potty training my stubborn girl:O

Marty - posted on 11/26/2012

i am an older mom/grandma with two school age children my 6 yr old girl is pottying on her self after being complety potty broke i have tried many things that r convential and non it has been a real battle with my older children.and my 8 yr old sucks his thumb and pulls his hair out i have tried awards,punishment and bragging and taken away for both these problems im at a stand still i have taken them to doctor they have not found anythign wrong.anyone have this problem am i making to much out of it ,i would understand if it was medical ,this way i would know something ..tks for the help

Tiffany - posted on 11/15/2012

I am having the same problem with my daughter she will be 3 the end of december..... I dont know what her problem is.. She knows what her potty chair is there for, she even tells me to go to the potty she is in there when I go potty tells me when I do TO!!!! She wont do it at all.. I ask her to go pee pee and she will go to her potty chair she will even take off her pullup and say ewe pee pee..... I am lost on what to do... I want her out of these pull ups... I have a baby on the way and This is getting way to exspensive. I know she understands what this whole concept is. just so stubborn..

Lisa - posted on 08/08/2011

my 3.5yr daughter knows what we want her to do she just doesn't want to do it on the potty..she has recently started using the potty more during the day at home but I think that she doesn't want to interrupt her playtime. she will ask for a diaper sometimes if she is feeling stubborn (maybe I remind her too much?)..but the last 2 times she has pooed on the potty :) so here's hoping that she gets it soon!!!
good luck!!

Pamela - posted on 07/21/2011

I have a 2 and 3 year old and Cameron has a Language disorder so its tricky we tried a few times and This summer coming 1st of october we will be doing 1 full month of commando cause I know they take themselves if they are nude 60% of the time then we are going to put loose trouser on them for a month and then if they have it we will move to the undies. my youngest one wont do a poo on the toilet any more he used to but not is ages he will just refuse to do it ( stubborn) Cameron the eldist just doesn't quite get the whole big picture and until he does we have next to no hope Cameron starts 2 days a week of school next year (jan) so I really hope he has it by then !!

Cori - posted on 06/26/2011

I'm right there with you. My daughter is nearly four and can't seem to make anything happen in the toilet. She's started to be willing to sit on it, but she also asks us to help her. I've told her she should pretend she has her diaper on...I'm pretty sure she understands what's supposed to happen. I think the problem is she isn't understanding her body's signals yet. We've started just randomly going in there with her and having her sit on the toilet, but so far no success. We have a potty chart for her and sparkly stickers to put on it when she succeeds. She's excited about it, but hasn't begged for a sticker or anything. She understands she has to perform for it, and just can't seem to do it. Another mother I know told me she had the same problem and it continued until her son's friend said something to him about still being in a diaper. She said he potty trained that night...Hmmmm...

Stephanie - posted on 05/15/2011

We have had huge success with peeing(no accidents in weeks, even at night) no luck on the poop though. Any advice?

Jennifer - posted on 04/15/2011

I have a 4 & 3 year old, both of them are now out of diapers and sleep through the night with no accidents or pullups. I was told by a friend, who owns a Special Needs Daycare...She said the best thing you can do is let them go commando...No undies, no diaper, no bottoms...if they have something there, they will go...Sure there were accidents, but not as many as I thought there would be! It was great advice because I was getting frustrated. I tried rewards, potty dances, taking them to the bathroom with me..nothing worked until my friends advice came into play :) Good luck!

Candace - posted on 04/12/2011

shes a little girl and little girls are easier in the summer time buy a couple few dresses and some panties and in the summer time just let her run around with them on let her mess her self it will take time she will learn the feeling and just start going. i have two girls and thats how i did it both times each time took only two weeks and yes pull ups are nothing but a diaper that u pull up... they have gerber parties that are padded that will help catch some of the mess... hope that helps!

