Cop handcuffs Kindergartener

Katherine - posted on 04/17/2012 ( 249 moms have responded )

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A Georgia cop who handcuffed a tantruming kindergartner is in the middle of a hailstorm of criticism this week. So I'm going to do this poor guy a favor. I'm not going to add to it.



That's right. I'm the mother of a girl who is the same age as little Salecia Johnson was when she pitched a hissy in the middle of the classroom at her elementary school in Milledgeville, Georgia last week. And I know what kind of damage a pissed off 6-year-old can do. I also know what it takes to calm a pissed off 6-year-old down. Handcuffing doesn't sound that far off the mark.



The thing is, according to the reports, Salecia was tearing things off the walls in her classroom. She was throwing furniture. She ripped a shelf off the wall of the principal's office, and it injured the administrator.



This was not some pouting toddler. This was a full on, s--t has hit the fan blowout.



And I can picture how it went down because I've been there. My 6-year-old went through a "I'm going to throw fits" phase -- although never in public (thank heavens for small mercies). She was testing her boundaries, and as responsible parents, we laid down the law. The phase ended, and we've moved on.



But I still remember how we had to calm her. We would sit, holding her in the safety of our arms, while she worked out her frustrations. Now imagine a grown man, a stranger, doing that to a 6-year-old girl. He'd be facing more than criticism today. People would be calling him a pedophile and accusing him of molesting the little girl.



Yes, he's a cop. But in this society, grown men do not hold little girls close to their bodies without some sort of repercussions. So what else is a cop to do when he walks into a classroom and finds a child wreaking such havoc?



Talking to them doesn't work if it falls on deaf ears -- which is what is said to have happened with Salecia. And walking out of the room, just letting her continue to destroy the place, isn't an option. At best she would learn that this type of atrocious behavior is acceptable. At worst, she would continue to hurt other people and/or possibly hurt herself.



So what does that leave? Handcuffs. It's not a great option. In fact, it downright sucks that he was put in that position. But on a scale from one to TASER, I think it's probably the best that can be done in a bad situation.



As the mother of a 6-year-old, I don't want to think of my child ever being put in handcuffs. But then, I don't ever want my child tearing things off the classroom walls, throwing furniture, or ripping a shelf off the wall in the principal's office. If my kid was being cuffed for behavior that atrocious, I don't think I'd be taking the story to the media. I'd be asking myself how the heck my kid got that out of control.



What do you think the officer should have done in this situation?



Well hmmm, obviously the kid has some DEEP seated issues. A psychological assessment could have been ordered. I mean WTF??? Ok the kid is out of control, but she's SIX!!!!! Let's taser them next. Call the parents for fucks sake! There were other ways to handle it.

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My sister is a school psychologist. She has to physically restrain children (as young as 5) on a weekly basis. Some of the kids she deals with are totally and completely out of control and will complete go ape-shit if given the chance. In fact, a lot of times the "problem" kids are beaten at home and act WORSE at school because they know they can't be hit there. If the school can't control the child, and they child is harming the staff, they will call the police. Sounds like that is what happened here -- the child pulled down a shelf, injured a staff member, and bought herself a trip to the police department. Based on what we know, the school's response was totally appropriate and the police officer's response was appropriate. Neither school officials nor the police have to tolerate a beating just because the aggressor is a child. I hope this taught her a good lesson.

Jenni - posted on 04/22/2012

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****Mod Warning****



Ladies stick to the topic and please stop making this debate so personal. This is how threads become derailed and the thread becomes locked. Which ruins the debate for everyone else who is not engaging in bickering.



DM Mod,



Jenni =^;^=

[deleted account]

Agreed, Laura. I'm sure this child probably has a history of bad behavior.



MeMe -- your ranting makes no sense. According to you, it's OK for the school to handcuff her but it's somehow wrong for the cops to? What, you're worried about her self-esteem? Boo-hoo. My heart's breaking for her. Her own behavior is humilating, not the consequences. You just sound like an enabler.



And as to your claims that you were "controlled" by your school by taking you to the principal's office, it sure sounds to me like you sat there nicely waiting for mama to show up. This child went running and screaming down the hallway and her behavior got even worse. Should they have ducted taped her to a chair while waiting for mom to show up? What exactly are you suggesting they should have done to restrain a child who is going ape-shit? Frankly, if your behavior was as bad as this child's, you would have also deserved to be arrested by the police.



Actually knowing my sister's experience as a school psychologist dealing with exactly these types of situations, I assure you that the reason why this kid went even MORE crazy is because she knew her mom had been called and now she was going to get the beating the school system can't deliver.



You haven't shown any "proof" that the teachers in this school district could have restrained this child. The law in the State of Georgia isn't the same as a teacher's contract at a particular school.

