When should adults stop walking around children naked?

Alisha - posted on 07/22/2011 ( 250 moms have responded )

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My mother and sister are constantly walking around the house either topless or with nothing on when they are about to go in the shower or when they get out. I feel uncomfortable when I see that because I keep myself covered up around my kids especially since I have 10 and 11 yr old boys plus my sister has a 5.5 yr old boy and he seems to like looking at his female cousins when they are in the bathroom.

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Sarah - posted on 07/10/2012

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Sherri, im not sure what you meant by " in your family..." But what you described with yours seems fine, no one is walking around naked like a slob. We have 1 bathroom and five ppl, so I know what you mean.
I would hug all over my moms naked body in the shower, and she was so "open minded" that she didnt correct this. I truley resent her for making ME responsible for putting an end to innapropriate behaviors. I also think that it is a kind of perversion to always want others to see you naked. I think its called voyerism. I want my family to be as far from perversion as possible so I am cautious in this area. No one freaks out if they see me change, and I did breastfeed without a cover. I only mean we do Not walk around the house naked as a family. Also, my husband is NEVER seen without underwear.

Sarah - posted on 07/10/2012

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Also, this world IS perverse! I want my children to know it is innapropriate for adults to be naked in front of children. I do not want "open minded" kids for this reason. Children are innocent, and often do innapropriate things that may embarrass them later in life. Its our job as parents to respect our children this way. We should consider their adult version.

Sarah - posted on 07/10/2012

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Also, this world IS perverse! I want my children to know it is innapropriate for adults to be naked in front of children. I do not want "open minded" kids for this reason. Children are innocent, and often do innapropriate things that may embarrass them later in life. Its our job as parents to respect our children this way. We should consider their adult version.

Sherri - posted on 07/10/2012

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In your family that may be the case Sarah but not in ours, We often times can't help it in our home we have 6 people and 1 bathroom. We often need to all get ready at the same time. We wear clothes all day but when we are using the bathroom, changing or showering we all see each other naked. Also my 6yr old opts to still shower with me.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/10/2012

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Let me be specific, I am never DELIBERATELY naked in front of the girls...it just seems that they always want to have a "chat" or have a question when I am trying to get dressed or in the tub or getting in or out of the shower. They absolutely do not give a hoot about my nakedness so I decided to just leave it. Use it as a teaching tool if I was asked mom whats that or "is that what I will look like" etc. My answer to the 11 year old to that one was...well yeah...."but without the stretch marks"

Sarah - posted on 07/10/2012

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Actually Laura, I come from a long line nudest. My mother showered with me untill I was 10 or 11. Looking back I really wish she would have had boudries in that area. I have four brothers; she walked around without pants or underwear on on a regular basis. Her vagina getting all over the furniture. We thought she was disgusting! I'm actually offended that she did not display decency in our home. My children know we are beautifully and wonderfully made. It isnt shame to cover up, its consideration for others, a sign of respect, and a show of decency. My children can learn about the beauty of the human body and its nakedness from Art, books ect. There is a time and a place for everything. Not wearing clothes in front of your family is at least rude, displays a kind of laziness, and lets face it were not all strippers. I do NOT think everyone is beautiful! I also know that everyone wont see me as beautiful. Its common curtisy to wear clothes, and I do it for my Family. If someone in my family walks in on me or visa-versa we all know to close the door and make nothing of it. There is no NEED for nakedness.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/10/2012

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I responded before, but I have to express an opinion here. I am naked in front of my daughters on occasion. To me that is alright. My mother was open about her body with my sister and I. In front of my sons...NO WAY. There is nothing wrong with the human body. God made it, its beautiful. Maybe I think this way after all the figure drawing classes with a nude model. I dunno, but in my case, being nude in front of my daughters who are now developing themselves has given them a real good idea of what they can expect. Puberty has not been scary for them, they are comfortable about it and are excited about becoming women themselves. I think same sex nudity is alright between a parent and child. Not extended family. I think it gets a bit weird then. I believe the innocence of my girls is totally intact. Innocence has nothing to do with nudity, but what you do with it.

