If you could turn back time...

Ez - posted on 08/26/2010 ( 63 moms have responded )

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.. what, if anything, would you change about your pregnancy, birth and early months with your baby?

Indulge my curiosity people!

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Isobel - posted on 08/28/2010

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I'm intentionally not looking at the other responses first.

-I would have waited longer before being induced with my first.
-I would have tried not to gain 70 pounds with the first...
-I think with my second, I would've left his father the minute I found out I was pregnant...but then hind sight is 20/20 and I didn't know then what I know now

and we are who we are because we did what we did :)

Sara - posted on 08/26/2010

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Pregnancy -- I would have gone to a different doctor.

Delivery-- again, wished I would have had a different doctor.

Early months-- Ro had colic. I wish I would have gone to the Ped about it sooner because it turned out that it was something that could be dealt with, I didn't have to just put up with it. I also would have gotten help sooner for the PND I had...it would have made the first few months a lot better.

[deleted account]

I would have exercised more during pregnancy and stressed a lot less about breastfeeding... Stress prevented me from breastfeeding for more than a month...

This conversation has been closed to further comments

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Jacquie - posted on 08/30/2010

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For my second, I would have had a home-birth. Doctors and nurses in my area aren't very supportive about the Bradley Method and deciding my labor had stalled (translation: you are taking too long to have this baby and we want the bed) they gave me three doses of pitocin. I showed them though, I still declined the pain meds, although it was excruciating and instead cussed every single person out there (except my poor husband). I had my daughter and literally walked out. I don't think they want me back there anyway :)

Emma Louise - posted on 08/30/2010

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if i could turn back time, i'd go backto when my 1st born son was here with us..he passed away at 16 weeks old. We didnt get to have all the first's with him like we have with our other 4 boys...just to hear his cry again, or to see his smile one more time would be enough for me xxx

Rosie - posted on 08/29/2010

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oh and emma not having pictures of the child directly after coming out, isn't such a bad thing, lol!! my husband got a bit picture happy and we ended up with a couple of pictures of a HUGE vag with an umbilical cord coming out of it attached to my son still. i'm sure the photo developers at walmart had a gay ole time looking at those, lol!

Rosie - posted on 08/29/2010

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aah yea laura, going back to work 8 days afterwards is beyond awesome!! i went back 2 weeks afterwards and i though that was bad, my stitches were infected, and i had torn from my pisser to my pooper so it wasn't just a few stitches to be infected. holy hell, i'm surprised i could move at all, let alone work!! all thanks to my glorious ex, who didn't help financially or physically. but you are definitely right, we wouldn't have learned and know the things we do now, so i don't regret it at all. :)

Nikki - posted on 08/29/2010

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I wouldnt have eaten like OCTOmom and gained 75lbs
I wouldnt have had visitors til a couple days after, everyone showed up at 11am after I gave birth at 5am and hadnt slept in 2 days I was an absolute mess.
Besides that couldnt be happier Im head over heels for my little boy and getting ready to do it all over again

Isobel - posted on 08/28/2010

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ok, Jodi, after my second, I had to go back to work after 8 days cause my ex was a tool :(

Katherine - posted on 08/28/2010

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I would have REFUSED induction. Had I not been induced I would have been able to go natural.

I would have tried even harder to get my first to latch. I was too stressed and ended up pumping, but now that I know you just have to relax....I would have tried again and again.

I would have slept when my first did.

I never would have used a pacifier, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

I would have left the mess like everyone told me to instead of trying to be a new mom AND supermom.

You know how they tell you to push like you're having a huge "BM?" I would have ignored that. Ugh That hurt.





I wouldn't change anything else. I think if those things were different though I wouldn't have learned for my second.......

Charlie - posted on 08/28/2010

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Oh i was so upset i left Harry's placenta at the hospital , Traditionally we bury it with a tree .

Krista - posted on 08/28/2010

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Oh, and I wouldn't have been so worried about pooping during delivery. Don't laugh -- I spend a LOT of mental energy really worrying that I was going to poop while pushing.