Dora - posted on 08/11/2012

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Hope, I agree with you that the officer had to get control of the child and if it took hand cuffs, that's what it took. The mother should be examining her child's behavior instead of attacking the officer.
On the issue of spanking, I don't agree. Maybe a swat on the bottom when the child is going for the electrical outlet, or starting to step on a busy street might help with a sudden emergency, but it doesn't really cure anything. I know from personal experience and personal observation that it CAN do harm. I've seen some of the damage. That passage in the
Bible that says "Spare the rod and spoil the child" has been the cause of more child abuse than anyone will ever be able to guess. There are people who use it on a regular basis instead of trying to learn other ways of dealing with problems. There ARE better ways. And as Megan mentioned, there are physical reasons for some types of behavior.

Corinne - posted on 05/10/2012

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If the school called the parents first and couldn't get ahold of them, then this was the right thing to do. Sad that our society is so hyper-sensitive that the officer couldn't bearhug her until she calmed down. I think taking her to the police station was a little too much though. She's a child having a tantrum... the police station is for adults who know better. The better option should have been handcuffing her, removing her from school and taking her to her parents. Why the school couldn't, for lack of better words, restrain her is a little odd to me... they should have some experience with over the top blowouts and how to deal with it themselves. The fact that the parents are so upset about this is weird to me... if my daughter freaked out that bad I wouldn't throw as big a fit as the kid. I would seriously reconsider my disipline skills.

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User - posted on 08/27/2012

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Here in the united kingdom teachers are not allowed to restrain a child unless there are very exceptional circumstances. My 14 year old son is autistic and if he has a hissey fit at school they guide him to an empty room (and i mean empty) so he can basically calm down in his own time, even if i was to give my permission to restrain him they would not be allowed to do it. If he has a hissey fit in town i just carry on doing what im doing, i dont show him that he is embarrassing me in any way and he calms down, at home he goes to his bedroom to calm down, sometimes he will trash his bedroom but then that is his responsibilty and his space so he is the one who has to live with it trashed....



Although I dont agree with the whole idea of handcuffing a six year old child if thats what had to be done then so be it.....

Chrissyomari - posted on 08/27/2012

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I'm going to read the article and the rest of the reponses later, but on first glance, I have a VERY ACTIVE little boy and if a cop put my 5 year old in hand cuffs, there would be a MAJOR shitstorm (excuse my language) a brewing when I found out about it.



As a former teacher, I know unequivocally that unfortuneately the "squeaky" wheel gets the cheese. The teacher and the school needs to know that they have to think twice before doing anything to my child because I won't have it.



Even with a "challenging" child, if you know the parent is involved, you think about any actions that you take, justified or not, when it comes to that kid because you know you WILL have to explain it in detail to a parent and answer questions. I've taught kindergarten and have dealt with unruly kids, yet I've never had an instance where I believed handcuffs would be appropriate. Like I said, I will read the article, but logically, unless this kid was a child of Hercules, there were probably other more appropriate options available.

Sherri - posted on 08/24/2012

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@Megan Disabilities such as ADD and ADHD do not cause misbehavior such as this. It is simply they have hard time focusing and possibly may have some extra energy which you simply get creative to curb. However, it does not cause violence, mean streaks or violent outbursts.

Dora - posted on 08/11/2012

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We have a long way to go on the medical front to deal with all of these problems. It takes know-how,experimentation and a realization that what works one year might not work another time. It's hard! All you can do is keep trying your best.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/11/2012

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Hope, there are a lot of other factors that contribute to why a child is out of hand than just the parent not taking their child and teaching them how to behaive. Disabilities such as ADD, ADHD, bi-polar, Apsbergers and Austism can all cause a child to act out in ways that a child without these disabilities wouldn't do.

I have a friend who is a very strict parent and her child has apsbergers (I feel like I'm spelling that wrong) so he will have what she calls melt downs where he will kick and punch her. Her son is 5 and has done some real damage to her when she restrains him so he won't harm himself or others. This is not a result of bad parenting, but a result of a chemical imbalance in the child's brain which will cause him to act out. There are therapies and medications that will help a child with a disability such as that. The parent just has to be willing to seek help and in the US be able to find a place that will help pay for it.

Spanking won't teach a kid who has any chemical imbalance shit- it'll just teach them that hey mom will hit back. You really need to educate yourself on childhood mental disorders.

I have bi-polar and ADD. I used to have screaming fits, throw things and once slammed my younger brother's head on the steps in our front room. This wasn't because my parents didn't discipline me, but was partially due to fetal alcohol syndrom from my birth mom and because of not being able to find the right meds for my body. It was NOT a result of my parents swatting my behind or not swatting my behind and it definitely wasn't about not being taught respect.