Elisaac - posted on 07/10/2012

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You should try to preserve your children's innocence. There is no need for children to see naked adults. Especially since you mentioned that your sisters child who is 5.5 is noticing.

Its obvious that you don't seem to approve of your mothers and sisters actions. Just explain to them, in a polite way. Also, if a child grows up look at naked people, thinking its ok. When something wrong outside his home happens he/can't differentiate the right from the wrong, as they think its OK, since its happening around the house.

I person believe that children should be treated as children, and not send them mix signals. anyways.... hope it helps... :)
have a nice day....

Olga - posted on 07/10/2012

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definitely 2 yrs old that is it. Anything further is weird and confusing for the kids.

Ayoola - posted on 07/10/2012

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thanks love i love your message my advise to i will like you to deep yourself away from this don't allow them to corrupt whenever they walk around neck or topless or with nothing or whenever they are uncovered their self please try as much as possible to move away from there you can also enter your room and read your book.

Ayoola - posted on 07/10/2012

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let us be realistic our children are more important to us we don't need to be necked in their presence is not a good idea let us train them what Islam & Bible thought us to do this is work of we mother want the best for our children pls let us train them very well so that they can pray for us in future .

Laura - posted on 07/09/2012

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I understand that if one has a certain up-bringing,they believe that family members should not see each-other nude......but in all my counseling i have found that nude families are the most mentally healthy....obviously you were not raised in a nude family ,so you do not now have this healthy life style....but in any case we moms must not send messages to our kids age infant to 15 ,or any age,that some parts of the human body are unacceptable,and something "wrong"...this can lead to shame guilt anxiety that can stay with the poor child for life... ( is best to teach our kids the purity of the body at a very early age,so they grow up mentally healthy,...there is no logical reason for family members to hide their bodies.....the Creator made them pure and beautiful....but some see nastiness and ugliness ...it is all in the EYE of the beholder.. SO.....lets all try to SEE with more pure EYES, I have always felt that( and also hundreds of thousands of nude families ) this is the kinder,gentler more compassionate, path of acceptance and freedom ; so much more aware than stifling and repression..

Elizabeth - posted on 07/09/2012

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This is a tough one. Not all values are the same for each family. I would speak to your mother and sister and how it makes you uncomfortable. If you live with them, then perhaps it is time to find a place of your own with your child. Me, I have boys and girls. I require that people knock on my door before entering. Only place I am nude is in my own room. But as i have five kids, I have a revolving door. Once the youngest boy 15 walked right in without knocking..my first reaction was to cover up,, or freak..instead I just stood there naked and said what...you can't knock?..he nearly died of embarrassment..now he knocks louder than all of them. I am not ashamed of myself...but there are certain things a boy should just not see. ie, mama naked. lol.....As for my girls, they are younger and I don't worry so much. They come in and talk to me when I am in the tub...I always did that with my mom. Dad never is undressed anytime, except in front of me. This works for us as a family. Address this with your family members, they might be understanding of your concerns and adjust their behavior. You never know.

Laura - posted on 07/09/2012

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I understand some folk's traditions,but there are hundreds of thousands of family members in the world, perhaps millions,who feel that there is no reason all for a family member to hide their body from another family member ; shame and guilt can cause repression,anxiety,and mental dis--ease...we moms need to see with NEW eyes,the eyes of PURITY,that the Creator has made the body,PURE AND beautiful...indeed.it is all in the EYES of the beholder......

Ayoola - posted on 07/09/2012

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this is rubbish is not good because age 10 to 11 is old enough to keep our self off for please don't teach him or her bad thing because we as a mother we don't want them to miss behave here in Nigeria we don't tolerate this nonsense at least from age of 3 years we suppose to keep ourself tight for them not be seen our nakedness please try to adjust yourself.

Lecia - posted on 07/06/2012

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Well I personally am all for being free. I am also all for nursing. I love to walk around the confines of my own home and be free and comfortable. Fortunately for myself, I have all girls. Just as long as you teach your children and make them aware that being free is something we only do in our home amongst ourselves, I don't see any harm. In some countries, this is actually something that they do. They might just feel that we are actually wrong for wearing so much clothing. Think about it... With that said, those of us whom choose do do things a particular way with our children doesn't necessarily mean that we are wrong. Do what you do and screw what anyone thinks...

