To spank or not to spank?

Rebecca - posted on 06/14/2010

Melissa,

Thanks for your thoughts and although I disagree with your methods and reasoning, I can tell that you are a caring mother. My method of discipline yields the same results, without me having to lay a hand on my child.

Take care.

Crystal - posted on 06/14/2010

Just replying to the parents that ignore there kids. I think they are following the other disciplinary thing which is ignoreing your child when they misbehave.
I try not to judge other parents ways of parenting as i dont want to be judged either. I have one of those noisy kids at the shops. But that is just cause he is hyper and wants to let off some of his energy. Understand that shopping is very very boring for children. If i am clothes shopping or similar then i let my son out of his troller in the change rooms and yes i let him run around there a little bit (to a degree of course) as he is not causing any damage and is not hurting anyone. I also have that child in the supermarket that hollers and gives people headaches. He is not grizzling just entertaining himself so i try to distract him with something else as i dont call this misbehaving, just entertaining himself. I do tell him that he needs to use his inside voice (but i am not sure he understands that yet) but i wont punish him for something like that, i dont really care so much if it is annoying other people to an extent as my son is more important and if you are in a public place you should really expect some things. Not saying i encourage it, but i am not going to punish my son for other peoples benefit when he is not really doing something naughty as such. However if he is throwing a tantrum thats another story. But he tends to just be cheeky and want to play rather than throw tantrums, plus he is super independant.

Crystal - posted on 06/14/2010

Loike others say it is personal preference and it is a very touchy subject with some. I smacked my son from about 18 months, when i know that he understood what i was saying (he would slowly reach out to something he knew he wasn't alowd to touch and i would say no and he would pull back) after he had 3 warnings. I would say to him on the last one "no thats your last warning next time you get a smack" or something along those lines and if he blatantly ignored me he would get a smack on his hand. He is a little bit more advanced than other kids his age though and much much bigger, so if you're thinking thats too young, then you probably have a normal toddler (he just turned 2 and most people think he is at least 3 1/2). Now i can do timeouts he gets a smack less often unless it is something really bad. He always gets told why he has got a smack or why he has got a timeout. I make him say sorry mummy if he has had a timeout before he gets down. But he thinks timeout is playtime anyway. He just sits there and plays with his feet. But is effetive enbough for him to know he did something naughty. Running on the road is something i think is more that you would need to explain that it is wrong and why rather than punish for, as somethings they dont understand are bad and some they do (if you understand what i am saying). But thats just what i think.

Melissa - posted on 06/14/2010

@ laurie NO MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY DAUGHTER HAS NOT CHANGED IF ANYTHING IT HAS GOTTEN EVEN BETTER WHEN I SPANK HER BOTTOM & STILL AFTER I SPANK MY DAUGHTER BEHIND, POP HER HAND OR DO TIME-OUT SHE STILL RIGHT AFTER GIVES ME A KISS & HUG & SAYS SORRY. B/C SHE KNOWS SHE HAS TO LISTEN TO MOMMY OR THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES FOR HER BEHAVOR.

ALSO @ YOUR OTHER QUESTION BOUT "SPERM DONOR" THERE NO WAY TO TALK TO HIM B/C HES ALWAYS RUDE WHEN HE PICKS UP OUR DAUGHTER & RUDE WHEN HE DROPS OUR DAUGHTER OFF.

I WISH TO GOD I NEVER TOLD HIM I HAD OUR DAUGHTER.

I'M NOT ABLE TO TAKE HIM TO COURT TO BRING THE STUFF UP B/C I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY FOR A LAWYER. & STILL DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW HE GOT THE MONEY FOR A LAWYER. SO I HAVE TO WAIT TIL HE IF HE EVER DOES TAKE ME TO COURT AGAIN & BRING IT UP THEN.