I have no idea if I did or not. And if I did at the time, I sure as hell didn't notice or care -- a pink, confetti-spewing elephant could have marched out of my ass at that point and I probably wouldn't have noticed.

Rosie - posted on 08/28/2010

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i donated grants cord blood sara! i wish i would've done it with the other 2, but i wasn't asked and there were lots of years inbetween my births, i just didn't think of it. i wish i would've done that with the other 2.

[deleted account]

Less epidural. Not NONE, but less. I felt like a crazy person. Ended up with a c-section (which couldn't be helped so not including that in the thing I would change) so the epidural ended up being necessary. But if I could have delivered vaginally like I had planned, I would have done less epidural.



I would have also gotten the cord blood. Meant to. But forgot. I will do that this time around.



Restrict visitors. Seriously. I went into labor at 3pm, had the baby via c-section at 11:38 pm, got the baby at 1:30 am, breastfed at 2 am, 4 am, 6 am, morning rounds at 6:30 am, breastfed at 8 am, first visitor at 10 am. SERIOUSLY??!! I had a baby and major abdominal surgery at midnight and you think I want to have a nice little 2 hour visit first thing in the morning? And it didn't stop. All. Day. The next day my husband put a "no visitors" sign on the door. Some people got mad (my aunt) but oh well. I was exhausted.

Jenny - posted on 08/28/2010

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Not much I would change. My first was breech and a planned C-section. My second was also a planned C section as I wanted to get fixed at the same time.

I would not agree to allow the student nurse to put in my epidural with my second. It took almost 3 minutes. I figured sombody's got to be first, might as well be me. Never again.

I would have reviwed my benefit plan closer and opted for the tummy tuck I could have got for free while I was open.

I would have told my roomate's husband in our semi-private to get the hell out when midnight rolled around and he's still there not shutting the hell up.

Johnny - posted on 08/28/2010

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Oh, I also would have had my husband rescue me from the hospital. They were holding me prisoner and wouldn't let me go home. 4 days in a 6ft x 9ft (yes, we measured) room with a baby, husband, and a visitor (would you like a picture? can we take some blood? would you like snacks?) every 15 minutes day and night. Not because anything was wrong with me but because the doctor was too busy to come to do the discharge visit. Yeah, there's a money saver. I should have just taken the baby and ran. People wonder why I want a home birth next time.

[deleted account]

I wouldn't have taken Nyquil the first month...I thought I had the flu, not pregnant.
I would have surrounded myself with more supportive people. I worked with an ugly mean old woman who put down my EVERY decision.
I would NOT have been doing abdominal exercises like before pregnancy. Overworking those muscles while my belly grew damaged my beautiful little pre-pregnancy six pack.
I would NOT have bought half the crap I did. I bought every single thing I could get my hands on for breastfeeding, then learned when the baby came that all he cared about was the boobs...and I already OWNED those! The breastpump, the nipple shields...even the boppy pillow were all useless.
I would have put bumper pads on my furniture beFORE he started walking...he has a scar on his cheek now because his mama is so stoopid.
I would have started my "makeover" sooner. I got my hair cut in a drastic change...I got new clothes that fit my new wider body...too late. I should have done these things to perk myself back up a YEAR ago....I spent way too long wandering around looking like a dishrag....and killing my OWN self esteem.
I would have fought harder when my husband's friend bullied him into giving my 3 week old a bottle of water. He projectile vomited it three feet! I would not have let her bully me into a decision I wasn't comfortable with.. I had more education than her and I KNOW better. Now I take advice with a grain of salt....and no water.
I wouldn't have bought clothes that exclusively say "6 to 9 months" It took me too long to understand that baby clothes are NOT all sized the same. Today's outfit could be for a 6 month old...tomorrow's outfit might say for 18 months. I have entirely TOO many clothes in the goodwill bins that never even saw his butt.
I would have turned around and gone back to the birth center immediately...I would have liked to labored in the big beautiful birthing tub....instead I labored alone in my bedroom on my hands and knees with no fun bubbles. :(

This is a GREAT question! I could go on forever! LOL! All we can do is live and learn, right?

