My daughter is scared of everything!!

Teressa - posted on 03/30/2009

Around month six or so babies will start to have separation and stranger anxiety -- they become aware of the fact that some things are unfamiliar, shocking, etc. The best advice I can give is to try to keep yourself calm -- not just vocally, but physically. Your daughter can sense your tension; if you're getting anxious because of her anxiety, she'll know it, even if you're putting on your best brave face for her. Try to keep your body relaxed, your voice quiet and soothing, and be as patient with her as you can. I know its exhausting because it robs you of any peace and quiet right now, but if you can be patient now, it'll pay off later.

My daughter freaked out the other day when she saw her grandmother (my boyfriend's mother) -- she sees her once a week or so and isn't entirely familiar with her yet. My boyfriend initially said, "Eh, its good for her, she has to learn how to deal," but I had to disagree -- by forcing babies into situations they aren't ready for, you'll only create a nervous and frightened baby. This is a delicate stage for babies -- if you can stay calm and show her that new things are okay, and if you can show her that she can trust in you to be there for her when she's scared, she'll most likely grow into a secure and curious toddler.

 Try to keep her with you as you go through situations that frighten her. Give her time to look at her new bath seat from afar; let her play with it, examine it, etc while it is outside of the tub. Then put it in the tub and turn on the water and let her check it out from outside of the bath. That sort of thing.

If you go somewhere unfamiliar, let her stick with you. If she starts to warm up to everything, try something small and slow -- letting her play peekaboo with one of your friends as she sits next to you. Then try letting your friend hold her while you sit beside them and you play a game of peekaboo with her.

The main idea is to take it slow and stay calm. The world is a very big, scary and new place to her right now.

Granted, there's always the role genetics play in the situation -- if you have anxiety issues or if anxiety runs in the family, she has the chance of having the same thing, but a huge part of the way she feels about things is by watching you. She will learn what she lives. If you're calm, she'll be calm, too.

I hope something here helped -- sorry it's so long! Good luck!!

Bethany - posted on 03/29/2009

It's not exactly the same but my son is TERRIFIED of his cousin who is five days older. She learned to crawl much earlier than him and used to try to climb on him- she's also a little more "vocal" than him and when she would make a loud noise he would just break down...now anytime anyone yells or makes a loud noise his lip starts to quiver and the huge tears come on (he never has tears when he cries- except in these cases).

Shanna - posted on 03/20/2009

I'm glad others are in the same boat :) I hope it passes soon! It does feel good to be wanted but I don't want her to be so shy with others - especially my good friends that she sees all the time

Christina - posted on 03/20/2009

It may just be seperation anxiety.  I know that most babies will hit a stage where they just want their parents but I'm not sure the age.  I think I recall someone telling me it was around 9 months.  Mycah as started to act that way a little to.  But it's mostly if I try to leave the room for a minute (walk to kitchen or something).  He hasn't really got scared of others yet but the whole getting mad when I leave the room is very recent.

Alycia - posted on 03/20/2009

Yeah actually I just noticed that with my son too. He only goes to the same two people to be babysat and they're both my best friends and he's been there A LOT and now when I drop him off he stares at me and screams like crazy. He used to be very interactive with other people but now when I take him places if someone gets too close holy moly he'll lose his cool and cuddle right into me. It is nice to be wanted and needed but I'm afraid he's going to become TOO attached and I want him to be able to be comfortable with other people too. I also can't leave the room if he's there as soon as he sees me walking away even if it's into the kitchen where I can still see him most times he just sits there and cries until I come back and he's fine.



It's the strangest thing, maybe it's just a clingy not wanting change kinda stage. That's all I can come up with, I'm hoping it'll pass though...but I'm kinda nervous because come April I'll be with him even more than I am now if that's even possible, so yeah I'm just hoping it's a stage and if I keep putting him in situations with these peopls he does know that it'll get better.