Melissa - posted on 06/14/2010

@ rebecca SPANKING OR SWATTING YOUR CHILD ON THE HAND OR BEHIND DOES NOT MAKE THEM AFRAID OF YOU. IT LETS THEM KNO IM THE CHILD MOMMY OR DADDY IS THE ADULT IF I DO SOMETHING WRONG & DO IT AGAIN AFTER BEING TOLD NOT TOO. THEN THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES FOR MY BEHAVOR.


THEY ARE NOT DEFENCELESS CHILD
WHEN THEY DO SOMETHING WRONG THEY DID WHAT THEY DID TO SEE IF MOMMY OR DADDY ARE GOING TO ACTUALLY DO AS THEY SAY TO ME.

& WHO EVER SAID BABIES OR TODDLERS DONT UNDERSTAND ARE LYING THROUGH THERE DAMN MOUTH (NOT SAYING ANYONE ON HERE SAID JUS SAYIN IT) THEY KNOW THEY ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG B/C THEY LOOK AT YOU & SEE IF YOUR WATCHING THEM & WHEN YOUR WITH OTHER PEOPLE THEY TRY EVEN MORE TO SEE IF THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT WHEN THEY ARE AROUND OTHER PEOPLE.

I DO SPANKING WHEN NEEDED LIKE RUNNING OUT IN THE ROAD, KICKING ME, HITTING ME ON THE ARM ECT... STUFF LIKE THAT.

Laurie - posted on 06/13/2010

Are you able to speak to the "Sperm donor" about how they treat your daughter when she is there?

Laurie - posted on 06/13/2010

I am curious to know if people have noticed a change in their relationship with their child after beginning to spank them.

Camber - posted on 06/13/2010

And I also think that it is completely wrong to spank with anything except a hand. paddles and belts just seem wrong, Im only trying to let my son know he messed up not hurt him.

Camber - posted on 06/13/2010

I was always for time outs as well until about 2 months ago or so. My son is hitting his Terrible 2's and I find time outs to be more of a reward for him. Strange as it sounds he really doesnt mind them. He also is a very laid back kid though but nevermind that. My rule for me is if I am angry with him because he did something huge I wont spank him I send him to his room. Eventually I want to get back to time outs though, I liked them better.

Laurie - posted on 06/12/2010

I don't believe that there's ever an appropriate time to spank. I think that if we tell kids that they aren't allowed to hit other kids/people/pets, why are we allowed to do it? Kids learn a lot from watching their parents/caregivers. Parents are usually very familiar with their childrens reactions in most situations and can prevent behaviours that lead to people thinking their child needs to be spanked. I'm not saying I've never felt like spanking a child because they can be very trying but children WILL understand what is expected of them and will be more relaxed in an environment when there is no spanking. In addition, sometimes, if a caregiver is very upset with a child, there can be more force than they realize behind their spank. Securely attached children want to please their parents and with effective communication and the use of distraction and positive reinforcement for good behaviour, disciplining negative behaviour should get a little easier.

Thanks for reading.

Dr. Sears' "the Discipline Book" is a very useful resource for discipline.

Shayla - posted on 06/11/2010

i personally see no problems with giving your child a swat on the but as long as no object is used to do it with. My son is two and time outs only work for so long and under certain circumstances honestly i spank my child when i feel he needs it. But EVERY child is different if time out works with your kid stick to it but if you are feeling that it is not working out so well then i would suggest trying something different such as spanking

