hurting themselves out of frustration

Pink - posted on 08/04/2010

my son still doesn't talk as we have 2 languages in the family so he gets very frustrated very often and bangs his head on the floor and I try to say stop and only if i'm there physically I can stop him otherwise if I'm not close enough he manages to hurt himself and I'm worried he could really do some damage but have no idea how to help other than say stop, don't do it and the weird thing is he was doing this when he was younger, stopped then started again...He'll outgrow it but it's scary and worrying.

Ewelina - posted on 08/03/2010

Wow! My son bangs his head on the floor, in the walls, at the table glass top ,in the door etc. The new thing is biting. He bites me, cell phone, books and toys. I started to ignore his behavior and it works most of the time. Sometimes I have to say with poker face "STOP".

Melissa - posted on 08/02/2010

well my daughter doesnt do that she holds her breath til she passes out when she was (18 months) which scared me so much she still does it not as often tho at the age of 2 but now she has a new thing that she does she pulls her hair sometimes she pulls some out. i don't know what to do about that.

Michelle - posted on 08/02/2010

My daughter who turned two on Friday starting doing the whole banging her head on things if she wasn't getting her way. Because she is able to talk in short sentences so has a good level of understanding of language when she started to bang her head, I told her that if she hurt herself banging her head I wouldn't cuddle her to make it better. I would ignore her and walk away (still close enough that I could see what she was doing but not that she could see me). It was hard but after only a few times the head banging has stopped. Hope this helps

Ashlie - posted on 07/30/2010

from a psychological and behavior modification point of view ignoring the bad behavior is what you should be doing. She is doing it to get attention. BUT although I am in school for this, I can't help but pull a mom card out lol. My twins are also 2 (my daughter does not do this but) my son throws the BIGGEST tantrums, he bites things though, bites furniture, his clothes, etc. I just look at him and say excuse me? and then he laughs and its over with... but once in a while if he is going to hurt himself I put him in time out and tell him he needs to calm down and then he can get up and that works

Melissa - posted on 07/29/2010

My Older son who is now eleven did this as a toddler. The Pediatrician told me to just walk away, as hard as this is...They might have a few marks on their heads, but won't hurt themselves to cause serious damage, at least that was what I was told, and seems to be true!

Sarah - posted on 07/26/2010

Hi Staci,

My daughters, who are almost 4, use to do this when they was around 2. I had just had my third baby and one daughter was much worse then the other (twins) she would throw herself on the ground and bang her head... awful to watch. One day she did it on the garage floor... concrete! By now I was very distressed by it and took her to the Paediatrician. He told me to ignore the whole thing ... literally get up and walk away, do not respond to her at all. Very hard to do, but it worked. as soon as the tantrum was over, and she wanted a cuddle or whatever I would be back in her 'zone' like nothing happened... completely calm. Within two weeks, she stopped altogether and she has not had one since. All the best x

Staci - posted on 07/26/2010

Thanks Victoria! I can tell you from having the first one, that it does go away eventually. Biting is hard, my son when stressed used to hit, you are doing the right thing by disciplining, Just be consistant, I think! Hang in there!

Victoria - posted on 07/25/2010

My daughter does the exact same thing although she started before she was 2 (about 18 months) she too bangs her head against the car seat if we're in the car and if I try and stop her she goes to bite me. I've had many bruises on my arms where she's biten me when frustrated. Other times she starts hitting herself in the face and when she does I'll just grab her arms so she can't do it anymore but that seems to get her more frustrated. Hopefuly she will grow out of it. When she bites me I do punish her with the naughty seat so hopefully it will sink in as she gets older

Staci - posted on 07/25/2010

Thanks Sara, my 4 year old did that in the middle of a move....I can tell you it's normal and you are doing a great job! It's also normal for them to hurt themselves, hopefully you won't go through this, but who knows?

Sara - posted on 07/25/2010

My son hasn't done that yet thankfully but he does try to smack other people when he is tired and frustrated. We grab his arm and tell him a stern NO and if he does it again then he gets time out. Don't put up with it.

Staci - posted on 07/22/2010

Thanks! I appreciate the feedback, with 2 so close in age it's hard to always prevent her from hurting herself, but I try. I think ignoring is a great idea...

Rebecca - posted on 07/22/2010

My son also likes to do this. He'll bang his head on the wall, the pantry door, the floor, my legs, whatever he is close to. I ignore this behavior. Simple self-preservation will prevent them from actually causing any permanent damage. They usually stop once they hit themselves hard enough to bruise or hurt. I know it sounds mean, but since they are not likely to cause themselves true injury, giving it as little attention as possible is the only way I can think of to try to get rid of the behavior. I'm also trying to teach him the words for his frustration, but, of course, that will take time.

It's nice to truely know that there are other moms with this issue, though.

Andrea - posted on 07/20/2010

Move her from the wall. Lol. My son did that too, and I would move him away, and he would then hit his head on the floor (good thing we have carpet). But whenever she does that move her away from the wall, and she will learn that she can't do that, or one day she will hit it hard enough and not do it again. O, 2 year olds, my little man is my joy, but there are those moments that I too feel like banging my head on the wall. I will pray for you!