My almost one yr old will not listen!

Missi - posted on 07/01/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )




I know he's only 11mos, but I KNOW he understands what I'm saying. He used to stop when I said 'no'. Now he just keeps on and keeps on, and completely ignores me and I'm losing my patience. If he can use sign language to tell me he wants milk or more, I'm pretty sure he can understand 'no'. I'm thinking about starting time outs. Just putting him in the playpen for a minute. But he's such a chill kid, that I don't think he'll even care or get the point he'll just move on to chewing on the playpen or whatever. What do you think?


Lauren - posted on 07/14/2010




I know the feeling well. My daughter uses signs to tell me what she wants yet still didnt listen to no. She even started nodding when I said no, with a big smile on her face like she knew exactly what she was doing. I started changing the words ie when she touches the oven use hot not no when she touches things that brake ouchy and so on. This is really starting to work as its not always no that shes hearing. To re enforce this when I had the oven on and she came over and went to touch it I held her hand and got it close enuf to feel the heat and said hot. This has really worked she now crawls to the oven and raises her hand to it, if its off shell happily use it to stand up but when its on she shakes her head and crawls away.
Best of luck

Heather - posted on 07/14/2010




Most children won't fully listen to you until they are 3 years old! They aren't going to understand the meaning of NO until they are closer to 18 months or two years old. I have been babysitting children since I was 12 years old, and I have a one year old and almost 3 year old of my own. Time outs can work, also, keep things out of his reach so that you won't have to tell him no all the time. He doesn't understand what No means yet, and he won't for a while now. You have to SHOW him what you mean by saying No by taking things away from him and also by removing him from the area that he isn't supposed to be in. I hope this helps.

Paige - posted on 07/14/2010




a child will not understand the full concept of NO until he/she is at least 20months, so disipline will be wasted...and spanking would be hitting your baby for no reason.

At this point redirection, actually, getting up, removing them from the situation, and place them in front of toys, books etc. is what is going to work. You will have to do this more than once. Parenting is hands on, not trying to yell at your baby from across the room to get results... good luck., you can do it!!!

Heather - posted on 07/08/2010




i may get a sneer or two for this, but Keagan get's a spankin'. He started doing the same things when we KNEW he understood 'no' because he recognised it before. So, when he doesn't mind he gets a spankin, it usually works, but he is a boy and likes to push our buttons. : )

Genia - posted on 07/01/2010




yeah...just cuz he can understand what you're saying doesn't mean he has enough self control to obey. Kids that age just don't have ANY self control! That's one of the reasons "they" (lol who is they?) say not to use "no" too much - they get desensitized to it when they don't even have the ability to respond correctly. The best thing for a baby is to prevent the things you don't want (ie keep no touch items out of reach) and rederect and distract with the things you can't remove him from. You have to do it over and over and over and over, yeah, that's parenting a toddler. It sucks but it does go by soooo quickly!

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Latisha - posted on 07/14/2010




At that age the time out is mostly for your benifit... to gain a moment of control of your emotions. While time out wont hurt him, neither will it correct his behavior at that age. Redirection works with some babies, and with others it doesnt. I have one that is very stubborn and no matter what I distract her with she will go back. In a situation like that a few minutes in the playpen with a few toys will not hurt.

Becky - posted on 07/14/2010




My daughter does this, too. She will even crawl toward the forbidden object, look back at me and smile, and reach for it. She knows I'll tell her not to, but she thinks it's a game, so she doesn't completely understand the concept. She's still learning. Time-outs don't work at this age, I don't think. What I do is move her to the middle of the room away from everything and walk away. I know I can still see her but I don't want her to think I'm moving her to play with her. When she's tired, sometimes she'll pout about it, but usually she just crawls over and plays with something else.

When I first started reading about discipline, I read things about moving the child to his/her crib for a "time out" if he/she wouldn't listen. I almost did that once...I got to her bedroom door, and then realized that if I established her crib as a place of punishment, she'd never want to go to bed there. So I didn't do it.

As everyone says, though, every child is different. So you have to do what will work for him, regardless of what others do.

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He's One..... You'll have plenty of time for time outs when he's a toddler. I have a 4 year old and have yet to get him to be a perfect listener. I also have a 1 year old daughter and just remove him from whatever he is doing you don't want him to while saying no so he eventually understands. And Vicky is right at that age they don't have the ability to know right from wrong they just want to explore. Be patient and don't give up it does get easier.

Angie - posted on 07/08/2010




I have been having the exact same problem. I recently read that babies this age have a desire to obey and make us happy but their desire to explore their world and make themselves happy is stronger. I don't think time outs will work yet because they won't have the effect you want. Like you said, they just find something else to do. Redirecting is better.

Leslie - posted on 07/08/2010




Just redirect.

Time outs won't be effective because he won't understand what is going on.

Pick him up and move him away from what he is doing wrong, and put him near toys.

Vicki - posted on 07/01/2010




I read somewhere that although kids this age have some understanding if the word no, they don't fully grasp it. For example, my nephew at this age would remember that he wasn't allowed to touch the stereo. He would make the uh uh noise, shake his finger no then go and do it anyway! He wasn't being naughty, just hadn't made all the connections yet. I would still just attempt to distract and redirect rather than time outs. This will pass.

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