Oh jeez, I need help!

Kassy - posted on 03/22/2010 ( 47 moms have responded )

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My son Kaydon isn't sleeping through the night like the doctor says he should. I am trying the cry it out method, and it works ok at night, but when he wakes up at 2-3am, am I supposed to let him cry it out then, too? Or should I give him a bottle? He doesn't like his pacifier, he never uses it, and the only other thing that gets him to go back to sleep is if I pick him up... in which case he usually falls alseep by the 10th pat on the back. Does this sound familiar? Any suggestions?

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Melissa - posted on 03/25/2010

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Hi. I have an 8 month old who now sleeps through the night and like the other posts if he is teething (has 5 teeth now) or has a cold (which I have been dealing with for the last two weeks with 4-5 wakings a night) he's up but we had your same problem and at 5 months old I had to do something about it. I have never had to or wanted to let him"cry it out", it seems to work for some people but I find that it stress'es me out more and he feels that. Anyway, he was waking 2-3 times per night, I would then give him a bottle only to find he would only drink an ounce or two. If you find he is waking at the same time each night it's probably out of habit. I had the same problem and found that if I would pat his back in his crib (not pick him up) he would go back to sleep but my son is a side and tummy sleeper so you may have to see if that would work. I also have him on a routine (as others have posted) which makes all the difference. I try to have dinner closer to his bedtime so he is full (an hour or so before bed), he feeds himself at the table with us, and he let's me know when he is done (I have taught him a few sign language techniques). We then head upstairs for a 15 min. massage. I found that he doesn't sit still (he has been crawling for over a month now) so I have to put on a educational dvd (turn down or off the lights) and lay him on the bed, wrapped up in a towel w/paci (so I don't get peed on!) and then we can begin. He relaxes the entire time! He also takes a pacifier which you had mentioned your son doesn't so I know that can be hard. He uses his only to fall asleep and then I put a few around him in his crib so if he does wake he can put himself back to sleep. He also has a bath with me (every night by candlelight) after his massage and then we read or look at picture books, then bottle (as he has decided he doesn't want to breastfeed anymore :(. I also found that if the room is too hot I have to crack a window for about an hour and using a dim night light seems to help (my little guy was waking in the dark and just sobbing so I put a small night light behind his rocking chair). I have also had to stop rocking him to sleep as he was falling asleep in my arms and waking up at night just to need me to do it again. He also gets his bottle with the lights on, then after, I place him in the crib slightly awake so he can fall asleep on his own. Someone also gave us a great Celtic lullaby baby cd which I put on, while we do the bottle, and it has 17 songs on it so it's great and lengthy so he can put himself to sleep. The volume has to be really low but I think it has helped. In fact he slept all the way through until 9:45 am this morning! I couldn't believe it! I heard little sounds coming from behind his closed door, he was in his crib just playing with his stuffed animals at the end of the bed! Anyway, hope you can use any of these things that have worked for us. If you are a stay at home mommy, try and nap when he naps so you have the patience and space for his nighttime wakings. I know it is hard and you feel stressed when you both have lack of sleep but remember these times don't last forever, soon he will be off to school and eventually out of the house, so enjoy him while you can.....

p.s.
Keep the routine the same during the day for naps so he gets the hint that it is time to sleep. We do everything the same minus the bath and massage. My little guy naps 2-3 hours during the day! Some people have also found that running a humidifier through the night helps as well. Good luck!

Jessie - posted on 03/25/2010

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my son is 8 months old and just started to sleep more than 3 hours at a time. he wouldnt get up to nurse all the time he just woke up and cried. he has never been a good sleeper despite different tries at routine.now we have a good one and he still gets up to nurse 1 or 2 times a night which is fine by me. he goes to bed at 8:30 and we are usually up by 6 or 6:30 depending when we work. last night he slept 7 hrs without waking up and that is the all time record (maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel?!) I know I can't go to bed without a glass of water next to me and I sometimes get hungry so why should a little one be different?

