how to get kid to listen

Melana - posted on 02/28/2011 ( 16 moms have responded )

18

67

0

well long story short my daughter dont listen to me what-so-ever, i feel i have tried almost everything and nothing seems to work, how did the rest of you get your kid/s to listen? i need some advise before i lose it lol just kidding but any advise would be appreciated.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Judy - posted on 08/06/2011

12

10

0

You will not loose it you probably need to change some of your parenting techniques. It can be overwhelming but if you start when your child is very young your line of communication develops and grows with them. But it is never too late, just start to talk with your child and use the alone time with them to show them your undivided attention. Use the approach with you coming down to their level: sitting on the floor together or the small tobbler tables. Ask questions to your child, give them a couple of your expectations and make sure they understand what you will need them to do. And give your child assurance; hug them, smile at them to let them know you love them.

Nikkia - posted on 03/07/2011

5

30

1

POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT! My 2 and a half year old listens so well! Every time she obeys, I say Thank you for obeying. You are a good girl. Good job... My 1 and a half year old is not as good at listening yet. When she does, I praise her a lot, and when she doesn't I explain to her that she needs to obey. If she still wont listen, She gets little spanks either on her hand or her little diapered bottom. Not enough to hurt, but she is very sensitive and it upsets her. I then sit with her and talk to her about why she got a spank and let her know that I love her very much, and that I tell her things for her own good because I don't want her to get hurt... This technique worked with my older daughter, But I think 20 months is just a really hard age. They don't always understand everything you are saying. They might understand the word, but not what you mean by it. Explaining why and having a reason for why you tell them what you do, I think helps. But the biggest thing that I think helps is positive reinforcement. Making them feel really good for listening and obeying. Even in the little things.

Valerie - posted on 03/06/2011

16

17

0

"happiest toddler on the block" is the best book I have ever read. I really loved it. There are several tips for everything toddler. Including following directions. I myself use time out and positive reinforcement for good behavior. Good luck!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

16 Comments

View replies by

Bethany - posted on 08/05/2011

6

10

0

Let her know there is consequense for her actions ( with whatever you chose to do) and follow through with them and be consistent. Children will test us to see what our limits are till we give in but we have to be firm in showing them we are in authority and they must respect that. Be consistent no matter what! Find every reason to praise her/ compliment her everyday and make sure she knows you love her! They thrive on that. Hope this helps. My daughter still has her moments where she will "try' us but for the most part she is well behaved....we started at a fairly early age.....makes it easier to control when they are older. Good luck.

Lisa - posted on 03/16/2011

1

0

0

My daughter throws everything, including food. I have tried yelling and she just yells no back. I have tried smacking her hand (not hard) and she just does it to herself. My child never (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) sits still so I can't do time outs, she just will not stay seated. I will keep trying the positive reinforcement I read some people suggesting and ignoring her when she wont listen. I know I didn't start this conversation but it sure was helpful. Thanks

Rabecca - posted on 03/10/2011

8

6

0

My little girl is 20 months old and I have been having the same problems. I have learned through trial and error that praising her goes a long way. I've tried ignoring, time out, stern voices and looks. Good luck! It is difficult because they are still so little.

Sara - posted on 03/10/2011

106

27

17

My daughter is 20 months old and we use the time out method. You just have to be very very very consistent with every punishment or praise. Children love consitency and routine. When she disobeys she goes in her time out until she stops crying and throwing a fit. She doesn't like it very much but it works. After she calms down I speak to her at eye level and explain that she didn't listen and that's why she's in her chair. Then i tell her to say sorry and give me hugs and kisses and then we go back to behaving.

Raewyn - posted on 03/09/2011

2

14

0

I read a book, can't remember the name but it talked about using natural consequences. They learn best when the consequences are exactly the same each time. Eg if they drop their food it falls to the ground. Our reactions should be the same, if they throw a toy, then we take if off them. If they run away they will have to go in the pram. They talked about not yelling/screaming/smacking but letting the actions do the talking. I am finding it keeps me heaps calmer (most of the time). Don't think i have explained it awesome but hopefully you get the drift.

Jenny - posted on 03/08/2011

3

3

0

I hate to tell you this but a toddler doesn't have the ability to listen to everything you say. Just keep the positive reinforcement but the most important thing is redirection. I have a 19 1/2 month old and I use short words like "not nice" or "gentle."

Jenny - posted on 03/08/2011

3

3

0

I hate to tell you this but a toddler doesn't have the ability to listen to everything you say. Just keep the positive reinforcement but the most important thing is redirection. I have a 19 1/2 month old and I use short words like "not nice" or "gentle."

Nikkia - posted on 03/07/2011

5

30

1

POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT! My 2 and a half year old listens so well! Every time she obeys, I say Thank you for obeying. You are a good girl. Good job... My 1 and a half year old is not as good at listening yet. When she does, I praise her a lot, and when she doesn't I explain to her that she needs to obey. If she still wont listen, She gets little spanks either on her hand or her little diapered bottom. Not enough to hurt, but she is very sensitive and it upsets her. I then sit with her and talk to her about why she got a spank and let her know that I love her very much, and that I tell her things for her own good because I don't want her to get hurt... This technique worked with my older daughter, But I think 20 months is just a really hard age. They don't always understand everything you are saying. They might understand the word, but not what you mean by it. Explaining why and having a reason for why you tell them what you do, I think helps. But the biggest thing that I think helps is positive reinforcement. Making them feel really good for listening and obeying. Even in the little things.

Jo - posted on 03/05/2011

66

8

3

Ignore her. If she starts screaming and crying to get your attention, tell her once to stop and then ignore her until she behaves. If she wont listen to you, don't listen to her. Show her what it's like to be ignored and she'll start paying attention. My son responds very well to time outs. He's almost two, so he gets 2 minutes. He hates it, but it works.

(He was a thrower. Always hitting his sister in the head with toys. Not a good thing.)

Reeva - posted on 03/05/2011

31

50

1

My daughter turns 3 in 3 months, she is a very good listener. I praise her for listening and come down on her like a tonne of bricks when she does not. I use to constantly send her to time out and explain to her she is making me upset by not listening, we are at a stage now that I will say to her she needs to put her ears on or she can go to time out, she apologizes i give her a hug and we are back on track.

Reeva - posted on 03/05/2011

31

50

1

My daughter turns 3 in 3 months, she is a very good listener. I praise her for listening and come down on her like a tonne of bricks when she does not. I use to constantly send her to time out and explain to her she is making me upset by not listening, we are at a stage now that I will say to her she needs to put her ears on or she can go to time out, she apologizes i give her a hug and we are back on track.

Melana - posted on 03/02/2011

18

67

0

it just gets so exhausted all i feel like i do is yell and i hate it :/ but thanks for replying :)) hope you figure something out also.!

Crystal - posted on 03/02/2011

97

21

10

my daughter is 20 months old and doesnt listen to a word I say either. I have tried yelling, time outs, spanking, and asking nicely. The only thing that sometimes works is threatening to send her to bed.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms