tips on raising girls

April - posted on 01/08/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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salaam
i just found out that I am pregnant with a girl and i am nervous because i want to raise her according to islam but i donot have any ideas how to deal with a girl concerning what age it is apporpriate to start encouraging hijab and concering baby clothing and so on any useful tips and duas would be wonderful

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Aicha - posted on 06/03/2010

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as salam alikum sisters
I dress my daughter she is 8 months old like I dress in long shirts and skirts I always have her wear tights so her legs don't show there is a really good book I am reading it is called Nurturing Eeman in Children written by Dr. Aisha Hamdan

Marjani - posted on 04/18/2010

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as salaamu alaikum

i am a convert of 15 years and i have 3 daughters. when they were babies i didn't dress them in shirts that were backless, or had spagetti straps (not without an undershirt), no tummy revealing shirts and not too tight shorts. when they got around 2 - 6 years old, i made sure that their shirts covered their backsides, short sleeve, capri pants/pants, no shorts and nothing tight. when my oldest turned 7, this is the age they make salat. she wore (still does), long sleeve shirts/dresses that cover her backside, pants nothing tight, with hijab whenever she leaves the house. why? so she can be dressed for salat at all times. in the house, i am a little more lacked. she wears a prayer garment for salat. when company comes over, she has to cover, body and hair.

she understands. and when she gets the urge to dress like the women do outside, i remind her that muslimahs do not dress like that. that we are not like them, we are different. that we are doing this to please Allah. and that her mom doesn't dress like that.

finding clothes was/is hard. so i go to the 2nd hand shop. i buy dresses (since they come to the knees or mid-calf) and pair it up with pants or skirt. i sew some of their clothes and buy clothes on sell from the internet. short sleeve shirts get paired with long sleeve shirts. she has different color hijabs to jazz it up.

there is a great site. the islamic stores are legit and there are other ethnic stores on the site to choose from. also, the stores are listed by country.

www.modestclothes.com

Maria - posted on 03/10/2010

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W,Salaam.

Firstly, Mubarak on your wonderful news! Inshallah, i hope the pregnancy and birth go well..I have 3 girls aged 3, 4 & 5. When they were very little, i had no worries or concerns on how i should dress them as they were very young. Most of the time they were clothed in baby grows anyway. When it came to the summer time, they wore dresses, vests and shorts etc. I always made sure, when we went to the beach they weren't aloud to run around without any clothes on and when i was out and wasnt able to find an appropriate place to change their diaper/nappies, i always made sure that they were covered whilst changing. As they got older i have dressed them in a way that is respectful and modest. As they are at an age where they are understanding a lot more, i have just briefly explained why they as muslim girls should try to avoid wearing clothing that is too revealing. When you can see that your child is grasping onto information then thats a good time to slowly slowly talk about our ways of life in the Islamic way. Not over the top, just the basic need to know. Everyday your child is learning new things in school etc, so why not the teachings of Islam. As i am their mother and role model, i always make sure that i dress in the correct manner as they will follow me. The worst thing is to be teaching them one thing and for you to do another!!

There isn't really a right age to encourage the Hijab, anytime is good really, but i think definately at the age of 7 when the child is permitted to be practicing their salah thats when you should consider the Hijab. I hope that helps and good luck!

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many congratulations on your wonderful news. i have a three year old girl, i found it a worry in the beginning about clothes and stuff, always wanting to find things with long sleeves things that covered her up, but then to be honest i gave up especially in the summer, she dresses respectfully and is learning about modesty etc, but my fiance and i both agree that she is still only a little girl, as she grows she will learn much more and then we will tackle the issues or hijab etc. it is hard, but at the end of the day they are only babies, my husband to be is a very religious man,but alhumdulillah he is quite relaxed about these things and says that we will let her be a little girl for a while longer, what does your husband think, what are his views about how you should dress your new baby girl when she is born? good lucky with the pregnancy inshallah it will be easy on you and a pleasure and you will have a beautiful healthy little girl.

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