need help: homeschool burnout due to 12 yr old adhd son

Cynthia - posted on 04/22/2010

I understand about the time, Wendy. Until recently, I didn't feel comfortable asking anyone else to watch Micah. Even now, my first thought is always, "Will they be able to handle him?" I don't get time out alone, the only "me" time I get is like you, once a month, MAYBE, out with the girls... I also don't take the kids with me when I go grocery shopping. I consider that "me" time, and I take my time being out alone! But, that's only twice a month!

Is there a homeschool support group in your town? I just joined one, and though I haven't been able to attend many events yet I know that it is going to be what gets me through homeschooling my three! They usually have park days at least once a month, as well as scheduled field trips once or twice a month. Our group also offers a PE class once a week, and the non-PE class kids hang out and play at the park. They also have a Mom's night out once a month where we gather in someone's home and discuss a topic, such as homeschooling special needs kids, lapbooking, unit studies, etc. I would strongly suggest you look into it! Our group is a Christian group, but I was surprised when I found out how many of them pulled their kids out of school because of attention and learning problems!!!

Wendy - posted on 04/22/2010

Thanks to both of you. Somedays are a lot better than others but that is life w/ or w/o ADHD right? I think my problem is that I don't get a break from Ronnie. I do get an hour 2 times a week when he goes to karate (if my husband gets home from work on time) and once a month a group of friends go out to dinner and talk, talk, talk! Yet, no one seems to have a kid w/ as much problems as mine. I feel horrible talking so negatively but ahhhhrrrrgggg! Thanks for letting me blow steam. I wish there was a place that I could meet up w/ other moms here in my hometown. We are such a small town type of place. And when would I find the time? But I know that I have to carve out some me time otherwise there won't be any me to give out.

Christina And Mark - posted on 04/01/2010

Wendy-you sooo remind me of our family in Dec 2009. When we first started homeschooling, we were basically unschoolers/relaxed schoolers. Then we struggled as the oldest was not learning to read and having problems with learning basic math. We joined a charter school thinking that it would help. It didn't and actually harmed my youngest. Now our oldest found books that she wanted to learn to read, that she was interested in and guess what my ADHD-Combined type daughter is flying through those books. My youngest who is ADHD-Inattentive (our dreamer) learned that she couldn't read or do math in the charter school. We have been struggling with finding the path to help her but we are back to doing relaxed homeschooling with her. We had to change how to help her learn. Both are auditory and visual learners which is soooo not PS or even the last charter school ways of teaching. Perhaps figuring out how your kiddo learns might change your path of teaching. I have also found that my ADHD kiddos can't sit and learn for long periods of time. They do one topic for about 20 minutes and we don't make them do it sitting, just so long as they do it. Social studies is reading living books. Science is nature and gardening. Reading is Zoo Phonics for youngest and Reading Naturally for oldest. Math is Saxon for oldest and Math-U-See for youngest. I forgot to mention that neither of my kiddos are on meds. We do watch what they eat-whole family is vegetarian and sugar/sweets can make our life very interesting in our house. My poor husband knows how much fun that is with two kiddos and mama on sugar/sweets with ADHD ): Lastly, remember that you are always the best teacher for your child because you care more about your child than any other teacher ever could!!!

Cynthia - posted on 03/23/2010

Wendy, I am SO sorry you are feeling this way! I was feeling like this when I started this group, then last Fall I would try to do "school at home" with my son, and it just didn't work!!! I had to go back and re-think WHY I decided to homeschool in the first place. For me, it was so I can teach all of my children how, where, and when they learn the best. I had to actually quit teaching my son formally. Now, I teach him incidentally. I don't know how long that will last, but for now it's working. He's only 6.

You are NOT a bad mom, you are NOT a bad teacher!!! That you feel that way is a great sign that you are not. I would suggest looking at what you are teaching, and HOW you are teaching it. Is he bored? I remember hearing teachers say that Spring Break was when their kids would burn out for the rest of the year... The last few months were either teaching to the state standards test or just review of the year. It's normal. What do you use to homeschool?



I don't medicate my son. I'm not opposed to it, I just feel that until he absolutely needs it I'm not going to do it. I have found that monitoring my son's diet helps him enough that he doesn't need it. I have cut out all food dyes, and try to stay away from preservatives as much as possible. I have found that this brings him from "Tazmanian Devil" to "Road Runner." He still definitely has ADHD, but it's manageable. I can tell when he's had something he reacts to, and once I figure out the culprit he's back to normal within a day or two. When I cut them out of his diet, it took at least a week before I noticed any change, and after a month I noticed a HUGE difference! I wanted to make sure that the diet was really helping, so I let him have whatever he wanted at a Halloween party. Coming home from that party, he took a rock and scratched up the side of my husband's car!

My son is also small for his age. He's 6 1/2 and still fits in size 4/5 shorts. He is just recently able to fit in 6 slim. He's just over 40 lbs. I can't imagine how much thinner he'd be if he was on medication!