Congrats! You're a Woman Now!

[deleted account] ( 23 moms have responded )

I got a text this morning from a friend. "I'm so excited! C finally got her period! She's a woman now! Shhhhh.......not something I want announced on FB". This happens to be a close friend of mine.

OK, so I text back "Congrats? Is this something you're supposed to congratulate?"

And then I'm thinking, did MY MOTHER go around telling HER friends when me & my sister got our periods?!! Is that normal a conversation?! So the debate part of this: How much personal information about your children do you share with others?

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Mrs. - posted on 07/10/2011

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This is the worst. I had my period when I just turned 10 and was really, really embarrassed. None of my friends had theirs, at least not for the next four years or so. I told none of my friends.

However, my mother was very excited to share it with my Grandmother, my aunt, my older brother and, even though I begged her not to, my father.

I remember how frightening is was to have it so early, but most of all I remember it not being private. It really kind of scarred me for years.

Please, if your daughter asks you to keep it private...do so. If you can't keep your mouth shut, then at least make sure she doesn't find out.

23 Comments

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Rosie - posted on 07/11/2011

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i would tell a close friend or two. i would definitely makes ure they didnt' bring it up in front of my kid though. that's going to far.

Merry - posted on 07/11/2011

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Yeah I might mention it to a close friend buy idont think I'd be all giddy and excited......I mean it's not like when they start walking.....I guess would be more excited to announce she is toilet trained since it something I worked hard to teach her, but a period just happens, as mom we don't have any control overt so I don't see the big excitement thing

[deleted account]

one of my best friends couldn't wait to tell me. if I had a daughter I'm not sure I'd announce it but who knows. I have no idea what the correct reaction would be other than, "Well that's nice."

Dana - posted on 07/11/2011

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Well, I don't have a daughter but, it's not something I would tell anyone if I did. If she wanted to then that's fine but, I think it's a rather personal thing to be gossiping about. Hell there's enough embarrassing things going on when you're a teenager, no need to have your mom add to it by telling people that you got your period.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 07/11/2011

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My dad raised my sisters and i and he was very proud and told some of his friends and my male cousins who happen to be visiting at the time..I was pissed and embarrassed. So I would only share with my daughters close auntie's and her Grammy...people like that and yeah my good frinds..but I would not post on FB oh no

Becky - posted on 07/11/2011

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Hmmm, I don't have any idea whether my mom told other people that I'd gotten my period! I do remember her making kind of a big deal about it, just right when it happened, so I know the rest of my immediate family knew. That was okay though. I got my period while we were home in Canada, but then we went back to Africa and back to boarding school, and let me tell you, when you live in a dorm with 22 other highschool girls, any semblance of privacy pretty much goes out the window! I remember the first time I tried to use tampons, because we were going swimming, I had 3-4 other girls trying to tell me how to do it! I had a horrid time of it - for quite a while the only kind I could manage to get in were Playtex plastic applicator ones. Anyways, yeah, when you live in a dorm, you get to the point where pretty much nothing embarasses you anymore! :)

Merry - posted on 07/11/2011

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First reaction was NO!that's not right to share, but on second thought I could see myself telling my best friend since we pretty much share every personal detail about us and our kids already! But never in front of my daughter and never tell anyon who might mention it to her.
It's her beginning of her privacy IMO. My mom always noticed when there were pads in the trash and would ask me and my sister who got their period. We hated it and I asked why does it matter?
It wasn't her business to be asking who is on their period, if I needed help or had a question I'd ask, but it felt violating for her to corner us and ask who was on it.
I did share with my mom when I first got it, mostly because I wasn't sure if it was or not, but after that she should have let us have privacy.

Krista - posted on 07/11/2011

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Yeah, I might tell a couple of my close girly friends, but would make sure they knew that this wasn't an open thing to discuss on my Facebook.

[deleted account]

"telling people that your son got his first boner! "

Now THAT freaked me out when my son was about 3 weeks old and I went around asking all my mommy friends of boys is that was normal!

As far as my period, yeah, I am certain my mom shared with all of her Jewish gossipy friends. They played Mah-Johng once a week and I used to overhear some of their gossip! Yeah, I guess it *is* something to discuss, but not sure why. And there's no way in hell I would share with anyone when my son starts growing pubes! That's way too private!

Jenn - posted on 07/11/2011

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I would have been absolutely mortified if my Mum had gone around telling people!!! I can't say that would be info I'd run out to share with people. I don't think it makes you a woman, it isn't something to be proud or ashamed of - it just is what it is. To me it's the equivalent of running out and telling people that your son got his first boner!

