009

Hi, I'm a FM in Jax. FL. I'm 56 and have 3 foster angels at this time, ages 1.5, 2.5 and 5 years. I have no plans to adopt, my bio kids are in their mid 30's and I have 5 terrific grands, 10 months-13 years. I am trying to learn more about the court system so I can be the best advocate for my babies. I am very interested in CASA. Can you give me more info? Thanks, Cheryl aka Mema

Stephanie - posted on 04/16/2009

Hi Jennifer! SO nice to hear from you. Yes, I have maintained the relationship with the mommy of my first sibling group. We keep in contact by email, which is nice. We have been able to go to their birthday parties, their moms wedding, meet at the park to play, and they even have come to the house and spend the night with us. I absolutley LOVE it! It is so awesome to see their mom doing better and the kids growing and thriving. The little boy, who was two when we had him and is not three, has called us "foster mommy" and "foster daddy" since going home. When we were just there for his sister's birthday, he called my daughter "foster Korrie"! So cute!

I am so sorry you have had to go through your sudden loss. This is a very tough, but rewarding ministry, and we cannot walk forward in it without our LORD! Bless you and just remember that HE is working it all out!

Blessings,

~Stephanie

Jennifer - posted on 04/16/2009

Welcome Stephanie! I two have two biological children and my first set of foster boys went back to their Mom and I enjoyed working with her. It was difficult though because her parenting skills are still not very good, but I tried to give her advice. She just had another child and I went to the hospital to see her and the new baby. Have you been able to maintain relationships with birth familiemy s when they go back home? I just lost 6 year old foster daughter suddenly- she was in CA on a visit with her grandparents and two sisters and we went to court for an initial severence hearing and she was ordered to stay in CA. I get along great with the CA family members, so I'll still be able to have contact with her and see how her case resolves, but I miss her. I knew eventually she'd leave but we thought there would be a transistion period. It's hard packing up her stuff- I"m sending her a box of certain things today.

Stephanie - posted on 04/16/2009

Hi ladies! I have my own two kiddos (11ys and 7yrs) whom I homeschool and we have 2 girls with us currently. They are sisters, 1 and 2 yrs old. We have had them since December. I am so excited to have the opportunity to work with their mom. The caseworker just asked me to start supervising visits, and I am praising God for this opportunity. My husband and I have a desire to see our children go back to their parents (if possible) and that is what happened with the last sibling group we had. I am now thankful to have the opportunity to be in birthmoms life and help her and encourage her to get her girls back. God is good and HIS ways are perfect.

I also want to mention that I work from home too, so if any of you are interested, I would love to take 30 minutes of your time and give you more information! You can email me at jnswafer@yahoo.com, or request more information at http://www.thefreedomunitedteam.com/SW12...

I love hearing for other foster moms!

Blessings,

~Stephanie

Becky - posted on 04/11/2009

Hi, My name is Becky. My husband and I have been working with kids for over 15 years (as juvenile probation officers, as a social worker for kids with mental illness, and in a residential treatment center). We've been doing foster care for almost 5 years. We live in Wisconsin and are considered a "transition" foster home (not a long term foster home). We have the kids for approximately 6 months where they are transitioning from a group home or treatment center, back into the community. They either "make it" while living with us and go to their parent's home, or they remain in long-term foster care, or to a group home, etc.  We take in boys 10-18 years old. We also have a 5 year old biological child.

It's a challenge most days as the transition foster kids we get in our home often have mental health issues and delinquency problems. We also started our own mentoring business where we mentor kids, facilitate groups for youth and have "Day Services" for kids who are suspended from school or have partial day school programming. My husband and I always say, "This is who we are not what we do"...in that we love working with kids and can't see ourselves doing anything else.

Great job to all you foster parents...you are all amazing individuals...Keep fighting the "good fight" and being there for these wonderful children!

Ginger - posted on 03/12/2009

Hi! I am a foster mom in Illinois. We have three foster children (2, 4, 8). The 4 year old was our first and he has been quite a challenge. He tries all kinds of strategies to get attention and he has emotional and social problems as well. He is such an amazing child under all that baggage. The other two are very different. They are siblings and are much more compliant. The 2 year old has some cognitive and linguistic delays but with stimulation is improving daily. We have hard days but we have lots of wonderful days too!

Melissa - posted on 12/01/2008

I am so sorry to hear about some of the troubles those of you in other states are having. We have had children go home when everyone involved knew it was the wrong thing to do. But despite all of that I LOVE BEING A FOSTER MOM...granted we have adopted 5 of our children and are getting to adopt our 1 year old soon. Hang in there. Happy Holidays to all!!!!! MELISSA

Donna - posted on 12/01/2008

Hi I am a foster carer in England,Yorkshire, I have been fostering for nearly 6 years now and mostly foster babies, with us now we have a 21month old which we have had her since she was 1 day old, she is due to leave us in Feb:-( not looking forward to that day.We also have a baby boy who is nearly 5 months now, we have had him since 4 weeks old he was a withdrawing baby, but is doing really well now. I also have 3 children of my own one at 16, 1 at 13 and one 10 on Wed. So a very busy household. Look forward to hearing back from some more foster carers soon, Bye for now Donnaxx

Jennifer - posted on 11/24/2008

Welcome Lisa! I agree that sometimes it seems the system works more for the parents than for the kids. My sister-in-law had two boys over 2 years and they ended up going back home, which really wasn't the best for them. How long have you been doing foster care? I've had 3 cases so far, but all of them have been reunification. We have court tomorrow on our current case.

