small kids and age appropriateness

Clair - posted on 03/26/2009

i know what you mean my 7 year old is the size of my 4 yr old and at school the kids mollicuddle her she hates it and i have to remember shes nearly 8 and give her a bit of independence which i find hard as she looks so small and she acts alot younger due to learning delay

Allison - posted on 01/28/2009

michelle, it looks like you're more in the same situation as me than anybody else i've been able to find! everybody's kids are so much older than mine that i don't have a lot of the issues that they're talking about & dealing with. here's our story...



kelcey will be 1 sun, she weighs 13.5lb & is 26in tall (they're even close in size!). like you say, she is a very good eater. i have made both of my kids' food from the start & they both love a wide variety of any & everything! you can read some of my previous posts & see that my son had a similar story but he is now 32mo & 37in tall & weighs 28lb. he is still fairly low on the wt (around 20%) but up to 75% on ht!



kelcey has had a thyroid study, sweat test, chemistry (i think he was trying to make sure i was being honest about what she eats by looking at electrolytes), & a 72hr cal ct. all came back negative & everything looks good. his next step is wanting to do an ugi to check the "size of her stomach" & send us to an endocrinologist. i'm against either one because i'm not at the point of being interested in growth hormones & exactly what are we going to do if her stomach is small?! i think that we are at the end of testing for a while.



i have the advantage of being a pediatric rn & knowing what is going on but some of the comments i get are hard. people are so impressed with how "advanced" & "petite" she is. when my son was small, granted not as small as she is, everybody either though something was wrong with him or that i didn't feed him! everybody is impressed when they see our kids eat though!



what state do you live in? even though i'm a nurse i don't know the legalities, my priority is caring for my patients. nothing has been said to me but of course i have worked with the dr i use forever which is awkward in & of itself! i told him that the only testing i would agree to was non-invasive & i haven't told him yet that we're not doing anymore bloodwork. i would agree to as much as you're comfortable with & see how it goes. if everything comes up negative i don't see how they can threaten you. is he meeting milestones appropriately? rachael is right, if he eats & everything's going & staying down, a feeding tube is going to do nothing! good luck!

Rachael - posted on 01/28/2009

Wow Michelle, that is tough.

Has he always been small?  We are considering the feeding tube with J, but he doesn't like to eat. A feeding tube isn't going to help if he is actually eating.

I personally would have tests run (within reason), to rule out anything major. The problem we are having is that J is now 4 (he has always been small and happy), but he is old enough to realize how much smaller he is than kids his age. He can't do a lot of the same thigns they can, becasue of his size. Kids like ours are so much smaller than others, and it makes it hard for them as they get older.

Michelle - posted on 01/28/2009

hello

my son will be 1 in 18 days, he only weighs 14 lbs and is 27inches tall.He is very skinny but healthy and very happy. The Dr. wants to run all kinds of test and  we are going to a GI dr on the 10th they are saying if he doesn't gain any weight by then we are going to have to put a feeding tube in him ,but he eats!! what is the big deal that my kid is not  on the growth chart hes happy and healthy and meeting all of his milestones.they say that if I don't do these test on him it is considered medical neglect and will take him from me!

what should I do? 

Rachael - posted on 01/27/2009

He is scheduled for 8 Am, the first appt of the day. I am not to worried about the not eating thing, he can go days without food...

I guess it is just getting harder, because he is beginning to realize how he doesn't really fit it

Christina - posted on 01/26/2009

Rachael...   I just want to cry ..  I know exactly how u feel ...    Megan gets soooooo sensitive ...   At the park, at a birthday party ,  anywhere...   just bursts into tears...   and people look at me like i have some waco kid..   They just dont understand ..    the little things that every other kid can do, ours cant and nothing anyone can say will make it better..  Nothing anyone can do can make it easier ..    There are days I just get so upset for Megan that I cry  and cry ..    On the other hand    there are times when she just gets nasty ..  I mean really nasty ...    I dont know which is worse..      I think her being nasty is a defense mechanisim ..     but  no one else gets it .... 

The GH testing is harder on us than the kid..     Megan was a champ   ..  It was  a 4 hr blood test ..     FYI   schedual it as early in the am as u can ..    he wont be able to eat ...  until after the test..    Tehy put a iv in Megan's arm   gave her some med's throu the iv   to stimulate the hormone ..     and then the nurse came in every 30 min and took her blood ..     The hospital was great tho ..  she had tv to watch    books    games..      then half way throu there is more medicine ..   this time she had to drink it ..  which makes it worse  cuz now she is starving ..  and another hour and a half .. to go..      once its over she ate  ..  I suggest bringing a cooler  bag with some food    so he can eat   as soon as its done ..            When we left the hospital that day ..  Megan asked me    "Am I gonna grow now ??"     It took everything in me not to break down and bawl...      

