getting your 1st kid ready for a new baby

Esther - posted on 04/16/2010

hi with my 3 yr old, we brought him to drs appt and to the ultrasounds so he could see baby. we got him a book about being a big brother. we let him buy outfits and stuff for the baby. we took him to make him and her to build a special bear at build a bear workshop. he helped us remodel the babies bedroom. at the hospital he got a little mad because mommy couldnt go home put him to bed and cuddle with him and didnt want much to do with me. I let him help me give her a bath. he puts her socks on. He picks out her clothes everyday! just make sure you spend lots of time when baby is asleep. oh when she has tummy time he reads her books and plays with her rattles too.

Jenna - posted on 04/02/2010

We just went through this too.You got alot of great advice already especially the spending some alone time with James after the baby comes too. Something we also did with our daughter.She's 3 as well.We did a big sister gift so she could have something new from us and the baby while she was staying with my mom.We put together a little book bag with some snacks,the new items..in our case she got some polly pockets and some new color books and a new night gown.My mom found a big sister book as well.We also had Destiny pick out something small for the baby when he arrived.We bought a small froggy security blanket.We got her involved in our doctor visits and allowed her to hear his heartbeat and see ultrasounds pictures and the video of it.I also pulled up pictures online for her and would tell her about how big the baby is and so on.She was really interested but I'd go off of how interested James is and of course give the info you feel appropriate.We allow Destiny to help out with in reason like helping grab clean diapers to put near the changing table and so on.Unfortunatly for us our son showed up 4 1/2 weeks early.So, we lost some time with bringing des into the hospital since our little guy was in the NICU.My husband brought her in to see me though.I highly reccomend doing that if you can so he can meet the new baby.The hospitals also offer big brother and sister classes.If so I'd look into them. We didn't get to make them as planned and they usually cost about 10.00.But, it goes over what it's like and usually they try to do a tour of the nursery for the kids as well.My husband and I also work it out that he takes our daughter for some alone time and I do without the baby.Tomorrow he's taking her for home depot's craft project while I'm home with the baby.That way she gets alone time with each of us.Those are some of those things that helped us out along the way.
I hate saying this but expect alittle acting out.Even if he adjust great to the baby..he may want even more attention even if your giving it to him.Just be prepared in case.Our daughter does great with the baby and is a little mommy and sometimes to helpful.But, she will act up a little more for me now that he's here...maybe it's her age I dunno but it hit more once he came home.

Sara-lee - posted on 04/02/2010

my son was 3 in Jan and his baby brother is now 8 months. Never had a problem with him accepting him as did lots of preparation. Some very good books you can buy and we read them all the time. Loads on Amazon. He was also clingy and still can be.
He was soo excited to meet his brother (I had the baby at home so he came back in evening) did what books say and baby in moses with my arms free for him but he was only interested in baby not me and wanted to hold him straight away.He tells him how much he loves him all the time. I let him open all the babies gifts and most people bought him one too. Also good thing was took him in shops few weeks before baby to choose a present from baby then I bought it when he was not with me and after baby came and he had a cuddle I gave him the pressent the baby had got him.
We did not know what we were having so just was baby brother or sister. Talked lots about what a wonderful big brother he could be and all the things he could teach him. Bought the baby a blankie from him which we put in his bed for a couple of nights to get his smell for baby to recognise early. Used to fill baby bath on floor in bathroom and let him wash him while I held my arm under the baby which he loved. Good luck sure it will all be fine! xx

Regina - posted on 03/31/2010

I got library books about being a big brother and I also had him make a big brother shirt and told him he could wear it when the new baby was born. Also when the new baby was born I got him a special gift. What really worked was when his brother was born I would tell him that he was his baby and I took lots of pictures of them together and included him in everything including feeding. It made him feel special.

