need advice on my ten month old

Ashley - posted on 06/16/2010

Something that has worked well for us (so far) is trying to say something other than no. Saying no all the time eventually makes then numb to the word and they end up saying "NO!" back to you. We try to say what we mean. Some examples: My son loves to pull on the potted plant and tree we have in our living room and when he touches it I say "OUCH!" because it would hurt if he pulled it over on himself. At first and sometimes still he will cry or get aggrivated and try again but you have to just let them get upset and be consistent. Keep saying ouch. He also loves to touch the trash can in the kitchen so I'll say "YUCK!" because it's dirty. If you say these words direct and stern they will sense the tone. If he doesn't remove his hand I will go over and remove it for him while saying "YUCK!"
It will take some time of repeating YUCK, OUCH and STOP but if you are consistent then it will work. Ofcourse sometimes you just have to say NO! Hahahaha! When our little one throws a fit I just try to distract him with another toy or I ignore and let him get it out. I just try to think of how I would feel if someone told me NO everytime I went to touch something. I would be upset too. And when we say no repeatedly they don't understand that we are only trying to protect them. Hopefully someday they will :)

Jamie - posted on 06/14/2010

my only advice is designate a specific time out spot and dont put her there unless she is in time out, if you use her bouncer for play time then dont use it for time out, otherwise she willthink its play time during time out or viceversa

Genia - posted on 06/13/2010

sounds like a normal baby to me. Put the dog food up when the dog's not eating it or move it somewhere out of reach. Be consistent, continue removing her and distracting her. That's just what you gotta do with babies, you can't expect them to learn overnight. Eventually she'll be old enough to know to leave the dog food (or whatever) alone...then you'll have a new stage that drives you crazy! Welcome to parenthood, lol.

Tina - posted on 06/11/2010

i have found some new tricks...i let her play in her room where there is nothing she can get hurt on. i either stay there with her or i let her play by herself while i have the baby moonitor where i can hear everything she does. also if i let her play and explore without yelling at her she dont get in too much trouble

Tara - posted on 06/04/2010

Ha, this all sounds so familiar!! Its nice to hear everyone's different stories. I agree baby proofing is the best way to keep them out of stuff but there are some things that you just cant baby proof!!! For example my 10 month old girl loves to push the knobs on our water cooler and ends up unloading water all over the floor. I squeeze her wrist and say "TA TA" and she just laughs and eventually throws a fit, screaming with her head in between her legs.( It can actually be quite entertaining!!!) Anyways I agree they probably dont understand NO at this age but I think she knows when she's doing something she shouldn't!! I agree with consistancy, because at least if they don't know now they will definitly know later!! Good luck ladies :)

Loraine - posted on 06/01/2010

Hi Tina.
I've got 3 little darlings lol At this age they dont really understand what no means, the best weapon we have is distraction. My 10 month old follows her 23 month old brother everywhere. We caught them in the kitchen cupboard yesterday. He was handing her the screw driver while he emptied everything else out lol We moved them both (amid lots of screaming from the oldest) and gave the youngest a different toy to play with and gave them a cuddle and an explaination when he'd finished his little tantrum. It can be hard work, I know, but if you keep repeating the action of removing them and explaining (even though you might feel silly explaining to a 10 month old lol) eventually the message will sink in. Just keep being consistant and it'll pay off :)

Sheryl - posted on 06/01/2010

no advise, just wanted you to know you are not alone, my little guy does the exact same things !! He does not head butt me but he hits and if he is on floor he will throw himself down. He is starting to learn the word no but doesn't like it so when I tell him no he starts to put his head down and then when you are not looking he does it anyways !!

Terra - posted on 06/01/2010

Consistancy is the key. Just keep telling her no and distracting her with something else. I'm having the same problem with my 10 month old daughter. She has a thing for the garbage can!

Heather - posted on 06/01/2010

Maybe it's time to baby proof your house so that she can do things and explore without having to worry about her dumping over the dog food. Sounds like she is just curious, just like my baby girl. Boys are so much easier, my son didn't get into much and once we said no, he normally stopped. But baby girls get into more things, no idea why. You would think that boys would be more curious, but nope, girls are.

Good luck, but I would just pick up the things that she gets into and try to put them back down again after a few days and work with her on them. Teach her that it's not ok to dump the dog food over, but it's going to take a lot of repetition on your part.