Laura - posted on 07/06/2012

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hi Sarah L, NOT TO CLEAR what you mean in your last reply.....but i'll take a wild guess that you were not raised in a nude family......sometimes people really take on a certain paradigm gained from how influenced as a child by what-ever....society,religion,tradition.It is how-ever one's family is comfortable,as you can see by my posts here.Persons that are raised as nudists have no aversions at all about the nude body at any age.

Sarah - posted on 07/06/2012

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If you are breastfeeding your breast should be seen as a tool to nuture your child first, then a sexual organ. If someone cannot separate these in their minds that's their problem!! If someone is comfortable flopping them out...look the other way!

Sarah - posted on 07/06/2012

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My take on these issues is: RESPECT the yet to be adult version of your child. I wouldn't want to see my mother starck naked at an age I could remember, or as a man I wouldn't want memmories of me snuggling my mothers bare chest ect

Sherri - posted on 07/06/2012

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@Melissa P. I never flop myself out and no one ever knows I am breastfeeding and I don't wear a cover. My shirt covers any visable part of my breast. A cover just draws attention that you are breastfeeding.

I just don't understand why the fear of letting a child she you naked even a baby. I understand some discomfort in some families once they are older but I don't understand a baby at all. In our family we don't agree with hiding nudity at all. My 15 & 13yr old still see me & their father naked daily, My 6yr old still showers with me & his dad, my newborn I breastfeed so he sees me multiple times every single day.

Melissa - posted on 07/04/2012

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@Sherri, I wasn't able to for medical reasons, ,but even in that you can wear a cover up and then breastfeed out in public or whatever out in that. You don't need to flop yourself out!

Laura - posted on 07/04/2012

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Veronica,considering family,as,I posted,many ,many thousands of families are naked around each other and cannot even think of a sensible reason not to ; what could be any possible reason for family members to hide their bodies from each-other We know that some believe ( from programmings, from decrepit,and very ignorant teachings,) that the body is nasty and "bad"......

...........surely since this is not the middle-ages any more, have we not rejected these superstitions,and have advanced to more enlightening,and intelligent concepts...? in all my counseling have found nude families to non-judgemental,and the MOST Mentally healthy families of all,

Learn to see with a PURE eye,the Creator has not made our bodies ugly,nasty or obscene,that comes from the MIND....if we see the body as nasty,or beautiful,........it is in the EYE of the beholder

Laura - posted on 07/03/2012

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Trish...Take HEART,ALL IS WELL,there are THOUSANDS of NUDE FAMILIES,.in our world,,..no one can be legally arrested for being a nudist..... .....do I hear 3 CHEERS !!!?

Laura - posted on 07/02/2012

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Danielle,no need to succumb to the silly social paradigm that says in effect"all family members must cover -up,as we have bad and nasty parts".....we should not dissparrage our bodies,but instead be grateful and proud,and can wake-up to the reality that the human body is not nasty,or"bad",but BEAUTIFUL! and we cam also let our kids know that we respect their wishes if they like to be naked sometimes.One mom forced her 4 yr old boy to wear cloths in bed!

Laura - posted on 07/02/2012

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yes,Melissa,nudist fams have too much opposition in the city,even in a small town,even in 2012!

Melissa - posted on 07/02/2012

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@ Laura .... YOU are a GREAT mom! It would be WONDERFUL for all of us to be presented with the opportunities that you seem to have had and continue to live with. Personally, I would have loved to be in your situation, but alas, it was not meant to be for me. Those of us living in the city, or military housing, or situations where many people come and go in and out of our homes A LOT during the day (some of whom aren't immediate family) just can't live that way. I know that as we have lived in this military lifestyle, my children needed to be able to play play play with the kids in the neighborhood, and that meant an almost open-door policy to the other families - ALL with VERY different values, ALL of whom were VERY judgmental. A "run-naked-wild-and-free" household would have left us totally outcast for our entire military life. Some military wives have nothing better to do than to make up fantastic stories of illegal things that could be going on in a household like that and call Child Services. :) NOPE, not an option for us!!!