Lisa - posted on 11/24/2008

I'm a foster/adoptive mom in PA. The parents here supposedly have 12 consecutive months to get it together before they move for right termination. I say supposedly because I have my one foster son for over 2 years and they still haven't terminated. They just filed for it, but the lawyer didn't think he'd win so refused to take it to the judge. So now we are looking at legal custody. It can be very frustrating. The system is designed for the parents rather than the welfare of the kids.

Annette - posted on 11/17/2008

In Kansas the goal is to be integrated back home in a year. Sometimes they get more depending on the progress and other (legal things) but the norm is a year and sometimes less if there is no attempt at all depending on what the judge rules. I think Foster Parents and Foster to Adopt parents are awesome to give so much time for these kids.. even if they do go back home at least they saw what a family should be and hopefully will remember us when they get older...

Melissa - posted on 11/17/2008

In Iowa, parents have a short time to get themselves all back together before they terminate the rights to the children. Then the children are up for adoption. There are over 130,000 children in the US in foster care. Congratulations to all of you for helping these children. They all need a place to go and know that they are loved.

Janine - posted on 11/16/2008

Hi, I am a foster carer in Australia, sounds like our system is very different over here, these children r not up for adoption and usually still have access visits with their parents and possibly other family members. Our 3 yr old has bn here since she was 8mths old and was to stay for 6wks, so we were pretty careful about getting attached for a long time, she has other siblings also in care, her teenage sister lived with us till recently she has moved in with her brothers and their carer.This family are now under guardianship till they are 18, but you just never know. I have 4 older daughters who also love her very much she is a part of us, but has a lot of other people who have a say in her life. Here we are not supposed to have more than 3 foster children in our care, hence many many families split up!How does the sysem work over there?

Melissa - posted on 11/12/2008

I totally understand how hard it is to give them back, especially when you know it is not good. Just stay strong and you will make it through. You can always post something if you need to talk.

Jennifer - posted on 11/12/2008

Hi everyone! I am a foster Mom is Arizona. We've had our license a little over a year. We have two biological girls - ages 10 and 11. Our first case was two girls, but only for a week, then we got the boys - ages 2 and 6months and I found out how different boys are than girls!! We had them 11 months and they were reunified with their Mom. It's been alittle difficult because although she is drug -free she does not have good parenting skills and she proceeded to get pregnant again by a 3rd guy who wasn't supposed to be around the boys. I stay in touch with her, but not too often. It's too hard to think about what the little one is going through because she never bonded with him. Currently we have a 6 year old little girl who was removed from her grandparents (who raised her since 4 months of age, but never had legal custody). I think in a few months she will probably be going back to them. The hardest thing for me is giving them back to a bad environment.

Jana - posted on 11/09/2008

Hi I am a foster mom of 2 beautiful children age 3 and 17 and I am in Alberta Canada! I have been fostering for 2yrs 5m. I have my first placement still with me, got him at 8m old and he is pgo. I love fostering so much. I have 3 of my own children plus a step son and so we are a total of 6 kids. I enjoy it so much, hats off to all the foster parents out there!

Melissa - posted on 11/07/2008

I totally understand not being able to keep the kids that you have cared for. It is tough sending them home, but working and making all of the appointments, visits, etc. is very hard. I just quit my job in February to stay home. That is when we knew we would be adopting our 7 year old and twin 5 year olds. We then got the baby and we knew it was best for me to stay home. We do not have any biological children, which is what helped us make our decision to become foster parents. WOW in 5 years we now have 6 children. I am glad to hear from another foster mom. Sometimes I find myself in a rut and just need to know who to ask about different things...since I found this site I will start sending things out. Hope to talk to you again soon. Thank you!!!

Annette - posted on 11/07/2008

Hi Melissa, I am a Foster to Adopt/Resource mom from KS with KVC. I am a working Foster mom which really causes problems sometimes trying to get to appts, work taking off.. etc., I have a 6 year old girl a 4 year old boy who are siblings and has some challenging behaviors but I think they're getting better...they've been with us for a little over a month now and then my own child. These kids will be available for adoption but we probably won't be the ones adopting them, I think they need a stay at home mom wiht all the trauma they've had in their life that would be the best thing for them. They're beautiful kids...and is going to be very difficult when they leave. I do know what a CASA is that's great....