Separation Anxiety? Anyone? Anyone?

Tiffany - posted on 12/23/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Okay, my daughter is 11 months old and it seems that she has developed separtion anxiety issues. She wants to be with me or hold her ever since she was sick for a period of time. When she gets down from me or the couch, it is okay, but then doesn't want me too far away. I used to be able to take a shower and watch her play in the bathroom, but that becomes a meltdown everytime now. Also, she used to sleep from 8 til 7 all night, now she wakes throughout the night and wants us to stay in there til she is asleep, and heavens forbid she wake up or open her eyes and we're not there. Naps are the same issue. Used to have no problems with nap, but they too are issue. She is in a Mother's Day Out program 2x a week and seems to have no issues with that (although she refuses to take naps there), but what do I do when I have her the rest of the week or at bedtime? HELP! PLEASE!

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Timara - posted on 12/28/2009

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Thanks ladies! I so needed to hear all of this. My little evie is 11 months and is teething, just had a cold, has separation anxiety from my husband ( who has been working away most tues to fris for the last six months) and is so actively crawling everywhere it's hard to keep her entertained. The teething is really bothering her and baby panadol, sm 33 and teethers do not seem to help. She was a wonderful sleeper, having two 1.5 hrs sleeps a day until the cold and teething started 3 weeks ago. We are struggling to get any sleep during the day now even when she is exhausted and quiet, as she will just start crying when we start on the sleep routine. It is strange that she still manages to sleep through from 7 to 7 though. We do not use a dummy as evie has always been able to self settle. Should I try one? Evie is also sitting up in her cot so I am trying to persist with laying her back down quiety and saying 'it's sleep time baby'. It's a stage I know but it is intense. My husband adores our baby but I am also worried she sees him as a walk over as he has not been around a lot and now will be caring for her as I am working. Any advice appreciated.

Marquita - posted on 12/27/2009

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Well Moms I am going through the same thing with my 11 month old son. @Natasha I am with you the following you around can be cute but annoying because you feel like you cannot do anything on your own anymore. My son will not go to anybody for long w/o a fight unless you have something that he wants. He is such a momma's boy LOL. Tiffany I would say try to distract her with things that she enjoys while taking a shower or cooking or etc. They go through so many phases that sometimes we just have to be patient (easier said than done I know), while trying to find something that works. My son has never slept through the entire night and so once i get him down for bedtime i just go nurse him back to sleep. Nap time can be a real struggle but i eventually try to rock him to sleep while patting his butt and he fights but eventually goes to sleep (sometimes this does not work so i try to change up). We have a stress hormone called Cortisol and once it is secreted we have missed our window of opportunity to get them to sleep (don't panic not always). Cortisol makes it difficult to fall asleep and if you fall asleep it can make it difficult to stay asleep. The best advice which is the advice i give myself is to get them down 2 hrs after they wake up and if they skip that last nap move their bedtime up (try to be consistent i am trying now). Also, if she is not getting enough sleep this could be contributing to her meltdowns as children her age should still get at least 12-14 hrs of sleep (If only they would go to sleep with ease and not a fight right?) I am about to take a suggestion that my son's pediatrician gave me some time ago because my son has always been fussy and he was colicky at one time and that is chamomile tea. It is a natural way to soothe them and help them to settle down. As soon as I can get some i plan to add cinnamon to it and see if it helps any maybe you could try this at bedtime. @Jenny (you are not a bad mom) does your daughter spend a lot of time with him? Maybe she just feels very comfortable with him or enjoys playing with him. Ok I am done I hope that anything I said helps somebody out including myself LOL.

Natasha - posted on 12/23/2009

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My daughter cannot stand when I leave the room. If I go use the restroom down the hall, she has to follow. It's cute, but annoying. It's worse with her dad, she's a total Daddy's girl. If he starts playing video games, she will rip the cords from the TV to get his attention. I really hope this is just a phase.

Rae - posted on 12/23/2009

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I am going through the very same thing! Sometimes she'll be ok playing by herself, especially if I have Yo Gabba Gabba! on TV for her. She loves that show!! I sometimes wish she was attached to my husband as much as she is to me, because sometimes it gets annoying!

If anyone has any replies on this, please do! hehe!

Jenny - posted on 12/23/2009

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My daughter is 11 months old and is also going through seperation anxeity! She loves her grandad and cries her eyes out when he goes out the room!! Even when I hold her and she sees him...she will want to go to him! I feel like I am a really bad mother! :(

Megan - posted on 12/23/2009

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My daughter was just like how you describe your daughter. My daughter too is 11 months old. I have come to find out that if I walk away from her, like give her to my mom or my dad and then walk away she hollers uncontrollaby for about 1 minute and then stops and goes back to normal play. There are times now where I (or her dad when we are at his house) are the only ones she wants when she's trying to go to sleep. It's a security issue. They don't necessarily feel secure, especially after being sick, without mommy. My daughter had a horrible cold and it worsened because she was trying to have teeth come in at the same time, and ever since then her separation anxiety has gotten worse. I do notice that although my baby sleeps with me during the night, I can put her in her crib at anytime and she's fine as long as she has her leapfrog dog violet with her or her gorilla stuffed animal. Maybe make sure she always has her favorite toy with her. That way it helps a little with the security.

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