Pamela - posted on 03/24/2011

there is hope! I tried Everything with my Son Cameron who has a language and comprehension disorder he is a Jan 08 Baby and just 10 days ago he decided that was it and just started taking himself I did nothing differently I honestly thought he was going to be 4.5 before I could get this sorted. I wouldn't say he is full trained as he forgets to put his pants back on afterwards but we have had hardly any accidents and even had three days of liquid poo poor mite.. I guess all I can say is stay at it they will get it I was never one to believe they get it in tier own time but my son has proven me wrong it was his choice and that was it . good luck everyone

Jennifer - posted on 03/14/2011

My daughter was doing ok on the potty until we got a 2000 Flushes cleaner that turned the water blue. It scared her to death and now refuses to sit on the potty. It's been two weeks now and she still won't go on the potty. I'm hoping it will pass soon. Before, she wouldn't tell me if she had to go potty at all. Even if I'd ask, she would always say no.
When we potty trained my son, we had a jar of jelly beans and told him that whenever he'd go pee, he could have one jelly bean and if he went poo, he could have two. When that didn't work to get him to poo in the potty, we took him to a toy store and let him pick a special toy. We told him that when he would go poo in the potty, he could play with the toy. If he went poo in his pull-up, the toy would be taken away... it worked. sounds mean, but it really worked.

Alison - posted on 03/04/2011

pull-ups have been great....for bedtime only! during the day, my daughter is in undies and (not always but..) usually lets me know when she has to go as she does not like to be wet.

Angela - posted on 02/17/2011

We had the same problem with out daughter. It is a time consuming process. The thing that worked best was putting her in panties like everyone has said. She made messes but clothes AND kids are washable. If its a bad mess than the undies can be replaced. Your daughter may also have a larger bladder than you know. We found that out with our now 3.5 yr old when they ran tests after she had a uti. We always think that children have tiny bladders and try and force them to go potty all the time but she may not have to go. It is hard, I know but it will happen. Keep your chin up and dont get too discouraged. Hope that helps. :)

Cassie - posted on 02/17/2011

Im sure you have tried this but I just put my daughter in big girl undies and she did not like the feeling of wet unders and legs. yes it is quite messy to clean up all those nasty spots (when in the car...I put A towel and a plastic bag under her) It did not take long before she kept them dry!

Marlene - posted on 02/17/2011

Agh! It can be crazy. My 3 1/2 yr baby girl has given me issues for the longest time. Being a big 3yr old we can no longer fit her into diapers or regular pullups. I had to find big kid night time underpants just to fit her. She has been very stubborn, tantrums, etc... FINALLY- i bought a NEW potty chair after throwing the other one out and buying a little seat for the toilet. Neither worked. The new potty plays music when liquid or other touches sensors on the bottom of the cup. Believe it or not- IT WORKED. It was difficult to get her to use it the first time. I had made her, kicking and screaming, wear her big girl underwear. She wet them the first time around and i think she finally felt upset about it. so again choosing to put her underwear on her with a fight. she decided the next morning the new potty was in the house she would sit down. She tinkled and got so overly excited about the music!.. within a few days she got the idea of when the underwear are on she cant wet them. if they get wet- RUN TO THE POTTY! I even went as far as to let her put the potty in the living room for easier access. This also seemed to help tremendously. She still wants her pullups but is also finally understanding when the underwear are on it is potty time. I also try to make an enormous deal about it. We hoot and hollar and high 5 and do a party on the potty song a dance. im sure it will take a while for her to completely use it but its a start and a good one finally. I had followed so many ideas by so many before this and nothing ever worked. I give credit to the musical potty chair that comes in either pink or blue. Found it in wal-mart of all places, not too expensive. oh, we also went to the store to let her pick out her big girl underwear... she chose tinkerbell. Best of luck to you! I understand how difficult they can be.

Tanda - posted on 02/16/2011

Try 3daypottytraining.com. It's kind of expensive and takes a lot of patience, but it worked like a miracle on both my kids when NOTHING else would. I was very grateful to find it!

Michelle - posted on 02/16/2011

My now 14 year old had no problems with tinkling in the potty...it was poo-ing that we battled over. She would pee in the potty, but grab a Pullup for the poo. I finally got fed up, stashed the Pull ups in the closet, and refused to give her one. The first and last time she went looking for a Pull up and didn't find one, she copped a squat in the hallway, I scooped her up and plopped her on the pot. She did what she did and we cheered her for doing it on the potty...and that was the end of that.