Mary - posted on 08/28/2010

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I'm with Krista E - I wish like hell I would have put my foot down about visitors...particularly my in-laws, who stayed at our house for 3 days, starting the the day we got home from the hospital. It was a nightmare for me...I had a newborn who cried every 2 hours, I became pre-eclamptic on day 5 after delivery, AND I had house guests who hated my dogs! The second night of their stay, I locked myself in the bedroom with her and sobbed uncontrollably for an hour...and my poor stupid husband was torn between helping me, and keeping his parents happy. I still get a little steamed when I think back on it =(

As for labor, and the birth itself...I wouldn't change a thing. It was an absolutely magical experience (hurling and all!)...it was the day my deepest, most treasured dream came true. I'm not saying it was painless or easy, but I had waited so long to hold my own baby in my arms, that how she got there was really of secondary concern to me.

Becky - posted on 08/27/2010

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With my first, I would've taken off work sooner. I worked up to the day I was induced with him - unintentionally, as I had to be induced at 37 weeks because I had high blood pressure. I was planning to quit work 10 days before he was due. My mom told me I should take a month, and I wish I would've listened to her, especially because I was sooo sick in the 3rd trimester. Maybe then I wouldn't have gotten the high blood pressure. I wish I would've refused the epidural, only because I was scared into getting it when I didn't need it, he was born less than 10 minutes later, so it was just a waste. I would've gotten more help with breastfeeding too. I made it through to 14 months, but the first 2 were agony, and maybe that could've been avoided. I also would've had a different dr. I didn't think the one I had listened to me or took me seriously when I expressed concerns. I wish I would've known about the clinic I went to with my 2nd when I was pregnant with my first, I loved them!
With my 2nd, I don't think there's really anything I would've changed. My husband would say leaving a little more than 20 minutes to spare with getting to the hospital, but I wouldn't actually change that. It was perfect for me - got there, had the baby, no time for anyone to pressure me into anything I didn't really want!

[deleted account]

Oh god if I could have changed EVERYTHING, and I truly mean EVERYTHING, I know in my hear that I would have more than 1 child-hell I'd have 3-4 kids. I'd even contemplate the idea of maybe, possibly being a SAHM.

Louise - posted on 08/27/2010

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I was 38 with with my youngest daughter she caused alsorts of problems and I ended up unable to walk for 4 months due to a split pelvis. Talk about agony. All my children were woopers with Abbie being the smallest at 9lb 30z 5 weeks early!. I would of had a team of helpers on standby as I ended up with an emergency c section and no after care. It was a very truamatic birth and was enough to put me off having any more. When Abbie was finally here she did nothing but scream for 10 weeks and I just thought I had a grumpy baby but she was suffering with acid reflux from the milk. I wish I had broken down in the doctors surgery weeks before to get the help that she needed. I thought it was me not being able to cope but the poor little might needed medication.

Sarah - posted on 08/27/2010

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Always amazes me that no-one clicked that she was breech a bit earlier! I was checked over by about a million different people too.....you would have thought someone would have noticed! haha!

My eldest was back to back! Guess my kids are just awkward! (still are!)
;)

Erin - posted on 08/26/2010

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Really the only thing I would change is trying to breastfeed longer. I was so overwhelmed and upset that I couldn't get him to latch on that I just gave up and started pumping for 4 weeks. The next one will be breastfed Damnit!! HAHA!
Otherthan than that, it was a good pregnancy with a good C-section to go along with it.

Oh and Sarah, they tried to induce me too and they figured out he was breech, BUT caught it before they started :P

Ez - posted on 08/26/2010

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I only have two taken in early labour, and then nothing til she came out :( Although at least I do have one of our first moments together.

Stifler's - posted on 08/26/2010

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I don't have any photos of when he just came out or anything, it's sad because everyone else I know does lol

Krista - posted on 08/26/2010

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What would I change?

