When should adults stop walking around children naked?

Vannesa - posted on 12/14/2011

i dont know i guess for girls its ok because it kinda helps them with their growth and development. however, when you on your menstrual cycle dont walk around naked with the pad or tampon stuck there for them to see or even wear them in front of you kids its kinda wierd and you know young ones they tend to act out what you do and especially when there are guests around.
Both my kids know they are not allowed in the room when dad is bathing or dressing. the 2yr 11month one is tricky coz she is quite demanding and always wants her way but we just put our foot down and tell her 'no'

Heather - posted on 12/10/2011

@ Alfreda Im sorry my thinking being naked infront of my kids is nasty offends you. Everybody has their opinion but I do not think that just because I dont walk infront of my kids naked will make them turn to porn. I was never around my parents naked when I was a child nor did I get the sex talk. I didnt turn to porn (like porn would kill me anyways) and I figured it out myself. I def didnt need my father showering with me to figure out he had a penis and I had a Vagina. Its called school.

Ashley - posted on 12/09/2011

i nvr went naked infront of mine. but by 4 yrs old i quit changing in front of them.

Alfreda - posted on 12/09/2011

Why do people use words like nasty and gross to describe nudity. Why are people scared that kids will start to ask questions. It is natural and healthy for them to ask questions. They should ask these questions, and they should have them answered. If everything regarding sex and masturbation and nudity is forbidden who will they get their information from? They will turn to porn because they are curious. If they know what a naked female/male looks like, and they know what sex is about, and they know that it is normal to experiment with themselves, they will be less likely to peep on members of the opposite sex, or find other means to satisfy their curiosity. As for breastfeeding, perhaps your son was interested in the whole process not just your breast. Being interested and curious is normal. The first time I saw a woman breastfeeding I totally looked because I thought it was beautiful, and I am a girl. It had nothing to do with wanting to peep at the lady's breasts. I find it pretty sad when children are allowed to see explosions and murder on tv, but a little nipple due to a costume malfunction causes family panic. It wouldn't have been such a big deal if those boys had seen their mommy naked.

Heather, both my girls went for my husband's as well, but he was faster. He just told them, that is mine and it is private. I don't touch your private parts, you don't touch mine.

Heather - posted on 12/09/2011

I agree with trish pulley after 2-3 it shouldnt happen. There isnt anything wrong with being naked but I dont think its right to do it infront of children. My ex husband had this problem and I told him many times that its was nasty and weird. He finally learned his lesson when my daughter almost 2 reached up and pulled it HARD. Pain finally helped reality set in.

Alfreda - posted on 12/09/2011

I think it has more to do with the comfort level of everybody involved. My husband and I do not walk around our house naked; however, we will both walk from the bed to the shower naked and don't cover up for the sake of our children. My husband still showers with my girls in the morning as he is the one that gets them ready for school. I am gone already. My almost 5 year old is almost old enough to start showering on her own although I do worry about her slipping. Right now it is convenient for him.

He asked me a few times what age he should start covering up in front of them. My response, if you are uncomfortable, cover up. If they are uncomfortable, cover up. It is about respect. When they start asking for privacy, we will respect their privacy and we expect them to respect us as well.

They are aware that their daddy has a penis and they don't. They know that he is a boy and they are a girl and they know how to tell.

I think in a way, it prevents curiosity since they know what the opposite sex looks like and there is no mystery. It is just a body. It will not cause boys to mature before their time or start masturbating earlier than they would otherwise. Honestly, even if they do start masturbating early, wouldn't you rather they masturbate than start sexual activity with somebody else.

Since it makes you uncomfortable, I would speak to them about it. I would speak with your boys and find out if it makes them uncomfortable, at that age it might. Make sure they feel open to say something if it does.

As for your sister's child, I would say it is her business. Just like it is your right to ask her to cover up in front of your boys, she has the right to parent her children in the way that she feels is right. This is a very personal issue and as you can see there are many different opinions. It really is a personal choice.