Just put away the pullups, but her in big girl panties, and ignore her entreaties, and her 'accidents'.

It's a power struggle at this point, I think.

(Oh, I forgot---we did use the Pullups for bedtime..but after the first couple of nights, we threw them away.)

Kelly - posted on 02/16/2011

*IT WORKED FOR ME!*
we gave my daughter a "potty party" which is an idea from Dr. Phil. we had also tried getting her to use the potty when she was about 22 mos. but it wasn't working because she was stubborn and didn't want to.
then, when she was about 28 months we tried again. she remembered her 2nd birthday party, so that helped that she knew a party would be fun and include gifts. we made using the potty a "rite of passage" into being a big kid. we told her that everyone uses the potty once they are old enough to know how, and that after the party she would use the potty all of the time. so we spent a few weeks preparing for the party by teaching her to use the potty and how to recognize when she had to go before there was a mess.
we invited all of our family members (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents) to the party and asked them all to bring her gifts of panties.
at the party we ate cake and celebrated that she would not use diapers anymore. after she opened all of her "gifts" we all danced around the room singing "NO MORE DIAPERS!" and everyone threw a diaper in the trash can : ) it was over the top for sure, but it was fun and exciting for her to see the respect she got from her family.
after that, we put a pull-up on her at bedtime for about three months. she only wet it twice, so i stopped buying them after that. to this day, she has had very few potty accidents.
i loved that the power struggle didn't go on and on, but was abruptly over once the party happened. i would say, though, that i was fully confident that she COULD go potty in the toilet. she had done it the first time we tried, but just wasn't ready to see it as a good thing. i think you might need to talk to your daughter about the feeling she has before her diaper gets wet, and address it a little more biologically with her so that she realizes she is in control of her bodily functions.
anyway -- the potty party was great, our family remembers it fondly -- and i have never had anyone tell me a more successful method that they used.
hope you have fun with this!

Erin - posted on 02/16/2011

I am a mom of 3 and i have had several different potty training experiences, the fact that you're little one is asking for help to go potty may meen she is simply not ready and does not understand her urges yet, I know 3 seems late but actually it is pretty normal to be 3 and not potty trained yet, so don't beat yourself up over it, let her do it when she is ready, leave the potty chair out where she can easily access it and alway make the big potty available as well, give her space to explore the idea of pottying, but if you would like to keep her on it longer, try putting on a video, or reading her a book while she sits and give her plenty of fluids so she gets a strong urge and not just a little tingle, but the best thing to do is give her time, good luck to the both of you.

Christina - posted on 02/15/2011

My daughter was the same way....she refused to potty train until she was 3 and the only way i got her to do it then was i took her to walmart and i let her buy all the panties she wanted....she was so excited about getting to buy actual big girl panties, once we got home i threw away her pull ups and explained how nasty they were and that she didnt need them anymore and that was it....i never put another pull up on her...she had a couple of accidents but that was it...within a week she was fully potty trained....the hardest part was getting past the power struggle....after that it was easy. fyi....im sure you have figured this out already but pull ups are the worst thing that have ever been invented and i dont recommend anyone that i know to use them

Stacey - posted on 02/15/2011

i have twins girls.. with them i just never put any underwear on them at all kept the potty in the living room with me and them and if i seen them start to dribble then quickly put them on the potty and praise them and they got excited about it.. it did take time,most days they still forgot to tell me, i did tell them off for this but they loved the fact that they got to wear big girl pants after about a week or 2.... just make sure u close doors mines sometimes went in the kitchen or landin and would do it there without telling me lol...