Shalaina - posted on 03/23/2010

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Of course he should be fed if he is hungry but if he has enough food during the day he is most likely waking up out of habit. Especially since he falls asleep not long after you hold him, doesn't seem like he is too hungry to me. Oh and I never heard the definition of 'STTN' being 5-6 hours...... it is safe for them to go longer, technically up to 10-12 hours.

Janelle - posted on 03/22/2010

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i would find a new dr. there is absolutely no reason why you should not feed him if he wakes up hungry. STTN is a developmental milestone same as walking crawling and talking, some kids do not STTN until a year or two. oh and STTN by definition is 5-6hrs at a time.

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Arleen - posted on 04/03/2010

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My daughter doesn't always sleep all night either. When she does wake up I give her a bottle cuz i know if they wake up at night they are ususally hungry. Just recently she is sleeping all night for the most part. Shes been eatting more off the spoon and i try to fill her up with a good helping of meat and fruit and veggies before giving her some formula and putting her to bed. As for the crying I must be a lucky one because from day 1 she basically puts herself to sleep and now that shes a bigger she and her 2 year old sister talk to eachother til they fall asleep

Cherry - posted on 03/31/2010

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I just make sure mine is used to the same condition when he goes to sleep which is in a dark, cool room and quiet. Once he's used to this, I just leave him there at 10pm everynight and he'll fall asleep on his own. He sleep 10-12 hours. Sometimes, he wakes up at night, I hear him moving about n cooing in his cot...he'll fall back to sleep in half an hour. He'll learn to equate the dark, cool room and quiet to sleep. I used to hold his pacifier to his mouth and pat him to sleep in his cot when he was 1-2 mths old. I don't pick him up unless when he's teething or has a fever.
Does ur son drinks a lot when you feed him in the middle of the night. If he isn't then he's probably not hungry. He's probably just looking for you for comfort. My aunt taught me this. It might sound funny ;) I tried putting my worn shirt (clean of course) next to him. I find him clutching my shirt and sucking on it in the middle of the night. He slept through the night not waking even once.
When he's teething, even I pick him up, once he falls asleep I put him back in d cot. I thot to let him get used to his cot everytime he wakes up.
Just dont get stressed out over this, If he's already sleeping more than 4 hours at one time, its v good.

Liz - posted on 03/30/2010

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My lil man is 8 months and has thankfully got out of that habbit, my son was so bad he wouldnt sleep in his cot full stop! So what I did was put one of my pillows in the cot with him, I no they say it can cause cot death but i spoke 2 a midwife and she said once a baby is past 6 months there out of the danger area for cot death so I decided 2 give it ago, now lee has some bedtime cereal, a nice warm bottle and he ko's for the night.

Rebekah - posted on 03/30/2010

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My son has never been a good sleeper. When he was born he didn't sleep more than 12 - 14 hours a day. (And NEVER longer than two hours) we are finally getting a routine, but he still wakes up at least once a night and has to eat. He will not sleep until he does. I say let him fuss for a couple minutes if he does not fall back asleep than go get him. Plus if he just wants picked up and then goes to sleep try using things like a noise machine or CD. They really helped my son. Also there is a vibrating crib mattress that is about $150. You can turn it on for 15 minute increments which may help eliminate you actually having to pick him up. Just lay him back down and turn it on, than leave the room. I know if my son sees anyone he won't go back to sleep so I have to leave the room and let him cry for a couple minutes. Now he normally doesn't cry for more than a couple minutes.

Amy - posted on 03/29/2010

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my son's nearly 9 months and he sleeps 7-7 or sometimes a bit longer, he's been like that since he was about 5 months. i definately agree that if they dont have enough naps during the day they won't sleep as well at night, i just let him sleep whenever he's tired and it seems to have worked for us, we are very lucky :) before he started sleeping through the night i must admit i used 2 put him in our bed just so i could sleep, which worked :) and luckily he didn't do it too often. if your little man is hungry then definately feed him, and maybe try giving him his dinner a little later in the evening, if he's on solids :) good luck, and dont worry, like every1 else says, every baby is different

Michelle - posted on 03/28/2010

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Doctors/nursing opinions vary as much as infant/toddler sleeping habits do...he just wants comforting.. your already doing whats working so why not pat him off to sleep and put him back down when he's settled.. very rare that babies sleep all through the night "Every Night" at any development level.