My husband for instance has issues with my kids running around with no underwear on, since he thinks it is unhygienic for people to sit on things with bare bums. I respect that wish and back him up even though I don't really think it is a big deal.

Beenish - posted on 12/08/2011

stupid

Tashi - posted on 12/07/2011

At OP though, if you do not feel comfortable with your mom and sis being naked around your kids adress it to them. Tell them that the boys are getting older and curious and now that they are entering tween/teen time its just not the same. Perhaps if you put it that way, not as a YOU are wrong but as a THE BOYS are changing thing they'll get it. I hope. Good luck, that's got to be hard to spit out but you are going to need to adress it.

Tashi - posted on 12/07/2011

i THINK THAT EVERY FAM HAS DIFF VALUES. I know that grouwing up my parents walked around naked all the time and it was only as a teen that I became uncomfortable with my dad doing so and started being more careful about knocking b/f I went in his room. In our house there is only 1 bathroom and so my kids do come in and out and yes they've seen me naked LOTS of times. Its family we deal and we talk about the diff. b/w family and others and that either way its never okay for someone to touch you other than a dr. with mommy there or helping w/bathing.
I find some of the remarks that dad has not seen the child naked since.... 3, 4 etc. kinda sad. So does that mean that mom would also not help a boy to bathe???
We talk about our bodies and their changes and the funny things boys bodies can do in a natural way... which means that yes, my son comes to me with questions b/c he knows I will not freak and will answer honestly and fully and with luck that will continue.

Tiffany - posted on 12/05/2011

my son is 4 and still takes showers with me, my dad, or my stepmom. He knows what "private parts" are for both boys and girl and knows that his are his and not to be shown to anybody other than mommy, papa, or yaya(stepmom). He knows if someone touches him in his private part he is to tell and he has done so. When you are a single mom there are a lot of things you have to deal with that society might not agree with. He takes a bath on his own but hes not ready to shower on his own and if thats the time he gets to spend with me because im working or in school he just wants time with mom and the body isnt a part of whats going on. Now 10 and 11 yes i will cover up at that point and i would expect my mother and sister to know they need to cover up also. The bathroom is a room for a reason and should provide enough space to change your clothes before and after shower or at least have a robe to go between rooms.

Lisa37601 - posted on 12/05/2011

my son is 10
me adn my hubby and our son go nude all the time around the house

Shea - posted on 12/05/2011

My daughter is 6 year old and is very aware that boys are different then girls. She understands that she is a girl, and that boys are different from her. To me, that speaks loud & clear that nudity should be limited to her own in our house. She has been aware of the differences for years now, so its hard to say...Id say take your child's lead in this case....what she/he understands, the dynamics of the household, etc.

Melissa - posted on 12/05/2011

2yrs old, but I have never walked around naked in front of my children aged 12yrs, 10yrs, and 6yrs. I just do not think it is right to do. Parents should know better, and taking a bath with your child nowadays can get you into big trouble you can not be in the tub with your child you can only supervise the child.

Shannon - posted on 12/02/2011

Wow. I didn't know this was such a hot topic. But I have been debating this issue lately. I have a 12 year old son and a 2month old girl that I am nursing. I don't walk around this house naked, but my son has grown up seeing me in my underwear. I thought nursing would be no big deal. But he was too interested for my comfort. I tried using my nursing cover, but that aw hard because she doesn't latch well. So I was Harding seeing my son when I had to send him out of the room every time I fed the baby. Finally I tried again, and found that he wasn't as interested anymore. I cover up as much as I can, and have him turn away when I put her on or take her off.

I think it depends on everyone's comfort level, especially the child's. My parents said they both walked around the house naked infront of me, and I remember that with no I'll effects. But my sister, who is 2 years younger, got too curious and started to stare at my Dad when she was a few years old. So he said that's when he stopped walking around naked.
Does anyone else have experience nursing around older children?

