Help Home day care or facility????

Amber - posted on 02/23/2010

Thank you everyone for your input. I still have not found what is right for my son. I did check a licensed home daycare yesterday and found way too many kids and when I questioned it the woman told me one of the workers was just running to the store really quick. There were other things as well. I used to work in child protection I know what can happen when you choose the wrong person to trust your child with. I am so terrified, but at least I have time to find something. I am not going to let myself choose by distance, convienience or price. I am going to find something I am comfortable with. Also I do have a friend who still works for child protection and can let me know if there have even been complaints that were not founded so that helps.

Z - posted on 02/20/2010

In the UK, the daycare facilities are inspected and regulated. There are still huge disparities between them yet they all charge around £50/day. The best ones have loads of toys, follow government guidelines on age-appropriate education and stimulation and give daily feedback. They are all meant to be 4:1 I think, even the bad ones! Some are awful. It sounds like the USA is totally different. If you can find a good 'facility', that has to be best as your child will get to mix with others, and hopefully get the right 'education'; "0 to 3 matters". The home option sounds terrible and unregulated. As long as you can always pop in unnanounced, you can check on your child, and the others. The daycare I found had about 30 of the happiest smiliest children I had ever see, alongside gentle carers. That's how I chose it!

April - posted on 02/20/2010

I happen to LOVE the daycare facility my daughter goes to. I also work a flexible schedule so she only has to go a day and a half a week. I am allowed to stop in or call anytime to check on how she is doing. I have personally seen them limit themselves to a maximum of 4 children per caretaker. She does so much fun stuff there and they also only allow children under the age of two at the place she goes to so I KNOW there are only age appropriate toys. I have a difficult time with in home daycare simply because the TV can certainly be a way to distract them. There are no TVs at the daycare she is at so I know she is getting quality time playing with other children her own age.

Jessica - posted on 02/19/2010

Amber,
I understand your struggle and can empathize with you. My daughter is 13 months and has been going to an in-home day care since she was 6 weeks. It was very hard to leave her that first day and many, many days after.

I don't mean to scare you or turn you off from in-home daycares, since our daughter is now in her second in-home daycare and its wonderful, but our first experience was terrible and I tell you this so you can learn from our experience and make a safe decision for your child.

The in-home daycare we used was conveniently located just around the block from our home, so close we could have walked to it. The woman who ran it in her home seemed nice, seemed competent, and she had run the daycare for many years. She was DCFS qualified and had no violations against her, which we learned after we called the state number to check on her. She had a handful of references from current and past parents who have used her to watch their children. Everyone we talked to gave her glowing references. What I didn't learn from these interviews was that there had been complaints against her, they were just unfounded; she was reported by parents but the state could never find enough evidence against her.

Our daughter was in her care from March 2 until the middle of November 2009, when we learned from our sitter's assistant that our daughter was being neglected. She advised we pull her from the daycare and place her somewhere else. The sitter was only legally allowed to have 8 children; periodically I counted the amount of children that were there when I picked up my daughter since there seemed to be a great number- 9, 10, 11 children. I should immediately have spoken up and asked her why she had more than 8 children, but I was unsure. Was she only allowed to have eight- I couldn't remember, and didn't want to step on her toes or insult her.

We learned many horrible things from the assistant: children being hid throughout the home, and in the backyard playschool play house so individuals from DCFS or the state funded food program could not see how many children she actually had there. Children being force fed so she could get through lunch and watch her soap opera on tv; she had mold in her kitchen cabinets and silverware drawer, (which despite inspecting her home and the bedrooms where our daughter would sleep, we still never saw this); and the possibly the worst- our daughter was restrained and left, often unattended, in a swing most of the day. She would even leave her alone in the house and take the other children outside for a period of time. I discovered this when I came to pick her up one day and she was sitting by herself in the swing, staring at the wall. I was infuriated and scared for my child. Anyone could have entered the sitter's home and taken her from the swing; by the time the sitter entered the home I had been standing there for over 5 minutes with my child, waiting for her to return.

Because of her being neglected, just today my husband and I took our daughter to a certified therapist to determine why she's not yet crawling, standing, or putting weight on her legs. We believe her definite delay is because she was left unattended, and not allowed to be on the floor to work on building her muscles, since there were so many other children running around.

Your son is older, so perhaps he is past this hump in his development, but our daughter is now struggling to catch up.

I would advise that whichever route you take, to do the leg work before making a decision. I don't know what state you live in, and what sort of resources they provide you with, but if you choose an in-home daycare call the state, see if there are any violations against the daycare worker. Ask them if there have been any complaints. And interview the daycare worker themselves, ask as many questions as you can think of (not asking initially, only to ask later will only make it more awkward), and ask to see their entire home. Ask how many children they watch and their ages. Ask if they have any assistants to help them, which is a definite advantage. If you EVER see more than the allotted children in the home, ask immediately why there are more than 8. Make it clear your position on this; stand strong and be brave for your child. I was a wimp, but in the end, I was angry and was straightforward when we pulled her from this woman's care and told her in no uncertain terms she would not be returning ever again.

If you choose an in-home daycare, go for one that provides you with a daily update; our new one does. The assistant to our former sitter quit her job and now watches our daughter, and one other little girl (also taken from the previous sitter's care) in her home. It's wonderful! Our new sitter provides us with a one page sheet which states how often she changed her diaper, whether she had any bowel movements. What she ate and when, how long she napped for. What activities she did that day. And if she ever receives an injury, for whatever reason, she gives us a written statement as to what happened and what treatment she gave our child. It's wonderful to know what our daughter does during the day. It gives us a little window into her world when we're unable to be there to see it.

If you go to a public daycare, check the prices first because they can be hugely expensive. Also check if they segregate the children by ages or if they're all thrown in together. That is one downfall to a private daycare in that they keep the children together so there is not necessarily age appropriate play for your child. Ask the public daycare the experience of the teacher, what qualifications they have, what activities they do with the children. And, the best possible outlet for good information, ask if they give out other parent's info for you to call them and ask about their facility.

I hope this helps you! I know now how to better handle myself in this situation, now that I've seen the bad side of it. Don't be afraid to ask as many questions as possible to whoever you talk to; you may become known as "that pesky mom" but it's worth it when it comes to your child's welfare.

Annette - posted on 02/18/2010

I've used both & prefer home daycare. They will get more indiv. time and it's a more relaxed atmosphere. You have to make sure you are upfront about his fallin asleep method, as some won't want to do that. Steer clear of daycares that take too many kids, they are in it for the money!!

Heather - posted on 02/17/2010

i used to work daycare, and i can tell you that they may not be able to rock him tos sleep always and he will be awakened by other children. it won't hurt him though he will adjust.
either way just pick a facility or or home that you trust.

Lisa - posted on 02/17/2010

It must be hard for you going from someone you rely on to outside services. At 13 mnths your son will be fine in whatever you choose. You can expect a hard settling in period if hes only been cared for by family but usually after a few days they are fine and get distracted by whats going on around them. My daughter was peculiar about getting to sleep at home too, but at the daycare centre they just lie them down and pat them to sleep and it works! They know how to play us mums! I rang and checked my baby 3 times a day for 6 mnths (she only went 2 days a week) and they dont mind! I think its harder for us than them and socially they can benefit so much!