My husband is gone a lot and my son can't handle it!

Kim - posted on 05/22/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My husband is a firefighter and is currently working at 3 different stations and going to school. He is gone A LOT---sometimes four or five days at a time. This is all my son has known. He is fine when my husband is gone, but when he is home my son gets really fussy. He always has to be right by him. If my husband walks away for anything he will keep screaming "Daddy". My husband can't take a shower, cut the grass, anything! Sometimes he is even fussy when he is with daddy. It's like he doesn't know what he wants. Then when he has to leave (or we do) my son flips out! He is normally a very happy boy. I don't know if this is b/c he is afraid of daddy leaving again or if he is so excited he doesn't know how to handle the emotions or what??? Anyone else going through anything like this? Any suggestions??? Help!! It's getting to the point where it is easier when my husband isn't home.

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Melissa - posted on 06/08/2010

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Sounds like it's like separation anxiety. The father of my son and I separated last year and my little one didn't take it too well to begin with, we had a lot of strange behaviour to deal with. I think the best thing you can do is make sure that your little one knows when daddy is going to be there, talk about daddy when he's not around, maybe a few phone calls so that he knows dad is still around when he's not there?, and most importantly, try not to deviate from your son's routine when dad is around, make some "special time" but try to keep things as normal as possible...we found that our boy adjusted much quicker to not having dad around by doing similar things. Good luck

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Yeah, I deal somewhat with the same thing with my son and husband. My hubby goes away for work a lot too and when he's home my son gets so excited and just wants to be with daddy and gets really fussy or more excitable when he's around. Yep I understand how it's can sometimes be easier when they are gone. But I guess this is a stage like all others and just hope they do get over it and get used to the way things are. I try to just maintain as much of a routine as possible when the hubby's home and try not to get all worked up myself because I find my son feeds off my own emotions. Good luck!

Amy - posted on 06/03/2010

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My husband works away for 2 weeks at a time and then is home for 2 weeks. He has been doing this since my 4 year old was 6 months old. They get used to it. My 16month old went through a stage of looking for dad and calling for him but I think that he has started to get used to it. My daughter sometimes gets upset and says that she misses and wants her dad. I get him on the phone so they can talk to him. When he is home they are very excited and like to spend a lot of time with him. They do get used to it.

Brandy - posted on 06/01/2010

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my daughter is like this with me.. she is always stuck up my butt. i thought she would be a daddy's girl.. i don't know if it is because her daddy is in the army and deploys or if she is just a momma's girl. i can not leave the house with out her screaming and when i do leave i have to seek out the back door or await until she is a sleep. its so bad i can not take a shower. how ever she is okay with my mom and my sister when i leave and is fine with her daddy as long as i am not there. once i come in thats it in my arms she has to be.. i am hoping this is just a state she is in right now and that it gets better with age.

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My husband was constantly at work as well for the first year of our daughters life. She did the opposite though and was afraid of him because they didnt have bonding time. She has gotten use to him going and coming now. She is 16 months. She runs to the door when he comes home and yells daddy when he gets home and says bye bye and waves when he leaves.

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