Cori - posted on 02/15/2011

My daughter (3 1/2) is EXACTLY the same way. I read most of the previous comments posted here. I think you've been given loads of good advice, but if your daughter is really like mine...I think you just need to wait. I have two other children who were pretty easy to potty train, but the difference is that they seemed to know when they had to go - before they did it. My daughter really doesn't seem to know when she's about to go. She only notices afterwards. I've chalked it up to develpement and resigned myself to a little longer in diapers. I hate the idea of treats when she uses the toilet (loads of people have recommended that) but I did tell her that when she has successfully learned to always use the toilet and no longer wears diapers, I will buy her a special toy. And I will. Hopefully that happens before she turns 16 and wants a car...just kidding. If you find something that works, please post it! Just be patient. As they approach age four their "logic" ability grows in leaps and bounds. We'll figure it out! Oh - I also agree that pull-ups make it take longer, BUT they're less comfortable to mess in (they absorb less) and they fit in 3T and 4T pants better than diapers, so we're using them. Just FYI...Good luck! Cori

Elizabeth - posted on 02/15/2011

I have three daughters and I had the same problem with my youngest. Here's what we did. We all lined up on the bath tub, my three daughters and me. We started cheering, gimme am A, gimme a M, gimme a Y. We all took our turn to go...but never asked Amy. We just kept it really upbeat and happy and just waited for her to make the decision. From that day forward she was potty trained. Biggest piece of advise I can give you is to relax and not be stressed about it. Our kids pick up on everything we feel and when we make it too intense they become nervous and stagnant. Make it fun and invite her to join you or follow you and most importantly don't feel any pressure from your friends or relatives because their little babe has been trained since 2. If the truth be known, they probably have tons off accidents and will more than likely regress. Focus on not focusing on it....it will happen when she is ready. I hope this helps.

Tara - posted on 02/15/2011

I was in the exact same situation last year. My daughters are 15 months apart in age and I was at my wits end trying to get my oldest potty trained since it was past her 3rd birthday. I had tried everything! The treats, toys, charts...nothing worked. My daughter was really wanting to go to school so I took her to where she will be attending preschool and we looked at the playground and I explained that only big kids went to school there that know how to potty. To my amazement she remembered and every time she went potty she reminded me that she could go to school now. Her sister got potty trained at the same time too, wanting to do what big sis did. Hope this helps and good luck!

Bonnie - posted on 02/14/2011

try to put panties on her and tell her that she is a big girl now and that she needs to use the big girl potty my daughter is 2 1/2 now and she is almost fully potty trained she wouldnt potty train until i put panties on her and now she goes in and gp potty like a big girl we r just tryign to work on the cup at night so we can get her in to full panties and not a diaper at night like she is now but good luck

Dawn Cuomo - posted on 02/14/2011

Don't focus on the potting, focus on the process. When she sits tell what a big girl she is and when she says shes done and she has not pee or pooed just say, "No, no pee or poop, thats ok maybe next time. If you put to much pre sure on them they are not going to want to potty. Your little girl has not made the mind and body conection yet and she probably won't until you start to hit and miss peeing and pooing and it becomes more of a routine. She is only 3 this is not uncomin for her not to be potty trained yet. All kids are different and learn to do things at thier own developmental level. I like to give the kids books or toys while they sit so this keeps them busy and it RELAXES them so they are not tense. You can give her a picture book on potty training. I have 2yr old who I am trying to potty train and it is a slow process and she does go at times but is not interested in it. So I do not push. I put her on the potty and if she goes great and if not great. I always tell her good job or thats ok maybe next time. I give her m&ms when she goes and she loves that but only when she goes. I'll even show her the M&Ms as a reminder and wants them so bad that she will try but she only gets the candy is she goes. I wish you luck and please don't stress she will eventually learn to go potty. :)

