feelings towards the parents

April - posted on 11/09/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

7

3

0

do any of you who are raising your grandchildren feel resentment towards the parents for not "stepping up"?and what do u do/think about feeling that way?

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

11 Comments

View replies by

Mary - posted on 06/09/2010

36

2

2

I don't hate my son, I love him very much. I would NEVER talk bad about my grandson's parents in front of him...even when they drive me crazy. It just makes the child feel bad about himself. I try to keep a relationship open between him and his parents, which is mainly through letters and phone calls as both their prisons are far from my house.



Honestly, I probably would have ended up with my grandson even if they hadn't gone to prison. His mother neglected him from the minute he was born and screamed & cussed at him for crying when he was 2 weeks old. I know my son, at 16, couldn't have raised him on his own.



I love having this child in my life and in my home. I don't know what I'd do without him. But he has changed our entire lives. We had planned to retire early in the next 5 years and travel around the country in an RV. Now I'm a stay at home mom and retirement is just a pipe dream for my husband. We'd do it again in a heartbeat though! We need this little one in our lives just as much as he needs us.



Nothing heals a heart like baby smiles!

Velma - posted on 04/26/2010

4

21

0

God Bless You. When u think u have problems there is always someone in a worser situation. I give u all praise for taking care of parents. That's hard I know.But a far as for your daughter. Please believe me if it was me. If I knew where she was. I would personally deliver her kids to her. Then she can see what kind of so called boyfriend she got.

Velma - posted on 04/26/2010

4

21

0

YES!!! Because I feel I have raised mine.I love them dearly but I should NOT have to raise thiers too. I ask GOD to give me the strength daily. But I been doing it off and on for 16yrs. We deserve to live our life. But He knows best. Tired would love to just sit back and enjoy life.

Victoria - posted on 04/09/2010

12

18

1

My husband and I are raising 3 granddaughters on a limited budget while their parents go to casinos ,go on vacation and don't pay a single penny towards the girls care. I frequently feel resentment when we can't go on a romantic cruise,can go out to eat without them.All our friends have fallen by the wayside as they like grandchildren they can spoil and then send home. I know I shouldn't feel this way but it is hard not to.

Wendy - posted on 03/26/2010

6

0

1

I resented them in the beginning for not stepping up but after 7 1/2 years I resent them having parental rights after they have done nothing. I have had my grandchild since birth or at least at 1 month after she got out of the hospital from withdrawing from herion.. I have just filed for adoption. My son signed the papers but the mother won't as she is in rehap AGAIN and feels she will get herself together and be a part of her life. She has not seen or contacted her for 2 1/2 years. So I will proceed with adoption and my grandchild is thrilled. It tears my granchild apart when her mother waltzes in her life every 2 years or so only to relapse and leave again.

Phyllis - posted on 03/16/2010

6

21

1

HI MARY, I DO UNDERSTAND WERE YOUR COMING FROM. MY SON IS 34 YOURS OLD NOW AND A FAMILY OF HIS OWN, IS DAD DID THE SAME THING TO HIM WALKED AWAY.... I FOUND ANOTHER MAN WHO ADOTED MY SON A RAISED HIM... WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS MY SON DOES NOT ASK ABOUT HIS BIO DAD...HE'LL TELL YOU HE HAS A DAD THAT LOVES HIM VERY MUCH... HIS BIO DAD IS THE ONE WHO LOST OUT, AND MISSED EVERY THING HE EVER DID IN HIS LIFE AND ALL THE GRANDKIDS HE HAS... WE JUST LOVE OUR GRAND BABYS WITH ALL OUR HEART AND SOUL... AND BE THERE FOR EVERY ? THEY WILL HAVE AND ANDSWER IT THE BEST WAY WE CAN WITH WHAT INFO WE HAVE AT HAND... I NEVER BAD MOUTH HIS DAD, OR GAVE HIM FALSE INFO...I FOUND OUT JUST TO TEACH THEM NOT TO HATE ARE DISLIKE SOME ONE THAT THEY DON'T KNOW. LIFES HARD ENOGHT WITHOUT THE EXTRA WEIGHT OF HATE...LET THEM KNOW FOR WHAT EVER REASON THEIR PARENTS LOVE THEM IN THERE OWN WAYS...LIFE IS TO SHORT TO BE MAD AT SOME ONE WHO WE THINK HAS DONE WRONG ARE WE DON'T LIKE WHAT CHOOSES THEY HAVE MADE. CLOSE THAT DOOR AND OPEN A DOOR THAT OUR GRAND BABYS WILL WANT TO FOLLOW BE CAUSE YOU AND I HAVE TOUGHT THEM NOT TO HATE.... THIS WORLD WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER.