Rachael - posted on 01/25/2009

I had a really hard time last night.,..  instead of getting upset all over again as I type it out... I am going to copy my blog entry over here, because it so defined exactly what this thread is about...

Some days it just hits me that my child doesn't really fit it, and it makes me so sad.

Tonight we went to a friends' birthday party. The little boy was turning 3. J was by far the oldest one there, and also the smallest, aside from a few babies under 10 months old (and that 10 month old was catching up)..

Instead of playing with the other kids, he went and played by himself in the corner. He wanted nothing to do with them. At one point they were just running around, and D talked J into running too. Within a minute, I find in in another room, laying on a chair crying. I picke dhim up and asked his what was wrong... his reply was "I don't run so well, i can't keep up"... I thought i was going to cry.

The older kids went downstairs to play, and D took J down. He cried and wanted to come back upstairs away from the other kids. He sat at the table with them, and refused to eat anything. Birthday cake time rolls around, he takes one bite, then cries his tummy hurts. By then he was crying begging to leave.

My heart was breaking the entire time.

Now we are home... He cried because D put his socks on wrong (how that happens I have no idea)... then he cried, because his song on his toothbrush wasn't working right, now as we are getting him to drink milk, he cries that D is sitting on the wrong side of him... He is so into the specifics of odd things. Some days I don't know what to do with him...

Of course to top it off, when we got home, in the mail waiting for us was all the paperwork for his GH testing. It just looks so intimidating.

Some days I just feel so sad.

Christina - posted on 01/24/2009

Clothes...    Kids picking them up ..     Its soooooooooo agrivating ..   I think its the worst at school though..           Ive been trying to catch myself and stop carying her around     its so hard though ..   things move so much faster when I just pick her up and go ..   But when she cries cuz she cant reach the light switch   or cant reach something on the counter   It just breaks my heart .. 

Rachael - posted on 01/21/2009

haha, I bet it is scary...  my nephews like to pick J up and carry him aorund...  I am like, he is 4 years old... put him down!  I have even caught his teachers carrying him around...  Of course I am guilty of it oo.

Allison - posted on 01/21/2009

i haven't had that kind of issue yet due to being a stay-at-home plus her age. the biggest thing i have to watch out for is her 2.5yr brother who wants to carry her around everywhere! sometimes i wish that she were a little bigger so he couldn't pick her up, it's kind of scary sometimes!

Rachael - posted on 01/21/2009

yeah.. somedays I feel like maybe I should let it go...  but then I see him in school, being left behind becasue he is too small to do the things kids his age can do. His BMI is single digits.. so his height for weight is off too...  36 inches and 25 lbs (if he is wearing clothes)..  it breaks my heart to see this tiny child getting trampled..He is a very happy kid, and is developmentally on target.. advanced in many areas...  but he just can't reach things.. and he is not a rough and tumble kind

Allison - posted on 01/21/2009

that's the approach my first pediatrician took with my son. i had worked at the hospital with him for several years & knew as soon as i found out i was pregnant that he was who i was going to use. the pediatrician i'm using now is in the same clinic & has actually been a doctor longer but has not been ped certified as long. he's very nervous about it. i agreed to some bloodwork, we did a sweat test, & a 72hr calorie count. everything has checked out fine & i think we're at a stop on the testing unless something indicates a need for it. she's a very happy baby, has always been a good sleeper & has met all milestones very well & usually ahead of schedule. we'll see! i definitely do not intend to use growth hormones or anything like that as long as it looks like "she's just petite" which is all he's been able to tell me so far! we'll see!

Rachael - posted on 01/21/2009

i had teh opposite problem...  while I loved our Ped (we moved), she was very much a wait and see.. which i appriciated... but now I kinda wish we had done something sooner. Now I have a 4 year old who is the size of a 1 year old, and we are having horrible times in school, etc... and still no closer to finding an answer

Allison - posted on 01/21/2009

i'm going to remember some of these tips & ideas. my little girl will be 1 in 1.5wk & weighs 13lb & is 25in. we still wear 0-3mo clothes. i already get a lot of comments on how advanced she is when she pulls up & starts cruising. my son started out really small, apparently i have small kids! he was 5lb9oz at birth (full-term) & did not get on the growth chart until he was 18mo but is now around 30% for wt and 75% for ht. my little girl was 6lb7oz, also full-term but she is staying smaller than my son for longer. i have an inexperienced pediatrician this time after my first moved. he is pressuring me to do a lot of testing that as a pediatric rn i feel is unnecessary. it's very stressful already! it was nice to find this group!