Julia - posted on 02/14/2011

Hi when my daughter turn 2 I had started the potty training. I had tried regular pull ups but that didn't work because she actually forgot to pull it down when it was time for to potty. I had also tried the cooler pull ups that turns cold if she potty on herself she just laugh and actually enjoy going in the pull ups. I even tried putting the potty in the bathroom so whenever I go so she could go and it didnt work. So I took my daughter to walmart and brought her Dora patties and told her that she is a big girl and if she wets your self she will get wet. Of course in the beginning it was tuff in the beginning whenever I had to step out I knew she will potty on herself so I had her potty in the back of the car and extra clothing. I went to food shopping my daughter will pee on herself all I did is change her outfit in the bathroom and showed her the toilet that's where she was suppose to go. I went to the mall the same thing. I had visit my son pre-school she would do it on herself and eventually I started to realize she will tell me "mommy I got to go" so I will rush to the bathroom and she wil go and everytime she went I gave her Dora stickers that she love very much. 2 days before she turns 3 years old she started to go to the potty yes every so often she had accidents but she learned and eventually there was no more accidents. It took me about a year to figure out the way. It's all trial and errors. Stickers was the treat I gave my daughter till she completely was potty train. She be turning 4 in august and no more pull ups. Good luck!

Kim - posted on 02/14/2011

Hi there - it sounds like she doesn't know what it feels like before she pees - and that's a really hard thing to explain. That's what I found with my son. This is what we did - we took him out of diapers and pull-ups completely. The more uncomfortable she is in her own pee, the easier it'll be to train her. I put him in track pants all the time so at least they mostly absorbed the pee and often didn't make any mess on the floor. I told him he would get "all kinds of treats" if he peed in the potty - that wording seemed to really work for him. The first day we started he had accidents all day. I was giving him lots of liquids so he would go a lot. The last two pees of the day, he started to pee and I then put him on the potty so the last half of the pee got into the potty. Then he got really excited and said "now I get all kinds of treats!" Which he did. So the next day he was motivated to go by himself, and only had two accidents all day. By day four, he was completely trained and stopped having any accidents.

I should mention that was the second time I tried. The first time he was 2.5 years old and I sat him on the potty every 15 minutes like the books say, but he just got so resistant to sitting on the potty that he refused to sit on it anymore. So we gave up. I tried again 4 months later and decided not to sit him on the potty at all, only when I caught the second half of the first couple of pees like I mentioned, and decided to use treats as well. It was a much more effective method for me and totally worked. I should also mention I think he was just ready at that age - the other reason why it worked so quickly.

I always try to remember that no kid goes to grade school in diapers so don't stress too much about it. Hope that helps and good luck to you!! :)

Dympna - posted on 02/13/2011

i had the same problem with my daughter when she was that age.she had no interest what so ever in using the potty or anything that did not involve a diaper.final i found this dvd called once upon a potty.the make different verision for boys and girls and there is a program on there for parents to watch frist. i let my daughter watch this dvd for about a weak before i tryed pushing the potty again.then after about a weak she was using the potty for the most part and i cut down on the diapers to bed time only. eventualy i stopped putting on diapers for bed time. by 3 and a half we were done with diapers. hope this helps

Sara - posted on 02/13/2011

I suggest training underwear, that way she will feel wet and uncomfortable but its still easy to wash. It took my daughter several months to learn to pee on the potty but now that she gets it she uses it pretty consistantly. Wether your kid is stubborn or not potty training takes patience. Switch to underwear. Get books on peeing in the potty that she can only read while sitting on the potty. Hang in there, don't let it be a power struggle. she will have lots of accidents in underwear but will motivate herself.

Sally - posted on 02/13/2011

The fact that she is so stubborn and you have made such a big deal about it may have doomed you for a while. Toddlers are all about control. If they can control something that is so very important to mommy, mommy is not going to win. If you need her out of the pull-ups for financial reasons, get some cloth training pants. They don't cost much more and over the long haul will be lots cheaper. Then just leave her alone. She may be much more willing to be a "big girl" when it matters less to you.
Good luck

Christa - posted on 02/13/2011

I did use pull ups for my first and we had the same issue so in summer he was running around in just undies and he sion learnt where the tree was then the toilet, I did the same for my little girl except we used a potty instead of the tree and it worked... their rewards have only ever been my Li e and affection for toilet training. Goodluck.

Teri - posted on 02/13/2011

With my kids if I have an agenda (want them to do something for me, as opposed to do something on their own) they will always fight me. When I dont' care about the outcome myself, they usually come to what I want them to do on their own and are much happier about it.