Nathalie - posted on 12/02/2011

Come on people! Really!! Why should we be ashamed of our bodies? We were ALL born naked! My parents never hid themselves from me, nakedness is natural, along with breast feeding, should i be hiding my breasts from my 7yr old son and 5yr old daughter when i am feeding my infant son because it is indecent?? People get complexes and issues with their bodies because of this sort of thing. I am not saying walk around naked in front of friends, or your kids friends, but around your own family, why the heck not? I want my children to grow up, not being ashamed of their bodies. I cannot take a bath without one of the family walking in, my husband can be taking a pee and we have been known to wander in. Boys and girls from a young age are going to be curious about the other types of "bits" the opposite sex have...why should that be compressed and turned into something wrong? Both my children understand that girls have innies and boys have outies..nakedness should not be something you hide within a family!

Jamie - posted on 12/02/2011

no Adult should be naked at all around there kids it is Just wrong

Centain - posted on 12/01/2011

As a mother of a son, I made sure all nudity was stopped BEFORE he was old enough to remember what he's seen, he was 3.
Once a child is around 4, they are able to create lifelong memories, and for a boy to have the unfortunate lifelong image of his mothers naked body? Not really a great image to remember.
However, I think its a little different for same sex parents, and you can get away with it a bit longer!

Liz Beth - posted on 12/01/2011

My daughters are 9 and 7 and I walk around naked all the time. I think us being females, we feel comfortable doing that and don't see a big deal about it. :)

Lisa - posted on 12/01/2011

Once again, I agree with many of the comments posted here. However being a single mom with a child of the opposite sex, the age range must be adjusted a bit mainly for safety reasons. And @Lillie, your response and advice was awesome.

Stephanie - posted on 12/01/2011

Personally, just from being able to recall things from when I was younger than four, I decided to stop letting my son see me in my birthday suit when he turned three. He and daddy are still allowed but mommy is off limits. He occasionally sees me in panties and bra but he says things like "Aww mom!" and rolls his eyes or looks away. I think it does depend on the kid. He knows about his private parts and we give him privacy as well.

Siri Shakti - posted on 11/30/2011

What a good question... Well if we lived in a awesome Indigenous tribe then we would walk around half nude all the time. Woudn't that be freeing! But since we don't live in that setting I'd have to say 8 or 9. My daughters see me naked all the time, we are all ladies so it's no big deal. but they are 7 and 10 now, they don't need to be seeing dad naked, they think that is gross! LOL

Jenna - posted on 11/29/2011

I personally don't think adults should walk around their child naked ever. Then there is never the question of when to stop. I think underwear is okay, though. To be honest, I don't even like parading around naked in front of my spouse. It's just not a comfortable way to be for me.

Amy - posted on 11/28/2011

In our house, we were more private about our privates at when our oldest boy reached 5. If it seams to be a concern, my suggestion is to mention how you feel when your sister and mother show the goods. If they feel the need to continue to use their birthday suits instead of clothes, then talk to your children and explain what is important to you about modesty.

Angela - posted on 11/27/2011

Everyone does things differently. Of course the little boys are going to look, they are at that curious stage w themselves & others. I think it maybe time to cover up. I have a 5yr old son & he will walk in on me changing or coming out of the shower. I dont want him to be ashamed of by his body BUT he is autistic (high functioning) so Im trying to teach him discression! If I let him ...he wld be naked 24/7 lol!

Jayne - posted on 11/27/2011

i don't understand why you received flack i think you have a healthy attitude towards nudity. a lot of people make an issue out of it and that in turns starts other balls rolling. and the reason i don't allow my daughter to sit around naked is because at nine years old she's not very lady like in how she sits lol. i believe it's what works for you and honestly no body should be judging other people's attitudes in some cultures it's perfectly natural to go naked all the time!