Ez - posted on 07/11/2011

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I will not be telling people when they grow pubes.



BAHAHAHAHA!!



I got my period just after I turned 11. I had only one friend who already had hers (she got hers at 8!), and I did not want it to be public knowledge. My Mum had other ideas. I remember there being several of my friends in my bedroom... Mum waltzes in and goes 'so did you tell everyone you got your period?' Yeah, that was fun lol. It didn't traumatize me, but I was definitely embarrassed.



I think it's fine for a mother to tell her mummy friends (discreetly of course). But beyong that, I think it's important to respect the girl's privacy. Let her tell people if she wants to.

Stifler's - posted on 07/11/2011

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LOL. I sincerely hope mine didn't. My husband's cousin constantly overshares with her daughter allegedly having pubes, getting her period, being 'hormonal and moody' (at age 8 mind you). In front of Yani. I can only imagine the emotional damage that this could cause, everyone knowing your private business. I don't even talk to Michelle that often but every time I do she mentions something about periods or pubic hair. Fair enough if it was your closest friend and not in front of the child.



I share heaps of info about my kids, but they are babies and often it's in order to get advice from other people who have kids. I will not be telling people when they grow pubes.

[deleted account]

I don't know if my mom told people. I DO know I was excited to tell all my friends. I was one of the first. Poor naive little girl.

[deleted account]

Oh... the growth spurts are already here. Mid May they were about halfway between my chin and my lip. When they left on July 1... they were right under my nose. I told their father not to let them grow more than an inch while they are gone. lol

The girls are pretty much right on track w/ each other as far as growth and development. There's about an inch or so difference in height and 1-3 pounds difference in weight. Both are getting 'buds' too....

[deleted account]

Teresa, I bet you will see a lot of pre-puberty growth spurts in the next year. I had twin students one year who were on opposite ends of the growth/development spectrum-but they were fraternal. Not sure what you have noticed in your girl's development.

Amie - posted on 07/10/2011

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Crap, you know what. I was just thinking back to when our oldest got hers last year. I think, I might, have said the same thing to a few people - the "she's a woman" bit. I can't remember but it might have happened. Old phrases die hard. hahahaha.

Amie - posted on 07/10/2011

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For my social circle and family, it's common to share, yes.



I can see what Rebecca is saying though. Our daughter was also 10 when she got hers, I got mine at 11. It didn't bother us though, not the way it seems to have bothered Rebecca. We also wouldn't have said anything to anyone if we were told not too.



I should also note; when i got mine at 11 I was at home with just my dad and oldest brother. My mom was in the hospital having just given birth to my sister a few hours before that. My dad was more shook up than I was. It was a slap in the face for him that his oldest daughter was growing up and he just had another one only a few hours old. LOL Poor dad.

[deleted account]

I've shared quite a bit about my kids w/ certain super close friends (and anonymous internet 'strangers' who will never meet us... lol). If my kids asked me to keep a secret about them... I definitely would, but it hasn't come up yet.



As for the getting their period thing? Thanks a lot. I was already 'mourning' the fact that they're growing too quickly. Now I've got THAT in my head too. lol

[deleted account]

Oh rebecca, that must have been such a horrible experience to get your period so young! And then to have that personal information shared against your will.

I am sure that my friend discreetly told just a handful of people. The fact that she shared with me is becasue she is out of town on a 3-day conference, and so her daughter, 13 years old, is dealing with this with her Grandma. I also live very close by and my friend told her daughter "Please call Sharon if you need anything and if you are embarassed to talk to Grandma."

I am so grateful for a son! But I suppose it's common to share when a girl starts her period with friends/family?

Amie - posted on 07/10/2011

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Ah yes, I should mention it wasn't something we did behind our daughters back or something my mother did behind my back.

It was a lot more hush hush than when my sister got hers. She just sat down at the dinner table and went "I got my period!!!". =/ My parents had company that night. It was quite comical. LOL

Amie - posted on 07/10/2011

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I told people when our oldest got her period. I know my mother did the same thing.

However, I object to the "she's a woman now" phrase. Getting your period does not automatically equal womanhood. It does mean she's grown enough to have babies but that doesn't mean she's a woman. Not the way it's defined now. In days past, yes. Today, no.

I see no issue with telling people though. Well close family and friends. It'd be weird walking up to acquaintances and strangers. LOL

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