Advice on helping 18month son adjust to newborn arrival?

Jessica - posted on 03/04/2010

'There's a house inside my mummy' by Giles Andreae.... A fantastic book about a little boy awaiting the arrival of his little brother or sister who lives in the house inside mummys tummy!! Great way of explaining it to your child!
Also the baby doll is a fantastic idea!! my girl has a doll and pram and cradle ALL in preparation to be a 'little mummy' and help me when we have another child... if you dont worry too much about the jealousy it wont be a problem.. Just always include your toddler in everything from bathing to dressing and playing!

Valerie - posted on 01/17/2010

My oldest two are 23 months apart and I'm pregnant right now, which will make my youngest two also 23 months apart! When my 2nd child was born, my son did amazingly well. We made a big deal about HIS baby and included him in as much as possible when taking care of the baby. He did talk very, very well, which seemed to make it easier to comminicate with him and he was able to tell us what he was thinking and feeling. My youngest son, who will be 23 months when his new baby brother comes, is a totally different kid. I am wondering if I will be dealing with jealousy and him being too rough with the baby. He is very clingy with me, but not with anyone else. He is also very demanding and gets very upset when he doesn't get his way. I plan to do the same thing and include him in as much as possible with the baby. I think it will be more challening this time, but well worth the effort.

Rhiannon - posted on 01/17/2010

I bought home baby number two 4 months ago (they're 15 months apart) and was worried about the same thing. Turns out, my June 08 baby LOVES his new sister! He is always kissing her and patting her. I often have to remind him to be gentle but he got better with that early on. Now he is cracking the poos though when she is given toys :( so that will be a new one to work on! He was only really rough once (he stamped on her neck when she was 2 weeks old) and without a moments hesitation or thought he got the smack of a lifetime on the bum. He has never done it again. Early on we had to set up a cot in the kitchen (just a port a cot) for day time as he wouldn't leave her be at all, always wanting to touch her.



I guess the only advice I have is to let your boy experience the baby to, rather than always trying to keep him away. And your new baby might need to go into a play pen at times. If your son has never been in one, I doubt he will suddenly start!

Amber - posted on 01/17/2010

Girl I don't know what to tell you it is actually nice to know that there is another mom that has an 18 month old son and another on the way I am pregnant again and have an 18 month old boy myself when you figure it out let me know please. amber

Shannon - posted on 01/16/2010

In some ways it will be easier in that he is too young to fully understand the new demands on your time, in other ways it will be even harder because he is so young, and he will need your time. I usually suggest that mom & dad set aside some time for the 1st born which is uninterrupted. TIme is the biggest helper in these situations, kids will adapt to anything with enough time.

Stefanie - posted on 01/15/2010

My first two were 18 months apart. I know it sounds crazy, but we got him a "baby" doll the month before his new brother came home. I don't know if that helped, or if he was just a good big brother, but we had absolutely no problems with our oldest adjusting to his new little brother. When the newborn first comes home, the major problem is lack of sleep, try your hardest to get on a nap routine with the oldest and rest when they do...if they want to be rocked, then just chill out in the rocking chair with both and a book, or even a little time of cartoons...take what you can get when you can get it. I had my third boy 2 months before my oldest turned 4...that was more nerve racking, but my husbands help when he came home from work, was always what i looked forward to...GOOD LUCK! Don't get overwhelmed with the day-to-day things and enjoy them while they are young!!

Staci - posted on 01/14/2010

The co-sleeping should probably be weaned ASAP...you don't want him to feel like he was pushed out of the bed by the new baby so you need to transition him before the baby arrives. I have an 18 mo old daughter and am expecting my second (a boy) in april...they will be 22 months apart. My daughter is obsessed with baby dolls right now so I have been holding her baby and rocking it like it was real...she shows some signs of jealousy when I hold the baby. I also volunteer at the church to work in the nursery during our services. She has seen me hold other people's babies and can't understand why I am not holding her too. I, like you, had a c-sec the first time around and I am praying for a successful VBAC so I can still pick up my daughter and hold her. My plan is to show her a bunch of attention whenever the newborn sleeps and try to engage her in my interactions with the baby as much as possible. In the meantime, if you have friends with little ones that you can hold and cuddle in front of him it might be helpful for him to see you loving a baby other than him...

Liz - posted on 01/06/2010

I'm going through the same thing. I have a set of almost 19 month old b/g twins who will be a little over 2 when their baby brother or sister will be born in July. On top of that I'll also have to have a c-section, since I had one with the twins. I don't think they quit understand yet what is going on, and I don't think they will until the baby is actually born and home. But my suggestion would be to get as much help as possible when you get home so you can heal, that is what I'm going to try and do.