Tammy - posted on 03/28/2010

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My son sometimes sleeps through the night and sometimes wakes up, almost every night he will wake up crying and I usually leave him and he will go back to sleep but if he cries for more than 10 or 15 min or screams I will get him to feed then he goes back to bed and will again sometimes start to cry when put back to bed but I let him cry it out and he will go back to sleep.

Heather - posted on 03/28/2010

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Personally I think the crying it out method is horrble. My daughter wouldn't sleep in her crib the whole night until about 2 months ago. She will be 9 months on the 4th. I don't think letting them sleep with you is a good idea either. They need to get used to their beds. Hayden usually will wake up and I will pick her up walk around the room and then put her back. It seems to work. I know how you feel though. My ped said the same thing. I couldn't sit and listen to her cry. It was torture!! I would try getting into a routine. That has helped us so much. You are Kaydon's mommy. Do what you feel is right. Good luck..

Wajiha - posted on 03/28/2010

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My daughter sleeps during the nite, getting up 1-2 times during the nite in which i give her a bottle of milk or feed her myself.

Stacey - posted on 03/28/2010

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To be fair I never had this problem but i will say what i can in hope it will help.
I would say not to pick him up as he would most likely think its play time. when is he given his last feed as i have tried diffferent and we found not feeding my daughter as a comfort to help her go to sleep means she activates her own hormones and sleeps all by her self i just have to place her in her cot. must admit its not for everyone.
Does he sleep during the day?
In my experience our daughter wont sleep if she has not napped durin the day.
Perhaps your son may be a baby that does not like to sleep at night but you can encourage it by making things light in the day and dark at night this helped us.
propping the head up or warming his cot with a warm water bottle and remove it may help.
I hope any of this helps we tried all these at one point by by 2 months we had it down to a t and now anndora sleeps 7-7 which is good with 2 nap times durin the day.
good luck and dont fret dont forget to nap yourself else you will get run down.

Christy - posted on 03/27/2010

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if he is eating baby food feed him before a bottle that works for me before i nurse

Natasha - posted on 03/27/2010

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I must be one of the lucky ones who's son sleeps thru from 7pm till 6.30am. He started waking up in the night after starting solids so I changed his nite solids so that he has them an hour before his night bottle and he started sleeping thru the night again. My best friend had the same problem with both her boys but she got in the bad habit of feeding them in the night and now they expect someone to be close to them in order for them to go to sleep and the boys are now 2 and 4yrs old. They still wake up between 2 to 3 times as they just can't go back to sleep without someone right there.

I hope that is helpful to you

Meghan - posted on 03/26/2010

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Every baby is different, but the best advice I can give you is have a routine! My son has been sleeping 8-12 hrs. through the night since he was about 4 months old. If he wakes up it's usually because he lost his binky or his teeth hurt. I just give him his binky and he falls right back asleep. But, I have him on a routine. 6:30-solids 7:30-6oz. bottle 7:45- bath/massage 8:00-story 8:15- I lay him in his crib. He always falls asleep within 5 minutes b/c he knows that it is bed time. Make sure his belly is full also and lots of kisses before bed:)

Amber - posted on 03/26/2010

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You could try to feed him a few more ounces before bed time. My son had same problem but then we up 5 oz to now 7.5 oz he sleeps through the whole night! BUt I agree with Kate NEVER put cereal in baby bottle! Other ideas night light, and a little fan for background noise.

Kate - posted on 03/26/2010

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Do not ever put rice cereal in a baby's bottle. It could cause choking. Babies also don't have the enzyme to digest grains until 8 - 9 months of age, and the enzymes aren't mature until 26 months of age. Grains in general are a bad idea for babies. Yes, they'll probably sleep longer, but only because it's so hard to digest.

