Listening

Hope - posted on 07/01/2012

Olivia,
My daughter used to have a serious issue with leaving the table in the middle of eating and it drove me insane. I finally gave her a rule that she must ask permission to leave the table and only if she needs to use the restroom or if she is sure she is done with her meal. If she takes a few bites and gets up from the table, I take her plate (and put it in the microwave) and tell her that dinner is over and it is not play time so she has to come back and sit at the table with us while we eat, but without her plate (for a few minutes) once she has sat there for four minutes, I ask her if she understands that she cannot leave the table in the middle of our meal. She usually replies with a nice "Yes ma`am" and then I ask her if she would like to finish her meal. I then give her the plate and she usually doesn't get up again. In the rare case she is a second offender of leaving the table during the meal, she loses her meal to the trash can. This has only happened twice because once she realized that leaving the table meant losing her food, she quickly saw meal time as a good thing and not a punishment. :) Good luck!

Olivia - posted on 05/09/2012

I'd like to know if there is anything besides Time Out. : ) My son doesn't listen a lot of the time. We wonder sometimes if there is a greater issue or if it is just his age. We use time out, take away items and fun activities... he apologizes, but keeps ignoring us when we ask him to do things (not his way). For instance, he won't sit still at the dinner table... He takes a bite, then gets up and goes off, then comes back. I have to admit I miss the high chair... I can't keep him in place. Any advice?

Erica - posted on 04/21/2012

We send our little non listener to a "Star Out" (star hung on the wall). She stands there with her nose to the star and arms to her side. Sometimes it's difficult to get her to hold still but the time doesn't start til she's still so she learns when she needs to put her stubborness in check! When the offense is bigger than just going to "star out", she loses privileges...tv, treats, toys, backyard time, etc.She has the same thing at preschool...the teacher makes them sit at a table for one and read a book instead of playing at the centers or getting to watch a show at snack time. It seems to be working very well. She understands that being good earns her privileges and she really like to have those! Good Luck!

Jodie - posted on 04/20/2012

My daughter doesn't listen all the time either and she does start to talk back now. It drives me nuts too. I definitely pick my battles with the listening thing. I get really mad if she is not listening and it involves her safety. (ex: running out into a parking lot). Other things, I try to let it go. Fortunately, putting her in time out works most of the time. I know that it seems that it is not working but just keep trying. Also, I suggest you change her time out spot. I used to have my daughter's time out spot in her room in her chair she likes to read in. My husband told me we probably shouldn't have her time out be in some place where she enjoys herself. So now she has to sit in the hallway for 4 minutes. She hates it and just the suggestion of it, usually changes her attitude. She knows that I will put her in time out. I never threaten it unless I really will do it. I even did it when we were on vacation. She wasn't listening to us when we were out and about and when we got back to the hotel room, she had to sit in the hallway (inside our room) just like if were at home. After that, she listened for the rest of the trip. Just try and be consistent with what you are doing. Kids will start to know when you are bluffing and will use it against you which is just frustrating in itself.