Bobmusicgirl4 - posted on 08/11/2012

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If your kid is acting that way, I'd turn and look at myself first and ask why I let my child get out of control like that. I'm reading some of the comments here and I can tell A LOT of you have some issues with disciplining your children. If your 10 year old is flipping furniture, you should spank the living crap out of him. If he jumps on you and punches you in the head in public, your child has some severe respect issues and will continue if you don't put a stop to that behavior. You don't just sit there and allow it to happen. If you don't want to be a parent, then don't have children but my lord. It takes work to raise a human being, you need to teach them right from wrong and how to handle themselves. This whole anti-spanking thing has gotten to the point where a good majority of children are acting like this then maybe something different should be done. If your child isn't getting the message, convey it with a smack on the butt. They remember it better, trust me. It's not just a mere coincidence that well behaved children get a paddle once in a while. It doesn't hurt your kid, in fact you're hurting them by not using discipline because later in life they'll continue to act like a spoiled brat and wonder why nobody wants to be around them, much less have any friends. Teaching your children how to have respect is the MOST IMPORTANT lesson of them all. Your children will grow up and end up thanking you. Trust me, I know because I did it.
To answer your question: Yes. I do think the officer did the right thing by handcuffing the child. She was out of control and would have definitely hurt one of her classmates especialy since she hurt the administrator. I hope that her mother takes a serious lesson from that, but chances are she won't after hearing her response.

User - posted on 06/04/2012

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my son is 10... he's been having violent outbursts for about 4 years. Just today I went into a convenient store and because I told him I wouldn't buy him the big package of twizzlers he jumped on me and punched me in the head... this isn't the first time. He's seen by a doctor monthly and starting a new therapist on Friday but there have been times that I have had to call the cops on my son. Once 2 years ago he almost split my head open flipping furniture, restraining him has gotten harder over time because he is getting big. I don't agree with handcuffing children, but sometimes there is no other way! Like you said for a grown man to physically restrain a young child, that adult would have to wonder where his hands were at all times and with an out of control child that wont stay still... his safest bet for himself and and the child would be to handcuff them. That child tearing apart a classroom or any room could seriously hurt themselves or someone else.

Dora - posted on 06/04/2012

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With the vehemence of this episode, he couldn't have taken any option that would take time. She was destroying things and hurting people. (At least, doing things that could hurt people) He restrained her, making it hard for her to continue her destructive actions. This was not a time for saying, "Oh, Sweetie, let's not do that, now." Restraining her in his arms would have raised eyebrows, as Katherine mentioned. Sorry, but I'm with him on this and I hope the "indignant" public will let him have peace. (I taught school for about 25 years before retiring. There are times when someone needs to take action even if the "righteous" public objects.) In most instances if the righteous people had done their jobs there wouldn't have been an episode. I'm referring mostly to family members, but not exclusively. True, sometimes things happen anyhow.

Lianda - posted on 06/01/2012

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think really have to have been there to really understand the full story before making an opinion but katherine i completely understand were you are coming from! how else would they deal with it for anyone else? kid has to learn even society has consequences for actions

Katherine - posted on 05/15/2012

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You know having a neighbor as an emergency contact would have been a good idea too. Not sure how many contacts you can have, but I bet the neighbor would have come to pick her up sooner. Just my opinion.

Also we don't really know about her home situation, they never really said. For all we know she gets away with that or maybe she does get abused. I tried to find updates but couldn't.

Isobel, do you have a link to that interview?

Isobel - posted on 05/15/2012

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I think that the kid's problem is that her mother doesn't think she has a problem. Did anybody here watch that interview? Her mother said she had a "mood" and that all of us have them sometimes...NO lady. We don't. She didn't answer the phone 6 times and in fact NEVER did go to retrieve her child...her aunt did.

Handcuffs are not a punishment. They are a restraint. Children are not allowed (and shouldn't) travel in the front seat.

So...she was restrained and brought to a safe place (I believe the police after seeing both interviews in this case), and waited for a family member to pick her up while enjoying a pop and she was never charged.

I think all the hoopla in this case is over the top because we try to imagine it happening to OUR kid, but we keep forgetting that OUR kid wouldn't have had to go to the police station because after SIX phone calls, we would've gone to get her.

I happen to know a kid whose parents pick him up from school after wigging out and attacking children and adults and I WATCHED the father buy the kid ice cream on the way home. NOT all kids are like "our" kids.

