How do I get a my son to stay asleep in his own bed?

Danielle - posted on 02/15/2010

my son is 19 months old and we have a lot of sleep issues... when he was born up til 8 months old he was in our room with us then we moved and he went in his own room.. it has been hard ever since.. he will sleep until about 4 or 5 am everynight (sometimes straight sometimes not, bed at 830 pm everyday reguardless) after that he only wants me he will fall back to sleep if i hold him and i can put him back down but he wakes every 10 minutes from then on so he comes in our bed every morning... it is the worst choice ive made because its everyday and cant get him out.... i still put him to bed by holding him and dont know how to change that habit either.......help??!

Rebecca - posted on 02/15/2010

our litttle one started getting up and screaming for abaout 30 min., at a time every 30 min minutes after 3 nights of this we took him out of his crib and put him in a toddler bed who would have thought that would work but he has stopped screaming and is back to sleeping alnight again

Laine - posted on 01/28/2010

We are experiencing the same thing with our 18 month old. I think her wakefulness is due to cutting teeth and it would be cruel to ignore her when she is in pain. It is very hot in her room at the moment too so I have been taking her downstairs and patting her to sleep on the couch and sleeping her in the portacot in the air conditioning. It only takes about 15mins to settle her to sleep and I see this as part of the job description - if I wasn't prepared to soothe my daughter when she was suffering then I should not have become a parent. This is not to say however that children do not just do it to seek attention and to be a pain in the butt. If I thought that was what my daughter was doing then of course I would do exactly as Alisha said and be firm to be fair. The first step is figuring out why your 18month old is waking. If they need something then we are responsible to give it to them, if he's being a little rotter and seeing how far he can push the boundaries then march him back to his bed. It is just too common for people to misunderstand the concept of the cry it out technique and end up neglecting their childrens needs. Misbehaviour requires discipline but children have needs too and sometimes acting out (especially as young as 18months) can be their only way of expressing that they need something. I hope my rambling made some sense and was helpful!

Jamie - posted on 01/28/2010

We have been going through the same thing with our 18 month old daughter, it started last October. It is very hard, but I am following what Alisha and Brandee both suggested. I received the same advice from my pediatrician. Definitely do not let him in the bed with you, that is the mistake that we have made (and are suffering for it now). You know how it is when you are exhausted...and I don't always function well in the middle of the night. So it just seemed easier to let her sleep in our bed than to fight with her to go back to sleep in her own bed. We have tried this for a few nights now and walked her back to her room probably 100 times. As always, the key is consistency. Just don't give in. I figure a few more nights without sleep will be worth it in the long run. Good luck!

Brandee - posted on 01/26/2010

Is your son in a toddler bed or crib? Alisha used the technique we will use when we switch to a toddler bed.. For now my son is still in a crib.. He has been waking up because we recently took away his pacifier and moved in with my in-laws.. After about 10 mins of crying I go in, don't say anything, lay him back down, cover him up, and just ssssshhhhhhuuuuuussssshhhhh him until he is back asleep.. Usually take a couple of minutes.. If it takes longer I don't say anything, I lay him down and just stand there.. I gradually move towards the door every couple of minutes until I am out of the room and he is asleep.. I wouldn't recommend putting him in your bed because that is a battle I don't think you want to have.

Alisha - posted on 01/25/2010

We just went through this with our little guy. When he comes out of his room just calmly and quietly march him back to his bed, no excuses. Be very sweet but stick to your guns. It's VERY tough to do the first night! Your heart will break and everything in your body will tell you to run in and hold him, but believe me, if you can make it through the first night that's usually all it takes (sometimes 2). We must have put our son back to bed 30 times the first night. By the second night, he got it! Now we all sleep better and actually we are all happier during the day too! Good luck!