Carlie - posted on 03/30/2010

well i was lucky my son had been arond hes lil cusons n hes younst nathew is only 7weeks older then my 8mouths so he was always around him he diden relliy worry but it did. but it did help wen i got him 2 help me wiv evethink for hes sis n he loved it even thou he thou the fist week she was my nathew lol x

Deanne - posted on 03/29/2010

Hi april . Kids are like that they cling to just about anything or anyone. When I was pregnant with my daughter. We told our son mummy was having a baby and it was going to be a girl. He was intrigued with my tummy, how it look and how it got bigger. He would always without fail kiss my belly at night and say goodnight to his sister. When she came, my son came into the hospital room and looked at my tummy to see it had gone down. he replied where is she I said there she is and he was just in shock to see his sister had arrived he was soooooo happy and the moment was priceless. I found that telling him that he was going to be the big brother that he had to help wherever he could made him feel really important and gave him heaps of praise for a job well done.

Jen - posted on 03/29/2010

Our daughter was 2 when Ronan was born. We talked with her a lot about a new baby coming. We also read books to her every night about "new baby" or "I'm a big sister now." etc... and that helped b/c it generated more questions from her. We did the present thing also and that seemed to help too. Best wishes to you and your growing family!

Jen
http://www.21ten.com/JenCarrettin

Kerri - posted on 03/20/2010

i had my daughter 15 weeks ago and my son turned 3 in jan,my husband and i kept talking and explaining at most oppertunities about the baby so that it wasnt a huge shock to him,i think this helped a great deal. Im not saying it will be easy because i find that in general he is fine apart from when im feeding her but to be honest i find something he enjoys doing whilst im feeding her and hes usually fine. when baby arrives just encourage him to help u with things i.e changing nappy,feeding,getting things for u when bathing baby,u will soon get into a routine and he will love helping mummy!

hope this is of some help xx

Nicole - posted on 01/06/2010

The BEST advice I got was to give my son little presents throughout the pregnancy, from the baby. We'd bring him a box of crayons and say, "Look what baby sister got for you! Wasn't that nice of her? She's looking forward to playing with them with you."
We bought him a baby doll that coos and stuff, and he carried that thing around everywhere. He even has a little toy car seat, and he'd take it in the car lol.
When her kicking started getting to be noticeable, I'd invite him to feel it and explain that she's in there, and she's moving around cause she's so anxious to get out and play with him.
I made him a special Big Brother shirt with fabric paints, and he got to wear it to the hospital when I had my C-section. When he got there he got to meet her, (he was SOOO excited), and my husband helped him hold her. (he had his hands under her, my husband held her for him really.) Then he got to open a wrapped present (a pack of puzzles and some books and old cartoons on DVD).
He absolutely loves her.

Lisa - posted on 01/06/2010

hi i am wondering the same thing. i am due in july and we told our daughter at three months when i went for 12 week scan, but it seems to have distressed her as she says that their wont be enough room for her and she will have to go and live with grandma and grandpa (we have three bedrooms and only one child) so no idea where she has that idea from!! so have just stopped mentioning it and will give it another try in a month or so if she doesnt say anything.

April - posted on 01/05/2010

Well thank you all for all the advice it will help me so much. We have been doing the talk about a baby coming and things are going to change. I have also started to bring him to Dr apt. bc he likes to hear the babys heart beat.

Emily - posted on 01/05/2010

Talk to him often about the new baby and what's going on with the baby inside you. Talk about what will happen, what will be different, etc. Involve him as much as possible. There are books about being a big brother too. I got my son a cabbage patch baby and we used it to talk about babies crying, changing diapers, stuff like that. When baby arrives you can involve your son a lot too by having him fetch burp cloths and diapers. We had a pretty smooth transition, I think because we talked about it so much. Good luck, and congratulations on your pregnancy!

Amber - posted on 01/04/2010

I definitely agree about spending time with him while baby sleeps, etc. My son LOVED to help me out when his baby sister came. He would get a diaper for her, get the baby wipes, even throw her diapers away after I was done changing her. He hasnt been jealous at all (she was born 3 days before his 2nd birthday though) and still helps me out when he can! Good Luck!

Cathy - posted on 01/03/2010

I just had a baby in July and although it will be a different experience since my son was only 2 and a half, but the important thing is to spend private time with him after the baby is born so he doesn't feel like he is being replaced. Do everything you can to include him in everything. One thing I did was, at bath time I put the baby's bathtub in the big tub and filled both tubs with water so they could both take a bath together. As long as he can help and you spend some time with him without the new baby, you will have better success bring the baby home and keeping peace.