How do I get my baby to fall asleep on his own?

Mandy - posted on 12/08/2009

Hi, Well i did such alot of research and crying it out is SO wrong and can course problems later on in life. Im all for the attachment and natural parenting. My Son is now 11 months old and i still rock him to sleep day and night sleeps, he was sleeping with me half the night, but now he moves so much that i had to put him in the cot. At bedtime its bath, bottle and bed, i sit in a rocking chair with lights off, and i sing 2 lullabies say i love him, and kiss him, i then put his dummy (soother) in and sh him, it only takes 5mins, he is fast asleep, i carry him over the cot and lye him on his tummy, yes his tummy, he turns now, so no stopping him, and thats what he wants. He is a very light sleeper, but so am i and always has been.
Like you said, there are only babys for a short amount of time, enjoy EVERY moment, cuddle as you like Tanya! think of animals and birds! do they leave there young alown to sleep??? NO is normal and natural for babys to want there Mums (or carers!) they NEED to feel save, not feel the world is bad. Yes crying it out works, but why? babys lean to no that there mother (or carer) is not coming, so they stop, they wake up and feel so frightened or want something, but they know that crying for there mothers is not going to work, so they go back to sleep! how bad is that!
I can go on so much about this! look it up on the web, or on the Natural parenting sites! they are also trying to ban crying it out, as studies have proved it can course depression and all kinds of mental issues later on in life.
and who wants to listen to your baby cry for help anyway? they dont know any different, all there trying to do is tell you something, maybe they are frightened? they want there mother to say its safe and ok to sleep. Ive done this and i have a happy content baby who does not cry hardly at all! ive always listened to he coos, we did and have not let him cry, he is so happy and growing up to be such a delight.
Tanya, go with your instincts! what do you think!
hope ive helped! oh by the way i have all the information as im looking at being a Doula, for natural births. Please look it up.
regards
Mandy
xx

Christine - posted on 12/01/2009

i've been struggling with the same problem. my early interventionist said to put him in the crib once you see him drifting (he can't be fully asleep! this is where people make the mistake)..if he starts to wake, don't pick him up.. try and rub his head, rock him a little bit.. NO BINKY!! the whole binky situation is the child will wake up after the binky falls out so it's a problem the entire night! it takes a lot of time to get this under control so don't give up!

Stacie - posted on 12/01/2009

i am currently trying to do the same thing. my son is also 10 1/2 months. my son doesnt want to be rocked though. so that is why i am giving this a try. i agree with mandy crawford. they will let you know when they are ready for this. like i said my son throws a fit if he is being rocked unless he is taking a bottle. so i give him a warm bath and then i rock him with a warm bottle, after the bottle is gone i lay him in bed. he will usually roll around in bed for a while but after about 20 minutes he goes to sleep. but she is right, they are only little once so enjoy that cuddle time. my son no longer likes it and i miss it. no worries. maybe your baby is just not ready to go to sleep on their own.

Sara - posted on 11/30/2009

I couldn't handle the cry it out sleep method and gave up after two nights, I read the book "No Cry Sleep Solution". My daughter like your child sometimes will play in her crib and then start fussing, I have found that what works for me is to go in say night night, lay her back down with pacifier and bunny and leave, if needed I rub her back a few times or turn on a "womb" noise maker. Don't turn the light on don't engage in conversation or eyesight. We used to rock but started rocking for less time untill now we don't need to. In the beginning we went back in to lay her down for sometime, but now I only need to go back in only once or twice as she knows it is bed time. I recommend trying to alter this routine as soon as convienant, a toddler with an arching back and kicking legs will be much less fun to rock to sleep.

Katharine - posted on 11/30/2009

Never had a problem with my 10 month old. Ive always wrapped her, stopped wrappng her by 6 months, but now that shes crawling she gets wrapped or else she will just crawl around the cot, or stand up. Honestly I cant be bothered with all that rocking to sleep and stuff. Not that I dont love my girl but gosh Im buggered by the end of the day so I just put her in cot, pull the string on the lullaby toy, give her a pacifier and dim the light. My friend has gotten trapped into having to lie down with her baby, baby is now 2 and she has soooo many problems getting bubs to sleep. She cant understand why mine is so easy... I told her because by 7pm Im OVER IT!! and need some me time!! So into bed bubs goes!! Im very flexable with sleep times too, adjusting them to errands and activieties during our day. If afternoon nap time runs late, then the real bedtime will also run late.

Jamie - posted on 11/29/2009

Quoting Nicci:

My son has never been allowed to cry it out! And as a result, never cries unless he's really upset about something or sick. If he doesn't want to go to sleep, he 'shouts' with no tears, but we only leave him shouting for a few minutes and if he's really upset, he gets to sit with us for a bit. He's been putting himself to sleep since we left him in his cot at 3 months. It's mostly all about timing - as soon as we see him making any 'tired' gestures, like rubbing his eyes or moaning at his toys, we put him down; not just when it's 'time' for him to sleep. We also use the same routine everytime - mobile, music, words we say to him...and what helps is that he falls asleep with his bottle. If he moans, we try everything again - nappy change, new bottle, then music, mobile and put him down. Try the 'Baby Sense' books for tips and good luck!