Your daughter isn't going to fully understand the meaning of No till she's older, but for now, you can have fun trying. :)

Simone - posted on 05/31/2010

I noticed with my son that he really listens to a deep and stern tone of voice. I don't usually say "no" I say "ah ah ah, don't ...(touch, throw, pinch)" and he will look at me and quit. When he doesn't listen and really wants to keep going back to that object or behavior, I remove him completely from the entire room and stituation so that he's not tempted to go back to it. He will forget about it. I think the more I try and tell him to not do it over and over again, it becomes more of a game to him and he remembers that object or behavior. I did start ignoring him though when he got up on the entertainment center and noticed he really doesn't get up on it anymore because there was no reaction on my part. All of these things help, but they are exploring and will do what they think is interesting LOL!!!!

Heidi - posted on 05/31/2010

Haha! If they are getting into things they shouldn't, then it's not really baby proofed is it?

There are a few things that our baby keeps getting into as well - like the books on the bookcase and the CDs, which we COULD move out of her reach, but we would rather not have to. The only item that we have down that HAS to stay down is the dog water - and we have issues with that as well.

We use a loud AH AH sound instead of NO with her and it seems to help. It totally gets her attention and then we move her or redirect her to something appropriate.

If it's a huge hassle, then keep babyproofing and move the forbidden items out of reach of grabby, curious hands.

As a safety measure, I would always pick up the dog bowl and keep it out of reach. Not only can they choke on dog kibble, but dogs can become food aggressive if the baby is messing with their food, and you don't want to risk an incident. All dogs can bite - even the nice ones. Plus, it's healthier for dogs to eat at set times and not have food down all day long.

Agnes - posted on 05/31/2010

same thing w/ my daughter she's just going to give me a big smile every time I say no and then later she will do it again. just like now she's running away w/ my slipper... tata... got to run after...

Lexi - posted on 05/30/2010

from what I've read, babies don't have much of a memory yet at this age. My son does the same thing. Constantly getting into stuff and in the past week or so throwing a fit when I take stuff away. I think the best thing to do is stay consistent. Don't react when she throws the hissie fits or head butts you. Just take the item away, put her down in a safe area and walk away. she shouldn't get any attention for it. Keep on taking the items away, say no, put her down with something that is an appropriate play thing. She'll get it eventually.

Natasha - posted on 05/30/2010

my daughter is the same shes always pulling things out and getting into draws when i firmly say no she puts on the tears.i generally put her in her room with all her toys and let her pull her doll house apart shes satisfyed then

Niki - posted on 05/30/2010

I was having problems with my son when I said no. He laughs at me. I was watching a tv program (Cityline) last week and they suggested to replace the word NO with another like STOP. I have done this and it gets his attention. He has hissy fits as well and I am learning not to give in, its hard. I have a time out chair but he now stands in it and rocks it back and forth. I feel your misery:).

Melissa - posted on 05/29/2010

Everything that I've read says that around the 9-10 month mark is when they really start to learn boundaries. They are learning what "no" means and they will push...over and over and over and over! lol The advice that everyone else has already given--just keep telling her "no" and redirecting her--is the best possible way. It can be difficult to stick with...especially when they cry or do like my daughter does and laugh at me when I say no. But it is really an important lesson for them to learn and they will. We just have to grit our teeth and live through it...and clean up the messes! :)

Lisa - posted on 05/28/2010

wow, do we all have the same babies?? hehe I think your right whoever said it. It's the age and it's hard because they don't really understand too much punishment yet. But I still say no and redirect my son (10 months) in hopes that as he grows he'll slowly understand. The last thing I want is a 4 year old getting away with the same things! ya know?

Lisa - posted on 05/28/2010

My son is doing the same things. Sometimes the days seem very long and tiring (especially because he doesn't nap much either!) I don't blame him for wanting to touch other things - he gets bored with his toys after a while.
The main thing that works for us is to get out of the house as much as possible. We have started to visit all the local parks (several times a day if weather permits) and he's starting to love going on the swings and slides wih me. He also loves to crawl around on the grass and dig in the sand. Also we go to as many outings and baby groups as we can. If we manage to do all this he spends much less time wrecking our home!!

Nykee - posted on 05/28/2010

Be consistent! Some kids just take longer to learn "No" than others, but she has to learn it! I'd put anything that's dangerous or that you'd be heartbroken if she got into, and then just stick with "No" and redirecting her. As for the tantrums, I'd advise walking away as long as she's somewhere safe. If she doesn't get your attention or get what she wants, the tantrums should (in theory) stop. It's hard, I know -I completely understand- my 10 month old is so much harder to teach/tame than my 22 month old was!

Tina - posted on 05/23/2010

thank you all for your replies!

