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How can convince your boyfriend/fiance that been married is not all that bad as people make it seems?

Laquitha - posted on 12/13/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Syed - posted on 01/28/2013

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am engaged 10days back.
i was out of station on that day.
i was in touch with her on phone.
but when we meet yeasterday she is not satisfied with my height. now she reduced talking with me.
but i dont wants lose her.....
what can i do to convince her.?

Deborah - posted on 01/20/2012

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You have to remind him that the two of you are NOT everyone else. Just because other people fail, does not mean you will. Point out problems or issues you two have had that you have overcome together to strengthen that point.



My fiance is scared of marriage because his parents divorced when he was a teenager, and it was ....MESSY.



Ask him what his issues are with it, and make sure you make your positions on those things clear. My fiance wouldn't even LISTEN to my opinion about divorce until we had been together for over a year; he thought I would tell him what I thought he would want to hear rather than how I really felt.



Talk to him about what he thinks is important in a good, strong, and lasting marriage. Make a list together. Ask him what he expects out of his wife...and you need to think of what you expect out of your husband. Talk about the issues other people are facing in their marriages. Find out if he is willing to talk to a couple's therapist if things do get hard if you get married.



Don't use phrases like "when we get married." talk about it as a topic, not as a goal. Don't use "me", use "Your wife". That might be hard but putting it that way makes it more of a discussion of the topic rather than working toward a marriage.



JRay is right, if you push him towards it, he's gonna go the other way.

RJay - posted on 12/26/2011

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He can't judge others marriages to your relationship,if your relationship is going great, and you two really love one an other, then it is a good thing for you to get married... it might be, that he is scared to hurt you, and have been around a lot of others, that their marriages didn't work out.. just give him time, and let him think it over, because if you push hi,. he will turn and go the other way...



Good Luck, and I hope everything turns out for you

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