Colleen - posted on 05/15/2012

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I don't think this child is necessarily getting beaten at home. I would get the belt as a child, so i knew if i acted bad anywhere i would come home to a belt. I don't spank my kids, because of what i had expierenced as a child, but with that said they know not to act out. They no mom will not allow that kind of behavior,because there is that chance their butts will be beat.I think parents give in to their kids, do not give them any boundries, give them what they want when they start throwing a tantrum. So when they go to school and are told "no", well then they just act the way they do at home. People dont tell others anymore how it is. Everyone just stays out of it. Its sad that you see stories like this one all the time. It happened hear in Indiana. Schools cant take responsabilty or wont in fear of being sued, parents dont take responsabilty because they are afraid to hurt their childs feallings. its just sad. So now this poor police officer who technicaly did his job, is now in trouble. CPS does not care for either, they go by a sertain guidline and stick with it so they dont loose their jobs, kids are lost in the system. Its just sad. if you see a kid acting bad say something to them, and if their mom comes back and is mad at you try to talk it out. We as mothers need to stick together and be one big support for each other. Know your neighbors have them call you if they see your child acting bad, we are all so spread out we have lost our communities.

Katherine - posted on 05/11/2012

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@ Rebecca, there are obviously TWO issues here:

A) The handcuffing
B) Getting the child help

Apparently this school wasn't trained on how to deal with crisis prevention intervention. I think it should be national. It's ridiculous that they had to resort to handcuffs. Had it been my child, I would have signed a waiver too.

As far as her behavior, hopefully she will be getting assessed and getting the help she needs. That's A LOT of anger for a 6 year old to have. I was just googling to see if there were any updated articles but there aren't.

Anyways, IMO the parents are to blame from the information *I* have.

Janice - posted on 05/10/2012

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Rebecca - "Granted I have also signed releases for my child to be physically restrained if it is deemed necessary."

Yes, a child who is diagnosed with a disorder should have an IEP and often parents do sign a release such as you have.
This child (as far as we know) was not diagnosed with anything and no plan was in place for her. The lack of a release is the only logical reason why the school chose to have the police restrain the girl rather than a staff member.
She may have some type of disorder and I certainly hope the school not only gets to the bottom of the issue with this child, but also puts a plan of action in place for the future considering its common for kindergarteners to not be diagnosed yet.

Ashley - posted on 05/09/2012

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If i was that childs mother i would be so imberresed, anyway if my son did what that child did and they felt it necasary to cuff him to keep him and everyone else safe so be it, and he would probably be safer in jail at that point than with me because holy freaken hell thats just insane. That parents are just trying to get money over this regardless of the fact the cop did what he was suppost to do keep everyone safe and maybe next time this little girl will think twice before acting this way.

Rebecca - posted on 05/08/2012

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Katherine,
In my state, the schools are required to have a safe room and personel who are specially trained to restrain a child in the midst of a fit for the safety of the other children and other school personel. I believe this is federal regulation for public schools. Granted I have also signed releases for my child to be physically restrained if it is deemed necessary. I also live three minutes from the school and don't work outside the home, so it's very easy for me to get there. But this child obviously needs some sort of help she is not receiving. The school obviously needs better ways of dealing with such incidents or they need to identify students with such issues and send them to a school better equipped to deal with them. This needs to happen before she knocks a bookcase over on another student and kills them. She doesn't have the capability of thinking through the possible consequences of her actions, but she still has the ability to seriously injure or even kill someone. Had a teenager been doing the same thing, pushing and hitting other students, tearing things off the wall, knocking over a bookcase on top of the principal, would we even be having this discussion or would people be saying he needed to be in juvie? The issue here shouldn't be the cop handcuffing the girl, but getting the help to the child, to the school and to the parents that is needed in this situation.

Katherine - posted on 05/08/2012

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Liability Rebecca, I tried to google their handbook, but I couldn't find anything about what they're to do in that situation. I did find that they were supposed to get detention or suspension for "bad" behavior. They weren't prepared for this kind of situation, they didn't have all of their bases covered. They messed up royally. There is NOTHING in the handbook about how to control a child who acts like that.

So they did the unthinkable. They called the cops on a 6 year old. Then the cops did the unthinkable, they handcuffed the kid. She probably does have behavioral issues. I'm sure this isn't the first time she's done something like that. She probably did it at home and it just escalated to school. I don't even think they said what triggered it.......

Rebecca - posted on 05/08/2012

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My son is the same age as this girl. He has SPD, which is an autism spectrum disorder. With treatment, he has improved. But before he was diagnosed, fits were frequent. He would yell, kick, hit, bite, throw things (including furniture). He does NOT have deep psychological problems, or anypsychological problems at all. He has seen a psychologist. He has a disorder. I have had to physically restrain him, using a basket hold, to keep him from hurting others or himself. Last year, as a five year old, he was sent home from school for hurting a teacher. He's a small child, with his height at about 40% for his age group and his weight at about 20%, so its not a question of him not knowing his own strength. It's not a lack of discipline in the home. He is a smart, well behaved, happy child at all other times. I can take him to restaurants and the movies and over to others houses, where he is welcomed because he is so well behaved. He has certain triggers that set him off, certain things he does not have the ability to handle. His school has be very involved in his treatment since his diagnosis. He would not be doing as well as he is in school if they weren't. But without understanding the disorder and the fits that can go with it, you can never even begin to imagine what destruction and damage a small child can cause in the span of a few minutes. Nor can you begin to understand the helplessness of adults who witness such fits. I do not know how the cop came to be involved. But I suspect that had a cop witnessed some of my child's behavior and if the teachers and school administrators were failing to remove my child from the room, I would not be upset at the cop for acting in the best interest of the other children. As for those asking where the parents were, in my state, the protocol is to make the situation safe and then call the parents in. This is in the best interest of the other children and the staff. Obviously the situation wasn't safe yet. My question isn't why the cop did what he did, that I understand. My question is why didn't the school remove the child to a safe room? Why wasn't the child restrained already?

