Keeping my 2 y/o in her own bed

Nicole - posted on 06/10/2009

I have the same problem with my two yr old daughter, moved a toddler bed in her room now she won't sleep in the bed or her crib.. she ends up sleeping with us the (parents) ,and won't even go back in her crib..it's like the room is the end of the world..i need any suggestions ty

Candy - posted on 06/10/2009

Oh my goodness!!! So many people going through the same things...I am in the stage where she is will fall asleep in her bed (I have to sit in the rocking chair beside her bed) but then gets up in the middle of the night (actually about 2 hours after she goes to sleep) and comes in our room. I know we should get up and put her back in her bed, but I am just too tired and most times, I don't know she is there until I wake up around 3am for a potty break. I have been told to move her bed into our room, but didn't want to do that and she said she didn't want that either. Every night she says "I want to sleep in your bed and snuggle mommy." How can you say no to that? It goes well for a while until my husband (who travels a lot) goes out of town, and then she refuses to go to sleep in her bed. Not sure what to do anymore, but same old same old.

Cameo - posted on 06/09/2009

And for those of you still sleeping with your 2 1/2 year old, honestly, do what works for you! Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has an opinion and the only one that really matters is that of those who live in your home. Personally, my daughter sleeps in her own room as a matter of preference for me but research other cultures...ours is the exception! Every other culture co-sleeps in one way or another. We have friends in Thailand and the teenage children still sleep in their parents bedroom. It's completely normal and you just have to do what works for you! I really hope that was a supportive statement! I get passionate about this stuff and really hate it when others pose their negative opinions on the decisions that individual families make in their own homes! :)

Cameo - posted on 06/09/2009

My 2 y.o. had a challenge with this too. I simply took the front rail off of the crib so it became a toddler bed and you would have thought the world turned upside down!! Even though the rail was down, she still recognized the edge of the bed as a boundary, initially. So, while she didn't get out of bed, she screamed her head off for hours before finally tiring out and falling asleep. A couple of nights into it, she told me she wanted to sleep on the floor. And she has been sleeping on the floor ever since. Maybe ask your daughter "where" she wants to sleep? On the bed or on the floor, as choices. Giving her some degree of control may help and the hardest thing is being consistent. We ended up regressing and giving in by putting ours in the carseat and going for a drive to get her to sleep. Not a habit we wanted to become permanent and luckily it was temporary. You'll probably have to retrain on sleep. Agree to lay with her for a time limit and then leave? You know your child best. Good luck!!!

Amanda - posted on 06/08/2009

Oh girl! You are not alone if someone has any advice that works,lol I would love to hear it!My 2 1/2 yr old daughter is still in the bed with us,I know it's terrible,lol.But we have always had her in the bed with us from the get go,she was sleeping on her own from ab out 10 months - 15 months in her crib.I moved her out of the crib 6 months before I was due with my second baby girl to get her use to a toddler bed,and ever since then she has been back in the bed with us.She is my baby,and I agree I let her get away with it,but she has gotten so big,she takes up half the bed,lol [she sleeps like me]We have got to get her out,my husband finally just gave up and sleeps on the couch.My 8 month old has always slept in her crib and soothes herself to sleep,I guess its all part of doing it frommthe beginning.We are now expecting #3 I know I'm crazy,lol!But we will do the same thing with this one as we did with my last,and when we convert from crib to bed with them I guess we will see if its any easier.Just wanted to let you know your not alone!

Narelle - posted on 06/05/2009

Don't really have any advice 4 u but just wanted u 2 no that ur not alone. My 2 yr old son gets out of his bed all the time. We just put him bak in n so on. Lately I have been sittin on the bed in the room so he wil stay there. He has 2 have a light on until he goes 2 sleep or he just screams. Even wen he wakes up thru the nite he sings out or screams until we turn our lamp on. Most nights we leave it on n fall asleep cause we r tired.

Jilena - posted on 05/30/2009

by 4 yrs old the imagination, fanticy, is well established so monsters/fear can be the biggest struggle with that stage.
My 4yr old and 2 yr old share a room. We have a night light in the room. He needs it, she hates it.To help them both sleep I rigged the night light to be just behind my son's pillow. Also I got one that is a glow green and a red light in the bathroom. (Those colors don't let you wake up all the way.) He can move his pillow to look at the light while he, and his pillow, block the light from his sister's eyes.
If either of them get out of bed and want to join me in mine I tell them they can't while the sun is in bed. Now the black out curtains in their room help me get to sleep in. If they don't go on their own or they are having a really hard time with the idea of sleeping in their beds, screaming carring on, temper tantrum, etc. I tell them "How sad. You might wake up your (sister/brother). I'll just move her/him so that you can cry/scream in peace and we can all still sleep." So, for eample when i did this with my son, I pick up my daughter, who is ok. Place them on the floor in my room on a sleeping bag and put my screaming son in his room with the door closed so not to wake the rest of the house, and rest outside the door until the screaming stops. When it's calm for a while. I will peak in, with my son I had to cover him because it was winter. But I don't wake either of them even if they are on the floor, it won't hurt them, just cover and go.
When my son asked the next morning why his sister got to sleep in my room and he didn't I just told him, "You told me to let her when you chose to scream and wake her up."
I've only done this twice, once for each child. They don't like that the other one gets to sleep in my room so they don't through a fit. I have only randomly had to put them back in their room myself, mostly when they are sick and they have a need to be with me not just a want. Hope this helps.

Jilena - posted on 05/30/2009

Most two years oldd don't do monsters yet so you shouldn't need to worry about that too much. I would turn off her CD player at night after she's asleep. Children wake up many times during the night but most of the time they just go back to sleep b/c they are not compleatly awake yet. If she hears the CD, even if it's just music, it may wake her enough to remember mom's not here so she runs to you. When I turned off my kids CD player after they were asleep I didn't have any more kids waking up in the night, randomly. Also it helped when we went on vacation or they stayed at Grandma's since they won't really have a CD player every where they have to sleep. They are flexible. That helps.

Rachel - posted on 05/28/2009

I wonder about the light in her room. Can you put that stuff on a timer? I'm going to transition my daughter to a toddler bed this weekend and I worry about her doing this same thing.

Nicole - posted on 05/28/2009

This is a tough one and something that constantly changes - sorry! I'm going through this with both my boys right now - 4 and 2. My 4 year old was doing great for a long while but he became sick this spring (with more than just a cold) and started waking up, in part because he was always so cold I think. As we treated that illness, he started waking up because all of a sudden he was scared of the dark. Now he does it out of habit and nothing is working well to get him back on track. He's going through a very fiesty stage...



My 2 year old wakes up once, comes and lays with me and goes right back to sleep - usually. I'm not sure why he's doing it but he seems to want to be close to me. Not sure if older brother is waking him (they share a room) or vice versa. Sometimes a rewards sticker chart works with him but not always. So that may be something to try if yours likes stickers - build up a short number of days for a special reward and then continue to stretch out the days for a reward.



And curious, does she like all the light in her room? I know my first could care less, unless it was close to waking up time but my second is really affected by light. It keeps him up, wakes him up no matter how tired he is.