Resilience

Nicole - posted on 01/19/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Do you consider yourself resilient?
If so, do you think resilience is an inner trait you possess or a skill you've acquired?

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Amber - posted on 01/20/2011

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i am incredibly resilient, for many reasons. some that are too private too discuss :) but resilience, i think, is a bit of both. something you're born with, a fire to perservere, and something you aquire, the skills to handle situations appropriately.

Meghan - posted on 01/19/2011

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I want to say it is mostly a trait you possess. A child who is raised with nothing but the "fight or flight" response could handle adult stresses better. But then again they could develop a lot of anxiety and be worn out by adulthood. With that being said, there is a certain amount of wisdom, diplomacy and strength we acquire through experience. The issues I dealt with growing up prepared me in some way for my issues in early adulthood...but I think my resilience has also made it too easy to put up walls and push people away. It can be a slippery slope imo

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Kelly, i'd say that you are very resiliant.
I'd like to think i am but i'm only 24 so we will see.

Krista - posted on 01/20/2011

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I think I'm fairly resilient. I have, for the most part led a very fortunate life, but on the occasions when tragedy has struck, I usually get back on my feet pretty quickly. I'm not one to dwell, I guess. And if I AM having a hard time getting over something, I talk to someone and try to improve my coping skills.

Nicole - posted on 01/20/2011

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I agree. That is one problem that comes with viewing resilience as a personality trait. No one demonstrates resilience in every area of their life, all of the time.That is one of the things that leads me to believe that resilience is the result of a combination of factors in someone's life. When these influences shift or change, it affects an individuals resilience.

[deleted account]

"A child who is raised with nothing but the "fight or flight" response could handle adult stresses better. But then again they could develop a lot of anxiety and be worn out by adulthood." Meghan Anger



I think that is what happened to me...most of you know that despite growing up mostly homeless, having a meth addicted dad, and battling cancer, Graves, and Anorexia, I still managed to go to college, build a profitable business from my hospital bed, and end up an upper-middle class sahm. I consider that pretty d**n resilient, but I've noticed recently that as an adult, I tend to let my goals go if I don't achieve them on the first or second attempt. It was like I had to overcome so many obstacles before I was 21 that now (at 30) I'm just too tired and don't see my goals as worth the effort I have to put into them.



I used to think I was resilient, and I am proud of what I've accomplished, and, once I got over being ashamed of my past, I was actually a little proud of the hard path I had to overcome to accomplish what I have, as opposed to growing up in a middle class house with normal parents and no cancer, but now I am starting to resent it. I have lost my resiliency and I blame that path. I don't see the person I am now as resilient at all.



So, I don't know if I would say it is a personality trait, because then it would stay with you forever, right? But more a situational phenomenon that comes and goes with certain challenges and accomplishments.

Nicole - posted on 01/20/2011

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Stress especially prenatal stress does play a huge role in training the body to respond to stressful situation in a reactive way.

I don’t like to think of resilience as a personality trait because then if someone isn’t thriving, I would be saying that that person isn’t resilient.

I tend to think of resilience as the summation of all of the creative, destructive, negative and positive forces in a person’s life. This is controllable (to a degree) and includes health, social supports, family, hobbies, etc.

Lady Heather - posted on 01/19/2011

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I honestly don't think I've been tested enough to know yet. I've dealt with the regular things - loss of pets, grandparents. I guess those are the hardest things that I've ever had to deal with though and those are fairly normal things. It's been a pretty charmed life. But that freaks me out because I'm always feeling like the luck has to run out at some point.

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