How many of you have a mouthy child now that they turned 5 and how do you deal with it?
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Margaret - posted on 09/05/2012
We have a 5 y/o, who also tends to be mouthy and fresh, and now our 3 y/o is doing the same thing! There are a few ground rules that keep us anchored and calm with our kids being mouthy:
1) My hubs and I are in charge, NOT the kids! WE set the expectations and boundaries of what's acceptable or not in our house, including verbal communication.
2) We pick our battles - if the kids are being mouthy because they're mad at us, or if they're mad at each other, and we're at home, then we don't worry too much. Kids are kids, they have NO idea how to behave sometimes, so we have to model for them. Sometimes we suggest to them how to communicate their feelings so that they at least TRY to think about how they speak their minds.
3) If our kids are being DOWNRIGHT disrespectful in what they say (talking back, saying "no" when we tell them it's time to clean up, get ready for dinner, etc.), then it's an absolute TIME OUT. We ignore them completely until the time out is finished at 3 or 5.5 minutes.
4) Explain to kids that it's okay to have FEELINGS about something - it's HOW we express those feelings that makes a HUGE difference in how we treat each other. We tell our kids something simple like, "If you don't want to do something with your sister, just say 'no thank you, not right now' instead of screaming back at her."
5) If you're in a store, Dr office, school, library, etc., and if they're NOT listening to your discipline, sometimes we don't have any choice but to stick it out and deal. If there IS a choice, and you CAN leave, then do so calmly.
6) Tune them out. Unless they're SERIOUSLY hurting each OTHER or other people around them physically, there's blood, or someone needs a trip to the ER, then just pretend that they're NOT even being mouthy. Let THEM lose energy and steam enough to FINALLY come to YOU as depleted as possible (if / when the time allows itself) to speak as calmly as possible.
Remember - Kids don't have the emotional fortitude sometimes to filter out their feelings before they talk back to us. We have to sometimes have a REALLY thick skin to let them just be human for a moment here and there. Maybe they're tired, bored, feeling like they don't get enough attention, maybe they had a bad day at school (now that the new school year is upon us, keep these moments in mind) and don't know how to approach us about it...Usually what really makes us act out is a reflection of how we feel on the INSIDE about something else, so sometimes, we need to be REALLY patient and understanding, even when we don't WANT to be!
Take deep breaths - save our energy for when we'll REALLY need it in the teen years! Hope this helps :) Keep us posted!
Heather - posted on 08/08/2012
Yolanda, I know how you feel, she is my one and only at the moment because my husband is not ready for another one and she gets away with alot but trying to get it under control before it gets any worse. I have a friend that I was talking to about this, she has 5 older kids and then one younger than mine and she was telling me that a dr told her that instead of soap (which I don't want to do, didnt like it when I was a kid) try useing vanilla, its safe for them but has a horrible after taste that you cant get rid of. I haven't tried it yet but see it in the near future.
Yolanda - posted on 08/08/2012
Heather I seem to have that issue with my four year old. My patience is running thin. I have given her a warning. She has but one more time to give me lip and her lip is going to be swollen. I have 5 kids and she is the baby. I am so tired....my other kids tell me that I let her get away with murder. They are right but I know that I have to set the tone now if not she is going to be out of control.
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