I must say that you are a very lucky mother! Most people who never let their children cry it out at some point have spoiled little brats who need to be coddled all the time.

Jamie - posted on 11/29/2009

I rock my daughter until she is just starting to go to sleep and then put her in her bed. It allows you to keep your cuddle time but also lets them to fall asleep without you. At first he may cry a little because he isnt used to it but he will figure it out and you will both love it; my daughter loves her bed and doesnt sleep as well anywhere else!

Christine - posted on 11/28/2009

I find that the swing works wonders. When my little one gets tired she does fall asleep in the swing and I let her stay there for naps..It sometimes comes handy at night too but its getting her to the crib thats the hard part.

Jillian - posted on 11/28/2009

My daughter is 10 months as well and she goes down great for naps and bed time. I can tell when she is getting very sleepy then I lay her down, she may play or fuss for a little but always ends up going to sleep. My rule is if she is not asleep in 15 minutes from when I put her down I will go and get her. It was really hard for me to let her cry but knowing that she was not hurt or in pain and giving myself the 15 minute rule gave me piece of mind.

Nicci - posted on 11/22/2009

My son has never been allowed to cry it out! And as a result, never cries unless he's really upset about something or sick. If he doesn't want to go to sleep, he 'shouts' with no tears, but we only leave him shouting for a few minutes and if he's really upset, he gets to sit with us for a bit. He's been putting himself to sleep since we left him in his cot at 3 months. It's mostly all about timing - as soon as we see him making any 'tired' gestures, like rubbing his eyes or moaning at his toys, we put him down; not just when it's 'time' for him to sleep. We also use the same routine everytime - mobile, music, words we say to him...and what helps is that he falls asleep with his bottle. If he moans, we try everything again - nappy change, new bottle, then music, mobile and put him down. Try the 'Baby Sense' books for tips and good luck!

Mary - posted on 11/22/2009

I know from my own experience that it is very hard to break them out of a routine like this. It sucks to hear them crying, but it really does work (if you stick to it). My son was OK with napping when I put him down, but then my husband started letting him fall asleep cuddling next to him on the couch at night and that was the end of everything else. We tried the CIO method not expecting any results, but it really worked. It took three days and he was able to go to sleep in his crib and to get himself back to sleep if he woke up. We would go in his room after 5 minutes (if he was crying) and sooth him. Then my husband would go in after ten minutes and then we'd go in after 15 minutes. The key is to do everything, but pick him up. For us, I know once we picked him up he would not let go. He HATES to go to sleep. He is like a big kid afraid of what he is missing at night. My husband and I brought a noise maker for his room and we have left the TV on in the living room so he can hear "us". You need to do what works best for you. Letting him cry it out came after many failed attempts at doing other things.

Jennifer - posted on 11/22/2009

My doctor told me to let him cry it out...but I'm not heartless. So this is what works for me. During the day on a schedule I know he's tired 9 a.m. I put him down give him a softy that he only gets in his crib and I put the fishy motion thing on and his soother. afternoon 1pmsame. 8 pm. Night time breastfeed and still awake same stuff. If he cries more then 10 mintures i go in there to see what's wrong...somtimes he's standing up wanting his mommy I kiss him and tell him to go to sleep mommy will be back later. It hurts the first 2 days but I know a babysitter wont be able to rock him to sleep. And in the middle of the night depending on his cry he may just need his soother or he's hungry. Its tough finding a balance you will find what works best for you good luck.

Heather - posted on 11/22/2009

I'm in the same situation with my twin boys...What I am doing is..give them a warm bath before bed, and lay them with a comfortable blanket. I turn on their musical bear that plays classical music...turn off the light and shut the door. I've noticed in the past month since i've started this they are getting more and more quiet. Some night they might fuss, but you have to be strong and let them cry it out. For you I would suggest to watch a movie or tv show, or use some ear plugs. I hope this helps. It's been working for me...and it worked for my 1st born. :)

Mandy - posted on 11/21/2009

you DO NOT have to get him used to crying in his crib. i nerly have my son going to sleep alone, and that is by laying down with him until he is asleep. it takes no longer than 5mins.

saying that, what is your rush to have him go to sleep alone? he will do it when he is ready.

letting him cry can caue problems later in life. nt worth the risk, if you ask me. they are only little once, so enjoy him and your cuddle time. it wont last.



a good book to read is Elizabeth Pantley's "the no-cry sleep solution". i am currently reading it.

Aleesha - posted on 11/21/2009

hi, you may have to get used to him crying to get him into a routine, i know how hard it is listening to your baby cry and 1 minute seems to be forever but this is what i found works. this is not much help as youve said you dont have the heart to let him cry it out but it is for the best for you and him :)