Christine - posted on 06/11/2010

No offense to reader above me, but if you are a Christian you fear God because you respect him as your Father your child should see you as the same way so that they can grow to have that same respect and fear for Him. I do spank my child because I know if I don't she will be like the countless other children running around who are not discplined and showing disrespect not only for others, but for themselves as well. By spanking a child you teach them to fear the consquences without that fear on their conscience they would just grow up believing they could do as they please. Like some teenagers today, and some preteens (this really gets my goat) who brag about the multitude of sex partners they have had and things of that nature. Although I don't agree a lot about one of the women above if my child spit in my face I would pop her in the mouth. Children are not as stupid as some people treats them and understand so much more then we give them credit for and if a 2 year old spits in your face, they know they are disrespecting you. You may not see the consquences now for not spanking, but in my personal opinion and no offense to anyone a child who is not spanked finds themselves in situations such as teen and pregnant, drugs, sexual diseases , and countless other things. I do believe spanking in anger causes a child to become physically violent because youa re showing them how to handle their own anger and that is not a postitive way to handle it. I agree with the woman who said warning , swat and if I feel I am about to lsoe my cool time out so that I may not lose my cool and reamin calm. It's important that children see you practicing this teaches them that if they are lsoing their cool to remove theirselves from the situation, take a step back, and calm down. Yes, as a parent you can lose your cool, matter of fact , it shows you are emotionally tied. Not ever losing your cool suggest a lack of emotion. I learned that the first go round, I got so upset when I lost my cool the first time ( not in front of my child, but still) and talked to someone about it. :-) If in a store i don't knwo if I would always spank or not , but here is a scernio where I would spank , I was reading about one kid who wanted a toy from his father he told him no and the kid starting hollering you're not my daddy. I would spank for that because that is a serious situation which could have dire consquences. My child's behavior due to my raising her this way, yes ma'am no ma'am please and thank you, excuse me, she doesn't yell or scream to get her way. I always get rave reviews abotu her anywhere she goes. Also take into effect other things when you are spanking or any form of punishment. If the child is tired or hungry their behavior is effected and I personally don't think that should be punished you should just feed them or let them take a nap. Also must knwo your child very well because sometimes just like adults they have bad days and get upset for no reason and will do things for attention because they feel you are ignoring them and maybe they just wanna play with you. I don't begrudge how anyone raises their child and how you want to do it is fine, but if your children act crazy because of lack of discpline that is your fault and for the parents I personally know my child is not having play time with yours. I also wanted to note that i've noticed children are better behaved when they have freedom to play. I don't even have cable in my house( though I love T.V.) and although my kids are allowed to watch t.v. since we don't have it they are spending mroe time playing outside or inside. It keeps their behavior calm and subdued except for the playfuil yelling and stuff. I've noticed some parents don't let their children run and yell in a plyfull manner and I think they need that for their own perosnal growth.

Rebecca - posted on 06/11/2010

I do not spank, swat, pop AT ALL - period. I believe you can discipline a child without physical pain (however minor it may be) and if you don't know how or your way isn't working - EDUCATE YOURSELF. Watch some Super Nanny and get some ideas. If you do the techniques right (oh yes, it is possible to do time-outs wrong) they work. I started using these techniques with my 2 year old as soon as it was appropriate and have had very good results.

When my daughter was born, my Dad said to me that he regretted spanking me and my sisters when we were little (not that he did it much but an occasional spank or swat) - he said "if you did something wrong now, as an adult, I wouldn't hit you. Why would I do it when you're a defenseless child???"

I don't judge other parents who decide to discipline their children with physical pain, I'm just happy that I am able to get better result without. This way my child will grow up thinking about making the right choices because it is the right thing to do, not because she is afraid of me.

Jessica - posted on 06/10/2010

I wouldn't say you swat in self defense. It's not self defense. It's teaching the child how it feels. My daughter used to kick during diapering and I would ask her if she wanted me to kick her. She would say no and stop. She does kick now but rarely. I just ask her the same thing and it immediately stops.

Jessica - posted on 06/10/2010

One girl said be ready to leave the public place because the kid throws a fit or acts out. I don't think you should do that because then it teaches the kid hey I throw a fit and we can leave.

Jessica - posted on 06/10/2010

I don't spank unless I really need to get the point across like you said for running towards the road. My daughter is two and she did run towards the road a few times and I spanked her. She hasn't done it since. I usually use a swat on the hand or a firm no and if they don't work I just remove her from whatver she is doing or remove the object. She throws a fit but I've learned to just let them throw a fit and they will get over it quicker than if you were to interfere. I talk to my daughter a lot. She is very smart and I don't need to punish her that often.