Teresa - posted on 05/05/2012

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Worse things have happened to other 6 year olds. I don't think handcuffing her was wrong. Hopefully it made her think a little bit and next time she might not get so out of control.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 05/03/2012

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Crystal---The only ones who think this is wrong are the parents who are afraid THEIR child will be next. So stop and ask what you are doing wrong that you have to be afraid. It is not the good kids in trouble.

HUH??

Sorry, I think it is WRONG and it has nothing to do with my kids. ;) My kids would never ever act this way. Yes, I said never ever, because it is what I mean. They are disciplined, they have no reason to act this way.

No 6 year old deserves to be treated like a criminal. They do not have the ability to correctly assert their feelings. This kid is acting out for a reason! How about we just disengage and throw her to the wolves? Would that make her problems go away? They may as well of done just that.

Crystal - posted on 05/03/2012

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If my child was ever to be put into a spot like this it aint the handcuffs that is their big problem. It's me when thay get home. Can you say BOOTCAMP? No matter how old if my child pulled what that little girl did then they would have no life till collage.

The only ones who think this is wrong are the parents who are afraid THEIR child will be next. So stop and ask what you are doing wrong that you have to be afraid. It is not the good kids in trouble.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/28/2012

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Well, then if you do not expect them to be charged, they shouldn't be handcuffed and put into the back of a cruiser.

THAT is also being treated like a criminal.

Janice - posted on 04/28/2012

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I would be very upset if my child was throwing a fit so bad that she or he needed to be handcuffed. I would be more focused on why my child was so upset. Instead crying to the media I would be trying to get my daughter help. I probably would be quite mad if they were transported and charged. That is where I think it went too far. If being handcuffed will stop a child including my own from hurting others that is okay, but a six year old should not be treated like an actual criminal by being charged and going to the station.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/28/2012

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It honestly surprises me how many mothers agree with a 6 year old being handcuffed, put in the back of a cruiser, placed in a holding cell (which cannot be confirmed or denied) and how do they calm down a child that is already throwing a tantrum? Give her a coke that is full of sugar and caffeine. Way to go.

You all would be fine to see your child treated like this if throwing a fit? I certainly would not be.

Francine - posted on 04/27/2012

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I taught special Ed I had a severely emotionally disturbed 5 year old in my class. I had two aides that were also trained in restraint. This child would become out of control to the point of smashing anything in his path. He would also bang his head on the ground. He was a danger to himself and my other students. We had a classroom plan just for this student he was often restrained 2-3 times a week. The school psychologist as well as other professionals were consulted. We tried to keep him at our school but finally had to find another placement.

TINA - posted on 04/27/2012

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I just want to add that not onlymdid this child act absolutly ridiculous her parents where not anywhere to be found. Her aunt had to pick her up. I think that the police officer was corrct on how he acted and that is better than what i would have and that is whoop her ass!

Tracey - posted on 04/26/2012

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Just wondering do all police stations have rape victim rooms or child protection rooms, which would have soft furnishings and probably a more suitable place to put this child where she could be observed until an adult came to collect her?

All the photos of the family I have seen show the parents wearing large crosses, are they trying to prove they are good christian parents and therefore have an angelic can-do-no-wrong daughter? Which is not a dig at parents of any religion - just that the crosses look out of proportion in these particular photos.

[deleted account]

i haven't read all 11 pages of comments, but to me the handcuffs aren't so bad.

If I was a teacher or a cop, I'd rather put the cuffs on and stand back instead of trying to "bear hug" a kid in the middle of a huge freakout.

I remember putting my back out terribly trying to put my 4 year old son into his room for time out. He was only 4 and he was just stuggling a bit. I agree with the comments above saying the poor cop was in a tricky situation and the cuffs seem like a reasonable response in the spur of the moment.

There are far worse things going on to kids in the world than being handcuffed! Let's keep some perspective!

