help please

Dena' - posted on 07/10/2010

Enjoy your son and dont worry about it. I know plenty of only children who are perfectly fine with it and if your Husband cant handl it I wouldnt push. If GOD wants you to have more you will have more. I have an 18 year old and a 4 year old. 28 with 1st and 43 with 2nd. They just love and adore each other. My husband has 3 kids but they could care less abot their lil bro.

Sarh - posted on 07/03/2010

My daughter turned 4 in January and I just had my son in June. 4 yrs old is not too far apart! Your son will be a big brother and mommy's big helper!! I had the same fear as your husband and I still have this fear! However! There is no way I could ever push my daughter aside and I love them both equally. I never thought I could love anyone or anything as much as I love my first child, but I love them both that much! Has your son asked his daddy himself for a little sister? I honestly think a larger age gap is easier then if you had to babies. Less diapers to buy, because buying diapers for one is more than enough! lol.

Justice - posted on 05/27/2010

EMILY, I HAVE THREE CHILDERN MY SON JUST TURNED 19, MY OLDEST DAUGHTER WILL BE 14 NEXT MONTH, AND MY BABY DAUGHTER WAS 4 IN JAN. FOUR IS PUSHING IT ONLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO WAIT TILL THEY ARE GROWN BEFORE THEY ARE CLOSE ( MY TWO OLDER KIDS) THEY BOTH THINK THE BABY IS THE GREATEST BUT THERE IS SUCH AN AGE GAP THAT SHE IS PRETTY MUCH AN ONLY CHILD. TELL YOUR HUSBAND THAT HE WOULD BE AMAZED JUST MUCH LOVE HE HAS TO GIVE! I HOPE MAYBE THIS WILL HELP!!!!

Rebekah - posted on 05/25/2010

I have always wanted at least two children, as I felt my sister has been such a blessing in my life and that there is nothing like a sibling to share the growing up years. However, I only have one, like you, and my husband also doesn't want more. Originally, we both agreed on the plan to have a couple of kids, but now that we've had our son, my husband seems to be at his limit with all the stress and change that has happened in our lives since then...its just how he's wired. Anyway, as much as I still would have wanted my son to have a sibling, I have to accept that it isn't going to happen (unless God makes it happen), and really its for the best that it doesn't happen if my husband isn't on board with it. I strongly feel that both parents have to be on the same page with that before going forward. I never wanted to talk my husband into it, or pressure him into it, b/c I think it would only lead to resentment later on, towards me and the second child. Frankly, I don't need that kind of tension! So, its a loss of a kind for me, but I am grateful for the sweet boy that I have and try to have him spend as much time with his cousins as possible so they can be like surrogate siblings. My son has also been pretending that stuffed dolls and his cousins are his brothers and sisters. It makes me a bit sad, but we will get through. Being an "only" is not the end of the world, just a different one than I had imagined for him. That's just my situation.

I'm wondering if your husband might change his perspective by talking to other dads with multiple children? Maybe if he hears it from another guy, that it IS possible to love a second child as much, etc, it might encourage him.

Any chance his concerns are a reflection of his own childhood experience with siblings?