Heather - posted on 06/10/2010

I work in 3 strikes your out.
1- I tell them NO.
2- You get down and look them in the eye *very important* you must drop your voice down an octive and the last word in your sentance goes down one more octive. This sounds serious, more like a dad voice.
3- time out. Starts when they are quiet, lasts for as many minutes as they are old or longer.
The exception- my son will hit me in the face, kick me during diaper changes and even headbutts, then I will swat in defense.

Tina - posted on 06/09/2010

Thank Melissa. We did it with our older son a couple of times and then he hated going to bed.
My youngest throws some amazing temper tantrums so we have done it almost to protect him when he is throwing himself everywhere.

Melissa - posted on 06/08/2010

@ Tina i saw on supernanny one night where she had one mom put her son on his bed to cool down or timeout can't remember which one but it did work with him.

Tina - posted on 06/08/2010

I see nothing wrong with it. Every child is different and what works for one may not work on another so you need to find out what will work with your child.

My 2 yr old got a spanking when he ran out into a parking lot. lucky there were no cars. He seems to think it is a game to always run from us.
We have tried time outs with him but see a stubborn streak and not sure they are having any effect. We have put him in his bed for a time out but hate to do that as we do not want him to put bed and in trouble together.

Melissa - posted on 06/05/2010

Yea i always do it in this order with my daughter

1st Warning
2nd TIme-out
3rd Spanking

Kat - posted on 06/05/2010

I believe in spankings until children are old enough to reason with. my daughter is turning two and she doesn't really listen or even always comprehend when I say not to do something. timeouts in a chair seem pointless to me, especially if the chair faces out. Sometimes I make Alivia stand with her nose in the corner and her hands behind her back and then everytime she takes her nose out of the corner, I thump her on the back of the head. Works pretty well, but some days, she's spent several times in the corner and I feel I need a more effective punishment, she will get spanked.

my son, on the other hand, is 4. he very rarely gets spankings. usually I make him stand in the corner with his hands behind his back, or I make him get down on the ground and give me push-ups until I tire of saying "down. up. down. up. down. up." and he knows he must hold in the "up" position until I say "down" again. This is VERY effective. Every so often though, he needs a reminder of who is boss, and he will get a spanking.

My children are always warned before-hand. I try to never give an unannounced spanking. They are warned that a spanking is coming if their behavior continues (unless it was something dangerous - no warnings for dangerous acts - only immediate punishment). I feel that because they are warned, they are given the choice of whether or not they WANT a spanking. Afterall, if they were warned and they continue to do whatever they shouldn't be, then they won't be surprised when a spanking is the result.

Melissa - posted on 06/04/2010

yea thats a big part of why prolly. yea same with my daughter too when shes around other people.

yea when she comes home from sperm donors house she trys to see what she can get away with. & today she was just testing me since she just got done with Gymnastics Class & wanted to see if ima let her do as she wants in the store umm no.

Yea when they are brought up right from birth they are most likely to be the ones to excel in school & listen to there parents.

Serene - posted on 06/04/2010

LOL gotta get them now while they are young. Discipline starts at a young age and I think that if they start young then they will be respectful children when they get older. I think my son tries to see what he can get away with, i think that it has a lot to do with me being pregnant. He knows there is baby in belly because he'll put his head on my belly, tap my stomach and give it kisses and say,"Baby." Then he'll misbehave... But, when he is around other people they tell me that he was so good. very surprised!!

Melissa - posted on 06/04/2010

LOL GOOD JOB i spanked carolina in target earlier today she kept showin out. she wanted out the buggy i told her ok lets put your shoes back on. so i did & i told her now look at mommy you have to hold my hand & you cant run from mommy or you going back in the buggy, she said yes mam well she would run & mess with stuff so i put her in the buggy she kept showin out so spanked her behind no one was looking or said anything but if they did i would have told em off LOL

Serene - posted on 06/04/2010

LOL i just got done spanking my son and i donot feel guilty about it one bit.. He deserved it. We were in the back yard playing and he runs out of the fence and down the street threw a couple of allies and i am yelling at him to stop and he thought that hed keep on running. Here i am 39 weeks pregnant yelling at him and hes laughing, finally when i caught up with him i gave him a good ass whipping and some guy stopped his car and stared at me and i asked him what the f***ck you looking at and he shook his head and drove off. So, i would of probably done the same thing if i was in a store and said the same thing to someone if they started staring at me.

