My mother in law is so jealous & keeps telling me to stop breastfeeding, What should I do?

Krista - posted on 05/08/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have 3 kids and 1 stepson, and before me and my kids came into my mans (Mike) life, his mother was the only grandparent in both of my mans and his sisters children. Now that I am here, my kids have 2 sets of grandparents. Me and Mike have a baby together and his mother can't stand the fact that she isn't the only grandparent to this baby, she gets so mad when I want to do something with my mother or stepmother. She comes over once a week and spends 2-3 nights at my house and when I say I am going with my mom she throws a fit and wants me to leave my baby with her. My mom and stepmom doesn't treat my stepson any different then they do my kids, but my mother in law Jeanie always puts my 2 kids from a previous marriage on the back burner, but her grandkids can't do anything wrong. When she first came over she would make my son sleep with his sister so she can sleep in his bed but we have put a stop to that. But she still compains about it. She is constantly telling me to quit breastfeeding so she can take Lexi home with her, she knows I wont let her because she smokes in the house. I want to keep breastfeeding at least till she turns 1, but I do get do get discurraged when she is constantly complaining about it, she keeps telling me that her kids was feed with formula & they turned out fine. I do pump & feed her from the bottle everynow and then, when I go out to the other kids ball games or go to the store. I dont know what to do about her jealousy towards my mom, Jeannie does see her way more then my mom does and I've tried to have both of them together but Jeanie wont let anyone else hold her when shes there. Please give me any advise on what to do I would appreciate it.

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4 Comments

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Ashleigh - posted on 05/12/2009

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keep breastfeeding!!!!!!!!!!!!

CoreyAnn - posted on 05/08/2009

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Don't stop breast feeding!!! I can't believe someone would actually tell you to stop. I'm sorry about your situation, it has to be hard. If I were you I would put some space between the you and your mother in law for a little while because she obviously doesn't have the best intention for you or your family. Just tell her that she is being too over bearing and you need some time with your family too. I know that would be hard but I think after hearing what you said, that would be the best thing for you. I would also sit her down and tell her that if she doesn't start behaving like an adult, then perhaps she shouldn't be around as much. State clearly that YOU are the parent, YOU created and carried YOUR baby, and YOU were the one to give birth to YOUR child. Have confidence that you are raising your child right and follow your insticnts, your doing a good job ;) Hope everything works out, best of luck!

Christy - posted on 05/08/2009

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You absolutely do not need to stop breastfeeding your baby! This woman sounds to me like she has a FEW boundary issues. You will need to discuss with your husband how to enforce boundaries with this woman. He needs to support you, you are the mother of the baby. She has no right to be so forceful with you and your family. You need to let her know her place and if she has a problem with that well that is just to bad. Being a working mom you do not have as much time with your baby so the time that you do have is very special to you and you definitely don't need the extra stress this woman causes you. I would start by cutting back her weekly visits to once a week with no over night stays. Its hard to unite your growing family with Grandma constantly in the background.
Please do not get discouraged about breastfeeding because of this woman. The best thing for your baby is your breastmilk (who cares that she bottle fed her babies formula). The next time she complains about it tell her if she doesn't like it than don't watch.
I agree with you, none of your children should be staying at her house over night or visiting during the day. Second hand smoke is very dangerous for all people especially children.
I could go on and on about this situation. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I know its hard to stand up to an in law, but I really think you are going to have to put your foot down and keep it down.

Amber - posted on 05/08/2009

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Well first of all don't stop breastfeeding your baby until you want to. Breastmilk is the best you can give your baby and if it is something that is working for you and your baby then why would you stop. Plus formula is expensive and not as good for baby. Obviously she has some control issues and that is not your problem. You need to do what you feel is best. She obviously doesn't see a problem with smoking around your baby either which for me would be a huge issue. Either you or your boyfriend need to let her know that this is your child and you are going to parent her the way you guys decide. It may not work my boyfriend told his mom that and now she just acts like I don't exist. Does she have to come over to your house so much people like that are so much easier to deal with in small doses. You don't need to leave your baby with anyone anyway if you don't want to. I personally hate being seperated from my baby and I am not willing to do it for anyone. I do have to work and that kills me, but I will not let anyone have my baby and leave. YOU are this baby's mom and no one else. You make the decisions and don't let her make you feel bad. So definately don't stop breastfeeding if you don't have to and do the things that make you happy even if she is not happy with it. Take care of yourself