Need advice: Two year old going to be a big brother

Serene - posted on 05/21/2010

Hi Rebecca I am in the same boat i am due in 3 weeks and I have an almost 2 year old, he'll be 2 on the 1st. I had been having problems lately mainly with his behavior. He knows that there is something going on with mommy. He been so clingy lately, fighting me, smacking me and sometimes throws tantrums. I put him in time out and sometimes it doesn't work. Other days he can be so sweet and give me kisses and tell me that he loves me.

When i have my daughter

1.I'm going to give them both the same amount of attention

2, while nursing her he is going to sit down next to me and I'll read him a book

3. 3xs a week he'll interact with his classmates at his preschool for several hours

4. Have him help me out with her like give him simple chores to do that he does now.

5. Once a week take him to his favorite spot the park and spend some time with him.

I'm hoping that these help out with the transition of the new baby. Good luck!!!!

4,

Antonia - posted on 05/21/2010

Congratulations! My daughter 23 months old is a big sister to now a 5 months boy and she has been fantastic ever since our boy came home. I've always included my daughter in the activities like feeding, nappy changing, playing etc and explained things to her as I was doing them in very simple terms. I'd ask her to do ''little jobs'' for me and it has worked a treat. I'd show her how I change the baby's nappy and then ask her to take the nappy to the bin with lots of good girl and you are such a good sister etc. I also included my daughter a lot in the pregnancy and explained that mummy had a baby in her tummy and she would kiss the ''baby'' good night. Now that is followed on so when she goes to bed, she kisses the baby good night etc. In the beginning I felt worried that I was not spreading myself evenly between the two children and I've come to the conclusion that you know what I am one mum and I've got 2 young children, I have play time together with both of them and then one on one time when the other is asleep but also trust your older child with your baby as well (I kept a sneaky eye on them without them knowing) but this will also biuld your eldest child's confidence and you'll get a true reflection of how they are together. Don't get me wrong, my daughter has done some naughty stuff and i've sent her to the naughty step for them and explained very clearly that we cannot bite, kick etc as that hurts the baby, but I'd shown the same to my son so when he kicks my daughter (he obviously has no idea what he is doing) but I tell him not to kick as it hurts so that my daughter can see that there is no preference between them, if they do naughty they get the same telling off. One thing I would say if there is is anything your eldest does ie go to nursery, play dates etc try and keep them going the whole time as it keeps something steady in their life and they know that their fun is not riuned by the new arrival. It's tough the first few months but so rewarding when i see my son laugh so happyily when his sister is playing with him, thats when you know its worth it. But do keep discipline consistent with your son otherwise they will take advantage. Good luck!

Angela - posted on 05/20/2010

i am in the same boat where i am due in 5 weeks and my little girl will be 2 when her little sibling will be born. She is a well behaved little girl and the advice i've been given are:
1. try to give the same attention to both
2. When new bub is sleeping, play with your 2 year old.
3. When you are feeding your bub, use this time to have your 2 year old sit next to you and read a book together or let him/her have a toy baby to feed.
4. Involve the 2 year old as much as you can with the bub eg. help change nappy, help with bath time, help with cleaning and folding clothes etc
5. have more special 'daddy' time when he gets home from work or vice versa....give bub to daddy and you spend time with your 2 year old.
6. If you can get someone to babysit the little bub, take your two year old out for one on one time together maybe once a week.

I'm not sure how my little girl is going to be but i will do my hardest to make sure she isn't ignored and that she is just as special as her new little sibling. Good luck, it will be hard to begin with but once a good routine is put into place it should be easy....all the best!! Hope my advice will help you xo

Orlaith - posted on 05/19/2010

Hi Rebecca,
My first daughter was two years old when I had my second daughter, and like you I was worried that she would be jealous with a second little person around.
However she was great. She never had a problem with the new baby.
I always tried to give them both the same amount of attention, and gave her little jobs to do to help Mommy with the baby, and that made her feel grown up!!

I had a little boy 2 years ago and the two girls have been a great help with him, so as they get older it will get easier ( I hope!)
Best of luck with the new baby, and dont worry, all will work out okay!

Pamela - posted on 05/16/2010

my kids are 26 months apart. DD 1 had some speech issues at the time so I didn't really know if she even knew there was a baby coming! I talked to her a bit about it, but didn't overdo it so I wasn't really sure what to expect. But she took to DD2 with no problems, there was absolutely no adjustment period. It was no more shock her than if w went to Targetfor a new shirt -- lol! And she still loves her sister to bits 23 months later! I don't remember having to do this too much, but if it becomes an issue -- I remember reading some advice from someone when I was expecting #2: if both kids are crying (and it's not an emergency for one of them) to tend to the oldest first --- the baby won't remember it or know the difference but your oldest will and won't feel that the baby has taken his place or is more important.

Staci - posted on 05/15/2010

I just brought #2 into our home a month ago and my June 2008 baby has a bad case of mommy-itis (as I like to call it) ever since. She has had some trouble adjusting to mommy holding the new baby so I have to hold her alot more than I ever had to before. She actually says "baby down, my-my up" (her name is melanie and she calls herself my-my). She also has had some issues with temper tantrums, perhaps to get negative attention - because negative attention is attention...She is not a kid that acts out so it has been a rough month. Don't let me mislead you though - it's not an every day thing...just some differences in her behavior since the new baby came along. Several of my friends are in the same boat with a new baby and a 2 year old and they all tell me it takes about 2 months for the older one to adjust...so I am praying the next month goes quickly! haha. I have been extremely consistent with time-outs for tantrums and bad behavior and it has made a big difference. I would encourage you to start that before the baby arrives. Really though, they don't have the capacity to understand the future (that a baby is coming) so you just have to wait until the baby comes and work it out. Best advice I can give you is to share your time between them as evenly as you can. The good thing about newborns is that they sleep alot...so as soon as I am done feeding my newborn and he goes to sleep, I am off to do a puzzle or draw or something with my 2 year old.

Kelli - posted on 05/14/2010

Good Luck to you!! I had my second son a couple of months ago and our oldest son is almost 2. he has not had a problem with the new baby around. In fact he tries to share his hot wheels and food, its kinda cute! Gavin was around dogs all the time and i know pets are a good way to help them learn to share and that they arent the only ones that need mommy or daddys love.
i hope your family does good with the new baby and safe labor to you!!