Mom of a 4 & 1/2 month old girl!

Ashley - posted on 12/19/2009

It's nice to hear that I'm not the only one that had this issue. I felt so guilty as well because it seemed that all my other friends who just had babies naturally did the mother thing and loved it. I, like you, had a really hard time bonding with my son. I wanted so much to have a vaginal birth and pictured the perfect "mother meets son" moment. After 36 hours of labor and 4 hours of pushing with an epiderual that didn't work, I had to have a C-section. I was so out of it I don't remember seeing him for the first time or anything. After we took him home I would just look at him, knew I needed to take care of him, but felt very little. Please don't feel guilty because it's out of your control. Sometimes it takes time to build that relationship. I also had a difficult time with depression afterwards and recently got help from my doctor. She put me on medication and I've never felt better, been the happiest ever and for the first time LOVE being a mother. Not that I'm saying you are depressed but that was part of my problem.
It definately helps that they are more active now, rolling, talking, smiling, etc. If you are still having some issues please talk to your doctor or maybe find a close friend to talk to about your feelings. Getting everything out in the open really helps. Just know your not alone and if you need to talk, were all here for ya!

Shelby - posted on 12/18/2009

I had my baby girl on July 14 as well. I thought that I would bond with her as soon as she was put in my arms after birth, but it didnt work that way and that is ok. I too feel guilt but you cant let that consume you, or your thoughts just be thankful that you are bonding with her now.

Ashleigh - posted on 12/18/2009

Dont feel guilty with my first i din bond till she was 6 months old i had really bad post natal. i felt awful! thankfully now i have bonded with her and it was much easier with my second baby and we bonded perfectly. Its very normal for women to get depressed especially if this is your first baby the life changing shock is alot to handle. I'm sure your now doing brilliantly and don't worry it gets easier from here on.

Melissa - posted on 12/18/2009

I had my little girl on July 15th. It was a huge change. I have two llittle boys and I think that the bond with my daughter is much different. Do not feel guilty for not bonding with her. Everyone bonds diferently. It is happening and you should never feel guilt for anything. You are doing a wonderful job and never forget that!

Melanie - posted on 12/18/2009

my first son was c section because he was very very sick, When my 2nd son was born on the 22 of July 2009 via c section i was just so happy that he was healthy, After having lost my first son i really beat my self up for have another c section but i'm just so glad that i have the opportunity to love and get to know him. life is short. just love them. As parents i think we are just built to feel guilty. it's because we love them and want the very best for them

Michelle - posted on 12/17/2009

I had my little girl July 15 after an ordeal with liver cholestasis and gestational diabetes(didnt ahve either with the previous three girls I have) and to top it off,I was considered a high risk induction not only due to the diabetes but because my second and third had umbilical cords around their necks,second was in the NICU for almost 24 hours.Well when I was having my little one,the doctors dropped her,literally off the table hit the floor,severed the umbilical cord and tore out half the placenta missed her and they never even toldus what had happened exactly.My last one is with my soon to be second husband and this was his first and only child so he had no idea how big the mistake really was that they had done.She so far has no side effects from the ordeal and has rolled over a few times and tries to sit up constantly.....due to her rough start I find I m overly protective of her,just as I had started letting go of my older three.....my life wouldnt be as great if it didnt have her in it as well :))

Lindsey - posted on 12/17/2009

I had my little one on JUly 14th as well :)

Meghan - posted on 12/17/2009

My daughter is a rolling fool!! She never stays in one spot. I had just started putting her on a blanket on the floor and I layed next to her but not close enough so she could touch. She had to roll to get to me. I think it helped cause like I said she is a rolling fool! She sat on her own yesterday for about 20 seconds. It was awesome!

Angela - posted on 12/17/2009

Dont feel bad I think it happens to alot of women just nobody ever talks about it! I felt the exsact same way. I also felt really bad about it. For some women it is just a huge ajustment that takes a little longer for some. I know exsactly what you mean how it has gotten easier. My son is now 5 months and I would never in a million years wanna do over the first 4 months! Dont worry it only gets easier every day from here on!

Francine - posted on 12/17/2009

Everybody donds differently and at a different time. Are you not or your child not sleeping? try giving a bath with bedtime bath before bed. quickly she or you will start sleepin through the night.

Mil - posted on 12/17/2009

I would agree it is different with every mum about bonding. My baby boy was born on 28th July and through Csection but on the third day when he opened his eyes..... I felt his bond and mine ever since. He stops doing everything and just stares at me and nothing can distract him from doing that...his daddy says am his sun. His insticts let him know that i want to go away and when am around. He has two teeth now, trying to sit but not on his own, and rolls over from tummy to side to back and to tummy.......