Lillie - posted on 11/27/2011

Ohmigoodness! Did I recieve flack! Let me make myself clear. Our home isn't a nudist colony and I don't make it a habit to walk around naked! However, if my son walks in on me getting dressed, I don't make a huge fuss. And, we still sleep nude, however, on those nights that I suspect he may crawl in our bed, I try to wear a nightgown (I don't sleep well) or keep one nearby & slip it on. I learned from experience that not making an issue of nudity has a lasting effect. My cousins and my 3 older children have never felt the need to look at nudy magazines or experiment with sex because "they've already seen the body of the opposite sex" and there is no mystery. To them, it's just normal. They don't feel the need to explore. I'm not a pervert and neither is my husband. When our daughters were younger, my husband kept shorts near so that if one walked in on him, or, crawled in our bed, he was prepared. We just never made an issue out of nudity, nor did we make it a "mystery" that they wanted to explore later on in life.

Dena - posted on 11/27/2011

I tend to do it a lot I have four girls 7,9,10 and 12 and a boy my son is 4. My mom told me that she wished her mother was a little more open with her, she never saw her naked. Her mother never discussed puberty and my mom told me it was very scary when she got her menstrual cycle. As far as the girls are concerned I do not think there is an age limit I am open and I notice they do ask more questions when they get older. My husband has never walked around in front of the girls and makes it quite clear to the girls when he is present and that is great. I am just having problems with my son he is a mamma's boy does not to be in the bathroom with daddy and always wants to be with mommy. Hopefully as he gets older he will think I am gross. That is my dilemma. To make my self clearer I do not walk around naked usually with a towel and I let them know when I am getting dressed. Its just sometimes you have bra emergencies etc.. My house is not a nudist colony.

Jayne - posted on 11/26/2011

I've always taught my daughter that the naked body is nothing to be ashamed of, and to respect it, and she will sometimes sit in my bedroom talking to me while i get changed, but i don't allow her to sit around without underwear or clothing on, and my husband no longers walks around naked out of respect for her.

Lillie - posted on 11/26/2011

We have never made gender an issue and my son is perfectly at ease with nudity. My mother taught us to sleep nude as clothing "binds you and doesn't allow you to fully relax". Many nights, we wake up with our 6 year old son in our bed. He sleeps in his underpants by his choice. He still walks in on me in the bathroom, jumps in the shower with either of us and isn't fazed by seeing either his father or me naked. When he was about 4, he asked me about why my breasts are bigger than his or Daddy's and I just matter-of-factly explained that women are built differently than men because we are the "Mommies" and carry the baby and nurse it. He has never mentioned it again and if he happens to walk in on a movie we're watching that has nudity, he doesn't even notice it. I think children should be raised to NOT be ashamed of their bodies and the only way to do that is to allow them to see that you aren't ashamed of your's. When he is older and begins to acknowledge the differences, we will stop walking around naked. I now deter him from taking a shower with me and he's fine with that. It's not an issue. I just tell him that "I want a private shower right now" or tell him he's "too old to share the shower" and he takes one by himself.

Jodie - posted on 11/25/2011

My children are 9 and 6, and we have not even walked about semi or completely naked since they were about 18mths; we haven't allowed my daughter (now 6) to walk around with her top off or with her underwear showing or my son with his underwear showing since they were about 18mths.

WJ - posted on 11/24/2011

Alisha, I don't think you care what others do in their homes but you're looking for support, and possibly ideas on how to deal with your family. I don't know if your mom and sister live with you or if you live in their home, but in either case you're not comfortable and you need ways to deal with your family without hurting anyone's feelings.

your boys are very close to puberty, and may have already started to change. You may want to remind your mom and sister of that fact. They may still think of the boys as little kids and it hasn't really dawned on them just how old the boys are getting. Perhaps you could ask your mom for advice on dealing with boys and puberty, that might be all that is required. good luck, and please post to give us an update on how it is going.

Jenna - posted on 11/22/2011

I have 4 kids. Aged 9-4. 2 boys and 2 girls. I don't have walk around them naked but I don't want them to think being naked is nasty. My boys sleep in their underwear because that is what they are comfortable with. Each child learns modesty at their own time. My 9 year old is one that does not want to be seen naked at all by anyone and she makes sure to lock the doors and cover up. My boys are streakers but they don't like showing their butts.... (I don't know why) my 5 year old daughter doesn't really care who is around when she changes. She will drop trow in the middle of a living room. I tell them strangers don't need to see their privates. When I change I tell them I like my privacy and they will respectfully talk through the door. So I don't think it's something to be scolded but I don't think adults need to be naked around kids constantly at any age. I mean an accidental walk in isn't a big deal but more than that is just plain rude. I mean I don't want to see my parents naked (GROSS) and I don't think my kids want to see me naked either. Not that we are prudes or anything. It's just that privacy is privacy.

