How to discipline a 14 month old????

Rebecca - posted on 03/20/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My son is into EVERYTHING, he hits everybody he throws his food at me or on the floor he has the biggest tantrums kicking and screaming included and if i take him away from something he cant have (usually I have to pick him up if its in public) he throws his head back so hard Im worried he is going to hurt himself and he nearly always hurts me doing it. I am at my wits end I don't want to go anywhere with him anymore mainly because its embarrassing. Im not sure how much he understands but i DO know HE knows its wrong! i am just puzzled as how I can show him when he misbehaves there are consequences because everything is funny to him! And yes I do know he is a red head and a boy but hearing that all the time isn't helping the behaviour or what to do about it! ANY HELP will be much appreciated. Thanks.

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Katie - posted on 03/20/2010

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Being a nanny before having my little guy has definatly helped in these situations! My little guy has started throwing tantrums on the odd occasion too, turning into a toddler is hard work! I have found that the best way to get the message across for a little person when they have hit someone is to say "No, that's not nice, we don't hurt our friends" in a stern voice, pick them up, put them away from the fun and let them have a meltdown if they wish. They soon learn that when they're hurting people they get removed from the fun. When he throws his head back in frustration, just put him on the floor and give no attention at all. He will soon realize that behaviour gets no attention. As for the throwing of food, when he does it, pick him out of the high chair, onto the floor until he thinks it's not funny anymore then try again putting him in the highchair for food. Again, each time he throws food and gets removed from the highchair, he will learn that he doesn't get to eat if he throws food. He will understand these methods quite quickly, they're brighter than we give them credit!! Hope it helps :)

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Whitney - posted on 03/26/2010

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thank you so much for all your help i will have to try all of your suggestions

Amanda - posted on 03/26/2010

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I just don't pay attention to any of tose types of behaviors. If were at the store and he starts throwing a fit, we leave. It may inconvinence me in having to do my shoping later but he rarely does this anymore. Also I always try to make a REALLY big deal out of the good things that he does. Im always telling him "Mommy is so proud of you when you do that" My son is testing out the whole throw himself on the floor temper tantrum thing but I noticed that he always looks at me to see how Im responding to it. When he notices Im not paying attention to him its over in like 2 seconds and he is doing something else to try and catch my eye. As far as the hitting thing, havnt had to deal with that one yet but I probably would try to take him out of the situation and tell him no hitting hurts and you wouldnt like it if someone hit you. Also being very consistant helps I find just because I think at this age they are really trying to "test the waters" so to speak. I think it will definatly be easier to detour the behavior now rather than when he gets older. I hope that I could help. Good luck you can do it.

Debra - posted on 03/25/2010

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Stop giving him attention when he does it, walk away (if the room is safe). If he follows find somewhere he can be contained... a naughty place. Probably not his crib, but somewhere he won't be able to get to anyone to hit them. Start with a small amount of time and work your way up. Each time tell him why your putting him in there and also when you get him out. Ouch, hitting hurts mommy. Or if he just NEEDS to hit have him try taking out on something else... redirect him to a stuffed animal or pillow maybe.
I have not had problems with hitting yet, but these are things I've heard of that I would think would be worth a try if nothing else seems to be working.

Whitney - posted on 03/25/2010

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Thank you fro the advice on not smacking him back but it still doesnt tell me what to do

Debra - posted on 03/25/2010

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If you are having problems with hitting, hitting/spanking them back will just confuse them.
I have problems off and on with my daughter throwing food at meal times. I warn and say food goes in your mouth not on the floor. If she does it again I take the food away. If we are still eating our dinner I make her sit there until we are done. Sometimes it's just a sign that they are done eating since they can't tell you yet. It has worked pretty well, but she does test me every so often.

Whitney - posted on 03/24/2010

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i have a 14 month old boy he can be a pain some days just lately he has been on this kick of hitting i dont know if it is because we have been lightly smacking his hand after 2 verbal prompts to not hit or what need help because he also uses toys to hit as well. any ideas please let me know i dont really like to smack his hand i think he thinks he can hit because mommy and daddy do but when we say no he just laughs and hits again. we dont have any problem in the grocery store because he loves those carts that have the car in front he would sit in those for days if i would let him.