Juli - posted on 01/20/2009

me too, I guess the positive is the clothes last longer, so I can justify the more expensive purchases!  Just the other day I thought Memphis' 2t's were getting too small, then he finally stopped wearing diapers (he had a tethered cord).  And once he didn't have that padding the 2T slipped right off him!  Thank goodness for adjustable waists.

Rachael - posted on 01/20/2009

oh, don't even get me started on clothes... we are between 18 month ans 24 month...   It is so very frusterating..

Christina - posted on 01/20/2009

I have this problem ...  expecially at school..    My Megan is 5 and she is in Kindergarten ..  Everyone thinks she is this little baby .. there are days she will come home crying ..    She def will not play with the girls cuz they wont play with her cuz they think she's a baby ...  So she migrated to the boys ..   they dont care who digs in the dirt or plays with trucks ..   When people say oh how cute ...  she's so little ..    She does all the talking ..  usually yelling at them     "Im not a baby ..   I am 5 years old .. "    then they think I have a rude child ..   OH well    they shouldnt assume ..    Shopping for clothes for her is a nightmare..   she is 5 and wears a 2T  3T's are big on her ..   and all that is in that size is todler clothes ..  not big girl stuff that her 8 yr old sister is wearing ..   One thing I  am lucky about is that she isnt afraid to do things  .. like in the park ... she climbs , swinigs. teeter tots with the best of them ..  The dr is amazed that  she hasnt broken a bone yet ..    The biggest thing was I had to stop myself from treating her like a "baby "   even tho she is my baby ..    now she gets pissed at me for not doing things for her ..    but she's learning ..   It will talk time ..     Just be blunt with people and tell them    He is not a baby ...  he is 4 please treat him as such ..     stick to it  and it will change ..   

Emily - posted on 01/13/2009

you need to find a gym that has a boys program.  Let your husband go and see.  Plus tell him that all of us girls think the male gymnasts are cute.  His boy will get some attention!!

Juli - posted on 01/12/2009

I have to say about gymnastics being too girly, in my son's class of 10 there are only 3 girls and the rest are boys.  Maybe if you had your son's doctor brought it up, would that help convince your husband??  Another thing that has helped is we got one of those chin up bars that you install in the door way and my son hangs from it, try's to pull him self up & it's been building strength.

I'm a firm believer our kids will find their strengths, it sounds like your son intellectually and mine with his cheery personality.

Rachael - posted on 01/11/2009

We thought about putting him in gymnastics, but Dh says it is too "girly" and that he is going to have enough problems being male and small...  ughh, though I am thinking seriously about martial arts...   none of the recreation teams will allow him to play, because he is so small... liability or something...

Emily - posted on 01/10/2009

 i just want to scream for you.  My 11 year old has this happen.  When she was 6 people would say that she was such a good talker. Now as a 5th grader her friends want to pick her up and carry her around.  She hates it and has even fought back a time or two.  We started gymnastics because it is a sport where the tiny are mighty.

Juli - posted on 01/09/2009

Hi I'm new to the group.   I had to respond to this because I know exactly what you mean.  My son will be 4 in February but he's the size of a 2 year old.  I've had mom's admonish me at the park for letting him get too 'crazy'.  Let me point out I usually have to encourage him to try things at the park and it takes months to accomplish the 'big kid' stuff.  I often have people tell me how advanced he must be and you should have seen their faces when he started walking (at 15 months he looked 6 months).  When I tell them he's actually been delayed and it's been  a lot of work getting them to this point they then ask his age.  When I tell them the say a surprised/startled "oh" or worse 'wow, he's so little'.  These comments usually bother me and now have started to bother my son...he will say very seriously 'I'm a BIG BOY'.  So now since I've rambled on and on I'll get to the point.  My sister gave me some GREAT advice that has been working fantastically.  When someone comments on how small he is I just say, 'he's big on personality.'  It's actually been working great, it really quiets those comments and my son hears the word big, so he feels good about himself.

I still keep going to the park and gymnastics because it is very good for him physically.