Mary - posted on 03/16/2010

36

2

2

I resent the hell out of my son and his girlfriend! First they became pregnant at 15 & 16 yrs old. When the baby was born I had them all living in my home to help them with the baby as the baby's other grandma had just had a baby of her own. When they couldn't follow the few, basic, simple rules I set down for them they decided to run away & commit a major crime. Now they are both in prison for the next 40 yrs.



I don't resent my grandson and I love having him with me. BUT....I looked forward to being a grandmother, the one to spoil him and send him home. Now I have to be the one to teach him, discipline him and care for him 24/7. I would do it again in a heartbeat but I shouldn't HAVE to.



I resent the fact that my precious baby boy has to grow up with two parents in prison. I resent the fact that his parents cared so little for him that they abandoned him at 2 1/2 months old. I resent the fact that one day he will realize all this and I will be the one to have to pick up the pieces of his little broken heart.



I do NOT resent having my grandson live with me and be raised by me. I love him more than life itself! I will always do anything I possibly can for this little one....but I can't protect him from the hurt and confusion his parents have put on him. And I resent that!!

Phyllis - posted on 11/29/2009

6

21

1

hi beth, it's okay to cry!!! it washes the soul...when our grandbabys grow up and face their mother's. it will be on their shoulders to tell the babys why they did what they did. it will be you and i that will dry their eyes and help them to understand.

Phyllis - posted on 11/29/2009

6

21

1

some times i do. but looking at the life my daughter is lived and is still living, our grandson is better of here with us../ he has a sister , two brothers, and one on the way, none of the kids know each other...not by our choose but their mothers. all we can do is to make sure our grandson's life is full of happiness, love, and fun. he's doing real good growning like a weed and is smart as a tack... we love our daughter more than life its self. but her chooses our her own...she living that life right now...you see i'm her step mom,she's 23 now, her dad and i rasied her from 6 months old...now she's has found her bio) mom and finding out she's not all that she thought she was. i've talk we her mom for about a month, and via the internet, after talking come to find out any thing and every thing thats wrong in my daughters life is on me....its okay because i know in my heart i rasied her right. her mothers side wants to blame someone for her ways i'm easiest.

Bridget - posted on 11/28/2009

2

11

1

When you have a "mom" that just drops her kids off and leaves them for her boyfriend and doesn't look back (especially when that "mom" is your daughter). She is just plain SORRY! Then she wants sympathy from people that don't know the whole story. YES! I AM RESENTFUL! I'm not only raising my grandkids, which I love dearly and wouldn't have any other way, but I'm also taking care of my elderly Mother and her husband. Talk about tired.

Beth - posted on 11/10/2009

12

20

3

I resent the fact that when I should finally be living my life I am raising another child but the resentment is to my daughter not the baby...Now that Jason and I are close and he thinks of me as his mom she tends to push the new baby in my face and demand I tend to him also...I love kids don't get me wrong, I would have to after having raised 5 boys and a girl but I am tired....and sometimes wish I had more time for myself....I feel guilty for feeling this way and often cry over it but I just remember where this little guy would be without me in his life...

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms