Getting my feet wet?

Melinda - posted on 01/09/2009

I don't think any mother should be blamed for trying to protect there kids from what they are exposed to on a dialy basis. I have a sophmore who still attends public school, so she can play sports. I worry constantly. However, my other daughter I teach at home through a virtual acadamy. She is involved in a science groups that meets once a month, ski club, and a math class. All of these classes, and groups are through her school. I feel confident she is still able to, socialize, and stay involved, and yet not overly exposed to what I deem questionable. Homeschooling is a very personal and a difficult decision. I had to make this decision with our whole family. So far it's been good. If you want to check out the virtual acadamies, most of them offer the academic work, clubs and groups, and yet the kids stay home to do the work. Good luck.

Shawn - posted on 01/09/2009

Hi there. I am new to the group, but have been homeschooling my son since the beginning of this school year. We have actually found a great program that follows all the CA state standards, the school has been honored as a blue ribbon school and yet they provide both a full home schooling or partial home schooling prgram. We are homeschooling our son 3 days and he attends class 2 days. It gives him the best of both worlds and he seems to really enjoy the program.

Andi - posted on 01/04/2009

I can relate. We waited two years to make the commitment to home school. This is our first year. I had the same fears you have. I, too, attended a private school (Catholic) growing up. I actually placed my kids in the same school. What I found there was a lack of individuality which we knew the kids need. We don't have a home school group local although they are available. One major suggestion I would make is to join the HSLDA - Home School Legal Defense Association. They offer a great deal of information and guidance.



I moved our oldest to the public school - something I had nightmares about! I actaully was happier with the course available but the peer group - YIKES!



So here we are. The kids are blooming and I found it easier once I figured out my job was to help them learn not teach. They are doing really well and it has brought so much to our relationships inside our family.



We searched and found lots of local offerings like nature club, art classes etc for them to attend. I also chose a very structured cirriculum and that has worked well for us for this first year. I hope to move into more self structured programs next year.



They tell me almost daily how much they love being home schooled.



Best wishes to you. I know it is a difficult decision to make.

Connie - posted on 01/04/2009

Hi, I'm new here. We just started homeschooling my kindergartener this year so I don't have much to say about teenagers, but I wanted to add that it might be possible for your kids to continue with band and homeschool at the same time. When I switched from public school to a tiny Christian school in tenth grade it was possible for me to still come to the public school only for band and I could join in all the band activities outside of school too. I would recommend the book " Do Hard Things" too. My husband is a translator and he is working on translating it for the German publisher right now so I've gotten a chance to look through it. Good stuff.

Susan - posted on 10/26/2008

I just began homeschooling this year. We decided it would be easier to start with only one, as we all become adjusted to something new. It has been very hard to not homeschool all, but I know it is for the best. We have started with 4th grade and I too believe my children (especially the oldest who is fourth grade) are being exposed to things that we just don't approve of. It isn't easy by any means but I am very much at peace with our decison. Good luck!

Kathy - posted on 10/26/2008

Hi NIcole....

Being nervous is just a sign that you love your kids. Weighing your options is the best thing that you could do. Homeschooling is an awesome way to spend time with each of your children and encourage the love of learning. As a mom who took her kids out of public school, allow me to tell you about my journey. My kids still remain friends with their public school friends. They participate in music lessons, kids bands, etc.



I also started a local homeschool cooperative. This allows my children to experience what it is like to participate in a class setting. Cooperative start from Kindergarten to Highschool. Look for a local cooperative in your area and research what they have to offer. We offer things like, dissection classes, field trips, Chemistry classes, speakers, etc. We have graduation exercises, field day events, science fairs, history fairs, standardized testing and so much more.



So, my kids are not missing out on anything.... Homeschooling is what you make it out to be. If you want to sit in your home and keep the kids to yourself, then .... or you can get involved and really let your kids learn to enjoy life.

Summer - posted on 10/23/2008

Hi, Nicole - I just joined this group and haven't done much with it yet. Your note resonated with me because I have an 11 year old (12 in a few weeks) and a 13 year old son. This is unchartered territory and brings up a whole new set of decisions/opportunities for growth, discussions, etc. I'll explain a little about myself, first...



I went to public school until 7th grade, and amidst a very nasty court case the school district brought against us, we started homeschooling...after it was proved to be legal. I didn't want to be homeschooled because I loved school - everything about it, down to the hour and a half bus ride each way. Long story short, I "endured" it, missed friends and stuff and felt short-changed on some things, but basically survived and didn't have much of a rebellious spirit so not too much to regret. Didn't know what I'd do necessarily when I had kids - was a little aimless in my young adult life. Had a good life, though, good job, got married, and then God said "Merry Christmas" the month we got married and I was pregnant...7 months after giving birth, was pregnant again. Now we also have a 4 1/2 year old foster daughter that we have adopted - God works in mysterious ways...but that is a whole different story.



Once you have those kids, your perspective starts to change. Things you swore you wouldn't do become a possible reality when God places you in charge of your children's spiritual and physical upbringing.



