Child with ADHD, ODD, & RAD

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

Hello..
I need help.
I am fostering my beautiful, highly troubled 11 yr old niece. She has been stealing from me, her teacher (got caught going in purse), and her therapist (took his phone right off his desk and hid it), and will lie looking straight in your eyes. Also, she has destroyed property of mine & my husband's. This last theft propted the clinic she goes to, to call social services. All of a sudden, I am dealing with charges of neglect, all because the social worker @ the clinic came to the conclusion of "She must have stolen to eat" WHAT!?! Well, we passed that visit w/flying colours. As we should. She may not get the food she wants all the time, but oh boy does she eat! At this same clinic every month, they weigh & measure her. She is always gaining pounds & inches.
See, I love my niece. And, I want for her to live a productive life. I am starting to believe that this may not be the right place for her. She has been diagnosed with ADHD, O.D.D, & RAD. Maybe I can not be objective like I need to be w/her? I am in New Orleans and need support. I am not going to believe I am giving up on her.. She needs more than we are able to give her.
Thanks in advance for any input is welcomed & greatly appreciated! :o)

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2 Comments

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Sherry Faulkner - posted on 07/08/2014

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Wow, I am in the same boat as you are. Little A is only 5 years old with ADHD & RAD and Pika we are her 5th placement and have had her just over two years. We have had Theraplay and counseling for the last year and the attention seeking behavior just gets worse. There are no strangers to her, she once climbed on the lap of an old man sitting at wal mart and started licking his hand. We have had some very scary moments over the last two years. We often feel we are not the best place for her, we have her younger 1/2 sister and don't know if we could forgive ourselves if we give up on A. She has been very self destructive over the past two years, picking, pulling hair out, scratching anything to say "look at me" and is now showing more aggression. We are scared of what she will do to herself and others when those teen years hit. We can't get a break because other foster parents and caseworkers will no longer watch her because of this behavior. We have used all family resources and are extremely frustrated with our agency. Have you found any resources to help?

Belinda - posted on 01/30/2014

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Im sorry you are going through the exact same thing as I am with an 11 year
old girl that we have joint managing conservator. Your story is almost word for word what I am going through also. I hate the fact no one has given you any advice. I have tried group homes because Brittany needs more help than I can give her also. She lies to my face. Even cries and says why are you blaming me. She hides car keys when you make her mad. She steals. She takes control of the classroom at school. Its absolutely exhausting! Hope someone will reach out to us and help us help these kids.

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