Jodi - posted on 04/25/2012

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My sister is a cop in the Twin Cities. She has never been called to a *school* but she has been called to a field trip to a zoo once, and when she worked in Iowa, once to a museum for children who were completely out of control. Both times she restrained the children (she's trained for this since she volunteered for years at a special kids camp), one time the parents were fine, but the department was pissed she was so "physical" with the child, the other time the department was fine with it, but the parents were pissed. She told me this cop was screwed no matter what he did, and that he faces less repercussions cuffing the kid than restraining the kid.



She didn't have much to say about the teachers, nor do I, I'm not the one who has to deal with 20-30 6 year olds, one of whom is going ape-shit crazy. I don't blame the teacher for calling the cops, sure beats beating the kid if she's understaffed, overwhelmed and out of options.



As for putting the kid in the principles office or guidance counselors office, in my school growing up, there were scissors, staplers, stapler removers, pencils, pens, letter openers, heavy books, potted plants, picture frames. I'd much rather, as a parent, they NOT put my raging child into a room with all that in such a confined space.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/25/2012

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Sure, Tabitha, some kids throw tantrums.. No where did I say they didn't. ;)



They do not throw fits of rage, as this child did, for no damn good reason.



I also have my own opinion on why kids throw tantrums and continue to do so. However, you can do your own research, there.

Tabitha - posted on 04/25/2012

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If it is direct reply to another's then state that in your post. Regardless it was offensive no matter who it is in response to. I have raised my children VERY WELL and my 3 year throws tantrums from hell. I know for a fact that i am doing every right in my parenting. We cannot assume that because a child misbehaves it is the parents doing.You are making it sound that way which is a bit off-putting for some. And i know it is your "opinion" and it is just that an "opinion." It is a "fact" that many children at certain stages in their life cannot control their emotions and that is not of any fault of the parents what so ever. You can defend your opinion simply because your children are some of the rare few that do not throw tantrums, but i do not see why you cant acknowledge the absolute PROVEN FACT that some kids just throw tantrums.

Mary Renee - posted on 04/25/2012

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I think there needs to be some changes in policy and that probably the sue-happy nature of our country probably led to this. I remember one time we were taking our young kindergarteners on a field trip. There was one child that was having a hard time, a handsome charming little boy that was acting out excessively due to the upheaval in his life due to his parent's divorce. He was always clean, he wasn't abused, but lets face it, it's hard to be kid and have little to no control over your life. That's why even the best kid throw tantrums.



Anyway, we were crossing the street to a museum when he decided he wanted to eat his lunch. I said we were eating lunch in about an hour. Within a blink of an eye he was throwing a tantrum, throwing himself on the ground in the middle of the street kicking and screaming and refusing to move up even though the traffic light was changing to yellow.



You know what I did? I did not call the police. I plucked him up right where he was lying and carried him kicking and screaming across the street. It was a no brainer. Other times he was upset and said he wanted to die and would ram his head into the concrete walls of the building. Did I call the police? Did I sit there and continue to allow him to hit his head for fear of a lawsuit. No. I took him to another room. The change of location was enough to calm him enough that he stopped.



In my opinion, the police do not need to be called on a 6 year old. Ever. There is nothing the police can do for a six year old that another full grown adult can do, except handcuff them, which is the wrong reaction.



Maybe the problem is that we don't have enough teachers and teacher's aides in the classroom. That way if a six year old was acting out, instead of just throwing their hand in the air and sticking their thumb up their butts, one teacher can stay with the rest of the children and the other can remove the child from the classroom. Kick and screaming if necessary. I don't think excessive restraint should be used on children (i.e. handcuffs) but yeah, if a child that young, still fairly new to "reason" and "logic" you pick them up and remove them to another room, preferably empty. As a parent, I would be far more opposed to someone handcuffing my daughter than I would to someone picking up my daughter and moving her to a location where she couldn't harm herself and others.



What amazing me about this story and some of these comments is that IT'S A SIX YEAR OLD!



First of all, she isn't an adult. Her brain isn't fully formed yet. All children have different temperaments, some are more passionate than others. Her actions are forgivable at this age. She isn't a bad kid or a bad seed or a bad apple. She's just a six year old. And you can't just automatically assume she has horrible parents. She might or she might not. I dare anyone to find me a six year old who has NEVER acted out in an unreasonable or excessive matter.





Secondly, she's small. I have yet to meet a six year old who is five foot six and 200 pounds. Why was this little girl SO able to overwhelm the teacher and administrators that they felt the need to call the police. She's not a rabid dog! She's a child. An adult (or several) should be able to come up with something better than police and handcuffs. And before I'm asked, I'll say that involves taking the child to another room until she calms down. Yes. Physically picking the child up and taking her to another room.