Melissa - posted on 06/04/2010

yea that can happen if my daughter ever acts out & i have to pop her in a store & someone looks at me & gives that you kno what stare id ask em do you have a problem ? at least my child not gonna be 16 & pregnant & runnin around telling me she not gonna do as i tell her.

Faith - posted on 06/04/2010

Yes I believe spanking is a good tool to teach your kids and teach them right from wrong. Some kids need different types of disciple though. With my 5 girls, they have all been very different when it comes to disciple. For me its also biblical. In the Bible it says "Spare the rod, spoil the child." So true! Time out can be effective too but when it comes to your childs safety, spanking should be inforced. Like when your child wants to run away from you in a parking lot with cars all over, thats a needed time to teach them not to run when they are called. When your in a store though, you do need to be very careful because there are alot of people who believe spanking is abuse and will try to report it. So unless you want to deal with all of that, you may want to wait until you are out of site. I even have a friend who's child was misbehaving at a restaurant so she took him to the car to spank him. Well, a lady saw it and called the police. She got it all settled but how annoying! So it can happen.

Kathryn - posted on 06/04/2010

I agree with most of the posts. Main thing is it is about you and your family. If you choose to, go ahead, but make sure to do it properly. Do some research on it. Don't do it in anger but love.

Time outs work quite well for my son, but on rare occassion, (a couple times a year) spanking is needed.

Serene - posted on 06/03/2010

I've been to stores also and seen some kids misbehave, older kids that are 3 or 4 years old and there parents just stand there and let them throw a fit on the floor or throw objects across the room or even cry for an object and there parents said."NO!" Man, at that age i would be so imbarrassed if my child acted out like that and i would not take you to the car, i would take you to the bathroom or dressing room and give you something to truely cry about. My son threw one tantrum that i can remember when we were in a store and he was 18 months old and he was sliding down a slide and i was ready to go and he wasn't. I carried him out to the car and he kicked and screamed and i smacked him on the leg and he stopped. I buckeld him in his carseat and he was fine. That was the last time he had thrown a fit like that in a store, but at the same time i would perfer him to ride in the shopping cart then run wild all over the place.

Melissa - posted on 06/03/2010

not holloring but i shouldnt remove myself or child from the store that just tells them ok if i do this mommy jus gonna leave the store yes i would want to hear a mom getting onto her child in the store maybe if more parents did kids wont be acting like they do.



i see soooooooooooo many kids misbehaving in stores & there parents not doing a damn thing to them (excuse my language)

& there was an incident where my daughter when she was a baby & i were in the dollar store & a black boy was throwing the ball in the store & hit my daughter. & i told the mom can you please watch your child b/c he just hit my daughter with the ball & she wanted to get all rude & tell her child come on before i have to beat this bitches ass.



so your darn right i want to see more parents getting onto there kids in stores, doing time-out in stores, & hearing them poping there behind in a restroom or dressing room at a store.



& FOR THE LAST TIME I DO NOT CALL HER A BRAT I WAS JUST STATING THAT SHE IS A TEE TOTAL BRAT WHEN SHE COMES HOME FROM HER SPERM DONORS HOUSE BECAUSE THEY DONT MAKE HER MIND & LET HER GO AROUND DOING WHATEVER SHE WANTS.

Naomi - posted on 06/03/2010

I believe in spanking, but I have recently gone back and forth trying to figure out how much/when/etc. On the other hand, I'd always say if they do something dangerous that they know for sure is off limits, of course a spanking is in order.

Other than that, here's some advice a friend gave me that has really clarified my thinking of when/how to spank. Basically, I used to use spanking as a 'last resort' type of thing. However, I realized I was then getting angry, and not able to spank because I didn't want to do it in anger. My friend suggested that I give one warning and then a spanking - even before doing time outs. With time outs, a lot of children just see it as play time and it doesn't affect them (well that's how my son is anyway). So if you give a warning and right away a spanking, they will get it because they know you are serious about the issue. For this reason, you have to be very very very consistent. Otherwise you will confuse the child.