Kelly - posted on 03/26/2010

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in his bottle before bed put alittle extra rice cereal in it it helps there belly stay fuller longer i did this with my first and now with my son it works great

Jenelle - posted on 03/26/2010

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My daughter sometimes sleeps through the night. But when she wakes in the middle of the night I give her a bottle. I dont use the cry it out method, but i let her sleep in bed with us. It is comforting to her and she sleeps better that way. I know it isnt recommended by doctors, but if done safely, I believe it is a good choice. Don't worry about him not sleeping through the night yet, all babies are different and his time will come.

Kate - posted on 03/26/2010

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If he wakes, then feed him if he's hungry. My son is the same age and is waking every 2 hours still. We co-sleep now. My daughter was not like this, she woke maybe once per night and not every night at this age. But she STILL wakes some nights and she's over 2 years old now. STTN does not mean a full 10 - 12 hours every single night. That will happen when your baby is 18 years old and no longer lives at home. In the mean time, thank your lucky stars your baby only wakes ONCE and just go to him. Crying it out is mean. And believe me, with a baby who has woken 4 - 8 times per night for most of his life, and still does, I know what it is to be tired and wish they slept. But they are only little for a short time, and they need you. If patting him gently back to sleep works, then fine. But trust me...most babies (the VAST majority), do NOT sleep through at this age. And they shouldn't, in many cases.

Nicole - posted on 03/26/2010

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There should be no reason why an 8 month old baby won't sleep through the night. It is very difficult getting to that point, but with patience and being consistent, you can too get some sleep at night. My son Cayden has been sleeping through the night since 3 months.

I do not believe in the "cry it out method", although I do let my son cry for up to 5 minutes before getting up to get him to see if he will go back to sleep by him self. When he was younger, and woke up at 2-3, I would give him a bottle to make him go back to sleep, but this is only because he was used to getting fed around that time. The next week, if he woke up at 2, I would wait 15 minutes before giving him the bottle. I would tell myself, " I am not giving him the bottle until 2:15."
Each week, I would stretch this time frame by 15 minutes. He learned to adjust to the time.
Yes, it was hard at first because he might wake up at 2 when you told yourself you wouldn't give him the bottle until 3, but you have to be consistant for it to work. You might be up an hour with him, patting him, rocking him, singing to him, whatever you can do to make it still seem like it's bed time. (make sure all the lights are off too)

It is hard at first, and I didn't get any sleep it seemed like for 2 months, but I'm happy now, because he sleeps from 7-6am now!
(were still trying to get him to work up to 7am, but for now, I'm happy. I can't force him to stay asleep for more than 10 hours. especially if he takes a couple naps at night)

HOPE THIS HELPS

Danielle - posted on 03/26/2010

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If you give him a bottle give him a bottle of water don't say anything and don't pick him up. Our pedi said nutritionally at this age there's no need for them to wake up. After 4 days of getting water my LO started sleeping 7-6am. It's amazing to sleep again.

Amber - posted on 03/26/2010

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These are my thoughts on why babies wake up, I might be wrong, but then again I may be right. I think that babies just want their moms or dads in the middle of the night, I mean think about it, when they cry during the day you go and see what they need, why should night time be any different? I enjoy my son and if he wakes up at night to have a bottle that is just one or two more minutes that I get to see his sweet face and to give him my love, just a kiss. I embrace chaos because that is what life is. Chaos, trust me I tried for 12 years to get this little guy so I will cherish every moment that I get with him even if it is in the middle of the night. They are only babies for a short time.
Also, I did talk to my doctor about him not sleeping and she told me not to worry because every child is different and her youngest did not sleep through the night till she was 2, no worries.

Ashley - posted on 03/25/2010

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My son wasn't sleeping through the night a few months ago and my friend suggested that my husband get up with him and have him help him through "crying it out". So, for five nights he got up with our son instead of me (each night it was a little shorter period) and when R realized that he wasn't going to be getting any milk he began sleeping through the night. So, for the last few months he has been. I don't know if this will work for you but it did for us like a dream. Those five nights were hard on me though. I wanted to go to my husband and son because I knew that I could sooth him. But to make it work, you have to stay away.

Jessica - posted on 03/25/2010

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My daughter doesn't really sleep through the night either she wakes 1 to 2 times, normally I change her and give her a bottle.. A lot of times she just won't go to sleep unless it's on me.. Depending on how long she has been awake sometimes I just bring her into bed with me. I know you really aren't supposed to do that but if it works I say whatever.