I think the teachers and administration failed horribly in this case, and the cop acted even more excessively than the six year old, only he's an adult and doesn't have the defense of an immature brain. I know what happened. She talked back to him like no other adult would and he was power tripping and handcuffed her. Stupid stupid stupid.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/25/2012

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Tabitha--- you can perceive it as you may. I stand behind my comment. I have never had such an issue and I can only say it is due to my ability to discipline and set boundaries that have immediate consequence. I can say with definite, since I do not raise my children as my mother raised me, my children are well behaved, are they perfect? Absolutely not. I can also say my children would never ever act as this child did in the OP. Never. This child has been failed not only by her parents but by the education and criminal system too.



In addition, that comment you so kindly and generously took out of context was in direct reply to another's. Again, do with it as you may.

Tabitha - posted on 04/25/2012

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"I have never ever had either of my children throw any type of tantrum. Why? Because I raise them well. I raise them unlike my mother raised me. I do discipline my children and they listen. Obviously I get it, otherwise I would not have the respectful, loving, sweet children I have. "





I find this statement extremely offensive to any mother. On your assumption that any child that throws a fit is not "raised well" You are really off your mark and that statement alone is very presumptious and naive.

Janice - posted on 04/25/2012

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Mirella - I really appreciate your detailed explanation of how you think the situation should have been handled. I agree with you that this may have been the best way to handle the situation. Unfortunately, too many schools do not have anyone in the building that is trained to know what to do in these situations.

Janice - posted on 04/25/2012

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Meme at the schools in which Megan was speaking of the teachers are specially trained to deal with violent outbursts. The average teacher or administrator does not have this training. And while we may agree that maybe such training should be standard, the fact is that it is not. The school had 3 choices

1. let the girl continue to freak out and possibly destroy more property.

2. try to physically restrain the girl which could result in an injury to the child which could turn into a lawsuit.

3. call the police and let them handle it.



Additionally, you have no clue how long this girl was upset for and you have no clue how long it takes for police to arrive. In a the small city where I went to high school the police were always close by the schools and could often arrive in under 5 minutes.



And I am guessing CPS is different in Canada because CPS is called when there are signs of abuse or neglect. IF there were signs and the school did call it would take weeks to get the family evaluated unless there was imminent danger. And if they CPS investigated and the only problem was that these parents are overly permissive than nothing would be done and the case closed.



Lastly, we have all speculated that the parents in this case don't really give a shit. Maybe, just maybe the school was sick of this kid constantly throwing fits and getting no where with the parents and they thought maybe the whole family would take it more seriously if the brought in the police.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/25/2012

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I agree Mirella. The police should have NEVER been involved. It is beside me of how a school can be so fucked up and have no ability or sense to help calm down a 6 year old. Pisses me off.

Mirella Joan - posted on 04/25/2012

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I went in on my emails and saw this article and read some of the comments some parents wrote and I am very very unhappy about what some of those mothers said how could they agree with what they did, she is 6 not 16 and if they are there just to get money then don’t work with kids. I have worked with children for 15 years and studied child psychology for 10 so if you know what you’re talking about then write something of value if not then don’t write nothing at all.

If a child gets that way what they should of done was phoned the parents first then get the nurse just in case of an emergency then get one teacher she likes then get that teacher to wrap her arms around her and just hold on and huge her that will calm her down after 5 to 15 min but she must just hold her tight and tell her that she’s going to be ok and that she’s going to be safe in her arms but don’t let go and that child will calm the child down and then if the little girl has a problem she will tell only the person that held her and then they must listen not phone the police are they Mad. Where did they go to school that they think that was the right thing to do.

I am so upset with those people how could they.
Kind regards
Dr Mirella Visser

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/25/2012

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No, I most definitely do NOT think it is the first time this child did something like this. Even better reason for the school to have had an action in place to properly, correctly and quickly take control as an authority figure.



If my kid ended up hurt because the school was sitting around picking their ass until the cops showed up, bet your bottom dollar I would be pissed. The school should have stepped in early and stopped this child. I am sorry but anyone that thinks, in most cases, a cop is just right outside, is not thinking clearly. It takes time for a cop to show up AND they did call the parents 6 times before calling the cops. So, unfortunately my kid would have already been hurt. This kid was able to reek some havoc, this tells me, there was not much urgency nor effort in getting her to stop. She is 6. She is not a half or full grown teen.



No one is going to change my opinion. The school is the parentis in control when children are in their presence, they need to maintain the ability to control and have actions in place to do so. They needed to resolve/stop this action immediately and call CPS. If CPS required the police, so be it.



No one can tell me that by the time the police showed up, this girl was still on a rampage.



Megan---Meme, as I've said on here before I went to a school in upstate NY where there were children with emotional and behaivour problems and they were restrained.



How were they restrained? The police came and restrained them with handcuffs? Or was it a schools duty to do so?