My sons potty trained themselves.. they were potty capable at 3.5 but didn't get rid of diapers until 3.10 -- they did stop pooping in diapers about 60 days before they fully trained.



Some kids see this as a way to maintain power.. it's not worth having a power struggle over the potty as kids always win this one. I'd jsut let her take the lead, tell her that you are ok with whatever and that you'll support her no matter what and you may be surprised how the whole situation changes.



Potty training is a misnomer -- we aren't teaching our kids anything -- they have to have the maturity to do it all and if your child needs to feel perfected to do this -- before she tries, then you'll have to wait. I foudn that my friends who trained, actually trained themselves to ask incessantly if a kid needed to go to the bathroom and forcing them on the potty. This is a terrible stress for kids and not really needed. kids won't go to college in diapers... and forget the social pressure that's all in a parent's head and has does not honor the child as a unique individual.



Oh, on a side note, we let our kids run around naked outside (in summer) and in the house... this has really helped them know when they ahve to go and to go on the potty. underwear feels too much like diapers and encourages accidents.

Melissa Strotman - posted on 02/13/2011

I would definitely not use pull-ups. I used those on my first daughter and they just made things drag on a lot longer. My second daughter we wore diapers. Then we purchased the thicker training underpants. That is the last thing she can control and she might not be ready to give in to the idea yet. I didn't do rewards or candy or anything like that, however... she was really into play-doh and wanted the ice cream parlor play doh... so I told her when she pooped in the potty we would go and buy it that day. (she had previously mastered the pee pretty consistently) I also told her that if she didn't go in the potty after we bought it I would take it away from her. It was her controlling the situation. Another thing we did was have a BIG GIRL party. We invited friends over and we were lucky to have one with a baby... so we gave the baby all of her diapers and had cupcakes and sang. (I'm a big girl, you're a big girl... yada yada yada!) Best wishes.

Chloie - posted on 02/13/2011

Well its easy byt difficult really, just dont put nappies on her na dontchange her tell her shes a big 6irl now thats how uts done and u accept that aswell. Dont use pull ups kids dont unfetstand that they do like ud say think they are diapers. Dont reward dont use dolls just tell her wgat 2 do. Or when ud go shes goes 2 she may be st_born but ur the boss, goodluck anyway

Cara - posted on 02/13/2011

MY daughter will be 3 next month and for awhile we were having the same problem. We tried asking if she had to go, even let her play with her potty for a while to get her used to it, and you know what finally worked......we let her run around the house for a week without anything on from the waist down. It made for a few messes to clean up, but if you can actually see your daughter peeing then you can tell her what she's doing so she understands it. My daughter isn't completely trained yet, but the accidents are few and far between now. I hope it helps.

Heather - posted on 02/12/2011

have you run water? sometimesI will actually drip a little water on her while she is sitting on the potty. Does she recognize the act of peeing? When I set my daughter into the shower tonight she said "I Pee" and sure enough she peed when the water hit her. Have you tried catching her in the act and moving her to the toilet? like if she's grunting to poop or something. If she poops in her Pull up do you throw it in the toilet, to show her thats where the poop should go? Last suggestion I have is have you put her in panties and let her mess herself a few times, it doesn't work on my daughter, but some kids just don't see why they should put in an effort if the are wearing a diaper.

Stephanie - posted on 02/10/2011

She has been allowed to come in the bathroom with me for the past year, it doesn't seem to encourage her any:(

Nicole - posted on 02/10/2011

I have a little boy but I know what we did with him, and what my mom did with me, was he was always allowed to come into the restroom with us and see what we did in there. As time went on and he got older it was kind of a natural progression to "you want to me like mommy and daddy?" and he started going on the potty. We would make a big deal about it and he would get M&M's when he went potty, one for pee pee and two for a poopy. He is 3 now and we are ALMOST out of pull-ups. Have you tried letting her see what you do in the potty? And maybe taking away the pull-ups, maybe if she were in big girl panties and was uncomfortable when she wet herself that would encourage her to learn to potty. Sorry I can't offer any better advice but I hope she learns soon!