Wondering if my view on "nationality" is unique?

Sandy - posted on 07/01/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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It's impossible not to drilled about the importance of teaching and revering the child's birth culture when going through the international adoption process. At the time I sort of went along -- not thinking about it that much -- we just wanted to expand our family (which, I believe, is the only reason anyone adopts). But as time passes and I have thought about it more -- it all seems so arbitrary and rather silly. For instance, I was born in Argentina. My parents moved me here when I was four. I don't particularly value Argentinean culture any more or less than Americas or for that matter any other country. It seems to me that every nation has things of beauty and why should the accident of where one was born mean that you have know all about and revere that particular culture above all others?

Not sure I'm explaining myself clearly. It's not that I don't want to teach or share positive cultural things with my girls about Colombia and Guatemala but according the UN theory -- one child should seemingly be more "into" one of those countries and the other more "into" the other. Nonsense. And what if somehow I won the lottery and we could visit any country? Why not China, Egypt, parts of Africa, Australia?

It's all about man-made borders dividing this one pale blue dot we all share. And for this -- the UN would keep children in squalor (as long as they remain in their birth land "where they belong".)

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J M - posted on 12/30/2012

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We Adopted, and while we feel it very important to be honest and informative, having healthy happy child is important to.

Personally we did not " just go along with things to expand on our family, were very sincere with every part of our child's personal situations Country etc, after all it was the country were our child came from that allowed us to be parents in the first place, so we feel lest we can do to honor that fact, and keep pride in origins.

You have some interesting points, specially the last paragraph, but yes every country also has its beauty.

However things can go wrong, when people just go along as you say without been Empathic about other cultures etc,because they are many facets that have "importance" of where they came from.

eg: Language, food, mannerisms, beliefs, values etc ...

I know some people feel like its a crime if Children are not reminded every day, however children are intelligent to and guess they may just be busy getting on with live and don't need reminding, however we do take part in as many Culture events as possible, so our Child has been given options to be proud if feels to be, and lest cannot be confused with some other culture he is not from.

Other sides.. it is not the be all and end all, but it is a big "part of where and how they came in to being ", as Children grow and makeup their " own" minds, to what more important to them and their best interests, and their own personal views, as you have expressed yourself -:)

No matter what culture/ country they may of started in , it "does not guarantee Health or happiness", else all children would be able to stay where ever they were born and "a lot of Children don't live in a ideal world do they,once again up to them once of age to then carry on with any traditions etc.

However its about been true about their origins, then later on they cannot say you ignored their heritage, and for a good healthy Self Esteem, no one should ever ashamed where you come from.

I pasted this part below ... back for you to see.. "it is no accident, its a Miracle and a fact you lest survived to later have chances others may never have, we all need to be born somewhere..., and should be no shame in that.


Your Quote:
"It seems to me( you) that every nation has things of beauty and why should the accident of where one was born mean that you have know all about and revere that particular culture above all others?

My words....
Our Child does not place any culture below or above where he lives now, rather gives him balance of his whole situation, so there are no gaps and no shame in his Cultural identity.

And it was NO accident where our child came from, it was a opportunity for us to be comes Parents, thats the Miracle of Adoption, so personally we Love our Child birth Country.

But yes no child should ever live in Squalor is a different point, about culture, .... one good reason that some may choice to not be proud of-:( but through no fault if their own.

Heather - posted on 08/08/2011

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I teach my son about Russian culture because I want him to have pride in "where he comes from" and since we have no info on his bio family, this is the best I can do. I want him to have something to hold as his own history. I also want him to feel American and have pride in his adopted country. I think I feel the need for embracing the Russian culture because I am heavy into knowing about my bio family history and take pride in carrying on some of their traditions. Since he does not have that luxury, I want to be sure he knows that he comes from a place that he should value and that we value it and think highly of the Russian people. His birth mother made lots of mistakes but he is a wonderful boy and I am thankful every day to the Russian courts who allowed me to be his mom.
That said, I was lucky enough to grow up in many countries and the most important lesson you can teach your children is that ALL cultures have something of value to offer the world and we should do our best to respect them all.
ok, off my soap box ;)

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