Crystal - posted on 04/25/2012

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It's not as cut and dry as everyone thinks. Our schools can no longer even hold onto a child to stop them from hurting them selfs for the treat of being sued by the parents. Most parents in todays world think telling their kids no is going to hurt them so they let them do as they please. So we end up with kids who hit, kick and bite. Along with thowing things and parents who when called get upset because how dear you tell them they can't.



I have seen this again and again in my kids schools and when talking to others they say the same. If parents could take time off of work and help out at the schools they would see some of the things that they don't tell you about.



So calling the cops to help restain a child from hurting them selfs and others is not so bad. Would everyone be this upset if it was your child next time who gets hurt when some child flys off the deepend and not the staff. And any one thinking but did they call the parents need to stop and think. Do you really think this is the first and only time this child did something like this. She was all angel ALL year till now?

[deleted account]

I feel that the system failed the child, but more importantly her parents failed her. I think her behaviour was a reflection of what happens at home and it's sad that she was left to believe that such behaviour is acceptable. From the sounds of it, she probably has anger management issues. By the age of 6 a child knows right from wrong if they are properly taught values at home. However, having said this, the system played a big role in failing the child. I feel she should have been maybe removed from the class, put in a separate room and her parents called. The teachers alone can't be responsible for imparting good behaviour and discipline on children. Discipline should be enforced by the parents at home, so that when the child goes out to school, or any public place for that matter, behaviour is not an issue. Children need to be nurtured, loved but also taught and guided. Where was the guidance for Selicia. The parents are more to blame than anyone else. I'm a mother of 3 boys, whom are by no means perfect, but I guide them and teach them, I want them to grow up to be respectable adults and guidance starts from early on in life. A young tree needs to be bound right in order to grow sturdy and straight, it's the same concept with children.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 04/23/2012

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Meme, as I've said on here before I went to a school in upstate NY where there were children with emotional and behaivour problems and they were restrained. A child having a melt down like this child was (and I have witnessed first hand temper tantrums like this from small 9 and 10 year olds having issues like this) is hardly the same as carrying a medium sized dog.

As Janice has said there are schools (like the one I was in for 3 years) where children who act out like this girl can attend and where the teachers know how to take care of this type of behaivour. This child needs an evaulation to see why she's acting the way she is because it isn't normal behaivour.

Janice - posted on 04/23/2012

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Meme -A kicking screaming, biting 6 year-old is not the same as carrying your dog!

I have actually been in classrooms with five and six year old children. I have seen them go into a rage. (I'm thinking of 2 boys in particular in different classrooms) I have made the effort to pick them up and remove them from the area of other children. In order to do this you must be forceful. And it completely possible to unintentionally hurt a child while trying to just get them to a "safer" place. I was actually told to let the child destroy things and just move the other children because removing the 'wild child' is too risky. Also most schools do not have extra rooms. The guidance counselor's room is still full of stuff.



Those working with students with special needs are typically trained to deal with these situations and often parents of children who have violent pasts sign waivers that allow the teachers or administrators to restrain them if necessary. However, this is not true for the typical teacher with typical students.



While I agree that taking her to the station was completely unnecessary, I understand why the police were called to restrain this girl.



Of course it would have been better if someone in the school could have calmed her down, but being handcuffed is not that bad.

Hope - posted on 04/23/2012

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I think we can all sit behind our computers and say what we would do in that situation but unless we were one of the people in the room with that girl, we have no place to say who was and who was not in the right. I like to my faith in the school and the police that the act in the best interest not only of the girl but of all the other people involved in this event.
I can only image the reason the people were call was because they had try to call the parents and all attempts made to calm her were not working. She was a danger to both herself and everyone else and needed to be removed so none, including the girl were hurt.
If my child was doing the same and for some reason I was not contactable. if my child was putting other people at risk and there was no calming him down. If he had already caused damage and injured someone. I would saddened at the thought that my child had gone so out of control that the police needed to be called.

Hope - posted on 04/23/2012

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For a start I have seen pictures of her and she is not an average 6 year old.

I have worked in childcare. I have never seen a child act like this. But I would have called the police because the most important thing is everyones safety.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/23/2012

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Last I checked this is what the guidance counsellor room is for and the principles room. She wasn't raging with rabies for crying out loud. Seriously. I think it is absurd that adults don't think they could contain and calm down a pissed off child.



ETA:

I don't even think they tried.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/23/2012

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No one said she shouldn't end up wit consequences. She most definitely should. However, please explain how being handcuffed, brought to the police station, given a Coke and then having the parents pick her up is a consequence that she will learn from.

I think her parents need some lessons in how to teach, guide and discipline their children. She would not have acted out like this if her home life was decent.

Hope - posted on 04/23/2012

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In a school where are you going to find an empty room. With no desks, no chairs, no selves and you can not leave a 6 year old alone, unsupervised in a room.

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