Miranda - posted on 03/23/2010

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well i guess i am old fashion but when my little girls has her moments, I tell her no in a stern voice, she looks at me then I count to three, if she doesn't listen I lightly pop her on the but with a plastic spatula. I have rarely had to do that, the counting usually does the trick. I don't believe that we should always spank but I do believe that at times you have to do what you have to do. I got spankings as a kid and I turned out to be just fine. :)

Amanda - posted on 03/22/2010

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I am so glad I am not the only mom with this problem! My daughter is 14m and also a red head with a temper. She has fits when I try to direct her away from where she wants to go, and when I remove her from things she shouldn't be playing with (like my dvd's and such), and she also throws her head back in anger and collapses her legs. In fact, sometimes she goes completely limp on purpose! When I am at home I try to ignore the tantrum, but she can go on for AGES! I am at a loss because ignoring her does not seem to working. In public, I usually have to pick her up if this happens, but it is definitely embarassing! I always told myself I would never be one of those parents whose child has a tantrum in the mall.grocery store, and that I would not give in, but what other choice do I have? Sometimes when she is acting up, I try to tell her to use her words, and I ask her what she wants, and if she can stop crying long enough to tell me, I will give her what she wants and she stops the tantrum. I think this is helping her learn to communicate better. Good luck with your little guy!

Camille - posted on 03/22/2010

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I don't know but this is what works for me... I just leave the situation if my 14 month old daughter acts out. I speak to her like an adult and ask her if she wants to go back. I ignore her if she's still acting badly and when/if she stops, I smile at her and take her back as a reward. Getting angry seems to feed it.

Alicia - posted on 03/21/2010

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My daughter is in a similar stage. She wants to go where she wants, do what she wants and "you can't stop me!". We started putting her in her room when she throws a fit. Now when she throws a fit I tell her to go to her room until she is ready to play nice and she goes. This doesn't work in public. Any ideas on grocery shopping? She hates being in the cart!

Amanda - posted on 03/21/2010

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I've been having this problem with my little guy, too. In fact once he bit me so hard that I still have a small mark on my arm (this was two months ago!). When he indicated that he was about to bite, I would look him right in the eyes and say sternly "You do not bite your mother.", then walk away. He would pout, but he'd get over it soon enough. Recently, "Mr. Spaghetti Legs" has been making public appearances. Whenever I try to move him in a direction other than the one in which he wants to go (i.e., if he's heading towards the street), when I take him by the arms, he immediately folds his legs and sits on the ground. I usually just let him sit there, and if he throws himself back, well, he ends up on my legs and feet, so he can't hurt himself. I just stand there waiting calmly. The fit ends, and we go on. If this happens multiple times in a given instance, I'll just pick him up and carry him. For awhile, it seemed like he was getting the message that fit throwing wasn't getting him anywhere, but today there was major regression on our walk, so I don't know. Good luck!

Rebecca - posted on 03/20/2010

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Thanks so much Katie will give it a go, I never had this problem with my daughter at this age she was a perfect angel. When she did start acting up, she was old enough to understand the naughty spot and that pulled her in real fast. I cant imagine my son sitting still in one place untill I said it was ok to leave hes still a little young for that. Much appreciated can't wait to try it out.

Katie - posted on 03/20/2010

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Being a nanny before having my little guy has definatly helped in these situations! My little guy has started throwing tantrums on the odd occasion too, turning into a toddler is hard work! I have found that the best way to get the message across for a little person when they have hit someone is to say "No, that's not nice, we don't hurt our friends" in a stern voice, pick them up, put them away from the fun and let them have a meltdown if they wish. They soon learn that when they're hurting people they get removed from the fun. When he throws his head back in frustration, just put him on the floor and give no attention at all. He will soon realize that behaviour gets no attention. As for the throwing of food, when he does it, pick him out of the high chair, onto the floor until he thinks it's not funny anymore then try again putting him in the highchair for food. Again, each time he throws food and gets removed from the highchair, he will learn that he doesn't get to eat if he throws food. He will understand these methods quite quickly, they're brighter than we give them credit!! Hope it helps :)

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