Melissa - posted on 07/02/2012

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@ Julie - It's nice that you are ON TOPIC!! I think you are CORRECT. The original poster SHOULD stand up for what she feels is right and appropriate for her boys. If she does not like her sons seeing her mom and sister parade around the house naked, then maybe she should ask them to cover up. HOWEVER, if she REALLY WANTS to be there, enough not to leave (because if THEY do not want to change how they act in their own home, they don't HAVE TO) - then either she needs to have the boys avert their eyes, or just LET IT BE. The kids will survive it, in MY opinion, and maybe by reading all of this, she will change her feelings.

Melissa - posted on 07/02/2012

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@ Sherri.... Ahhh ... I was confused. I do think it is a little unnerving that some people think that even INFANTS shouldn't see naked skin. HOW is it possible to truly BOND and TOUCH and FEEL that deep deep deep maternal connection without the soft touch of a mother's breast? Or of a father's chest? Or a brother's belly? That seems ridiculous to me. BUT, we ARE JUDGING here. Some people have gone through traumatic events in their lives and they just simply cannot get past them, and perhaps they may not even know about them. WHO KNOWS... So, let it be, I guess. It IS good, though for someone with SUCH strict ideas to read that perhaps a few agree, but many will disagree, and perhaps read the reasons WHY.

Laura - posted on 07/01/2012

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This is Laura,Naturopathic Dr.& LC......

I think that there should be NO AGE LIMITS...this is your own family,why be ASHAMED 'the body is NOT NASTY but BEAUTIFUL,,,if we see nasty or if we see beautiful,it is all in the EYE of the beholder....we moms should have a pure mind...and not succumb to the ignorance...i am mom of 8...ages 4 to 11,and we have a very large property,where all the kids,love to run and play naked in our own woods,tree-houses,and meadows..and play pirates when cave exploring.... .also in our home...we have art ,music ,gymnastics,plays,home-schooling,organic Gardens,-all in the all-togather

{ Laura Mornings~Admin.~Nature Moms community }

Julie - posted on 07/01/2012

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If they are your children and you feel uncomfortable, then it is not appropriate. You have every right to ask them to be clothed when outside of there personal space/bathrooms. More than likely they are oblivious to the issue. It's your responsibility to protect your boys from what you feel is invasive and early exposure.

Sherri - posted on 07/01/2012

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@Melissa Horn sorry my post was directed at Melissa Pflugradt. Who stated:

You should never walk naked around your children. Always be decent in front of them no matter what month or age. I find that disturbing if you have to be naked in front of children at any point.

Melissa - posted on 07/01/2012

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Honestly, I think the only reason it really bothers me that my kids see my breasts is because I've had gastric bypass surgery 7 years ago. I used to be a 44DD and now my breasts are like Great-Grandma boobs. And my stomach hangs in a way that I HATE, as well. Maybe I don't want my sons to tell their friends "My Mom's boobs hang to her belly button!!" So when my boys come into my room when I'm changing, (they usually walk in talking or asking a question), I let them finish and I'll say something like, "Ummm, did you WANT to see my saggy boobs or what?" And they usually say, "NO, I'm not looking!" and turn around and put something over their head and lay on my bed and keep talking to me. I don't want them to think they can't be with me or catch a glimps of me. I don't care THAT much. But they know I don't like my saggy breasts and it makes me uncomfortable for people to see them now that I've had the bypass. Maybe that's wrong, but we're honest in our family about insecurities and about feeling great about other stuff. I don't think it's a HUGE deal.

Melissa - posted on 07/01/2012

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Yes, I breastfed all 4 of my kids. I agree with you... like I said, sex crimes are WAY low in countries that believe the body is beautiful. When we first got to Germany, my kids were shocked and it took them a minute before they had to laugh that MOST of the kids under age 4 at the pools were all naked. In the locker rooms, my kids had to get used to everyone changing in front of each other as if they were in front of their family. My daughter was looking at me like, "MOMMY! There are boobies EVERYWHERE!!!" It was pretty hilarious. We walked out of the locker room and met my husband and 3 sons and all of the boys' eyes were like pancakes. My oldest was shaking his head and saying "Thank GOD I'm outta there!" My husband and I were LAUGHING. Because I don't know about other European countries, but Germans ALSO don't have ANY concept of personal space. There is NO "bubble". On a park bench with PLENTY of room, you might find a stranger will sit closer to you than your spouse! But now, I think my boys are not going to be LUSTING just to see breasts when they hit puberty. They know what they look like. I could be wrong. Who knows.

