Ive been sitting on these thoughts all day...LOL Any thoughts?

Tara - posted on 10/08/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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You wouldn't hear someone say "Well I dont use sunscreen on my kids or myself because my parents didnt and they didnt suffer any side effects. Skin cancer doesnt run high in my family and we all need vitamin D. My children are now grown and are perfectly healthy. Same as me. My doctor said "blah blah Im a quack." i think its up to the parent to decide."
You also wouldnt hear someone say " I grew up around second-hand smoke and Im just fine. Recent studies are wrong. Scientists and research can be wrong, thats why theyre always updating it. Im fine and my kids are fine too."
Or " I've never been in a car accident, I dont feel we need to use car seats or even booster seats. We didnt as children and we're all fine. Rear facing isnt any safer than forward facing."

Im sure theres more but I cant think of them now. These were circling in my mind today. Why do people feel the need to neglect facts set out in front of them? Why do they pick and choose? And most importantly why when presented with facts do they get so damn offended? For instance being told you shouldnt give a child under a year cows milk...For various reasons Im sure all of you are aware of. Other randoms come out of the wood work and go off about how rude you are for telling someone theyre wrong :S That Youre not right. Ummm it isnt me, its science? I see way too many people saying solids before the appropriate age is okay...Some even at under a week old!?! And saying "yea my kids are fine and so am I, yadda yadda." I dont know why this bothers me so much but it does and now it's off my chest. *sigh*

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Tara - posted on 10/09/2009

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A little too hard for some :p

Katherine - posted on 10/09/2009

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Quoting tara:

Thats exactly what angers me. Widely known facts being ignored. But in saying that I'm all for a person choosing the best for their children as long as they know the facts and haven't ignored doing the research. Research involves time and effort not just asking your doctor or relative/friend. At the end of the day its only two peoples (or just one depending) opinion and thought that counts, the parent(s). Common sense, curiosity, and instinct is a huge part of being a parent in my personal opinion



How about just COMMON SENSE!!!!  I know it's hard to come by...

Tara - posted on 10/09/2009

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Thats exactly what angers me. Widely known facts being ignored. But in saying that I'm all for a person choosing the best for their children as long as they know the facts and haven't ignored doing the research. Research involves time and effort not just asking your doctor or relative/friend. At the end of the day its only two peoples (or just one depending) opinion and thought that counts, the parent(s). Common sense, curiosity, and instinct is a huge part of being a parent in my personal opinion

Alison - posted on 10/09/2009

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I agree that the smoking advice is bad. It is widely accepted as fact that secondhand smoke and smoking during pregnancy is bad. It makes me so angry when I see parents smoking in the same car as their kids and it's even a secondary offence where I live.



I'll support anything if it is widely acceped as fact, but there are some things with conflicting studies. I would say that parents need to make their own choices with those and follow the studies they believe.

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2009

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OMG I am all for doing what suits you but telling people smoking while pregnant is okay...thats just crazy! I wouldnt even let people smoke near me while I was pregnant. And Pia I agree 100% about being respectful to one another. I have commented on a few post and started some of my own and am shocked by the behaviour of some so called adults. We all have the right to our own opinion but there is no need to be cruel and degrading when stating it.

Tara - posted on 10/08/2009

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Wow really? Smoking? Some people just shouldnt share their advice.

Pia - posted on 10/08/2009

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After reading yet another thread which got out of control on Circle of Moms, I feel like ranting too!

I just can't believe some of the stuff said on some threads! If a mother wants to make a choice that blatantly ignores research then fine, but don't tell other women that it will be okay for their children too. Every child is different!

I read one thread about a woman who smokes while pregnant. She was asking whether this was okay. Straight up, no, it is not okay. I know people make the choice to continue smoking whilst pregnant. That is there perogative. But there were so many women saying "Oh, I did too, my baby is fine, yours will be as well." One woman even went so far as to say "I don't thinking smoking actually affects the baby at all". ARE YOU KIDDING ME? How can you tell someone it won't affect your baby when it affects your health so badly!

The point is, sure, make your own decisions against the facts if you want. But please don't tell other mothers to do this like you are suddenly an expert.

That's my rant. I may have got a little off topic, but oh well. I got mad.

Jessica, my son slept on his stomach too. I never put him on there, but once he started rolling, he did it himself. I think as long as they have the reflexes to stop themselves suffocating it is not that bad.

I also think it's terrible that on a public forum where women genuinely want advice, they have to write things like "please don't attack me". Why can't people remember we are adults and respect one another!

Tara - posted on 10/08/2009

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No your post doesnt "piss me off" it gave me a new perspective on things and thats what I was looking for. I was a young mom (still am) and I offered my first child solids way before the recommendation, however that was on out dated advice given by my mother and I was quick to correct it when presented with facts. Parenting isnt easy by any means and we all find our own ways. I truly believe its a trial and error thing. And I also believe that as with anything in life we need to recognize when we may be wrong about something and be big enough to say so. I did a lot of things wrong with my first child. I was under-educated and ill-equipped. We live and we learn as we go. There is no such thing as a perfect Mom only a Mom trying to be perfect. I disagree on the spanking thing, but thats me and my opinion. I disagree on a lot of things but Ive learned that no matter what you say someone is always going to get offended and no one wants to hear reasonable points of view. I was a child that was disciplined by spanking and I can say I agree with what Ive heard on why not to do it. Ive been in many fights with my own bf over not spanking our children. To each their own and once again thank you for the insights you kindly offered.

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2009

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LOL! Nothing like a good rant to make you feel better :)

I have never had a problem with people showing facts to supprot their point of view but some people can be really rude when they do it. These days you really can find research to support any point of view. I have to say that I am someone who picks and chooses the information I follow. I follow all the big things like putting my daughter in a car seat, using sunscreen and keeping her away from second hand smoke. But there are things like not offering solids until 6months that I didnt exactly follow as I started her on solids at 4 and a half months. I dont see a problem with this. She was showing great interest in food, loved it when it was offered and has never had a problem. I followed most recomendations from the SIDS foundation like not using a pillow and putting your baby at the bottom of the cot but I let my daughter sleep on her tummy as that is how she was comfortable. Now before everyone gets outraged by this I didnt put her to sleep on her stomach until she could lift her head without any difficulty and I checked on her regularly. Really I think you need to do what suits you, your baby and the rest of your family. You cant follow every rule set in life and somethings just arent that big a deal when put into prespective. And yes I am a believer in smacking as a last resort but never out of anger. I was raised that way and so was everyone else I know and we are all very respectful, mature adults and were also respectful well behaved kids (I know that will have really pushed your buttons Tara, sorry). The new generation which is being raised in this 'no smacking, no saying no' environment are turning out to be the most violent and disrespactful generation. Thats not to say they are all out of control, so please dont start attacking me. Im a believer of each to their own...if other discipline techniques like time outs work for you great, if a smack is what works for you then thats fine with me too.