what were they thinking?

Caitlin - posted on 04/05/2011 ( 23 moms have responded )

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I have every bit of sympathy for the family of this boy (this is only a few kilometers from where i live, i cross this river all the time - it's a doozy in the spring) but what in gods name were they thinking leaving a 7 year old in charge of watching her brother... Now she's going to grow up knowing its her fault her brother is dead. In my opinion the parents should be charged.

http://www.globalmontreal.com/Search+res...

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Tara - posted on 04/05/2011

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For one it doesn't say the boy is dead, for two why should his parents be charged and with what? Letting their kid play with other kids?
If you have every bit of sympathy for the family of this boy then why should his parents be charged with anything? His mom is in hospital being treated for shock due to her sons disappearance. And the whole neighbourhood is traumatized by this. There are a lot of facts missing from this article, such as how many children were playing, and what their ages were.
It's sad that this boy has gone missing and that he does not have the ability to cry for help or to hear his searchers calling his name.
But to suggest his parents should face criminal charges because their child is missing is absurd.
If every parent who had a child go missing were charged with something, would parents even call the police to assist in finding them??

Sneaky - posted on 04/05/2011

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My kids are 'normal' and I would never leave them in a un-fenced yard next to a river! FFS. Not even with a seven year old! I would be there holding their hands the whole time. Maybe I am just more paranoid than the average parent?

The story actually reminds me of an 'accident' that was reported on in Australia recently:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2011/...

And I think the words Caitlin might be looking for are: criminally negligent.

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Sneaky - posted on 04/06/2011

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I know Emma - and I wish I had never heard that story. I know that terrible, terrible accidents can happen . . . . but I can't help being suspicious of everyone anyway. Does that make me a pessimist or a realist?

[deleted account]

I would never leave my 2 year old with her six year old sister.My 2year old daughter thankfully does not have any other issues like this 3year old child.



I just can't at times rest, if there dad allows them to play in my oldest daughters room.I fear something will happen.

She might put something in her mouth etc.So i stay up there, in my room, to be close but still allowing them to enjoy there play time as sisters together.



I take my responsiblity as a mother so serious.Its my job to always look out for them.Its not my six year olds job to look out for her sister.I don't understand why they allowed a child to care for another child.



Now there left to cope with a devastating loss, that i feel could of been so easily avoided..:-( A child will forever be scared and feel so guilty with the memory of what took place that day, to her little baby brother.Whom she must of loved so dearly.So sad.

Nikki - posted on 04/06/2011

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I wouldn't leave a 3 year old alone in an unfenced yard even without a river. I feel sorry for the parents but really what can you expect? That sounds horrible I know but come on how irresponsible!

Sneaky - posted on 04/06/2011

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Check out the link I posted Becky - I didn't say it, but I am thinking it . . .

Becky - posted on 04/06/2011

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I think they were out of their minds for leaving a 3 year old with special needs in an unfenced yard, by a river, without adult supervision. Seriously!! I'm not sure I think they should be charged though. Losing your child and knowing it was your own fault would be more punishment than any court could ever give out.
Although.... this is a horrible thought and you all are probably going to think I'm horrid for even thinking it... but this was a child with high special needs, has anyone else had a fleeting thought that maybe this wasn't an accident???

Stifler's - posted on 04/05/2011

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My parents never let us play in the front yard and that was early 90s. I wouldn't exactly call them paranoid. They let us have a 6 foot high tree house and a motorised go kart and hardly ever supervised us, unless it was through the kitchen window playing in the BACK yard. Anyone can run off the road and go in someone's front yard and run over kids or kids accidentally go on the road and get hit or pull up and snatch kids. If they're in the backyard thats a fair bit harder to do.

April - posted on 04/05/2011

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That's horrible :( and i was just about to say that i hoped they find him and that he's alive. In fact i hope he still is.

I don't know what the parents were thinking. Now they will spend the rest of their lives wishing they had kept their eyes on their son.

Caitlin - posted on 04/05/2011

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Just in case anyone is wondering, they called off the search - it's now a recovery effort.