So, fast forward 13 years...at no time have a doubted myself on homeschooling my kids. But, as to the bubble you talked about...that's not what it's about, even though I think we try desperately to put it there. I don't know where you live, but especially in large cities/towns there is so much opportunity to integrate yourself into society and allow your children to have controlled situations in which to express themselves and learn from others. We have immersed ourselves in church, in the music and drama departments, and in serving others. The "how will they be well socialized" card doesn't get played much with us...my kids are extremely comfortable socializing and interacting with all ages and types of people. I started a group of kids (8 are homeschooolers, 4 are not) in our church in a dance ministry - we have a "hip-hop" group of kids who sing and dance for the Lord at our church and in our community. My daughter is an amazing performer - acts and sings - and she has been involved in too many community events to count. She amazes me with her ability to be in the limelight and not be nervous and be exactly who God created her to be without a negative thought for what people might think.



(If you get a chance, check out Alex & Brett Harris' book called "Do Hard Things" - we are reading it together in the mornings before school, and has quite the challenge for our kids to not give in to the mainstream idea that kids have to "just be kids" instead of doing amazing things during their teen years.)



Anyway, the interesting thing we did this year is that my son joined the middle school football team. Depending on where you live, there are different laws/restrictions about how you go about that. In the beginning I was wary, because like you, I didn't want them to be involved or have to be exposed to lousy styles of leadership or less than ideal relationships. However, I knew that this would be a time for Taran to start learning about himself and his relationship with God. Whether there was positive or negative experiences, because of the strong and certain relationship he has with me and with God (because over the last 13 years we have had the TIME that needs to be invested in those relationships because we've been home...not running crazy all day long), I KNEW that we would learn from either situation. If he overheard or was drawn into unsavory conversations, he would learn about turning away from evil. If he was treated unfairly, he would learn about being okay with life not being fair. If he was persecuted because of his faith, he would learn if he had the guts to be different. In the end, he learned about being humble, he learned about working as a team, he learned to push through pain and take a beating for the common good, he learned to respect authority that wasn't delivered in a way he was used to...I could go on and on. God was good, and he had a Christian coach, and the team of kids really began to accept him as part of them. They even asked him to play with them on the basketball team. He decided not to, because his two big physical passions are football and taekwondo, but it did him a world of good for them to WANT him to continue on with them to the other sports!



I also learned lessons. It was a good training ground for me to start loosening the reins a little bit. To trust the work I had started - not in my work, but God's work in his life. I could go on and on about the positives. There were negatives, but they were used as life lessons to all of us as a family.



Okay, I know I've made this long - sorry. I want to close with what I believe about homeschooling and the Bible. It doesn't tell me anywhere that I am supposed to homeschool my kids in the 21st century. What it DOES tell me is that I am supposed to "Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." (Deut. 6:5-9) I know that I cannot do that if I send them off to school at 6:30 in the morning and don't get them back until 4:30 at night and then spend the rest of the day running to and from activities and trying to get homework in, etc. Fact of the matter is that I know too many good Christian families who don't have the TIME to KNOW God. It takes time to develop good relationships. I can trust in my kid's relationships with God because I know they are not built on a Sunday only relationship, but on day to day, hour by hour learning about him through our curriculum and through talking with each other all day.



The other thing I know is that, no matter what any person ever tells me, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is my children's relationship with God. I know that they need a good education, I know they need to have good goals and make a good living and provide well for themselves to pay the bills and take responsibility for themselves and their family. I will do a darn good job preparing them for life in that way. That's all necessary and a part of godly character. However, the absolute most important thing, above learning about math and grammer, biology, etc...the ONLY thing that lasts eternally is their relationship with God. If we get in a car wreck today, it will not matter one iota if my daughter who struggles with math understands how to multiply fractions. If my son dies because he went into the military and goes to war - it will NOT matter that he has a degree in history or not. His relationship with God is ultimately the only thing that survives his death. And that RELATIONSHIP with God will determine and influence their actions and decisions and motives while God does give them precious time on this earth. That's all that matters to me - I will do a good job with their education, but our relationship with God is top priority, and I will take advantage of every moment of their lives to foster a strong tie between me and them and God.



Well, I am SUPPOSED to be correcting school. I know I droned on for awhile there, and part of it is that we just came through this football experience. I can't tell you how many times I stressed about the teen years, and I can honestly say I'm no longer afraid. God will lead us through the good stuff and the bad stuff and I know that He can use it in our lives. I learned from my parent's mistakes, and I know God can fill in the gaps of my parenting failures. But, please, don't lose out on the advantages of being with your kids all day. Don't listen to satan whispering in your ear that you would be "sheltering them too much" or that they wouldn't get enough "socialization." Tomato plants don't get put out in January when they would shrivel up and die in the cold, bitter weather. We put them out in June when they are strong enough to survive a little weather and then we continue to nurture them with tender care. Pretty soon we don't have to worry about the big wind and a little lack of moisture, but we still get out there the next day and stake it up again, spray some bug killer and give it some water. I pray that my kids are going to have strong and certain beliefs that will keep them anchored through the times of uncertainty, failure, maybe even rebellion towards me and God. I've kept them sheltered in my care but I haven't put my hands over their eyes and ears so they never see anything bad. You can do plenty to build up their character while taking the time to have the biggest impact on them. God gave your kids to you to raise - not anyone else. You only have 18 years or so to do the foundational work. Take advantage of it, and believe me, the hard things, the things you will sacrifice to do it, they will be worth it.



In His care,

Summer