sleeping in our bed

Naomi - posted on 02/17/2010 ( 36 moms have responded )

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hi my baby summer has never slept through the night at the moment she will only settle if she is on me in our bed. i am terrified of rolling on her of hurting her and cant sleep if she is with us. me and my partner both have to go to work and need to be up at half 5 every day we are both exhausted is anyone else having simalar problems or can suggest anything it would be nice to hear from you . thank you naomi

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Hannah - posted on 03/14/2010

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My son has never slept in his crib and he is 8 months now, and I LOVE every second of it!! He sleeps on my side and I leave my breast out for him to nurse! He doesn't even open his eyes in the middle of the night to nurse and we all get to sleep through the night!! He is happy and warm and I feel great just knowing he's there safe in my arms! And Do u roll of the bed every night? NO, because you know it's there! Babies just want to be close to their mothers and they should be! I would not be able to sleep if he was in his room by himself, how sad!

Kelly - posted on 03/10/2010

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Michelle goes to sleep in her crib but within an hour of me going to bed (her crib is in our room), she wakes and it is off to bed with us. I tried for weeks getting up with her, nursing her, putting her back in her crib...every 2-3 hours and finally succumbed to bringing her to bed. I was nervous about rolling over her in the beginning and used a snuggle nest in the beginning, but now that she is bigger and stronger, she sleeps right up against me. She loves it, I love it, we all sleep the best when she is in our bed. Here is a link to Dr. Sears website. He has some good safe co-sleeping guidelines.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070600...

Christie - posted on 03/10/2010

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I agree with Meredith.. even try cuddling her while slow dancing to music, once she's asleep.. try and put her in her bed.. if she cries, try moving the dummy lightly in her mouth.. she will concentrate more on sucking on her dummy and hopefully fall asleep.

after 39 hours of labour and no sleep at all even after my daughter was born... when she was 2 days old I came home and whilst feeding her I fell asleep.. my mother woke and found my daughter curled up and her head under my side.. she wasnt breathing, turning blue and going cold.. thankfully i gave her cpr and got her back.. after getting her to the hospital, the doctors say it could of been 1 of many things.. me rolling on her while she was in bed with me due to sleep exhaustion... having mecconium stuck in her throat (Which I heard move during cpr) and being badly jaundice (Which i didnt find out until we got back to the hospital) she didnt have the energy to cough it up.. or being underweigh as they miscalculated her discharge weight.

Just be careful with bubby in your bed.. I'd never wish what happened with my miracle on anyone else.. it's the worst feeling ever, my heart stopped when I seen her and the poor girl was stuck on an apnea monitor for 3 months!

Good luck!

Amanda - posted on 03/09/2010

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Gosh its so hard isn't it. I think they suffer from separation anxiety at this age, my daughter did until she was quite old. With our son I let him sleep with us if we are tired and every second night my partner sleeps in the spare bed (which means we all sleep well!). They say you shouldn't do it but it works for us and you've got to do what is right for you. Good Luck

Caprice - posted on 03/06/2010

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its best to have your babys own room. because when you are in the same room they can see you an they will get more upset. they will want you to pick them up.
put them in their cot in their own room an firmly say its bedtime pat them and walk away.
they will get upset but leave them for 5 mins go back to them an say again its bedtime and walk away . repeat this but each time add an extra 5 mins each time you go back.
if they stop crying for a little bit start the time again.
it will be hard but thats the best way
they should be used to it in about a week

Angela - posted on 03/05/2010

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I'm really liking the encourgement from the comments that it's okay to have my LO sleep with my husband and me. It helps to have a king size bed so she moves and we can too without touching. I don't like to have her cry at night, because my LO shared a bedroom with sister (3) and I don't want to punish her with a crying baby. What are susgestions on getting them to share a room with peacefullness?

Angela - posted on 02/24/2010

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my only suggestion is to start with the crib in your room and try putting your baby to bed around the same time every night. establish a routine if you don't already have one: bath, story, song, whatever (believe me, each day is different so don't be upset if your routine varies a bit!) you may want to just start your baby playing in her crib to get used to it if she isn't already. i do wish you the best of luck. it's gonna take a bit of hard work. i'm a mom of five and my first 4 were co-sleepers, 2 at a time in bed w/ me and hubby so my last one is a crib-only sleeper! there are nights when she is fussy and she sleeps on me a little while but she goes back into her bed as soon as possible. again, best wishes and hope you have much success getting her in her own bed and quality sleep again!