Sherri - posted on 06/30/2012

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@Melissa so do you or have you ever breastfed?

Believe it or not it is more detrimental to your children to never see a naked body then it is if they do. Also in countries that see naked bodies everyday as they have more nudists the sex crime rate is much lower then it is in countries that feel there is something wrong with nudity.

Laura - posted on 06/30/2012

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their is NOTHING INDECENT,what-so ever- about the human body,the Creator created it BEAUTIFUL, the indecency or nastiness, is in the MIND,...try to see with PURE-EYES....almost all moms realize that loading the poor child with shame and guilt,causes extreme anxiety,and mental illness that can last a lifetime.....

.....the bogus teaching of the nastiness of the naked form comes from the ignorance of the decrepit social black mold of the Victorian times,still grossly embedded into the American,and British societies,and also from wacko religious cults,( in some places seeing a nude person ,even a family member is gets a sever punishment,if not the death penalty.)..so this is what superstition can do,this is not the middle ages,but folks who have been brain-washed with this horrible stuff , well that makes you wonder...

..I as a Naturopathic Dr.,LC.and family counselor,always advise parents who have a question about being a nude family,then I say, "at least give the child the respect of him, or her ,to be nude in the privacy of the home,if they wish to do so."..I find that nude families are the most mentally and spiritually healthy...remember it is all in the EYE of the beholder,and having cloths on,( if you are dealing with a perverted mind ) ,does NOT stop that mind from it's perverted thinking process...

For the PURE the nude body doses not automatically mean sex..and when talking about a child,.this is the adult projecting an adult dynamic upon the poor innocent child,because he or she is not even THINKING about sex,little one's don't even know what sex is, they just want to be natural,,,all children just naturally love to be naked,and parents some times forget when THEY were children...

Melissa - posted on 06/30/2012

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You should never walk naked around your children. Always be decent in front of them no matter what month or age. I find that disturbing if you have to be naked in front of children at any point.

Kimberlea - posted on 06/29/2012

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Never, I'm always around my children naked. They are 4 and 18 months, the human body is not taboo in our household.

Laura - posted on 06/28/2012

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i know that Americans have been taught a lot of things that are harmful to our well-being ;,as a family counselor ,I deal with this all the time: yes it is practical for a person who is uncomfortable with seeing a nude body to express that to the person.,and please do so. But the religions have brought more wars,death,and suffering than any-thing in history.Many have been programmed and brain-washed,to believe that things that supposedly happened say,10,000,yrs ago ,have effect ,yes a very negative effect,nudity is still a great crime in some countries and religions....it is all in the EYE of the beholder if you see nastiness,or beauty...let's be in the here and now ,and not try to figure out what somebody meant in ancient times.....I do not know such folks,so i do not even consider any-thing about it...I do know that if a parent tells their child that parts of their body are evil and nasty that the child can be loaded with shame and guilt,and have severe mental dysfunction for life.Try to see with PURE eyes,the beauty of the body...it was not created ugly or "bad"..I have found that,in fact, nude families are the most mentally healthy,but every family will choose their own way regardless....