Samantha - posted on 05/23/2010

My son does the same thing... However, I don't have the dog bowls or water bowls down when he is crawaling around... He knows exactly where the water bowls is and if I don't remember to pick it up he is in it... He loves playing in water. the DVD's he will have them all over the living room. We took them out from under the t.v. and just clean up after him, if he pulls them off the enterainment stand. He seems to not bother them as much since we moved all the DVD's...... However when ever he throws a fit we ignore it. we tell him no, he cries we ignore it till he is done and he normally finds something else to do that he is allowed to do.He has gotten better. I believe he understands alot better now when we say no. You just need to try and not give in when they throw a little hissing fit.

Amanda - posted on 05/21/2010

they don't really understand No at this age. The only thing you can do is be consistent and remove her from whatever she is doing that is bad, and explain to her why she shouldn't touch or play with whatever it is. The best thing to do is distract her with something else. If my daughter keeps it up over and over again, then I put her in her playpen for 5 minutes or so and she can play in there, she forgets eventually what she was doing. but I constantly explain why she can't touch something..and feel like I say "no" and "don't touch" a lot at this stage. She has hissy fits too...but again, there isn't anything you can do, they don't understand no. They understand they are doing something you don't want them to and is likely why they have fits and cry, but it doesn't sink in I guess for another little while. :) Good Luck!

Haily - posted on 05/21/2010

My 9 1/2 month old does the same thing he loves the blue ring on the front of our direct tv box and he loves to turn all the knobs and push the buttons on our surround sound but he really doesnt seem to care if you tell him no or smack his hand. Moving him away from it seems to do the trick because it makes him mad and gets a response from him and he will eventually learn that hey I dont have to get mad just play with something else.

Nicki - posted on 05/21/2010

My son does the same thing, i am constantly pulling him away from his fathers playstation because he loves turning it on. he thows fit when he is told no but if he continues i will smack his hand, you don't have to hurt him but the intent scares them because they know they did something that made mommy upset, I usually cup my hands around his and when I smack I clap my hands so it makes a loud noise, doesn't hurt him but it scares him and he doesn't go back to it.

Anuradha - posted on 05/21/2010

at this age this is what is expected...my 10 month old baby boy does the same all the time.....we need to give them their space but yes continue to say No and Yes so that she understands ur likes/dislikes and can be helpful later

Cindy - posted on 05/20/2010

My first son was the same way. From the second he started to crawl he was into EVERYTHING. Remove or baby proof whatever you can. However, when that is not possible, consistency is key. If she gets into something say NO (and maybe slap hand) and move her away. You may find that you have to tell her 10 times in a row not to do something, but she will get the idea.





My other three kids seemed easier, but I think it might be because I had baby proofed the house to such an extreme because of my first son's personality. The younger kids had nothing left to get into. LOL



Note: you mentioned the dog food. What worked for me was putting it up. I put it down during nap time, bedtime and meal time (Since my son was in high chair). After a few months this phase seemed to end. I accidentally left food and he did not touch it, so I started leaving it more and more.

Amanda - posted on 05/19/2010

Don't worry I have to do the same thing with my son. He is ten months and crawling everywhere and getting into everything, I tell him no and move him out of whatever he is getting into and if he does it again then I paddle his butt not hard then I tell him no again and then he starts crying. It is the only way she is going to learn that she can not get into certain things. She will learn just give it time and give her plenty of love.

Tina - posted on 05/19/2010

thank you guys for responding it is nice to know i am not alone!! it gets very tedious but i think its an age thing. Anika i hear what you are saying about being drawn to things not allowed to play in, she can have a whole floor full of toys and she will still play in dog food

Anika - posted on 05/19/2010

My son does the same thing. I think its just this age where they are getting independent (sort of) and very good at getting what they want. They seem to be drawn to things they're not allowed! If my son's about to go to something he shouldn't touch or doing something naughty I just tell him no in a really stern voice and pull him away, and keep repeating it. It's very tedious but eventually they'll learn! My son also throws a tantrum if I don't let him do something too.

Aura - posted on 05/19/2010

My daughter is similar. If we say no, she starts to cry. I had to keep telling her not to strangle the kittens, lol. When she constantly got into the cat food, I had finally had enough and just let her mess around with it. She did eat some, as babies will, but it's small and I did the same thing as a baby. She realized it wasn't yummy and went back to playing with it. Then I just clean it up when she gets bored and moves on. She also liked to take out all the DVDs she could reach. They were all over the floor! When she got bored I cleaned those up, too.



I don't know that, at this age, they will understand completely why we don't want them to do this stuff. I think we have to put up with their hissy fits for a while until they are old enough to understand when we tell them why. I'm still new to this myself, though, lol.