LaKesha - posted on 02/24/2010

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My son Dakari will sleep thru the night in my bed. When I put him in the crib he fusses soon as I take him out and put him back on my bed he goes right back to sleep. Babies are smart they know whats going on.

Alisha - posted on 02/23/2010

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Im having similar issues. My LO slept in her crib for 6 weeks then started teething and now wont sleep without me. I just set up our crib as a daybed and put it against our bed so she will get used to sleeping in her own bed again. I plan to slowly move it into her room once I know she is comfy in her own bed. I hope it works, I got the idea from Dr. Sears because my LO is too big for a cosleeper and my husband wants to return to our bed. After 7 mos I feel like this is a reasonable request.

Tori - posted on 02/23/2010

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Make sure you establish nap times for her during the day in her own crib. She will begin to realize that this is where she goes when she needs to sleep. It worked with my little one (born July 30/09). And believe me, it was hard at first because I LOVE sleeping with her. But it's not the best situation for anyone if they are always wanting to sleep with you. My son (who's 6 now) didnt stop sleeping with us until he was about 2 1/2. It was hard to break the habit, but had to be done :) Good Luck!

Kirsty-Lee - posted on 02/22/2010

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WOW - so many comments, i tried to read them all. They all have great advice. The best piece of advice i can tell you is that take all of the comments and ideas ppl have suggested pick thru and decide on the ones you feel you like and think will work for you and then start trying them. So many ppl told me that my son should be in his own room by now and should sleep thr etc etc. But at the end of the day they are only babies once - love your daughter and nuture he if she needs it. I'm sure it will all work itself out as shes gets older. Lets face it shes not going to sleep with you forever! My son is 7months old - on and off he sleeps in his cot and with us. Sometimes he goes down without a fight and other nights are a struggle. I think we all aim for perfection too much when really we should just be listening to our babies needs and wants.

Good luck Naomi x

Angela_M_X - posted on 02/21/2010

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My son is 7months old he sleeps right through the night also has 2 teeth coming through if he wakes up at 8.00 I put him into my bed n he sleeps until quarter to 11/12.00 he is such a great sleeper:DD I lie on my side put 1 arm under him so I can cuddle him & I know he is safe.He won't be a bby for ever so I'm making the most of it:D

Gia - posted on 02/21/2010

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I was having the same problem with my son.. i loved him being right next to me but felt like i never got a good nights sleep for fear of rolling on him or him rolling out of bed.... we started puting him in his own crib in his room about a week ago now.. the first few nights were hard. he would scream and cry.. i would wait 10-15 minutes go back in and lay him down and walk away.. after the 2nd time of walking in the room he would go to sleep.. the last 2 night though he didn't even cry just laid down and went to sleep... he gets a bath before bed with lavender soap and a massage with lavender lotion.. it really calms him. hope this helps!

Kathi - posted on 02/21/2010

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Put the baby in her crib! As long as you know she's safe in her crib its okay to let her cry. Its going to be harder for the parent more than the child! She will learn faster than you think too. As a parent you have to be okay with telling your children NO sometimes and this is one of those times. You still love her, that will not change, but its better for both of you in the end and I'm sure your partner will enjoy having one on one time with you again.

Rebeeca - posted on 02/21/2010

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First of all, you need to do what is right for you and your family. People will give you tons of advice, but it may not work for you. My daughter is 7 mths, she slept great for the first 3 mths, and then almost over night it changed. I was so exhausted that I started bringing her in bed with me, now she will not sleep anywhere else. I have tried it all, white noise, music, lights, toys, hot water bottles, putting my shirt in her crib, read many books, you name it. I refuse, however, to let her cry-it-out, it only teaches babies that you are not there. Think of how you feel when you are sad, lonely and scared, noe imagen being a baby that does not truly understand what is going on. My little girl just wants the comfort of her mommy. Eventually they will sleep on their own, I do recommend the "No Cry Sleep Solution" and "The Baby Whisper." Good luck, and remember you will someday be looking back at this saying remember when!

Erin - posted on 02/20/2010

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When i first brought my baby home, i slept with him in my bed, all i would do is place heaps of pillows down one side and i'd sleep on the open side, then as he got a bit older i put in a bouncer and had that next to the bed, and now he sleeps in his own cot through the night, it's just setting up a routine.

