I miss my granddaughter. I am now a grandmother, and I only see her once a week, is that common

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Kathryn - posted on 05/28/2013

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I miss my granddaughter Selena. I use to care for her 3 nights a weeks, since she was 3 weeks old. Selena use to call me momma, I did correct her that I am grandma. She is now 3 yrs old, I haven seen her since July 4th of last year. My heart is broken. The mother does not return my callls or letter. Just completely cut off. Not sure what I can do. My son does not see her, he has endless issues that he is working on. While he is working on his life, I am not part of it. I pray for Selena everyday, I just love her so much. Many nights I cry my self to sleep. What to do, Do grandmothers have any rights?

Karen - posted on 02/05/2013

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Lindsay, you seem like a fair and logical thinker, trying to make it work for all and allowing your child the gift of spending time with both grandparents.
You're right, ALL adults need to respect eachother whether or not children are in the picture, and once children are born, ALL need to work together.

Karen - posted on 02/05/2013

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I know this topic is years old, but I'm going to post anyway. Laurie, you have no idea how lucky you are to see your grandchild once a week. More and more parents are finding it very easy to cut the grandparents out all together, and they are empowered by the law to use their children when they are angry at their own parents. They with hold visitation after the child has already formed a relationship with the grandparents.

By now I hope you've managed to bite your tongue and take what you can get. If your grandchilds parents are anything like Suzanne, you may end up losing visitation all together.

My hat's off to Katie Watson, a yound woman who still manages to value family in a world that's become very "me me me"....."I work all week", "I need my time"....yet when you ask grandma and grandpa to babysit, they're usually right there ready to serve.
Your in laws should be so grateful katie that you are the considerate, loving mother of their grandchildren.

Lindsay - posted on 01/24/2009

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I agree that you need to consider your daughter's schedule.  But that does not necessarily mean you can't see your granddaughter more than once a week, unless mom has a problem with it.  If you were close before the baby came you should stay close.  That just might mean that you have to work harder to be accomidating.  My in laws live about 45 min away, where my mom lives 2 min away.  We take my daughter to my inlaws just about every Sunday.  Because of this we like to keep Saturday to ourselves to do loaundry, clean house ect.  But sometimes my mom will come to my house or watch the baby while I do these mundaine things.  Or we will go do our grocery shopping together.  Because she is not particular in the type of activity we do together, I can get what I need done and she and my dad get to spend time with my little one.  It all depends on what is normal for your family and as long as you are keeping a close check on yourself (not overstepping) and you communicate with your daughter and her husband you should be fine.  A lot of grandparents do not understand the road runs both ways.  Just because we can't come to your house doesn't mean you can't come to mine.  Ya know?

Katie - posted on 01/23/2009

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I have a hard time with our societies outlook on grandparents. In my heart I feel that a village should raise a child. It is only in our society that a single parent raises a child - in Africa, families live together in packs of 10. I wish my mom was here every day - but work, and life gets in the way of it. I lived with my mom, dad, sister and brother when my first daughter was born - and so she was surrounded by people who loved her, nurtured her and cared for her ALL the time. I don't get that luxury with my second daughter - but I would give anything to have it! I believe the more that your extended family is a part of your child's life, the better~

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Anne, my daughter and I were close as much as mom's and daughter's should be. I have let go per counseling, and it has been the best for both of us. thank you for your input.....

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Suzanne Thank you so much. I do not want to be smoothering and they have his parents near by too. I started out babysitting, and it did not work. My daughter does not want me to be the mother figure, I no longer babysit and I am happy about that. Thanks so much.......

Anne - posted on 01/23/2009

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I agree with everything Suzanne said. I guess it depends on how close you were before bubs came along too though.

Suzanne - posted on 01/22/2009

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Hi Laurie,



I would say this is very common!! Coming from a first time mother....My In-laws were wanting to see my baby like 2-3 times a week and it was becoming a very large problem. I also work fulltime and only get a couple of hours in the evening to spend with her, so I am very stingy on the wknds. 1 time per week is plenty. I'd say pretty lucky. You have to be mindful of the parents. They have lives too and it doesn't revolve around you and the time you want to spend with your new granddaughter. This is their child. Don't be smothering, and be thankful you are seeing her 1 per week!!! I am trying to get my on the 1 per every other week!!!!

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