Suzi - posted on 03/25/2010

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I only do the crying when my lil one first goes to bed. (well she only cried for the first three nights) I refuse to do it in the middle of the night because like so many others have said they could be teething, or thirsty (I often need a drink of water in the night) or too hot or cold. so many things can wake anyone up in the night and often its hard to get back to sleep. It is unfair of the Dr to say he SHOULD be sleeping through the night because every one is different. Yes, maybe he is at that stage when he CAN sleep through the night but you can't force them. My little one often wakes up and puts herself back to sleep, I just wait 5 mins or listen to see if she is crying or just chatting to herself. I will always go to her if she is upset so she doesn't feel like she is abandoned in the dark, this can make them scared I think. They'll work it out eventually. My Niece didn't sleep through till she was 18 months. I know its hard and exhausting. My 8 month old still wakes up between 1 to 3 times a night...but she has so many teeth coming through and has had a bad cold. Hang in there

Vicki - posted on 03/25/2010

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I'm not a big fan of the "cry it out method". I tried it for a week with my older daughter and it broke my heart to hear her cry like that...and it simply didn't seem to work for her. Recently I've been trying to get my 8 month old to sleep better and am trying some methods described in the "No-cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantly. She talks some about sleep in general and then offers a lot of suggestions that you can try, based on your situation, to get your little one to sleep better. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 03/25/2010

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My 8mth old does not sleep through - he did between 3 and 5mths of age, and then in went down the drain. I don't believe in the cry it out method my self - but you do whatever you are comfortable with. I do no cry methods, and I co sleep with my bub from about 2am onwards.. I still feed him a couple of times a night. I figure once he hits 12mths old that I will start night weaning and working on him sleeping through then.

Monika - posted on 03/25/2010

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My daughter Elise is almost 8 months and started to wake up during the night again, I told the doctor and he said she is a normal teething growing baby. She does use a pacifier sometimes and she wakes up too around 2-3 or 5-6 am. When Elise wakes up I feed her and then my fiance goes to sleep on the couch and Elise falls asleep in bed with me, I usually move her to her crib after.

I don't know are they suppose to sleep threw the night? I doubt all babies do, I keep being told you don't sleep much the first year and well that would make sense since Elise wakes up a lot at night.

I am lucky I am home for the first year, I just roll with it. Elise has never fallen asleep by herself in her crib lol.. She much prefers to be rocked or snuggled with to sleep. Maybe I have created a monster, but right now it doesn't bother me. Plus my fiance started snoring over the winter months so i would much prefer to sleep with Elise while he sleeps on the couch.. =P

Amanda - posted on 03/25/2010

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My son goes down at 7.30pm wakes betwn 11pm-1am for a feed and then sleeps through till 4-6am. I have in the past always breastfed him as I think they are thirsty/hungry if they wake but the past couple of weeks I'm trying not too. Have just been cuddling him and settling him again, it's tough but luckily I have good work arrangements. I've tried crying it out at the early morning wakeup but as we get up at 6am it just doesn't work for us to be kept awake from 4am. My first child never slept through the night until she was 6 - dont want to go there again!!! lol The article above has really interesting facts and seems to pretty much too sum it up, before you know it he'll sleep through and you'll feel like a new woman!

Allison - posted on 03/25/2010

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My twin girls are almost 9 months old and have been sleeping through the night for awhile now. I read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and it helped me so much. Falling asleep is a learned behavior and sometimes a baby will wake up and not know how to get to sleep on their own. It's important they learn how to get back to sleep or they can have problems even as adults. We put them to bed at 7pm and we usually wake them up at 11pm to give them a bottle, only because they don't take in much breastmilk or formula during the day, and they get up in the morning between 7 and 8pm. That book has been a lifesaver as with having twins it was crucial for all of us to get sleep.