Pregnancy: Nothing, really. I wish I hadn't had gestational diabetes, but that's not really something that I could go back and actually do differently. And it DID force me to eat a hell of a lot more healthfully than I probably would have otherwise.

Birth: Hoo boy. I wish I hadn't gone to the hospital right away. I knew that my water was leaking a bit, but I wasn't having any contractions at all. I would have been so much more comfortable (and less bored!) waiting at home than sitting in a hospital room. In retrospect, I also wish I'd had someone videotaping the birth. I was so delirious and exhausted that my memory of seeing Sam for the first time is really fuzzy. I wish I could re-see it.

Post: I wish I hadn't been too shy to ask for a prescription for Domperidone. It might have made a big difference in my milk production. As is, I wound up only producing a tiny bit and threw in the towel after 6 weeks. I also wish I had enforced a "no visitors" rule for the first two weeks. I was so tired and hormonal and trying desperately to nurse and pump round the clock, and we had SO many visitors coming to see the baby, and I just wanted them all to go the hell home so that I could pump. It really stressed me out.

Charlie - posted on 08/26/2010

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with Jamie saluting me in a Navy uniform while i thrash out the song into my hairbrush .........

[deleted account]

I know Erin I couldn't believe it either and he was my first - they have told me when I have another that as soon as I feel a twinge I must go staraight to the hospital and insist I have to stay and not go home regardless of how dilated I am because I dilated 9cm (I was 1cm from 32 wks) in less than half an hour! madness :-)

Thanks Krista now your adding to my mental image of Loureen lassooing in ASSLESS fishnets!

hahahaha

[deleted account]

Loureen your on fire tonight I have a mental image to go with that bloody song of you stradling your couch in fishnets...and lassooing for some reason LMAO!!!!

[deleted account]

What would I have done differently?

During my pregnancy...I would not have gone to Stafford hospital when I thought I was having a miscarriage I would have got in my car and drove the hour back to my local hospital! I had a nightmare there which is a really long story but in shorthand I was shut away in a cubicle for 2 hours completely alone, then my dad was told I'd had a miscarriage (not true), a doctor stabbed me with a needle in random places 3 times and drew NO blood (then tried to again when I had removed my permission - I had to pull my arm out his way so he didn't), I was moved to a ward 5 hours after arriving (but still nothing else was done), then 7 hours after I arrived I was told there was nothing they could do now because the scan dept had closed until mon (it was fri). I had a hissy fit and miraculously they managed to scan me all was fine but I had a shit load of stress for nothing!

Birth...Nothing I had a 45 min labour with only gas and air (as I wanted, although I did want water birth but couldn't because I had pre-e and was really ill).

Early months...nothing I can think of. Maybe stress less over bf because I struggled...but maybe not.

Charlie - posted on 08/26/2010

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makes me want to throw on some fishnets and straddle the couch .

[deleted account]

Thanks A LOT Sara and Loureen now *I* can't get THAT bloody song out of MY head! I will be dancing around and singing it soon in the delirous mood I'm in tonight (I don't quite know what's wrong with me but I am babbling a lot - sorry girls) gqtm

Jennifer - posted on 08/26/2010

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my actual pregnancy was fantastic, though i did gain more weight than i intended.

i would have chosen a different midwife. the one i went with was through the hospital i delivered at and i honestly saw no difference between her, and a regular OB/GYN. the reason i went with her was because when i first found out i was pregnant, my mother in law told me that our area did not have private midwives, or a birthing center and because i didn't have a computer to do my own research, i trusted her to be right...which she wasn't. 8 months or so after i had my son i found a birthing center near me, and a midwife who sounded like everything i would have wanted.

i also wish i hadn't been induced...which goes along with wishing i had found a different midwife. i hated being tethered to the bed, and nurses coming in every 5 minutes to check on me. the whole birthing experience was so opposite what i wanted. i did have a perfectly healthy baby boy, though and thats the most important.

and lastly, i would have hired a lactation consultant, gone to LLL meetings, and worked harder to get my son to take the boob. i have been exclusively pumping breastmilk for my son for the past 8 months and i hate it but i refuse to formula feed so we press onward. it is such a hassle.