Annabel - posted on 11/22/2011

I have no problem with kids at any age, its down to individual families - if you are are uncomfortable then its time to stop I suppose, and never in front of guests. From our point of view, we don't care if they see us, they don't care if we see them, i'm not suggesting i'm planning on taking up being a naturist but its fine t i think the fact this is even a conversation is down to people confusing being naked /in underwear and sexuality.



That said its all about situations, nipping out to fetch a dry towel from the laundry cupboard isn't the same as sitting around the living room stark naked, them bursting in on you dressing isn't the same as cooking in your underwear ... afterall they are used to seeing me in a bikini on the beach, how is that different to seeing me dress. Theres a lot to be said to the laid back european attitude. And your kids seeing you naked is not illegal or we would have to arrest all naturists and most people who holiday in the Med who sunbathe topless!

Heidi - posted on 11/21/2011

that should never happen, only behind close doors

Kristal - posted on 11/20/2011

I would say with girls, age 5, with boys age 3.

Lisa - posted on 11/19/2011

@ April, with the exception of those who commented about completely inappropriate possible abusive situations, I think Alisha should explain to her mom and sister that walking around topless or naked in front of preteen boys, they either stop of find a new place to live/visit/vacay. As for the cut off age of being naked around a child of the opposite sex, as many have said it depends on the norm for their culture, established family values and obviously country of habitat. I am a single mom with a 4 year old and it would be impossible to get anywhere on time if I did not occasionally have to walk semi nude between my bathroom and bedroom. Also, sometimes I take a bath with curtains drawn as my son naps, watches tv before bed - in which I do show modesty but do not freakout if he comes in and asks me something. Single parents have to ensure safety, time management and teach modesty often to children of the opposite sex. My goodness, when I started toilet training my son, I had NO IDEA how to hold-point-shoot? Therefore, Alsiha set some guidelines. Those of you who mentioned pornography.... yikes. And over modesty does leave a sense of shame with the naked body. As soon as I know my son is fully safe without my constant checking in on him I won't be nude around him. He will rarely see me without at least a sports bra and boxers. By the time he is a preteen I am sure he will join those kids who see their parents somewhat undressed and say "OH GAWD mom, that's GROSS".

April - posted on 11/19/2011

well, since its just me and my girls here, we are a natural naked friendly clothing optional (except when its cold out, clothes must be worn, even in doors) family...the body is completely natural and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Hiding your body from your kids shows them that there is something to be ashamed about....now, there *IS* a difference between being modest and just being out there...but, in our house, we arent ashamed to be naked in front of each other.

I see nothing wrong with it.

HOWEVER, in your situation OP, you have boys and its your mother and sister. Theres a bit of indecency involved there and you have every right to give them the "thats not appropriate about my boys" talk.

Whether or not theyll do it remains to be seen, especially since none of us know them, or your circumstances, how old they both are (your mother and sister, not your boys) and all that good stuff.

I suggest sitting down with both your mom and sister and explaining to them how you feel.

Julie - posted on 11/18/2011

By AGE 2 at the latest!
My ex. saw nothing wrong is the girls seeing him nude ... little did I realize he was grooming them for future molestation!

Julie - posted on 11/18/2011

Christmas is coming - guess what you can buy your mom and your sis? BATHROBES ...soft and fluffy so they WANT to wear them -

Walking around nude or partially nude is WRONG ... VERY bad judgement on their parts...

Get your nephew out of the bathroom when ANYONE else is using it -

Teach each child to go in - shut the door- wash hands when they are done, etc.