Lauren - posted on 03/25/2010

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It's perfectly normal for your son to be waking up throughout the night. Being able to sleep the entire night is a milestone, just like crawling or walking. It takes time, and the only thing that will make it happen is his brain maturing. Until then, just comfort him and help him get the best sleep he can. The reason he is crying is because he's trying to communicate with you, and letting him cry it out breaks that trust he has in you. Being a responsive parent is important during the day, but it doesn't stop there. It's important to be a loving parent at night, too.

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every baby is different. just because someone tells you he should sleep through the night, doesn't mean he will. some babies do need to wake up to eat and/or be comforted. if it works to pick him up and pat him back to sleep then do it. he'll sleep all the way through the night when he's ready to.

Terah - posted on 03/24/2010

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Babies are extremly smart and learn routines. You have set up a routine that he is used to. He knows if he cries mommy will come, pat me on the back and put me back to sleep. My suggestion if you want to sleep is to let him cry if he wakes up in the middle of the night. At most I would let him cry for 5-10 minutes. Letting him cry will not harm him in anyway. If he cries beyond that then pick him up make sure he is ok. Before you try this make sure you feed him enough food throughout the day, and have a solid bedtime routine. I know it is hard to let them cry but it works. My 8 month old sleeps from 8 pm to 6:30-7:20 am every night since he was about two months. This is just a suggestion every baby is different.

Carrol - posted on 03/24/2010

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My son slept 5-6 hours straight at night from the time he was born(unless during this time he was going through a growing spurt he would wake up like 5 times a night), then when he was 5 months old when he started to get his teeth he started waking up more, now he wakes up around 5am i feed him and he goes back to sleep til8 or 9, ive heard if your baby is waking up at night to eat often it could be that their not hungry, they just look forward to eating, try givng water at night when they wake up, and eventually its suppose to stop them from waking up during the night to eat, if the baby is on solids through the day usually theres no reason to eat through the night, i know growing spurts happen and usualy you know but other than thosse days if he doesnt go back to sleep try a bit of water

Heather - posted on 03/24/2010

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my son sleeps 10 to 12 at night except for when his teeth are hurting, then hes constantly up

Hollie - posted on 03/24/2010

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My baby girl was sleeping anywhere from 8-10 hours most nights at about 3 or 4 months...and then she started teething...she got her first tooth the day before she was 6 months old and now she has 5 at almost 8 months old. I'm blaming it on the teething but i could be wrong. I received an email just the other day saying that if your baby wakes up in the middle of the night to just give water if they are already on solids. i haven't tried that yet...Kaylee doesn't get up every night so that's why i'm thinking it's her teeth hurting her

Samantha - posted on 03/24/2010

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My baby doesn't sleep through the night and she is 81/2 months old. I give her a bottle if she is hungry.

Helen - posted on 03/23/2010

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a lot of babies dont sleep through at 8 months old i wouldn't stress too much and of course you can give him a bottle when he wakes up he most probably wakes up because he is hungry

Janelle - posted on 03/23/2010

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yes, it is safe for a baby to sleep 10-12 hrs at a time, meaning you don't have to wake them up. but by definition, STTN is 5-6hrs at a time. how many adults do you know that sleep 10-12 hrs straight, without waking at all for anything? OP i recommend www.askdrsears.com section on sleep too for more info.

Shalaina - posted on 03/22/2010

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Do you have a routine? As soon as we started our bedtime routine he started sleeping all night. Also, if he wakes up at night we give him the bink and he is back to sleep right away. IF they get enough food during the day they do not need a feeding during the night at this age.

Kiffany - posted on 03/22/2010

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i have an 8 month old who dont sleep through the night and my other 2 children didnt till they were around a year. but if he is teething they do tend to not sleep well.

Lesley - posted on 03/22/2010

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My son is the same way...is your son teething? Mine is so I figure that's why,, but also by then he has already slept 5-6 hours because I put him to bed at 9pm. I just make sure he is warm or cool enough depending on the weather, that his belly is full and his humidifier is on because he gets congested at night right now...The only bottle I offer is one full of water...I know that I need a drink at night sometimes, why would my son be any different. When all else fails I bring him into my bed, which I know some people say not to do, but it works for me. The cry it out method at 3 am does work, but I prefer to sleep at that time which is why I bring my son into bed on occasion.

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