Ashley - posted on 12/16/2009

I had my daughter the same day!! Everyone is different and no one can plan for hormones! I thought I was going to have a rough time but nothing ever felt as natural as after I had her. Does your daughter roll over often? Just curious my daughter has only rolled twice and it was only in her crib...

Franchesca - posted on 12/16/2009

I had my baby girl on 7/30, 7 weeks early! She was due 9/18!! Anyhow she was in the NICU for 18 days and it definitely made it difficult to bond with her. I was feeling guilty a little bit, but now it's great. It specially helps now that she smiles at me when she sees me. It apparently didn't affect her at all.

Chanel - posted on 12/16/2009

Don't feel guilty. I had an emergency c-section with my daughter (22 months) and didn't bond with her for a long time. I was in ICU for days afterwards (Dr mistake that almost killed me) so I didn't even hold her until she was about 2 1/2 days old. It took a toll on me emotionally but eventually we clicked. My son was born on July 14th as well and it was also a c-section but it was somewhat planned but totally different. From the moment I saw him I was in love and I never thought that was possible. I never had that with my first and didn't expect if with my second but don't worry the bond will come and she will never know the difference. I had horrible guilt because nobody (except nurses) held my daughter for a day and a half because my husband insisted that I be the first one to hold her. Since I was in ICU for so long it took longer than expected but it all turned out.

Shalaina - posted on 12/16/2009

I'm glad to know that I am not the only one who didn't bond right away, also. I felt very guilty, too, which just made it so much worse. He was born on July 19th and is also trying to be independent! I know how you feel about night time! Good luck!

Nicole - posted on 12/16/2009

my baby girl was born july 29th, it was just the first week where I found it hard, as I was so sleep deprived, but once I got sleep and i do every night now, thank god lol, I just feel heaps better and bonded so well with her, I actually find I cant be without her, I barely leave the house without her and i feel like shes all mine.. my partner has an 11 yr old to a previous relationship and i feel like I cant share my baby with her half sister coz she is my daughter and her half sister is not, I think its coz Ive always wanted my own kids... but im sure you'll bond, maybe its lack of sleep getting to you?

Nina - posted on 12/15/2009

I had my baby girl on July 5th, and my life has also changed A LOT as well. There have been times where I felt like I haven't bonded with my baby so well either and then I realize that I'm probably just being silly and worrying about things that don't need to be worried about! Haha! I'm sure that you are doing fine with your bonding, just keep it up. Things will continue to get easier everyday, and as far as the night thing goes, well just keep working at it and that too will eventually get better...I guess you just have to have patience. Good Luck!

Lisa - posted on 12/14/2009

Dont worry about anything Meghan we are sure you are doing a great job no matter what. You're bond will grow even more day by day :) we all deal with things so very different, but that doesn't make anyone any good or bad from everyone else. Keep up the good work....as the saying goes, "it's the hardest job you will ever Love". xoxox

Keren - posted on 12/11/2009

Hi all I had my little girl on 9 July too, she is a lovely little thing. Her big brother will be 4 in June. She had clicky hips and was in a pavlik harness for nearly four months so we are now playing a game of catch up with the rolling and sitting etc. Being a parent is wonderful, do not feel guilty about not bonding straight away it doesn't always happens. What matters is that you have now and you are enjoying her :-)

Michelle - posted on 12/09/2009

Hi and welcome. Definitely don't feel guilty. Hubby actually seems to think that I have bonded better with my daughter this time around but I actually don't notice that I am any different between my son and now my daughter. It was probably abit different for me as the first time around I ended up having a c-section after being in hospital for 5 days and having 5 unsuccessful inductions so by the time I had the c-section I was so exhausted and very sore.

This time around it was a planned c-section so everything was alot more relaxed and recovery time was amazing. That is probably why hubby seems to think I bond better with my daughter.

My actual due date was 6th August but my little girl was delivered on 27th July.

It is really lovely when they start to roll and try to sit up. She is doing that at the moment.

Sarah - posted on 12/06/2009

Dont feel guilty, its different for every mum. I have 4 kids & some i bonded with straight away, others i did not. I love them all but realise that the different stresses i was going through when i had each changes the way we bond.

Good luck & remember your doing a great job!

Tiffany - posted on 12/05/2009

DO NOT feel guilty!
I had a C section and felt the same way.
I felt like I didn't "give birth" to my son, and was very sad I didn't feel that "instant bond."
We are working on it, and it grows stronger every day!

Nakita - posted on 12/05/2009

my due date was july 14th, but i had my lil girl on july 9th!! she has also changed my life for the better, and i don't remember what life was like befor her!!