Also, depending on how you do timeouts it can be not very effective. Let's say the child keeps doing the same thing over and over and over...well then they are in timeout every 5 minutes all day right? I know my son really wouldn't mind at all if that was the case for him. But if you leave them in timeout until they have a change of attitude, behavior, whatever...they could be in time out for a very, very long time, and even forget why they are there. See? It can very easily be ineffective to use time outs right away.

So basically, I warn, spank, and if I have to spank more than twice for an issue, THEN it becomes a timeout, if my patience are worn down, bc I don't want to spank in anger. However...after a spanking or two, usually the issue is taken care of, and I am not dealing with the same thing all day long over and over and over....because my son knows a spanking hurts, and he doesn't want to do something to have to get to that point again. It nips the problem in the bud SO much faster. It sounds different, but really...there is a happier mommy and a happier child in our household from the time I implemented this method.

(Btw...for those that may say spanking teaches them how to hit, they are having the wrong view of spanking. A true spanking is on the bare bottom, not in anger, just clear discipline. Tell the child why they are receiving a spanking, give it, and then hug, tell the child you love him, and carry on. It's over.

I would agree that reaching over and hitting the hand, or smacking the face or something like that, in an immediate "Now you made me angry. STOP that!' attitude, in frustration, is not spanking. That is abuse. That kind of thing will teach a child to hit.

Bethanie - posted on 06/03/2010

Oy, so Melissa, you'd rather listen to some mom spanking or hollering at her child in public? That makes for a pleasant shopping experience! If my son is doing something minor, like throwing his blanket or being whiny, I address it in the store but if he's going to act like a wild banchy, throwing himself on the floor or running through the store screaming (none of which he's ever done), I'm going to remove him from the situation. There is no reason to continue shopping with a child who is acting like that and sorry but I don't want to listen to someone else's child doing it either!

Serene - posted on 06/03/2010

I'm all for spanking. I have worked in childcare myself for 6 years and watched how 2 year olds have acted. Some of these kids are so disbaehaved and they talk to everyone with disrespect and yes most of it is from there parents, but i thought to myself my children will never talk to me like that or anyone else.

I have swatted my son on the butt a couple of times for running out in the street, or trying to climb out of carseat while car is in motion or other dangerous situations at home. I've tried time-out and he thinks that it is funny and same with redirection he'll go back and do the same thing. Spanking has helped alot.

Also to Melissa i have never told my son that he was a brat but he has bit me in the shoulder one day and i did pop him in the mouth and that was the last time he had ever bit me. I find it very direspectful for a child to spit at you and i think that i would of popped my child in the mouth for spitting also. Thats just gross. I don't blame you one bit for popping your daughter in the mouth.

Melissa - posted on 06/02/2010

& no child of mine is gonna spit at me in the face & she learned her lesson & never done it again

Melissa - posted on 06/02/2010

& I HAVE MY REASONS AS WHY I CALL HIM THAT & UNTIL HE DOES A 180 & SHOWS HES A GREAT DAD I WILL CONTINUE TO CALL HIM A SPERM DONOR.

Melissa - posted on 06/02/2010

OOHHHH I DONT CALL HER THAT I MEAN SHE ACTS LIKE ONE WHEN SHE RETURNS FROM HER SPERM DONORS HOUSE

PATRICIA - posted on 06/02/2010

Wow i dont think you should ever pop your kid in the mouth and I also dont think you should call her a brat and for the sperm donor comment I hope you only say that to other moms and not somewhere you kids can here. You may not like him but that is your childs dad, You should never label your kids or use words that put down, it will damage their self esteem.

