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Having twins....only bringing one home...

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Conflicted

Samantha - posted on 05/02/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am having the hardest time with the question, "Do you have any children?". I want to claim both my boys, but when other questions are asked about them I can only speak of my surviving son. When I am forced to mention that my youngest twin passed away it makes for a very awkward situation. But when I go to mention just having one son I feel that I am not acknowledging the angel baby. I want to avoid the awkward moments and the "pity party" image, but it breaks my heart to not mention both my boys. Any thoughts? I really need some advice on this. How do you all deal with it?

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Alex - posted on 03/21/2012

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I say I am a mummy to 4 children but I only have 3 of them with me now. Most people don't respond but it makes them think and I feel like I have honoured my angel Oscar.

Amber - posted on 05/30/2011

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I used to have a hard time dealing with this about 4 years ago, when my sons were born (and one passed). I have learned that for me personally it feels better to mention them both. To this day the pity party and the " aww,sorry to hear that" isnt something i enjoy, but i can honestly say that it feels much better inside to at least acknowledge my "gone but not forgotten child" . It is very difficult to give such advice because everyone handles this pain differently. I say do what makes you feel the best inside and the most at ease. Its your comfort that is most important in the end!

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