Help stopping bottle for 3 year old

I am embarrassed that my 3 year old daughter will not go to sleep without a bottle! We have tried everything from star charts to gifts to throwing them away to offering her a substitute but she will not give it up. She has a doll and blanket that she sleeps with too. It has become a circus at night as she wakes us for bottle after bottle and also now has to have my husband / me in the bed with her. We are desperate but the tears and hysteria when we try not to give it to her wake up our 1 year old son and mean we don't get any sleep. I am not a believer in letting a child cry it out but am at my wits end! I am working mom and am exhausted beyond words. If anyone has any suggestions or input please send it my way......