September - posted on 08/26/2010

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I would not change a thing! :) I've used my first pregnancy/birth and early months with our son as a time to grow and learn, thus being more prepared for our 2nd. :)

Charlie - posted on 08/26/2010

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Id take back all the things that i told you and you'd STAAAAAAY , if i could reach the stars , id give them all to you ...........Bahahaha

Charlie - posted on 08/26/2010

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Pregnancy - with my last son i would have got a better doctor .
With Cooper nothing he was a dream pregnancy .

Birth - nothing .

Early years - with my first son i would have seeked treatment for PND earlier instead of try and " get through it " and i would have breastfed Cooper longer .

Ez - posted on 08/26/2010

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GAH it just lost my post.



OK mine is kind of long so I apologize in advance lol.



I would have insisted on continuing my care with the midwives in the Birthing Suite, rather than transferring to an OB when my fundal height and Milla's EFW went off through the roof. I would have hired a doula. I would have taken an iron supplement as well as the normal pre-natals, and hopefully avoided the severe anaemia after delivery that needed a transfusion and severely restricted my ability to BF for long. And I would have not gained so much weight!!



My birth was a debacle, so the first thing I would change is that I would have waited til the absolute last minute to go to hospital. I went in at 4cm, ctx 5mins apart and was immediately put 'on the clock', when I could have quite happily managed at home for longer. I would have refused them breaking my water because I 'stalled' for a couple of hours at 5cm. The AROM sent everything into chaos within a few minutes (vomiting and fainting) which compromised my ability to stay upright and mobile. And most of all, I would have told the OB to shove his forceos where the sun don't shine, and demand more time pushing on my own. Hospital policy be damned.



The only thing I'd really change post-natally is that I wish I had relaxed into it a bit sooner. It took me a few weeks of being bombarded with advice, before I realised I could just ignore it all and do what felt right.

Ava - posted on 08/26/2010

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There's a lot of things I would do differently, mostly about my relationship during that time and now; not a thing with my daughter herself.

Tah - posted on 08/26/2010

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pushed the first one back 10 years.....25 is a good age for a first i think....15 after having sex once..not so much..

Rosie - posted on 08/26/2010

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i would've exercised more, and did kegel exercises, with all 3. i want to say i wish i would've ate less, but i was BEYOND hungry, i would vomit if i didn't eat. not much i could've done about it, although i do wish i would've ate healthier. especially with my last one. i lived at hardees.
after they were born i wish i would've gotten help with my PPD. especially with grant, i was a miserable, almost psychotic fool. i could've hurt my child.
other than that, i can't think of anything.

Marabeth - posted on 08/26/2010

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i wouldn't have let my obstetrician break my waters. i had a great labor and delivery but can't help but wonder if i wouldn't have asked for the epidural at 7cm if the labor didn't change so abruptly as soon as he poked his little tool into me.

Sara - posted on 08/26/2010

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Thanks a lot for the name of this thread, Erin. Now I can't get that Cher song out of my head...:P

Jannine - posted on 08/26/2010

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If i could turn back time.. during my pregnancy, i would do proper exercise like walking so that when the time of delivery comes...it wouldn't be so difficult for me.

Johnny - posted on 08/26/2010

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I would have hired my own private lactation consultant to help me from day one and not rely on the advice of the nurses in the hospital who's advice contradicted each other and most of whom were convinced I would fail. The added expense would have saved me money, time, and stress in the end.

For the birth, I would have insisted that the doula and the midwife come to my house and check on me like they were supposed to. I was being overly polite and "didn't want to inconvenience anyone". Big mistake. I needed the help & support and I was alone after my husband passed out (except for my kittens) for 10 hours. I think the stress really fouled up my labour.

Sarah - posted on 08/26/2010

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No-one picked up the fact she was breech through the whole pregnancy. It was only once I was 14 days overdue, went in, had my waters broken and they did an internal and realised she was breech!!
Ah well, all's well that ends well :)

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