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Apart from using a sedative to help baby sleep (which is highly unadvisable) my theory is simple..... No one likes to sleep on their own.... I mean you have a nice ....warm ...heart beating Hubby to sleep next too and your bubba just wants the same. Some children are born independent *good for them* and then their are the children who long for human touch....affection....and the safety in knowing you are right their with them in life for everything *I have three of these ones who I proudly call SOOKIE LALA'S*
So Noams dont stress about it sleeping with her and buy a Safe T Sleep Wrap that way they are SIDS approved and your baby can sleep beside you until the tender age of three (LMAO) without you feeling like they are going to suffocate. Safe T Wraps are a little pricey about AU$96 but whats the price of sound of mind. Just google the product have a look...read all the testimonials and strict health guidelines this particular product had to go through and buy yourself one :)
Hope this helps you and sweet dreams to you and bubba

Nicole - posted on 02/20/2010

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It's all about routine. For example, babies don't need regular baths, but I bathe my daughter in the lavendar bubble bath nightly and lotion her down with the matching lotion afterward and she sleeps for about 7-10 hours. I know that's not the norm with a majority of babies, but you will find out what works for you and your child. I never slept with Kiley because doing so greatly increases their risk of SIDS and not to mention I move around a lot in my sleep. I had her in a bassinet beside the bed until 5 months. It'll take time, but try different things as far as a routine goes and stick with it once you do. Good luck!

Christina - posted on 02/20/2010

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My son has been sleeping in our bed from the day we brought him home. He will not sleep any where else. The doctors are always telling us that he needs to sleep in his crib and that we need to let him cry it out, but I cant bring myself to do it! He spends most of the night nestled in my arms. I do not sleep well at night either because I am always making sure that I have not moved with him on me. I don't know if there is a way to transition him to his crib.

Victoria - posted on 02/20/2010

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I had problems with Gabriel sleeping at first. I took our midwifes advice let him cry for just five to ten mins go back in put dummy in and go out again for another ten minutes carry on until he eventually falls asleep and if he wakes in the night do the same. It took three nights and it was heartbreaking and exhausting but on the third night when he slept fom 7pm til 6am and he seemed so much more rested it was all worth it. I don't think that this is too harsh a method altough ten mins can feel like two hours at first! But Gabriel sleeps through for around eleven hours in his own cot 6 nights out of seven and the nights he wakes up because of his teeth or maybe a cold dummy back in and a head stroke is all he needs to get him back to sleep. He also is happier and more independent in the day. Hope this helps x

Hayley - posted on 02/20/2010

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hey you havent said how old your little one is, my daughter has slept on my chest since the day she was born, i breastfed her for 6 weeks, now i put her in her cot for bedtime and she sleeps till roughly 3am and everynight she wakes up and wont settle back, the only way to get her back to sleep is to take her in with me, shes 7 months old, usually my husband goes to spare room or sofa but on occasion he has stayed, im aware the whole time that shes there so cant really get a decent sleep but some sleep in my case is better than none! when i put Nyree to bed though she wont fall asleep unless iv giving her her bottle whilst she is in her cot, she goes down anywhere from 8-9 and until 3ish i sleep sound, have taking going to bed around the same time as her again so as i can get some rest, not ideal but it works for the moment. its good to know im not the only mother trying to function on little sleep

Santana - posted on 02/20/2010

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my daughter is 7 months old. she used to have the same issue have you tried to give her cereal at night and place her in her crib. if she cries a little it will be ok if it becomes irritating to you try distracting her with music and if all else fails just try it each night. try waiting longer each night when she cries before you pick her up start at like ten minutes than fifteen she will eventually think that you aren't going to come and cater to her crying. she only sleeps in your bed because she feels safe and warm but if you want that time with your partner and if you want to get some sleep try weening her to her own its hard i know it took me a month and a half to do it but i was being way to drained not sleeping at night than getting up for work as well. the sooner you try the sooner she'll try, other than that have fun and good luck.

Sarah - posted on 02/19/2010

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My daughter is 7 months old and she has been sleeping with us since she was 4 months. It isn't Ideal, however, they are only little for so long and I look at it as more quality time with your baby. I met another mother that did co-sleeping and she told me that some say it reduces SIDS. I don't have anything to back it up, but she was the first mom I met that didn't scold me for having my daughter sleep with us. It is funny, a lot of other parents frown upon it. Do what is right for you and your baby.

I put up a bed rail just as an extra precaution.