Brandi - posted on 06/28/2012

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i say if your uncomfortable with it that is fine its completely up to the household....id speak to ur mom and sister if it makes u uncomfortable. Its all about what u want your kids to see and not see. i used to bathe with my kids, i have to girls and a boy but after they hit a year old i stopped as recommended by their doctor and EHS teachers. It s a privacy thing with me, im a private person....i mean me n my girls still go into the bathroom together but we are girls....thats we girls do even after high school LOL but u get my meaning...i still go in with my son and help him hes 5 but i look away at his request, until he is finished and help him wipe, not as often as i used to, hes getting the hang of it...and i help him in the tub mainly washing his hair but again i look away until hes ready for his hair to be washed....its not bad to want privacy its not being ashamed of your body...u can say God created us naked BUT what yall seem to forget is AFTER the sin committed by Adam and Eve, they needed to cover their bodies. and that is how it is. You do what is comfortable for u and ur family....=)

Melissa - posted on 06/28/2012

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Okay, I have talked to my psychiatrist about this. I have THREE BOYS. 12, 11, and 9 now.. and a 7 year old girl (who does NOT respect THEIR privacy unless I YELL at her!). The boys WILL LEAVE if they are uncomfortable. It is totally NORMAL for them to learn about the private parts of their parents and each others' anatomies. BELIEVE ME - I was ready to throttle my boys because they got to a point of sticking their fingers up each other's butt's (well not REALLY - but poking at them) and laughing and screaming at each other, when they were around 5, 6, 7... They had NO SHAME about walking into the bathroom when I was in the tub or shower, and my 11 year old and 9 year old, STILL keep doing it from time to time. Personally, I dislike my memories of seeing my mom walking from the bathroom topless from the bathroom to the bedroom all the time, but I'm not traumatized by it, and at least these boys will know the difference between women and girls and everything in between. I lived in Germany for 4 years and nudity at the pool is TOTALLY NORMAL. To be honest, men that have had MORE exposure to nude women are MUCH MUCH MUCH LESS LIKELY to commit sex crimes. That might sound offensive to you now, but if you think about it, it's a fact, and I'm not trying to be rude. In Europe, the rate of sex crimes is extremely minimal because breasts are a part of life, not a secret.

Laura - posted on 06/05/2012

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Ashly! Koodoos to YOU!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,so many are programmed to see the nude body as only for sex,,,,( this is the old Victorian social-cultural paradigm..{.) nude body =sex and shame.}we must learn to see with Pure eyes ...the actual beauty and perfection of this Creation stands on it's own,,,,and only the dirty mind sees it as dirty.....this is 2012,not the middle ages! Lets become a little more Enlightened,shall we....

Laura - posted on 06/05/2012

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Well there many families who all are nude in their own homes,

..........................I am a naturopath,,counselor,and child advocate.a breast feeding mom...

.......There is no logical reason for families HIDING their bodies from each other,this is 2012...not the middle ages......it is just the old worn out Victorian nasty social paradigm still captivating the American PSYCHE...still crippling our minds,with the silly decrepit teaching that the body is ugly,nasty,and bad ,,,

..There have been so many posts such as ; "My 3 or 4 or 5 yr old, loves to be naked, in our home ,how can i sop this? "

...we know that kids just naturally like to be naked,,,,and so do many "grown-ups" !........Now..... Do you think that these kids that still have a pure nature , MIND SEEING THEIR PARENTS NAKED?....the child has a PURE mind-set about the body ,but so many parents have the mind-set that nudity equals sex....very sad....damaging....hurtful....

.........All I can say is " try to heal~~~and see the reality,that the body is indeed BEAUTIFUL, and that there is no logical reason to hide it from our own flesh and blood....try to see with more pure eyes."...

this is Laura Mornings~~Administrator of Nature Moms community {.all are welcome to join }

[deleted account]

But to give an age, I would say not past 3, and it depends on why they are being exposed to you..

[deleted account]

Hmmm, well to be honest I don't think my children need to see me naked. The only person who should see me is my husband.

Natalie - posted on 06/03/2012

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It's totally up to you and when you feel uncomfortable with it, you just make the decision and say. Personally, I think nakedness is totally fine and good for children to see from people they are close with. It would be weird if it was people outside of the family or less close maybe extended family. As long as people aren't all "look at me, I'm naked" or getting naked to show the children. My parents would let us see them naked, even as teenagers. We'd think they were weird looking, but normal. The context would be them getting ready in the morning or going into the shower from the bedroom. Now I let my daughter see me naked, and she's 3 so still little and maybe in the future I won't but I think I probably will. I think its better she form an opinion of what a woman should look like by seeing me in all my stretchmarked glory than from an airbrushed magazine.

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