Melissa - posted on 06/02/2010

my daughter understands b/c she looks at you & does it & trys to see what all she can get away with \

& dont let me begin with how my daughter acts when she comes home from her sperm donors house shes a COMPLETE TEE TOTAL BRAT & MEAN TOO b/c they prolly just let her do what ever she wants & lets her get away with everything

Melissa - posted on 06/02/2010

i disagree with Bethanie on leaving the store & handleing it at the car WHO CARES WHO LOOKS YEA YOU MAY FEEL EMBARRASSED but at least our kids not gonna be the ones 16 & pregnant & trying to tell us they not gonna do something when they told.

ohh i even had to pop my daughter in the mouth not hard she learned to spit & one day i put her in time-out in her high chair & she spit at me so i gave her a lil pop on the mouth & said we do not spit & you will not do that to mommy or anyone else thats not nice.

thats the only time i had to do that & she hasn't done it again

Melissa - posted on 06/02/2010

i put my daughter in time out at kmart several months ago she would not sit in the buggy & was acting out so i said ok you want to act out you can go to time out no one was sitting on the bench in the front of the store so i put her there & said time out & watched my clock for 2 minutes

you suppose to put them there for there age even tho she had several months til she turns 2 i still did it for 2 minutes & when her time was up i asked her did you want to try it again & she shook her head yes & she got in the buggy like she should have.


also if someone was sitting there i would have asked them nicely if they could pkease get up b/c i need to use that for time-out for my daughter.

one time in belks i had to take her to the bathroom & pop her on the butt with diaper on. b/c she kept running from me she wanted to walk so i said ok you have to hold mommy's hand & she didnt want to & was messing with everything so we went into the dressing room i poped her bottom & she was good after that

PATRICIA - posted on 06/02/2010

Yeah My daughter has had a few only because she wants to run like the wind and she is very hyper. I think when she gets a bit older it will help, she still does not quite get everything I am saying to her.

Bethanie - posted on 06/02/2010

I would say be ready to leave the store or situation and address the behavior in the car, away from prying eyes and distractions. Finding a bench or a seat of some kind to sit her on in a store would be a good option. I find that bending down and looking my son in the eye and speaking to him in a low and stern voice helps to get his attention and calm him down but he has yet to have any meltdowns in public.

PATRICIA - posted on 06/02/2010

Yeah, I think it just really depends on each kid and parent. Some days its tempting to give her a swat but I dont really think it would be effective, So I will stick to the time outs, I just dont really know where to give her a time out when were out in public and shes acting up. Any thoughts ?? Shes 2.

Bethanie - posted on 06/02/2010

I'm the opposite, I guess. I was swatting on the hand or butt as a correction to my son's behavior AFTER I had told him multiple times to stop BUT that stopped having much of an effect on his behavior and I felt like I was always swatting him! So, we switched to time out's and it works great! He stays there and afterwards I tell him why he was there and he says sorry and gives hugs and kisses.

Melissa - posted on 06/02/2010

yea i always try timeout as well before & now when my daughter does something bad she tries to switch the conversation & she says hug hug or she pucker her lips for a kiss lol & shes only 23 months ! ! ! !
they learn fast lol

Christina - posted on 06/02/2010

i don't spank nessaceraly(sp?) but i will give like a swat on the butt if time out doesn't work, or if my kids do someting dangerous like running out in the rude, or if they behave badly in the store when we get to the car i will talk to them, and if we go to another store and they are still misbehaving then we leave and i swat them.. but i always try time outs first

Kristina - posted on 06/02/2010

Time outs doesn't work for my 2 year old, but normally if I swatch his hand or his little diapered booty he gets the idea that whe he is doing is not right.

Penny - posted on 06/02/2010

It's really your personal preference. Time out doesn't work for my daughter. She thinks it's playtime so if she does something naughty a little smack on her hand and she knows better.

Melissa - posted on 06/01/2010

nothin wrong with a spanking i was one of those that said im not going to spank but working in a childcare center be4 for 2 1/2 years & see how some them kids act b/c they have no parent making them mind. i was like i will pop my daughter when the need is there if timeout dont work i will pop her behind back talking yes i dont do it all the time i do it when its needed