Brittany - posted on 02/19/2010

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I just started putting my son in his crib and I let him cry for 5 minutes and I go in and tell him he's ok, calm him and walk back out. After the 3rd night he cried for maybe 3 minutes and then go to sleep, now he goes to sleep fine. As for co-sleeping I thinks it's a bad idea... My dad was out of town a lot so my mom would let me sleep with her and I wouldn't sleep in my own room until I was 12! I would wait for my parents to go to sleep and then I would sneak in their room and sleep at the foot of their bed. My neices are 2 and 3 and come into their parents room and they get no sleep... but to each their own :) Good Luck!!

Gina - posted on 02/19/2010

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Break this habit now! :] unless you dont mind your child sleeping with you.
When my daughter, Parker turned 3 months I started putting her to bed in her own room in her own bed. Which is great. Every once in a while she will wake up and be up and ready to play but thats not to often.

My advice would try getting a bassinet or something for your baby to sleep in next to you after she falls asleep..then gradually move to a seperate room. GOOD LUCK

Johanna - posted on 02/19/2010

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My husband and I have our daughter co-sleep with us, although I must admitt it is probably more for my benefit than it is for hers. I love cuddling with her! But, when I first started letting her sleep with us, I was very worried I would roll over on her, or a pillow would fall on her face; anything. So, I started laying her sideways in next to me. I would have her lay with her feet on my belly so I would feel her move. This way, if I did happen to roll over, I'd only lay on her legs. I'm honestly not worried about rolling over on her anymore. I have got so used to sleeping lightly, that any movement at all from her and I wake up, and I always wake up in the same position I went to sleep in. We are starting to phase her out of sleeping with us. What has worked well so far is placing her bed next to ours, and after she falls asleep we lay her in her bed. Because I breastfeed still (after 7 1/2 months, whoo hoo!), this is very convenient because I just roll over, feed her, and lay her back down.

Sierra - posted on 02/19/2010

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Well my daughter started off not liking her crib whatsoever and my sister said.. just let her cry for 2 hours one night and it won't happen again. Well of course our daughter didn't cry for two hours... she fell asleep after about 30 but it never did happen again. she loves her crib now. I told my friend to do the same thing and now her little boy even takes naps without throwing fits. A little crying doesn't hurt. I still respond very quickly if it is a serious cry or heck.. a cry in general. She now hates to sleep in our bed and prefers the coziness of her crib.

Jenelle - posted on 02/19/2010

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I agree with Kristen. Cosleeping can be beneficial to mother and baby when done correctly. My daughter is 7 months and some nights she sleeps in her crib and usually wakes once for a feeding. Some nights, if she is still awake when I am ready for bed, I put her in bed with me. She will touch my face or shoulder for about 5 minutes and then falls asleep. I love it because there is no crying and she sleeps throught the night in my bed. For me, I love being able to cuddle with her and waking up to her playing with my face. I totally understand the fear of hurting your baby. But as another mother said, if you research co-sleeping, it can actually REDUCE the risk of SIDS. You should do whatever works for you. I know I love a full nights sleep, so when my baby wants to sleep with me, I have no problem letting her. She wont be a baby for long, and wont always need me as much as she does now.

Kristen - posted on 02/19/2010

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I also do not believe in letting your child cry it out. Dr. Sears is a great supporter of parents who want to co-sleep. The important thing is to find what works for you and your baby. My son is 7 1/2 months old and has hated his crib from the get go, this, he has been a co-sleeper the entire time. It it what works for us. My husband and I both work and must sleep and this allows that for us. Also, Kristopher sleeps 10 hours straight when he is with us. My friends that don't co-sleep not only have to let their babies cry after they put them down but also listen to them cry in the middle of the night. Granted, some of their babies adjusted to the crib well. You and your hubby just need to be comfortable with your choice, so that you can a) not let anyone get to you or b/ be able to defend yourself. AS for the people that say co-sleeping is SOOO dangerous, they should research dangerous crib sleeping can be. If you take how many babies die of SIDS in their crib, die spontaneously in their crib and die due to crib malfunctions, it far exceeds the number of babies that die in their parents bed . Also, unless it includes smothering or getting rolled over on, most babies that die of SIDS in their parents bed would have died of SIDS in their crib. It has been proven that babies that sleep near their mothers will actually breathe in sync with them b/c of womb relations. I say do what works and research both. Also, I found it interesting that even Dr. Ferber, the father of the cry it out method, revises most of his opinions in his newest addition including CO-SLEEPING! I found this very comforting. GOOD LUCK!