Kate CP - posted on 04/05/2011

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I'm gonna ditto Tara. Most couples don't make it long after the loss of a child. :(

Caitlin - posted on 04/05/2011

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I don't think that she'll forget it..I remember a lot from when I was 7, but the death of your broth wouldn't be something that would escape your mind easily..

They were saying ont he news today they are checking the neighbours sheds as well as the river, just in case he's hiding but i seriously doubt 5 sniffer dogs didn't pick up on that scent..

Tinker1987 - posted on 04/05/2011

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Poor parenting to say the least.i dont think charges are necessary.If anything they should be getting some therapy or parenting classes. I hope by some miracle the child is still alive.according to that article nothing has been confirmed.i dont think the 7 yearold will be raised knowing she was responsible for what happened to her little brother.its just a tragic accident.

[deleted account]

I agree w/ Tara. It was stupid of them to not be watching the boy, but it was a mistake they (and their poor little girl) will punish themselves for for the rest of their lives. Adding criminal charges to their grief would be incredibly heartless.

Tara - posted on 04/05/2011

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Okay I've looked into the story further, the original article did not say how many children were there and their ages etc.
I am in complete agreement that no one should have left a 3 year old, let alone an autistic deaf and mute child alone with 2 other young children in a non fenced yard. That is ridiculous.
I still don't think she should be charged and imprisoned for this, the guilt, the pain and loss the potential for marital breakdown etc. is enough punishment for this family.

Rosie - posted on 04/05/2011

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why on earth would you leave your 3 year old deaf, mute, autistic child alone? i feel bad for them, but seriously? my friend has 2 autistic children, and she cannot turn her back for a second or her oldest is out the door running around. one time he got out and walked into someone elses house. i'm baffled at why these parents would think leaving him outside alone is a good idea.

Bonnie - posted on 04/05/2011

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A deaf/mute/autistic child is a lot of work for parents, I don't see why they would have left him outside playing with a 7 year old to be in charge. Makes no sense to me.

Caitlin - posted on 04/05/2011

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Elizabeth - I thought it breifly as well, but I still feel horrible for the boy who must have been terrified as he slipped under the freezing water. I also think its horrible that the 7 year old sister is likely going to blame herself for the rest of her life (when it shouldn't have been her responsibility to begin with).

Elizabeth - posted on 04/05/2011

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A deaf-mute, autistic child sounds lie A LOT of work. His parents, I imagine, are probably exhausted. I have 2completely healthy children and I am exhausted. God forbid I say what others are probably thinking..maybe the parents will have a life without a dependent with these kinds of disabilities. Lets face it this child would have required a lifetime of caregiver and that task would have fallen on the sister when the parents were gone.

It is truly tragic.

Caitlin - posted on 04/05/2011

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True.. the article doens't mention other facts that I know because I was watching the news from yesterday, which was done much after the article was written.



5 teams of search dogs were brought in but no scent trail was found. The backyard let out on the flooded river, it was not fenced in, the family was visiting friends, so it was NOT the boys usual enviorment and there was 1 other child in the backyard as well, the neighbours kid. There were also no footprints in the snow leading away from the backyard, which leaves the one option - the river. The search is back on today, the police have their recovery divers out on the river. Last year almost to the day a 6 year old drowned in the same way - getting too close to the banks because he was watching the birds and his body was only found weeks later because the river is INCREDIBLY strong this time of year and there is so much debris on the edge of the river to snag a body.



In my mind there is 99.9% chance that the boy has drowned due to that evidence, in fact, last night on the news the police spokesperson said it wasn't looking hopeful and they are focusing their search now on the river banks and river for recovery.



I do have sympathy for the family, but you don't leave a 3 year old (especially a deaf/mute autistic boy) unsupervised in a non-fenced off yard next to a river, that's irresponsible. Who I feel sorry for is the rest of the family who has to deal with the loss of the child and the community, because she couldn't be bothered to watch her child, and left him in the hands of 2 kids playing outside as well.

Kahlynn - posted on 04/05/2011

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Stories like this are always heartbreaking, and I totally agree with you. What were the parents thinking not keeping a watchful eye on their autistic, deaf/mute child???? You do not leave any 7 year old in charge of another child period. end of story! It's one thing if they were playing in a fenced off backyard, but from the story it seems they weren't. So very sad

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