Lisa - posted on 11/18/2011

The Walking naked question Alisha posted was a good topic to address. Most replies included married couples, does the acceptable age range of adult nakedness change for single parents?

Katie - posted on 11/18/2011

i was very oh its natural to walk around naked, until my son was introduced to pornography by my exhusband. It gave me a new outlook on that. I try to explain that its private time when we are in the bathroom.

Kim - posted on 11/18/2011

I have a little boy and we ended it at 2. Especially because I am a woman and he is way too young to know what women look like. He knows that if mom or dad are using the restroom or taking a shower he can talk to us through the door if he needs anything, but he knows not to walk in on someone.

Candace M - posted on 11/15/2011

i see your point- in your case u may be right..

Elizabeth - posted on 11/14/2011

It all depends on the situation. You don't want children to feel you have to hide yourself as if their is shame. However, you don't want the other extreme either.

My husband and I have a master bathroom in our room. We walk freely when getting dressed or getting in and out of the shower. If the children come in the room, they know they are likely to see us changing and possibly naked. If they choose not to want to see us undressed, then they simply don't come in our room w/o knocking or asking if we are dressed. So far both my son (5) and daughter (7) are comfortable being around us when we are dressing and we don't alter our dressing habits when they are in the room. I want them to know we are comfortable with our own bodies. Of course there are times I want privacy and that is also fine and accepted. Just as I respect them and knock on their door if they are dressing and when they want privacy they get it.

Some of the best chats I have with my daughter are when I'm in the shower and she comes in to talk. My son was never interested in showering with me or my husband after the age of 1yr. Occassionaly when in a rush or to save water my daughter and I will still shower together (large shower).

Our bodies are natural and should not be hidden or shamed but shown respect. It is also very important to teach children when it is ok and when it is not okay to be undressed and to respect their own bodies.

Hope this helped some of you.

Lisa - posted on 11/14/2011

I think the age range differs when you are divorced. If you are the sole care taker of a 3-6 year old, being in a state of undress as you eyeball your child eat, play, dress is a necessity. My son (age 4) rarely bathes with me, but if we are in a rush I shower with him - his back facing me. I don't walk around braless or without panties, and cover up without being flustered if he walks in on me. The message being that mommy has different parts and privacy is important when we both dress, bathe, and use the toilet. I give my son the same privacy and only come in if he needs help. The less of a fuss, the less of a shameful or naughty thing it becomes. Single parents have to allow for more time/age seeing parents undressed than couples do--to this day (age 41) I have never seen my parents naked, or without being covered by a tshirt or shorts. The message it gave me as a child was that nudity was WRONG, SHAMEFUL, and could lead to bad behaviors. It is important to teach children that the human body in it's natural state is beautiful and normal. You also tell them that their private parts are unique and special- if anyone asks them to see or touch them to tell mommy or daddy immediately. Most of us can sense when it is time to "cover up" our bits with our children. When parents overreact and set strict guidelines as to what age is appropriate for their child to see them naked, it may lead to a unnatural curiosity of nudity, or shame of their own bodies.

Candace M - posted on 11/13/2011

once my kids are walking around i don't let them see me naked, i think it is innapropriate. Just my opinion.

April - posted on 11/12/2011

i really cant say, my oldest r 8 and 12 (girls) they've seen me naked, and my husband complained that i shouldnt let them see me naked, i replied that they are girls and they are going to have the same body parts as me, i dont see a problem with it.... i also have a 3yr old son, but im uncomfortable to be around him naked...so i guess it really depends on the gender of the child

Brenda - posted on 11/11/2011

I think by one year old. I think it is ok until they are 8 or 10 in your underwear but not naked.

Brenda
childrenscastleboutique.com

Rebecca - posted on 11/11/2011

I would think they would cover up around your boys as that is not teaching them any manners or respect for women.

Donna - posted on 11/10/2011

I would sit down with both of them and discuss it. Some people are very open about things like this so they are not always aware that others don't feel the same way. You don't want to wait until a very embarrassing moment happens.