Nicola - posted on 02/19/2010

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My little guy sometimes co-sleeps with us (by chioce) and I have been trying to encourage more sleep in his own crib, one tip that REALLY helped.....take a pyjama top that you have been wearing in bed, tie it a knot/make it safe and pop it into Summer's cot near her head. You'll need to replace it frequently though as I think the scent of mummy fades after a night or so. For my son, I think it helped to smell me when he started to stir, even though I wasn't actually there and he self-soothed back to sleep 3 times on his own - which he'd never done before! If baby does sleep with you in bed, one way to keep her safe (if she's not an older/more wriggly baby) is to sleep on your side cradling her in the crook of your arm, bring your legs up (like in the foetal position). This way, you won't roll on her and your legs stop her from slipping down too far under ther covers. But the big key is gettign a good nightly routine, our one is: dinner, bath, quick massage with lotion, get dressed for bed, breasfeed in the dark and then into his cot - my son goes down without any trouble after this ritual and usually sleeps for a good while before waking up for more milk. HTH!

Kathi - posted on 02/18/2010

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look here i had that some problem wit my second son .. this what i did i let him fall alseep on my bed then like 1 hour later i put him his bed .. and he cry 1 time dont pick her wait and see if she go back to sleep by her self first if she start to cry for more then 20 mins then tryn again but do it everynight.. cause its hard .. to hear yo baby cry but yall need to tryn something new.. if it dont work .. let me know and i will tell yuo something esle oaky..

Elizabeth - posted on 02/18/2010

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How old is she first of all. But my son is now 6months and he sleeps in his crib pretty well. Its a learned behavior to sleep on their own, and if you keep letting her sleep with you she wont break out of it. Sometimes my son will wake up and cry for a few minutes, and I check on him to make sure he is ok but thats all. If he cries for a couple minutes its ok, he just falls back to sleep. I realized that when I start picking him up and letting him sleep with me at those times he wakes up, he remembers and starts doing it every night until I leave him and let him fall asleep on his own. Also, try putting her down at a consistent time every night as well and she will learn that it is sleep alone time. He is in bed by 8:30-8:45 and he actually doesnt fuss anymore because his body has learned that it is sleep time!

Stephanie - posted on 02/18/2010

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I'm with Kristi and Kayana. I DO NOT believe in the crying it out method. there is actually significant research that says that mothers that let their babies cry actually get desensitized to the sound of it and respond less often when its urgent. Dex sleeps on and off with us and I dont think its dangerous. As a mother you know not to roll on the baby :) All i can say is take it one night at a time....try to put her in her crib at bedtime and keep trying to put her there throughout the night but if she has to come to bed with you so be it....try to stay positive!!

Kay - posted on 02/18/2010

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i know how you feel i have the same prob. i am slowly trying to get her use to her crib, i have tried putting her to sleep first when she is in deep sleep i move her to her crib, she does not sleep through the night in her crib thou, so when she gets up, i give her a bottle or rock her to sleep wit us in the bed. hope it works

Kristi - posted on 02/17/2010

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I don't think there is anything wrong with cosleeping, my 7 month old still sleeps with us and it is really working out. That doesn't mean that cosleeping is right for you and your baby tho, every baby is different. It's likely that she's not sleeping well because she is sensing your anxiety. It might be time to try moving her into her crib but you don't have to do the "cry to sleep" method if you're not comfortable with it. I read a book called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" and it has a lot of great tips for transitioning to a crib if that's what you want to do. You could even try putting her down in her crib and then moving her back into bed with you when she wakes up in the middle of the night. There are also some tips in Dr. Sears' "The Baby Book". I know how important a good nights sleep is so do what feels right for you and your family.

Meredith - posted on 02/17/2010

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get a good nightly routine down. give her her last bottle/boob in her room in the dark. then place her in her crib. if she starts crying to the point where it sounds like someone's killing her, go in, lights out and place a pacifier in her mouth. rub her belly or her head. try this and she just may sleep in her own crib! baby's have to sleep sometime. don't give in to her crying. let her know that it's time to sleep in her own bed! this is WAY past due! plus, it's soooo dangerous to sleep with your child in the bed with you, expecially without a "co-sleeper". if you do have to pick her up, don't leave her room and don't turn on any lights. soothe her, then place her back into her crib. she'll eventually understand that she's NOT getting back into mommy and daddy's room. BE STRONG! and good luck! :)

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